Amy's Journal: Comments Welcome!

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Beth and Tracy.

I haven't WISHED in a few days, I get on the dis and start looking at the parks boards and get sidetracked! Our trip to WDW is in 22 days, can't wait. The mystery of the tight clothes is solved, TOM arrived like a freight train high on hormones last night. All day I felt miserable, didn't go to Curves I was in so much agony. I did eat well all day, and had a nice big salad tonight. I am starting to feel better, my plan is to Curves tomorrow and Saturday with a walk on Friday. Bad news is that I will have the Curse of the Womb at WDW. Major bummer. I miss the menopause my doctor said I was going through. Apparently not!

Beth, I do feel more centered, I have just had to get in a better place mentally the last couple of weeks. I feel like I may get back in the groove of losing weight again which would be a welcome change!

Tracy: Thanks for stopping by as always! Glad you are feeling better.

Stacie: My new washer is my new best friend! And I no longer have to listen to my old machine make sounds like a semi truck in my laundry room!

Tracey: I am excited for the Royal Pacific, but can only go if I can save the money! Wish me luck!

Amy: I knew you were in Germany, hope it was a good trip, I am sure it is so good to be home! Thanks for the well wishes, and you are right, I have to look at more than the scale! Welcome home!

 

[MIdanceMom]

Gentle Amy,

Well, you've solved the great mystery of the tight jeans. It stinks to be female. I hope you feel better soon. Don't worry about not making it to Curves. You held together your eating. That is a MAJOR accomplishment during TOM.

Just keep thinking about WDW. Maybe you'll skip next cycle.

Take care,
Beth

 

[traceycooper]

Amy - you have to save that money for RPR - i need the review
wow you get to visit Oct, Jan & June you lucky lady
Hope TOM goes away quickly & painlessly
Well done for making healthy options!! Easpecially during TOM i crave comfort food like crazy!!! Then again lately i crave comfort food all the time!!!

 

[postesf]

Hey there Amy! Just checking in. Sorry to hear you were feeling yucky!

Hope you're feeling better now! So glad you love your new washer! Mine sounds like a space shuttle taking off when it starts spinning! haha

Take care!!!
Stacie

 

[toystoryduo]

Don't you think TOM would have gotten a clue by now and realized that he needs to be a little nicer and gentler on the ladies? I hope you're feeling better soon.

Have a great weekend!

 

[lovinaz]

You are doing great!!! It sounds like you have a really upbeat attitude right now, and that is carrying over to your food and exercise choices too. You should know by now that suddenly tight pants = TOM woes. I've finally stopped getting mad about it, since there is NOTHING I can do about it!!

How is precious Daisy? Just when I think Buckley is finally becoming an asset to dog society, he chews something else up... We got him a Yoda costume for Halloween but it was too big (plus he kept trying to eat the arms) so I am going to exchange it for a Jack Sparrow costume! Poor dog, and I wonder why he chews everything up...

 

[Amy&Dan]

How is precious Daisy? Just when I think Buckley is finally becoming an asset to dog society, he chews something else up... We got him a Yoda costume for Halloween but it was too big (plus he kept trying to eat the arms) so I am going to exchange it for a Jack Sparrow costume! Poor dog, and I wonder why he chews everything up...

For years I wore nothing but elasticized waistbands, heck I didn't even have to buy maternity clothes because all I wore was oversized crappy sweats! Now that I buy more normal clothes, they do actually get tight at TOM! Esp., since I am up 10 pounds since I bought these sizes in the early spring ! Daisy is great, she will be one on Monday! She is so sweet and so good, compared to Benjamin (God rest his naughty little soul) she is a piece of cake. Get a beagle princess next time, not a prince!

Today was okay, I had Chick Fil A. Fried chicken sandwich and waffle fries, but I am having veggie soup tonight for dinner. I have had a splitting headache all day, another joy of TOM! I am going to Curves tomorrow, only got one lousy walk in all week. I have to do better with this next week. I took my mom shopping, she was so tired I was wishing I could rent the poor thing a stroller. I am really trying to stay positive, I can tell she is starting to slip back to her old ways, she now hates the nurse again, but too bad!

We have a party tomorrow night, I sort of don't want to go, I am feeling fat and don't need the temptations of food and drink. But I am sure we will have fun. I also must add I did awful on food last night, I ate four rolls with butter. No idea what that was about, I ended up throwing the leftovers out, I was a maniac with my bread. Had my parents over for dinner so I made the comfort food they (and apparently I) love so much.

My goal for next week is to have two walks plus three Curves sessions for exercise and eat well 6 of the 7 days. I think a free day is a good thing as long as its one day!

Hope everyone has a nice weekend!

Tracy! TOM can simply never be nice I think. You'd think after 28 years of dealing with this, I would get a handle on it, but I just will never get used to the idea of having 5-10 days a month of misery due to reprouctive organs I don't need anymore!

 

[MIdanceMom]

Amy,

I am sorryt hat the last few days have been so tough on you. TOM is a nasty evil individual. Don't stress about the rolls. Just take it a day at a time.

Have a good weekend,
Beth

 

[traceycooper]

Hi Amy
have fun at the party tonight
Next week TOM will be gone & you will be feeling your young self again

 

[toystoryduo]

Your goals for next week look good, Amy. You CAN do it!

Have a great time at the party tonight.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Hi everyone. I had a lousy weekend with food. Friday night I ended up having Burger King the same day I had Chick Fil A. I cannot remember the last time I had fast food twice in the same day. Then Saturday I went to Curves and did very well on food all day. Then went to the party and there was so much good food it was hard to do well. I tried to just take very small portions and didn't go for any seconds. I made dh finish my plate. I also nibbled on a small piece of cake and scraped off the icing. But I had several cocktails. I almost didn't even go to this party. I wasn't in the mood, I got a very lousy haircut on Saturday afternoon (think scalping technique) and was so upset and feeling so fat and ugly I just couldn't face it. But I knew how much dh wanted to go and I do love my friend so didnt' want to bag her birthday. But I was pretty miserable all night and left early (dh got a ride home with friends). I just had to get out of there, I was near tears, feeling very self conscious and uncomfortable. Yesterday was much better with food but did have some pumpkin praline dessert I made. Dh's favorite, he asked if I could make it, he NEVER asks for baked goods. I cut down on the butter and sugar and put it into two separate pans so I could freeze one. But still, I didn't need dessert. So not a good weekend with food. I just cannot seem to make it happen. The only good news is that on Saturday I stepped on the scale and was down three pounds. I doubt I still am after the weekend however!

I just hate myself these days. I worked today (subbing), had my little daycare boy this afternoon, cooke dinner and then had to go to Sams tonight to load up on stuff for the school fundraising dinner I am in charge of. I get to make tacos for 125 people, that should be interesting! So I had no time to exercise (although I unloaded the car to the tune of about 10 times), I just finished doing homework with dd and I am too exhausted. But I plan to Curves tomorrow.

I think my hair, my lack of good eating and just the way I feel about me in general is doing a number on how I feel about all of life. I saw myself on the Sams security camera and frankly I look like a whale. What is wrong with me? Anything in life I don't like, I genrally change. Except this weight thing. I just really need to evaluate my plan of action as soon as I get back from WDW and think about what it is I need to do to be successful with this.

I am sorry to be so down all the time! I feel like a real negative person and actually I am not. I just hate this aspect of my life and hate myself for not doing what needs to be done.

I am hoping a good day tomorrow will put me back on the road to a bit more positve outlook!

 

[postesf]

Ah, Amy... Sorry you are feeling so down right now. It seems sometimes we get in a rut and it's hard to climb out--especially when it comes to weight. It's like a vicious ciricle. You look at yourself in the mirror, you don't like what you see, but instead of getting motivated to change it, you feel down and sad and go grab some chips or something sweet to make yourself feel better. I've tried and failed, tried and failed and then it's like one day it just hit me. You can do this. I will be honest though, if I had not set the goal of completing the 5K, I can guarantee there are days I would not workout. I think since my focus is now on training for this and not losing weight (although that is the whole reason I made the goal) it's made it easier to not focus on it so much and not to feel so bad. I know it's difficult. The mind is a powerful thing. Once you are determined, you can do it!!! Chin up chick! You can do this thing!!!

Hope you are in better spirits soon!
Stacie

 

[toystoryduo]

Oh Amy,

I understand how you feel. Like Stacie said, sometimes we find ourselves in a rut that is difficult to get out of. You have a Disney trip coming up in a few weeks. Focus on that for now. While you're there, maybe take some quiet time just for you to set a goal or goals for when you get back.

You are a wonderful person, Amy. God loves you the way you are and so do we. Take each day as it comes and know that your WISH family is cheering you on to VICTORY.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thank you so much Stacie and Tracy.

Today was much better. I gave my hair a deep conditioning treatment which seemed to help a bit. I also weighed again and am still down my 3 pounds plus one more. So four pounds since my last weigh in which I think was three weeks ago.

I didn't get to Curves. Big bummer. I got to school this morning to drop off some stuff for the fundraiser and the kitchen was such a mess! This kitchen is used by a church, a school, a preschool and an after school care program and apparently nobody who uses it cleans it. Really gross with bugs even! So I spent two hours cleaning it and getting organzied then noticed a few people hadn't brought in their donated items. So I headed to the store to get those things and of course by this time, Curves was about to close. So I came home, treadmilled for 20 minutes then it was time to clean up the house and head to school to cook. We had almost 200 people, me and two other moms did the cooking, set up and clean up. I am beat! 6 hours on my feet with no break. I will never work in fast food I can tell you that much!

I am off to Curves tomorrow no matter what. I feel so relieved this dinner is over, dd's class is next month but another mom is in charge of that one thank goodness. We did raise over $300 but honestly we spent way more than that for the food. Frankly, next time I would rather write a check!

I am feeling more hopeful, I know I can do this. I am not a dummy, I just need to be smart and get this accomplished once and for all. We leave in just a bit over two weeks, I am hopefuly I can take off five pounds by then. I won't have made my 35 pound goal but maybe I can come in at close to thirty.

 

[toystoryduo]

Amy,

I'm glad that you are feeling better WISH sis. That's great that you are down 4 pounds!

How did taco making go? That's a lot of tacos to make!

I hope you have a wonderful Wednesday! How many days till WDW?

 

[MIdanceMom]

Amy,

Wow, that fundraiser sounds like a ton of work. You are a great Mom, Amy.

Congrats on the 4 pounds. That is awesome. Please try not to be so hard on yourself. I think this time of year is really the hardest of all. We are still not completely into a school schedule, and our bodies are not adjusted to the decrease in sunlight. It wears us down.

Just keep thinking about WDW.

Take care,
Beth

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Beth and Tracy.

That fundraiser is a lot of work but so worth it. Its a great way for families to meet and talk and since the kids participate in the whole process its good experience for them too. I did get to meet a very nice mom (whose daughter my son is madly in love with) and after making and serving tacos for five hours we felt very bonded!

I am pretty happy with my four pounds. Its been awhile since I have had much in the way of a weight loss. I didnt' Curves today, frankly I am still tired and need to catch up on stuff around here. I am also waiting for Fed Ex to deliver my Rockie's playoff tickets for dh to take ds to next week. $200 worth of tickets, I don't want them to leave them so I need to be here when they are delivered if at all possible. Sadly, these crappy seats normally go for $5 each, being in the playoffs has obviously driven up the price! But ds only turns 13 once so I bit the bullet.

I have already gotten my walk in so that's good. I'll Curves tomorrow and Saturday, that will give me two times with that and at least two walks thus far this week. So I can live with that.

Food today thus far:
1 cup of grape juice (I buy that for the kids and sometimes I have a glass myself, need to avoid juice I guess)
1 cup of Kashi with one cup skim.

I plan on having a Lean Cuisine for lunch and a salad for dinner tonight at Rumbi Grill.

Beth, I am feeling better. I do know I am too hard on myself. But having been overweight since I was 10 and having spent 32 years now listening to others critique my weight has made me join in on the fun I guess. I'll never forget on my own wedding day being told it was too bad I hadn't lost the weight. Of course I was size 14 then, I should be so lucky now! The good news is that dh loves me just as I am (and thought I was a very pretty bride I might add) so who cares? I just don't know how to think of myself as anything but fat and unattractive. What else have I ever been? Maybe that's why I don't lose the weight, I am afraid of change? I certainly do hate things to change so maybe this is just an extension of that. That may be right on with the lack of daylight. I am so tired lately, and no idea why. I am postively dragging. I also get worn down this time of year with the upcoming holidays, just thinking about that makes me tired! And hungry...

In any case, I do feel better, that four pound loss really boosted my spirits. And I am so excited for WDW, I hope dh doesn't have to work much while we are there (maybe somebody will steal his computer out of our room ). I can't believe our trip is so close!

Tracy: 15 days to WDW and counting! I think I am most excited for Epcot this time, can you relate?

 

[lovinaz]

We are always our own worst critics, aren't we? A couple months ago DH and I were talking and I asked him if I had any bad habits that he couldn't stand and after thinking about it for a little bit, he said he hates it when I am mean to myself about my weight. I bet your DH would say the same thing! That really put things in perspective for me and now when I catch myself berating myself, I make an effort to stop it. So don't let it get you down, you are more than a number on the scale (even if it's 4 lbs less, yippee!! )

Do you want a beau for Daisy? Buckley has been a NAUGHTY boy the past couple days and I swear I am ready to send him to your house. He actually opened DH's suitcase (which was unzipped, but closed) and ate 3 whole packs of gum! At least it was sugar-free, so he won't get cavities... And last night, he jumped onto the nightstand and ate all of DH's chocolate covered biscuits (cookies) that I brought back from Germany! They had been sitting there for almost 2 weeks and he hadn't touched them until yesterday.

You are doing great, how nice of you to do that fundraiser, sounds like a ton of work! I bet you are getting excited for your trip, I have to wait until Dec 26... And as far as I know the kids still don't know about it, but it's getting increasingly harder to keep it a secret!

 

[postesf]

Hey Amy!

Try not to beat yourself up about your weight. I know it's tough. I feel like I've been trying to lose weight all my life! DH loves you the way you are and that is all that matters.

The 4lbs is awesome!!! Congrats!!! Keep up the good work girl! You can do it!!!

Stacie

 

[toystoryduo]

Tracy: 15 days to WDW and counting! I think I am most excited for Epcot this time, can you relate?

Yep, I can relate! Epcot is my favorite park!

I'm glad that the fundraiser went well. What a blessing your hard work is to the school!

Hope you have a great weekend!