Denise: You inspired me to go to the doctor with your story, so I am glad you saw that I did indeed go! And hey, it wasn't even that bad!
Tracey: One pound a week is the proper amount, I just want it to be more of course!
DavidsPrincess: Wow, its rare I actually inspire someone! I guess its true I haven't given up and I am proud that has inspired you to try again! We are all in this together.

Do you have a journal? I'll have to poke around!
Ahh, another thing around my house to break! This time its my new (as in less than two years) computer. Its been acting up, I have never thought it was that great and then yesterday it just went totally out. Major bummer. I spent the day looking everywhere for the receipt, I was pretty sure we got a service plan, finallly called
Best Buy, well turns out you don't need the receipt, just the phone number and yes we do have a service plan. At least I got dh's trainwreck of a desk cleaned out. We took it in, they tried a few things and then said they would have to send it off, could take 3 weeks. Thankfully, dh has an extra laptop at work nobody is using so I can use that for awhile. But everything on my old harddrive, all my pictures, email address book, a bunch of stuff in Word may all be gone. So that really stinks. In the past six months I have had to get a new washer, dryer, refrigerator, sprinkler system and now the computer thing. I hope whatever is wrong with it is covered. This has got to be the worst year on record for me and Dan with unexpected expenses.
Food yesterday and today has been very good. I did walk yesterday, haven't yet today but the day isn't over yet. Sunday, now that was a whole different story. I fell prey to some emotional eating in a big way. I think it started with a picture dh's cousin nicely sent. Problem was, it was of me and my mom last Christmas Eve. I have not yet looked at any pictures of last Christmas. She was so close to death, in such pain and misery and we all knew it was coming so I myself took a couple of pictures of the kids Christmas morning and that was it. Stepdad took some of my mom, when he gave them to me, I didn't even look at them, I just tossed them. Dh said they were awful. So anyway, when I got this picture, seeing her like that brought back some very painful memories and just to be my self centered self, I also used this as a way to concentrate on how awful
I looked as well! There is nothing worse than a picture taken when you don't know its about to be taken and you look like a total mess to boot. It makes me sad that the last pictures of me and my mom are so horrible. This whole thing started a bit of a pity party. I sat around all day (Sunday) feeling sorry for myself. Both my parents are dead. My brother and sister don't speak to each other. My little family that used to be happily flawed but still together, is now gone. The holidays are coming up and that part of my family history is now gone. Thankfully of course I have Dan and the kids and dh's aunt and cousin. And I have my brother and sister, just not together at the same time. Its hard to believe we may never all eat a meal, celebrate a holiday or family event, together the three of us again. I keep up my hopes but knowing them both, I don't feel all that optimistic.
So long story short, a picture emailed to me sent me to the frig and I pretty much ate whatever didn't eat me first. Thankfully, I got back on track yesterday but no idea what that episode will do at weigh in tomorrow. I was basically out of flex points. Oh well, life goes on! And one good note, since the computer hard drive may be dead, that picture may never have to be seen by me again! Something good does indeed come from everything.
Dd got her new $6,800 "device" on her bottom teeth today. Poor kid has these now bulging cheeks since this thing is huge. And she talks like she has a mouth full of marbles, hope that passes. And she can't eat ice cream for the next two years or have a popsicle or slushy. Poor kid. That smile will be worth it though! They had me sign a new agreement, apparently I was still under the old one, the one that said braces set #2 would be $2,800 not $4,000 more than that! I wonder if I had been a pill, if they would have had to honor that old amount? Lucky for them I am very honest. And now very broke. Lucky for my orthodontist, he can now pay his Mercedes payment another month!
I will post my weigh in results tomorrow come rain or shine. I am determined not to miss meetings even when I know there is a good chance the scale will nail me!