Amy's New Start : Comments Welcome!

[Amy&Dan]

Ok,I need to vent a bit! I just checked my email and have one from my sister. I may have mentioned she got laid off recently and now she's all hot to get recertified to teach. She hasn't taught in over 28 years and in fact she never did teach but rather was a sub. It is all I hear about. What she has to do, how hard it is blah, blah, blah. She wants to move back to Denver and teach down here. Fine. She hasn't liven in Denver for 15 years but she's convinced life will be pefect when she comes back. I will add Denver is way more expensive than where she currenly lives. She is actually surviving fine on unemployment since her rent is so dirt cheap.

Anyway, today she writes she is on her way down to Denver to go to the public school hiring office to see what they have going on and at the end of her email she writes: "I'll let you know if I get hired so you and your family can put your lives on hold and move me back to Denver".

So typical. She's not kidding either by the way. Yeah, I put my life on hold for six weeks last summer. I cleaned out a house that was like something on a reality show, spent hundreds upon hundreds of dollars on hotels, packing and cleaning supplies and food to feed us all while we got her out of there. I helped her find a place to live that is beautiful and perfect for her needs and budget but for some reason she is now obsessed "with getting out of there". She amazes me. She finally gets some security and she's ready to throw it all away, up and move 75 miles and just assumes I'll be happy to help her with Fresh Start Number 20. She claims the district in her area isn't hiring but she does say there are others nearby that are, that she could easily commute to from where she lives now, and not up and move and lose what little security she has. But common sense seldom enters her universe.

I assume she won't try this until September when her current lease is up but who knows. Its seeminly impossible for her to do this given she's unemployed, has no savings and for once I won't be offering financial assistance but she has a way of throwing all caution to the winds and just going for broke. Literally.

Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled she's going to teach. I have mentioned to her for years she should go back and get recertified (which she never wanted to do until now) but like alll things she does, its all or nothing. I mean teach for sure, but start out in a district that is not too far away to commute to from where you now live. This is the kind of thing that made my mother not sleep a decent night's sleep for over 25 years.

Its just sad for me that so soon after getting on her feet, she's willing to risking falling back off the cliff. I guess in the end, she and I are both putting the horse before the cart. She has no idea what the requirements are, how long it will take and if she can even get a job. So I therefore don't know either. But what I do know is that she gets a bug up her butt and won't let it drop. She was so happy when we found this condo she rents, to me it was a God thing we even found it and now six months later its "done, time to move on". Why will the next fresh start be different? Oh well, its her life. This time I am not in a position to help her out so she'll have to do this one on her own. I just need to make sure she understands that.

 

[toystoryduo]

I hope things work out for you sister, Amy. I hope she is able to see that she has some stability in her life now and that it's up to her to make things continue to happen in a positive way. Sending lots of prayers for you and for her as well.

Great job on calorie counting yesterday!!! Keep up the good work!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Tracy.

My sister is one of those genius types that is book smart but life stupid! Her entire adult life reflects that.

I think at her age, with her history, she's beyond having the luxury to take a chance like this right now. In this economy, with teachers being cut right and left, I think if she gets into that profession, she should get some savings built up for a rainy day that might happen all too soon. And moving is so expensive, however she has not had to deal with that. Years ago when she moved from Denver, her boyfriend paid for the move, then my mother gave her 5K to cover the fallout that happened later on from her rush to move to a guy who turned out to be all wrong for her. In September, Dan and I came to the rescue and in spite of some really scary possibilities, it all worked out. I mean she got laid off and can still survive just fine in her current rental.

I don't even bother to say "I hope she knows what she's doing" because I know she doesn't. And she'll be leaving behind her son who is a huge support to her because he's staying put in Colorado Springs.

I know her and I know in her mind, this move will solve all her problems. In my mind it will just create a bunch of new ones that I can't help her out of this time. I get so tired where she is concerned. Its just too much work sometimes to even try to be supportive of her.

 

[eyor44]

Oh Amy, isn't family wonderful Hopefully after talking to HRO your Dsis will think things through a bit more. Hopefully. You really did work so hard to get her where she is.

May I make a suggestion on keep tracking of the calorie counting? How about a small notebook to keep in your purse. That way you could at least write stuff down while you are out and have a record for when you write it all down later. This is what I am going to do to keep track of spending. I failed miserably by day 3 on remembering everything when I got home from somewheres. And receipts didn't work cause of all the little stuff you don't get a receipt for.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Lisa, I do have a small notebook around so I think I'll take your advice and put that in my purse so that I have a place to record what I eat when I am not home. For now with our Lent promise to not eat out, its easy to track what I eat since its all right here in my own kitchen! But come post Easter, I know we'll begin to eat out some, just not too often because I must say, its so much cheaper with $$ and calories to eat at home!

I bought a calorie counter last night on my way home from church. Its got so much listed, plus restaurants so that should be really helpful. I cannot believe my Wed. nite class has just one more week. Those little girls (1st graders) have really been a ray of sunshine in my life. And as I have gotten to know the other two teachers, they too are blessings. We all three decided to come back next year and move up with the girls into second grade. I am happy for a break but already excited for next year!

I am mad at myself, I came home from church and ate 280 calories worth of ice cream.WTH??? Oh well, I did come in at 1555 for the night. I was just so hungry and thought "one spoonful" and then before I knew it I had eaten about a cup. I realize I need to really concentrate on filling foods, with only 1200-1400 per day, its easy to be hungry if you don't eat the right balance.

I did walk for an hour yesterday, my first "no jacket" walk of 2011 (not counting our time in Disneyland in January ). It felt good. I started out by myself then as the walk wore on more ppl started coming in (several people walk there while their kids have sports practice on the field) and as usual I was getting "passed" by everybody. I was proud in that it really didn't bother me. I kept my pace, I did an hour and in the end, walking slower than others beats not walking at all.

I also had time to reflect and pray regarding my sister. Bottom line, its her life. Dan told me that he feels (and said he thinks I probably do too) like its almost a slap in our face when she just callously says "time to move, do it all over again for me". Giving up 5 weekends in a row, working like dogs, is all done and over for her, but for us its still fresh in our minds. We both feel she's making a mistake to move so soon, but we both agree we aren't saying a word. I didn't respond to her email. If she rock bottoms again, well she'll figure it out. Maybe we have helped her so much that she's due to now help herself. In any case, worrying about it is stupid. I have enough problems of my own to worry about!

Hope everyone has a super Thursday, weekend is almost here!

 

[toystoryduo]

I think you did really well yesterday! Please don't be too upset about the ice cream. Yes, you did have some, but the portion was controlled and plus, you walked for an hour yesterday. I bet it all worked itself out!

How did today go for you? I had a run in (MAJOR stress eating) with a bag of Hot Fries and some cheddar cheese. The protein in the cheese helped since I paired it with the carbs.

Have a wonderful evening!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Tracy, as long as you drank a diet coke with those hot fries, you are fine since diet drinks cancel out the fat and carbs with junk food! At least that's what my mama used to tell me. I gotta find these hot fries, they intrigue me. And to be honest, the only reason I portioned controlled that ice cream is because I ate the last bit that was left in the carton! Otherwise, I would have eaten more. Thank goodness ds had beat me to that ice cream throughout the week, it would have been a trainwreck if he hadn't!

So ds came home today all wigged out about this former friend of his. This kid and ds were friends back in 5th grade. I disliked this kid from the word go, he reminded me of Sid from Toy Story and he was obsessed with violence, and ways to "off people". The only reason I let it go on so long was his parents were the nicest couple. However, after some really disturbing things happened, I finallyhad to tell ds "you are not to be friends with him". Well they went to different middle schools but ended up in the same high school and just this semester the same English class. They all had to write a poem, ds' was about the Marines and being frightened about serving during war and was actually very lovely. This other kid's was about how he hates his parents and he wants to kill them. His last line was "you can't spell slaughter without the word laughter". Ds said the class was just deathly quiet and nobody knew what to do. The kid got hauled out of class without even being allowed to finish his "poem" which was more a blueprint for murdering his parents. He said his teacher was really shaken and upset. I do remember his mom told me once she wouldn't be surprised if he harmed them someday. He was 11 at the time.

There are times I cannot stand being the parent of a teenager. Between worrying about my own kids and praying the kids they hang out with are okay, its just plain scary. Just two days ago ds tells me two girls got in a fight, one of them had brass knuckles and shattered the other one's eye socket bone. Unbelievable. Glad I moved from the city to the suburbs to a great school district that was so much safer.

Sorry to be so negative but this kind of thing really is upsetting, esp the thing today since I knew this boy and he was in our home and ds in his many times.

Well, back to the task at hand, I did really well this week with food and exercise. We'll see how the weekend goes. This is always my big hurdle (weekends), I am determined to just count calories. Tonight we have friends over, I am test running a pasta dish I'll make on Tuesday when my cousin and his wife are here. Its cheap and right now so am I!

We did a poor man's remodel today, moved a bunch of furniture around, touch up painted the walls (ds cannot walk by a wall without scuffing it up) and I redid some of my framed photos. I sort of feel like I got a new look without spending one dime.

We are being so frugal, dh has taken to brewing his own beer to save money! Next thing you know, I'll be making my own clothes. Oh wait, I can't sew! Too bad, dd needs all new summer clothes, she has blossomed right out of everything she wore last summer. I told her we'll start shopping now but I won't be removing the tags off anythign until its time to wear them, she may have another growth spurt!

Forgot to add I didn't weigh in today. I simply didn't feel like it and I am feeling like the measure of my week is not the number on a scale but how good I feel. I am really trying to get away from this insane numbers game I play with myself all the time. Obviously the scale is a big factor in weight loss, but I just decided to take a week off. Next week for sure I do want to weigh in since I know I need that accountablity and a measure of what (hopeful) progress I make.

 

[lovinaz]

Remember me??? Trying to get caught up on your journal, I haven't been around in forever... That is horribly insensitive about what your sister wrote, but like you said - it's HER life. You have done more than a lot of people would have and hopefully one day she will realize that.

Wow, I'm at a loss for the whole school thing. That is so disturbing! Adam was always out there with his behavior, but he was never, ever violent. I can't even imagine what his parents are going through, I feel bad for them - I'm sure they have tried everything. I hope he is able to get the help he needs before he starts acting on those words.

You are doing great counting your calories! You have all the right tools, I know you'll succeed. I like your Lent sacrifice. Maybe it will stick around for long after Easter, too.

 

[eyor44]

Amy, I just can't get that kid out of my mind. I feel for that whole class and teacher. I am glad that the school acted immediately on it. Poor DS, you think you know someone. But wait.....the mom said a long time ago she wouldn't be surprized if he hurt them??????? oh WOW!!!!

You are doing great with calorie counting and walking. So what if everyone else passes you. Each person needs to find their own pace and stick with it. I'm glad it didn't bother you. You have reached a new level and I couldn't be prouder for you. You are going to make it. You have made progress already. Just remember, two steps forward, one step back. Just push forward again.

You could learn to sew. If I can, you can. Great web site called. You Can Make It. Step by step instruction. Just a couple of terms I have had to ask someone to explain. The Disboutiqers are amazing and so willing to help. But I feel your pain with DD. I took my DD shopping for summer clothes today. I haven't totaled the receipts yet.

Hope you are having a wonderful weekend. Hey, I just caught the no jacket walk.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Amy, I am so glad to see you! I hope you are here to stay for awhile, we sure have missed you! Believe me, the only thing this kid ds knows has in common with Adam is that they are both boys.

Lisa, this boy has always been one of those kids everybody knew down deep would have major issues. So I can't say I was surprised. I know a lot of their neighbors were really fearful for their kids and pets given some of the stuff that went on and things they caught him doing. His parents are the nicest couple and I know full well they have tried very hard to get him help over the years. I saw her a few months ago and she looked so weary and had really aged. No wonder.

Food this weekend has really been a challenge! Friday I was at 430 calories until our friends got here and I ate my weight in pasta, bread (with olive oil dipping sauce), four beers and two cheesecake brownies. I didn't even bother to count but I bet I came in at least 2000 calories for the day. Major derailment.

Yesterday was much better, I got out and walked. Got to the track and there were multiple soccer games going so I decided to go over to my mom's neighborhood. She lived (and stepdad still does) in a huge retirement community that is situated in a big circle around a golf course and you can walk the whole circle (2.6 miles) without ever having to stop. There are some hills but not as steep as my neighborhood. No kids on bikes and scooters to navigate around, no stop signs or streets to cross. So I did that, did the 2.6 miles in 45 minutes. Not the best pace but I was in the midst of a massive food hangover! Dh and I then took dd shopping down at the outlet mall and neither one of us ate enough lunch, then I got a migraine so we stopped at a 7-11 to buy a coke for my head and proceeded to down a bag of bugles and chex mix. Lesson learned from this one: TAKE SNACKS AMY YOU WILL BE GLAD YOU DID!!! I did drink a ton of water and basically skipped dinner.

I also got into a pair of jeans I haven't worn since the fall, they just zipped right up. The scale as of a week ago was showing almost 12 pounds, we'll see what it says this week.

As for my sister, I have not heard a word. Generally no news means Karma didn't rearrange the universe in the way she wanted it to, so I assume maybe this getting back into teaching thing may take some time and she wasn't offered a job on the spot that required an quick move! In any case, if security isn't something she desires, I can't desire it for her. It also occurred to me I kind of like having her far enough away she can't just drop by so maybe that is what gave me the heart attack more than anything!

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend.

 

[toystoryduo]

Oh my gosh, Amy! That is so absolutely scary! I hope and pray that boy gets the help he needs and fast. His poor parents must be so worried all of the time. Sending lots of prayers for them, the English teacher, your DS, and everyone involved with this young man. Very scary stuff.

Great job getting a walk in yesterday! No worries about the calories from the weekend! Today is a brand new day with new choices to be made. I know you CAN do it!!!!

Woohoo for the jeans and the 12 pounds lost!!! Keep up the good work!

Sending you a PM...Have a wonderful Monday!

 

[eyor44]

for the jeans! that is awesome! and 12 pounds! you have been busy. Keep it up girl! You are on the right track!

45 minutes for almost 3 miles is a good pace. Especially for a route that you haven't walked in a while. You are almost to marathon pace. just sayin. ........

Hopefully your sis is getting time to think about her new direction she wants to go in. What you said about you can't desire security for her, is close to what I said to April tonight about Gram. I am ready to move her as I am very concerned for her security, but she doesn't want to move.

Do you have a Foodsaver? I was having issues with snacks at work, so I bought 4 different kinds of Chex cereal, mixed them all in a big bowl and then made snack bags with the foodsaver bags. I took a bunch to work and now when I get the munchies, or for an afternoon snack, I grab one of them. Healthy cereal, crunchy and no salt. I used the foodsaver cause 4 boxes makes a lot and I thought it would keep them fresh longer. Just don't try to suck the air out of the bags. Kind of crunches the cereal up.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Lisa, I do not have a food saver but its funny you mention it because I have been thinking about getting one. I think it would save me a ton of money since I like to buy and cook in bulk.

Tracy: Haven't heard anything else about ds' classmate but I can't get him or his parents out of my mind. Life is so hard sometimes, I just keep remembering that he is a child of God and has goodness in him, I just hope somebody can help him to express that goodness.

My cousin and his wife are here from Texas! He is so special to me, he was my mom's most favorite nephew and gave the eulogy at her funeral and I must say, its more fun to have him here for a fun visit versus a funeral. We had a great dinner last night, my sister and nephew came up, then tonight it will just be us. Dan is grilling steaks. I have church so it will be a late dinner.

My food yesterday was not great but the scale was friendly enough this morning so that was good. Today has been good and I am going to go out and walk pretty quick. I'll be so glad to see them leave tomorrow but we are already making plans for us to go see them next summer. And in fact they said for us to let the kids stay with them, then Dan and I can go to San Antonio for a few days just us for anniversary. Is it July 2012 yet????

Hope its a good Wednesday for all of you!

 

[Amy&Dan]

dbl post

 

[toystoryduo]

Hope you're having a great time with your cousin and his wife!

Have a wonderful day!

 

[eyor44]

I hope you had a wonderful visit with your cousin. Family visits can be so great. How sweet of them to offer to host the kids for you. San Antonio is a great city.

Hope you have a great day tomorrow!

 

[toystoryduo]

Hope you have a wonderful weekend, WISH sis!

 

[DisDee]

Amy, congrats on the 12 lb. loss!!!!!! I hope you survived the visit from your cousins. I'm thinking "Christmas Vacation." Is his name Eddie?

Have a super week!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Ladies, I once again seem to have been a bit absent around here lately!

We did have a wonderful visit with my cousins and I did survive. I must say, I had a very hard time getting back on track with food and exercise. They were here two days but somehow one week went by with no walk, no aqua and way too much food. I had so much "good" stuff in my house (that was really bad lol) I just didn't watch what I ate. Then yesterday was better, today was perfect and I have walked two days in a row. So I got back "on" I am just mad I let myself get "off"! Oh well, that's me and I doubt I ever change.

So now its spring break, kids are home, weather today was crummy (woke up to snow but it got a bit better) and I have two months til WDW and in spite of my vow to "STOP SETTING STUPID GOALS I CAN'T MAKE THAT ONLY MAKE ME WACKO" on my walk yesterday I decided to lose 18 more pounds by June 6 so that I am at an ever 30 by WDW. What the heck, I simply cannot help but set lofty goals so why bother to say I won't? At least I am honest!

Now I really need to check in on all of you but that may have to wait since my daughter is going through facebook withdrawl and this is her computer!

 

[toystoryduo]

Way to go getting back OP, Amy!!! I knew you could do it!

I'm glad you enjoyed your visit with your cousins.

I hope you have a wonderful day!