Amy's Journal: Comments Welcome!

[Amy&Dan]

Anna, I am so happy to "see" you!! I have really missed seeing you around here! I hear you on the job thing.


I am trying to really examine my feelings about working. Dh and I talked at length about the whole thing last night. There are lots of pros and cons to me working part time. I don't want to be swayed by things that don't matter (like what other people think, its about us not them) and also I think I am feeling scared to interview because of the weight thing. I really think I'll just take one day at a time, keep my eyes open and maybe fill out a few applications in the next month or so after I see about the kids schedules and what they are going to get involved in. Dh did say maybe waiting until after Christmas makes sense since we have a vacation coming up. Lord knows putting off til tomorrow what I can do today is not something I am adverse to!

I am also feeling better about dd's braces. I think I was just thrown for a whole loop that this whole orthodontal procedure was happening in four days vs six or seven months and that the cost was more than doubled. Of course dh fessed up that when he took dd for her last consult in December, back when my mom was so sick and I was basically living over at her house, they mentioned a lot of this and he sort of forgot to tell me! Oh well, I just want dd to have that beautiful smile her mom is lacking!

I did get the kids all checked in yesterday, picked up schedules. Ds got into the AVID program which is a great program for college bound kids who sometimes lack good organizational skills. I am thrilled! We missed last year's application process since he came in last quarter but they just put him in anyway. I love that school. And dd met one of her Core teachers who will be giving her some of the extra help with language arts and reading. I think it will be a great fit. He's very young, very funny and he looks like he's a kid himself. I feel really good about this year for both kids. As we walked in some cute girl immediately yelled hi to ds, which was nice.

I weighed this morning (at home) and was sad to see I was up five pounds. Clearly too much salt and some hormone issues are really making the water issue a problem. I just intend to do well today, drink plenty of water and still weigh tomorrow at WW. Sometimes when I have done this (bloated up), I can still do well onfood but gain but then the following week have a great big loss. So maybe that will happen. I just have to not let a number on the scale derail me or cause me to give up.

I did well at dinner last night btw and did walk on the treadmill yesterday. I stayed well within points yesterday. I am also going to go back down to 28 points a day. For years that is what WW assigned for my weight range and they recently changed things. Under the new way of figuring I get 31. Tha'ts 21 extra points a week. Since I rejoined I haven't lost one pound under this new deal, so I think I'll go back to the old way. Mostly I know I haven't lost because of not staying on program but then again, I have had some good weeks where I stayed in points and didn't lose. Makes me wonder.

Food today:
Breakfast: Slim Fast: 3
Lunch: Lean Cuisine: 8, parm cheese, 3, WW snack, 1
Snack: Fiber One Bar: 2
Total thus far: 17

 

[toystoryduo]

I really think I'll just take one day at a time, keep my eyes open and maybe fill out a few applications in the next month or so after I see about the kids schedules and what they are going to get involved in.

One day at a time.....I like that, Amy!! Sounds like a great plan to me.

I hope you have a wonderful evening, WISH sis.

 

[lovinaz]

There must be something in the air - yesterday I woke up and was 2lbs heavier than the day before, this morning ANOTHER 2lbs appeared out of nowhere! So, like your 5lbs overnight, eventually it will come off on its own, it's just frustrating, isn't it? Especially right before your WI. But what can you do?!?!

I think you might be on to something with your points. Maybe you should ask your WW leader about it.

I'm glad you've come to terms about DD's braces. It is shocking to the pocketbook, and they do have all kinds of medieval looking devices nowadays! But if it makes you feel any better, my DS said that about 90% of the kids in 7th grade have braces, and DD9 said there were several in her class with them too. So your DD will be one of many. And it is so worth the investment in the long run. It's easier to shift the teeth around now instead of waiting until they are adults!

Sounds like the kids are going to do great this year at the new school.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Amy. Sorry a few pounds found thier way onto your scale too!

Tracy: One day at a time is about all I can handle at this point! My mom lived by that mantra and it served her well, I need to do the same.

Mystery solved! TOM arrived today, since my cycle varies from three weeks to four months, I never know if bloating and salt cravings are related to this or just life in general. This latest deal (love sharing my personal info on the internet just as I know you all love hearing about it ) will make today's weigh in less than magical. But next week's should be much better. At least I know what the culprit is for the most part.

I am just concentrating on having a very solid week on the food front. I'll post weigh in results and food later, thanks for reading and all the encouragement!

 

[CACruisin']

Don't you just love being a woman in her 40's . Go away TOM!

I'm glad the kids are all set in school. It sounds like it will be a good year for both of them. We have an AVID program here and I think it is really good.

DH has a good point about waiting until at least after the vacation before starting work. The kids are in a new school. You have a vacation. You have had to deal with a lot this year. Give yourself some time for you this fall. Eating right, exercising, and just having some time to do what YOU want to do.

You may have something about the WW points. Definitely talk to your leader about it.

I've missed my WISH friends too. I'm trying to make time to get back into it.
Anna

 

[postesf]

Hi Amy! Just checking in! I'm so glad this school year looks good. I know last year was such a struggle. New school and all is looking up! Yay! I'm also glad to hear you've come to terms w/ the braces issues. What shock to have heard double the price! Oh my! In the end it will all be worth though.

Stay strong!

Stacie

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Anna, I hope you can find time, we miss you! But I know you are busy. Yeah, 43 and still haven't figured out my own cycle. I get excited thinking TOM is a thing of the past and then it comes back again!

Stacie: Once the shock wore off I just decided to concentrate on that gorgeous smile dd will have. And that gorgeous income my orthodontist clearly must have!

Weigh in was just as expected. I was up .02. I can live with that. I know what caused it primarily. But I also need to watch points, sodium and exercise a bit more. I only got in two days of exercise this week. Not enough. I am glad I went, it was all about "can you see your goal" and what we need to do to make long and short term goals happen. I did talk to the longtime member/employee who weighed me about the points. She told me lots of people are noticing their weight losses have been affected by having more points under the new system. She told me to go back to 28 and just make sure that I take at least some of my flex points. Fat chance I won't! If flex points were credit cards, I'd be maxed and past due every week.

So here are my goals. I am not one to always make my goals but I find myself needing to set them. The leader said to set those goals but to amend them as need be and not be a slave to them. So here goes:

Short term this week: Journal food each day, watch sodium and exercise three times.

Longer term goal: Lose 15 pounds in the next 9 weeks. We leave for WDW 9 weeks from today. I want that scale to say 225 by the time we leave. Its a hefty goal. But I am a hefty gal and I need to do this!

Final goal: To be at goal weight of 150 by October 18, 2009. That is the week before I leave for the cruise. That gives me a solid 14 months to lose 90 pounds. Again, that's a very hefty goal, I may have to amend. But I want to be as close to goal as possible. I know I can do it if I will allow myself to put this first in my life and be successful. I never have managed to do that but then again, that doesn't mean I can't this time.

Food for today:
Breakfast: Slim Fast (3) 1 TB peanut butter (2)
Lunch: Salad w/ 4 oz of turkey (4), 2TB Dressing (3), 1/2 cup garbanzo beans (2)
Snacks: 2 WW treats (2)
Total: 16
I have 12 points to go. We are having dinner with stepdad tonight, having dinner at my mom's favorite steakhouse. This place serves rolls and peanuts in the shell so I have to be very careful. I have tried to fill up with lots of protein today and as of now (90 minutes before dinner) I am still very full from lunch. I plan to have a six oz top sirloin (7) and a baked potato (4) with one tablespoon butter (3). That's 14 points but I am okay with using two flex points. I will post later if I make my dinner goal tonight!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Well, dinner last night was not quite as lo cal as I had hoped. We arrived at this place at 5:00 sharp and it was packed! We literally got the last table and the service was so slow. They plunked down the rolls and peanuts and then nobody showed up to take our order for about 15 minutes. After that we waited over a half hour for our salads and I was starving. So I started in on the peanuts. I also had 1/4 of a roll. I consulted my handy dandy food guide and 40 nuts (1 oz) is 4 points. The roll I am going to count as 1 point and the butter, cheese and bacon bits that they put on my potato in spite of my telling them to bring it to me plain I have to count as another 6 points (I scraped off all but about one tablespoon of butter, but of course ate the cheese and bacon bits).

So I will amend my dinner to
Steak: 7
Potato: 3
Potato toppings: 6
Roll: 1
Peanuts: 4
Salad: 3
Total: 24
Total for Wednesday: 40

Eating out is killer. I tried to be good but its not easy. So I have used 12 Flex Points at this point. Oh well, that's what they are for, but I was hoping to save them all for the weekend. Oh well.

Today:
Slim Fast: 3
corn tortilla: 2
Lean Cuisine: 8
WW Snack: 1
Total so far: 14
Points left: 14

I have Alz. Support group tonight, I need to steer clear of the peanut m & m's our group leader always brings. I still go, I love the people and its good support in my life still, and I still want to support my friends. But I wish to high heaven they would lay off the m & m's! I am going to take a big jug of my favorite herbal tea and chew gum. I have pasta w/marinara planned for dinner. So I should be fine today.

Thanks for reading!

 

[lovinaz]

Sounds like you have a good plan for tonight! I hear ya on the eating out thing, it's rough! But at least you consulted your points guide and didn't just say screw it and go off the deep end! You are right - that's what flex points are for.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Amy, I survived group and didn't have one m & m or peanut! I just drank my herbal tea and wasn't even tempted.

Dinner:
Taco salad: 10
Taco: 4

I had a big, filling dinner as well which really helped.

I did however use up one more flex point. I forgot I had two tangerines earlier which counts as one point.

Good news, I had one fruit and four veggies today so I got my five servings total in. And I walked! 45 Minutes at the rec center, and it felt really good. I wanted to do 60 minutes but ran out of time, I had to pick up dd at school. She had orientation today and ended up really liking her school and teachers. She also saw a little girl she knew from girl scouts a few years back who is also open enrolled and therefore doesn't really know anybody. I am hoping they can reconnect and be friends, she was sweet kid.

So I have now used a total of 13 Flex Points. I am okay with that, I still have 22 left for the weekend.

I doubt I'll get back to the rec center before Monday, dd gets her braces on tomorrow and then I am taking the kids to the pool. Due to TOM, I can't see myself swimmiing. Maybe a treadmill walk over the weekend. If not, school starts on Monday and I hope to really get back into a routine at the rec center.

Thanks for reading!

 

[toystoryduo]

You're doing a good job, Amy! Keep up the good work!

I like how you are setting short term and long term goals and that they are negotiable. Great job!

I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

 

[CACruisin']

Great job resisting the M&M's Sounds like yesterday was definitely one for the "good" category: resisting candy, exercising, and healthy eating

It sounds like the new school is really going to be great for both kids. That will relieve a lot of stress for you and the whole family.

DD5 started K this week . In my attempt to get healthy again, I've been putting my sweats on first thing in the morning and then going for a walk right after I drop her off. So far so good.

Have a nice, low key weekend with your family and good luck with the first day of school on Monday!

Anna

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Anna and Tracy. Anna, I can't believe dd is 5! That doesn't seem possible.

Tracy: My goals need to be negotiable, since my track record isn't the best with keeping firm goals! I am just going to do the best I can!

I did well on food yesterday until last night. To recap, dd got her braces on. The ortho gave her a Sonic card so we had lunch in there afterwards. I had a small cheeseburger and some chicken nuggets. DD got the nuggets but then decided she couldn't eat them all, since they hurt her teeth. So she had a shake and not much else! I of course being a human garbage disposal ate the three remaining nuggets. The rest of the day I had nothing but a ff/sf yougurt. Then dd headed to a friends house to sleepover and ds was set to go to my stepdad's for a grandson/grandpa night. The problem with that one was my idiot stepdad, and I am a bit peeved at him. Rather than spend time doing anything with ds, he sat glued to the tv all night. His son was at some democratic convention thing, it was televised on PBS and stepdad of course had to watch it hoping to get a glimpse of his son. Now ds, was not sure he wanted to do a sleepover anyway. He is of the age when going over to grandpa's isn't quite as fun as it used to be and he really has a hard time over there since he misses his grammy so much. I had talked with stepdad about this and thought they were going to watch a movie together and maybe go for a nice walk to the nature preserve but no dice. Ds was upset because he knows full well stepdad's moronic son treated my mom like dirt and then turned his guns on me and the rest of the family as soon as my mom was dead and gone. I understand that stepdad wants to see his son on tv but I wish he would have just told me that night wasn't a good night for ds to come over. It wasn't much fun for ds to sit and watch some political forum on PBS for two hours while stepdad (who is blind as a bat) sat two inches from the tv trying to spot his son. The kids will not be returning over there for sleepovers again. I think stepdad at 84 is beyond doing that anymore and clearly doesn't have the sensistivity he used to have. I felt so bad for ds. The whole thing just heightened his missing my mom and feeling firsthand how things have really changed since she died. At least they did go for a walk this morning. In all, even if my mom was alive, at almost 14, I am not sure going for a sleepover at the grandparent's house is something ds would be dying to do. He's just in that in between stage of life. Not a little kid but not all grownup either!

I feel really guilty, I sort of pushed ds into this because I wanted to have a night alone with Dan! Now that the kids are too old for a sitter but a bit young to stay home for a late evening, we seldom go out the two of us. This seemed like an okay solution but really it wasn't. I apologized to ds, I think he felt like we just pawned him off. Which we sort of did. In any case, I told Dan today that he and I should start going out to lunch on Saturday once a month for a date day. The kids are fine to be home during the day so being gone for a few hours to have lunch and see a movie would work out just fine.

In any case, since dh and I had a night alone, we ended up going over to some friends house for an adult night and had a few drinks and some appetizers. I had three very light rum and diets and some chips and salsa, some queso and two little jalepeno puffs my friend made, plus half of an eggroll. Then I pushed the water and popped some gum in my mouth to stop myself from eating more! I didn't calculate exactly since I wasn't weighing and counting, so I am just goint to assume I have used the rest of my flex points. I did have something like 14 regular points left plus my remaining flex points so I thinkas I long as I stay on track, I will be okay overall for the week. So I have been very disciplined today.

We also had to cancel our cruise. I am okay with it, I just can't justify spending that money given this huge orthodontal bill dd has. I feel bad, we told the kids we can't go because their dad can't get the time off. I didn't want them to make the correlation of dd's braces and cruises. Really and truly, with the state of the economy, we don't need to take that expensive of a vacation. We are still going to do WDW in June as we always do, use our DVC points and our AP's will still be good. We already have airfare for that (booked early to use my last United ff miles) so that trip will be pretty economical. I wasn't even sad, it seems like a stupid thing to be sad over, we travel a lot more than most people and frankly, with the state of the world, this isn't exactly a biggie! Its sort of a relief to be honest.

I hope everyone is having a nice weekend and thanks for reading!

 

[goldcupmom]

You did really good, Amy! I hear you about the cruise. Tough decision in some ways, but easy in others, I'm sure. At least you still have WDW to look forward to!

I totally understand your frustration & DSs. Staying at Grandpa's isn't what it used to be and as they get older it's even harder to convince them they should. Especially under those circumstances.

Sounds like you're having a good weekend. I just heard Denver is getting some storms. Hopefully you're not too bad off!!

 

[lovinaz]

Bummer about the cruise, but you can always schedule another one after your orthodontist comes back from the 6th one you financed for him... Your kids will have a lifelong benefit from this temporary sacrifice, and I'm sure you will be able to swing the cruise some other time!

That is tough about DS and stepdad, hopefully DS realizes that stepdad means well, but obviously doesn't understand how to hang out with a teenager... (who really does, besides other teenagers?!? )

 

[Amy&Dan]

Yes Amy, it did occur to me that my orthodontist is probably going to have a nice vacation somewhere in the midst of my payments to him!


Today was very good with food. I stayed right on target. I didn't exercise at all this weekend so I need to make sure I get that in tomorrow and Tuesday to make my 3x per week goal. In all, I am okay with the weekend. I had some bumps, I ate way too many chips and dip last night (had friends over after church and she brought over some serious junk which I sent home with her!) but I drank a lot of herbal tea and water to attempt to flush out my hormones and bloating. This weekend is a vast improvement over previous ones! I am ready to start the new week. The kids start school tomorrow which is good and bad. Time for a new year with new possibilities!

So in keeping with my honest approach to my weight issue I am going to post some recent pics of myself. These will be my before pictures, both of them are with Dan:

Obviously as you can all see, I have some work to do! At least they are at WDW, if I must post fat pictures, let them be in my happy place!

I hope to post pics in 20 pound increments. I have also just been talking in the postive sense with my weight. Not "if" I lose the weight but rather "when" and "right now as I lose weight".

Thanks for reading, I need to check journals and see how everyone else is doing but I may need to do that tomorrow, its late! Heck, its now Monday morning for that matter.

 

[lovinaz]

Love the pix!!! And you are so right - it is always better to say "when" and not "if". That way your mind knows that it is for sure going to happen! Another motivational thing I read somewhere is to repeat your goals as if they've already happened (like "I'm so proud I stuck with my points all week"). Yet another mental trick. Great job on the weekend, see, you actually behaved and lived to tell about it!

Wow, my kids are starting their 3rd week of school today! I wonder why your school didn't just wait until after Labor Day?!??!

 

[DisDee]

Amy, I'm glad you posted your pictures. It's so nice to put a face with a name! I've tried to a couple of times, but I'm techno-impaired, so I may just give our Smugmug address.

Hang in there and take it one day at a time, and above all, be positive!!!!

 

[traceycooper]

Hi Amy
I love the pics
The price of health care in the US is such a shock to me!! We had to take DD to the Dr's while we were out their... $400 to visit & for antibiotics!!!!
Sorry you had to cancel the cruise!
you seem to be doing great with your new plan, keep it up even though i think you look great on the pics
I had a mai tai for you at petals

 

[toystoryduo]

Hi Amy,

Great pictures! It's nice to "see" you!

You have a great plan in place and it sounds like you are taking things one day at a time. Keep up the good work, WISH sis!

I hope you have a great day ahead!