Amy's Journal: Comments Welcome!

[MIdanceMom]

Hi Amy,

I have a philosophy with WW. There are just times when I cannot focus on my eating and exercise. I have a life, and my diet/lifestyle cannot always be at the forefront 24/7. Sometimes, I need a night out for beer and wings. Even if I don't have points for them. I call those weeks my "bend but don't break." I may bend the rule, I may even gain, but I am back on track the next day. As long as you don't go off program for good, you'll be fine.

for DD. With her being in a split class, no one but the teacher will ever know. With your support, she will be fine.


Beth

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Beth, Tracey and Tracy. Welcome home Tracy, gotta check out your journal and see how WDW was!

This weekend had its ups and downs with food. My best friend from fifth grade (as in 30 years ago) and I have hooked up online the last few months. She and her kids came over on Satuday. It was so good to see her! She had moved away when we were in sixth and though we kept writing letters for a couple of years we eventually lost touch. But she moved back awhile ago and I must say it didn't feel like 30 years had passed. So on Satuday we just sat outside for hours talking, I had a beer (only one) and a few snacks. Then I had nachos for dinner. Yesterday was much better. However, I didn't exercise all weekend and I didn't make my exercise challenge. I woke up this morning with a very heavy heart. I started doing Weight Watchers in January of 2006. I have lost under 25 pounds. At one point I was down 33 pounds. Basically what I have done is that the first six months went great, since then I have yo-yo'd, gained, lost focus and spent over $500 doing this. This is not the first time I have joined WW. I think its probably the best food, weight loss program out there (I have tried them all it would seem) but for whatever reason this is not working right now. End result? I feel guilty all the time, weigh in day feels like D-Day and I am not having any success. I cancelled my monthly subscription this morning as they are due to charge my cc card in about 10 days and I don't want to pay if its not doing me any good. Because the other thing I stress about constantly is money.

I may look into doing the pay as you go route, I beleive they have that option, its more per week but you don't pay for missed weeks. Or I may just bag this for awhile and see what happens. I may also throw away my own scale, this thing of weighing every day, on a scale that isn't consistent or accurate is also making me weirded out and not helping at all. Curves has a scale, perhaps I need to weigh once or twice a month there only.

I just feel so sad. One year ago (I looked back through my book) I weighed almost exactly the same. I am so sick of this roller coaster with my weight. And I am sick of spending the money only to fail each week.

Sometimes we have rough patches in life and I am clearly going through one. Somedays I feel a bit like poor Charlie Brown, the person who just can't seem to be a winner! And my damn washing machine is not working which is quite possibly the last thing I need right now!

Maybe I need to just focus on getting through some of these issues with my mom, going to Curves and eating properly. Another thing, its really devastating to me at WW when I see people getting their awards, knowing I am a long way to get one since I have to lose over 12 pounds to get the next one. Since I already got the two stars before that (25 and 30) and then proceeded to gain weight. Its all just really frustrating and depressing and frankly I don't need that right now.

Maybe this will help. If not, then I vowing to go back, I cannot afford to gain what little I have kept off thats for sure!

Thanks for reading, its a new week and that almost makes Monday a very good day for me!

 

[goldcupmom]

I woke up this morning with a very heavy heart. I started doing Weight Watchers in January of 2006. I have lost under 25 pounds. At one point I was down 33 pounds. Basically what I have done is that the first six months went great, since then I have yo-yo'd, gained, lost focus and spent over $500 doing this. This is not the first time I have joined WW. I think its probably the best food, weight loss program out there (I have tried them all it would seem) but for whatever reason this is not working right now. End result? I feel guilty all the time, weigh in day feels like D-Day and I am not having any success. I cancelled my monthly subscription this morning as they are due to charge my cc card in about 10 days and I don't want to pay if its not doing me any good. Because the other thing I stress about constantly is money.

I just feel so sad. One year ago (I looked back through my book) I weighed almost exactly the same. I am so sick of this roller coaster with my weight. And I am sick of spending the money only to fail each week.

Sometimes we have rough patches in life and I am clearly going through one. Somedays I feel a bit like poor Charlie Brown, the person who just can't seem to be a winner! And my damn washing machine is not working which is quite possibly the last thing I need right now!

Thanks for reading, its a new week and that almost makes Monday a very good day for me!

Are you sure I didn't sneak in & write that in your Journal, Amy????????? Except for the washing machine part!!

I joined WW 1/28/2003 - it will be FIVE years in January & here I still am paying, plugging away, losing, gaining, but never really making a dent. I've decided that if I'm not close to goal by 1/28/2008, I'm done. maybe it just isn't for me.

I feel your pain. But we CAN do this, together. I know stress & you've got a mighty big dose, & I'm the queen of stress eaters.

Hang in there! We're in this together!

Hope Monday gets better.

Have you ever thought of something for your house like American Home Shield? I pay $40/mo & if something breaks (washer,dryer, oven, pipes, etc,) it's covered w/ just a copay - mine is $50. helps the stess a little.

 

[traceycooper]

Hi Amy
First - i dont think you have failed!! Losing weight it not easy nor is maintaining & you managed to maintain this year.
You have a lot of stress in your life which makes it at least twice as hard as some people! I feel very lucky to have little stress in my life & i struggle with weight loss - i can only try to imagine how much more difficult it must be for you & many of my other WISH buddies!
A friend of mine has just cancelled WW she decided that as she has done every diet going she knows what she should & should not be eating & is trying to go it alone.
You are not alone Amy you have us right behind you, we all want you to be happy & suceed
Try not to let it get you down too much (easier said than done i know!!) focus on your positives, enjoy curves, allow yourself a sensible treat now & then & take good care of you
Same goes for you Julie
Now i just need to take my own advice!!!!!

 

[toystoryduo]

Amy,

I hear you WISH sis and I am right there with ya. I've been on this WISH journey for at least 3 years now and I am still in the same weight range I was in back then. I know that this journey can be discouraging sometimes, but keep on keeping on. Do what is right for you. Take each day as it comes and celebrate your victories....each and every one of them. You are a wonderful, amazing woman, Amy, and I know that you can accomplish your goals.

Hope you have a great Wednesday!

 

[MIdanceMom]

Amy,

AMy, you need to do what is right for you. Now may not be the time for you to focus on LOSING weight. Now may be the time to focus on maintaining your health through this stressful time in your life. You are not in this alone. You have agained something from WW, knowledge. You know the program, and it will be there waiting for you when you are ready. You are not in this alone.


Beth

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thank you so much Julie, Tracey, Tracy and Beth. I always say it but its always true: Don't know what I'd do without you ladies!

It felt weird to not go to WW today or at least not even thinking I should. I did end up cancelling the membership. I know I'll be back at some point. Maybe after the first of the year.

Food was good yesterday until I ate pizza. I didn't eat as much as I wanted but I still wish I would have just made a better choice. Today has been great with food.

Washer was working yesterday for awhile, then spewed water, and died. May it RIP. So I am buying a new one tonight. I just don't think its worth investing more money in fixing this one (I have had it fixed before). What a piece of junk, its only 8 years old. Hardly new, but my mom had the same washer for about 20 years or more! They don't make them like they used to thats for sure.

I did not get to Curves today. Ds had an ortho appt. right smack dab in the middle of my morning. Not enough time to go before or after I took the kids to school and said appt. So my goal is to go tomorrow, really early when dh is still home. Because I am having coffee with a friend from high school who is in town visiting her mom for the week. Again, love Curves, hate the short hours. And I can never go in the afternoons because of my daycare kid. I need to walk but may not make it, I have been researching washing machines and cleaning up my messy house. Which was clean yesterday, how does this always happen?

I am supposed to take my mom for the day on Friday, but I may cancel. Maybe the washer will be delivered then, thus I will have the perfect excuse! I am feeling a bit worn and feel like I need a day to recoup and recharge so that my family gets something from me on the weekend. I am taking them dinner in a bit, maybe I'll just casually say I can't do this Friday and see what the reaction is.

I am feeling good about my decision to leave WW for the time being. As Beth said, WW isn't going anyplace, its not like its a now or never sort of thing. I need to research and maybe see what the proper amount of calories is for a woman my height, age etc. Anybody know? I am sort of thinking I may count calories now instead of points.

I also am not going to worry about exercise minutes for now. Apparently I can multitask very well in all areas of life but my weight. I feel like when I concentrate on exercise, I eat too much and vice versa. I am just committed to doing Curves twice a week and getting two add'l walks in. Not going to stress about the minutes. I am planning on not weighing until just before I leave for WDW next month. Lets see if I can stay off the scale for a few weeks. Frankly the daily weigh ins haven't been doing too much for me!

I guess I can look at this that I haven't lost much weight in a year but I also could have gained way more than my 12 pounds too. Heck, I can gain 12 pounds in a month without even trying! Maybe the bigger picture is what I need to focus on. I just hate doing anything halfway or not at all which is how I feel my weight loss efforts can be summed up.

Thanks for reading! I am down but not dead in the water yet!

 

[MIdanceMom]

Amy,

You are doing what is right for you. If you need information about calorie requirements, you should check out www.sparkpeople.com. You've commited to Curves and your walks. Maybe give yourself a week or two to just relax. No guilt allowed? What do you think.

Good luck with the washer.

Beth

 

[postesf]

HI Amy! I just wanted to pop in and say HELLO!

I've not had time yet to read all your journal, but would like too. Its seems you are under a bit of stress right now...Never any fun! Sorry to hear about your Washer. They have such cool ones out now! I hope you have fun shopping for a new one. I have a front loader, which i LOVE


Stacie

 

[MIdanceMom]

Hi Amy,

I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you, and I hope you have a nice RELAXING day at home.

Take care of YOURSELF,
Beth

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thank you Beth and Stacie (nice to meet you!).

Beth, I took your advice and just chilled a bit this week. Due to some ortho appointments for the kids, a school meeting and some other stuff I only made it to Curves once. I did also get one walk in. Not exactly the week I was wanting exercise wise but better than nothing I guess. I also did so so on food, today was not so great but I am moving on. And I asked my friend to take dd to her volleyball team picture in the morning so I can work out before Curves closes. So that will actually give me two Curves this week.

I am happy to say that my mom is much better! I think the nurse checking in on her and pouring the meds is making a huge difference. Mainly because now stepdad can see if she has taken her meds. Amazing how they work when you take them! She also doesn't "hate" the nurse anymore which is a big improvement! Stepdad said she was actually happy to see this woman on Tuesday. So I am so thankful for that and all your prayers and good wishes. For now, things are good, stablized and I am enjoying it as long as it lasts! Huge relief.

Also, dd finally got a serve over tonight in volleyball. She's been playing two years, most of the other girls have been playing five so she has been consistently the worst player on the team poor kid. Last week she ended up crying (not a big cryer but she sure did last week) and was so discouraged. Probably that and finding out she is repeating much of the fourth grade just set her over the limit. But tonight she came back, and made three serves over and got three points. I was literally screaming like an insane woman I was so happy and so were my two friends. DD was part embarrassed but mostly so excited she didn't care how much her mom looked like a total idiot!

So this week really capped off nicely. I get my new washer tomorrow thank goodness. I am betting I have about 10 loads to catch up on. And Stacie, I so wanted that front loader but went with the top loader instead. It was half the cost. But I did look longingly at those front loaders. Maybe next time!

Thanks for reading. My week with food and exercise could have been better maybe next week I can make that happen!

Happy weekend all!

 

[traceycooper]

Hi Amy
just noticed your doing pop & RPacific next year - me too!!! pity your not their when we are but you can check it out for me
Glad mum is settling in with the nurse
gotta dash - take care

 

[MIdanceMom]

Hi Amy,

It is wonderful to hear that your mom is making improvements. Enjoy every second of it.

Great news about DD's game. Sports can be such a positive confidence builder for girls. You know, part of those tears could be hormonal, right? I know that she has had a lot of dissappointments lately, but just keep that in the back of your mind.

I'll be right there with you doing laundrudgery with you tomorrow.

Have a good one,
Beth

 

[lovinaz]

I am so happy to hear your mom is doing better! I had the feeling that once the nurse became part of her routine she'd be more accepting of her. That has to be a huge relief for you!

Sorry I have been MIA, I just got back from Germany last night and I didn't have any time to check in while I was gone. You probably did the right thing by taking a break from WW. I think that you know what you need to do and you have all the materials, and you can continue on your own. And sometimes you just need to take a break. Not a "go off the deep end, eat anything you want" kind of break, but focus on something OTHER than your weight. It's kinda like when they always say you find love when you are not looking for it. Maybe you'll find it easier to lose weight when you are not so obsessed with it!

I think you should be able to find some women's weight/height charts online, or ask your Dr.

Sorry to hear about DD's school, it is always hard to see your kids struggle. I'm glad she got the confidence boost in volleyball! I hope she showed the "veterans" that she could give them a run for their $$!

Hang in there, Amy, you are working out and getting healthier and supporting your family, and that is more important than a number on a scale.

 

[MIdanceMom]

Hi Amy,

I hope you had a good Sunday. What's on the agenda for this week?

Take care,
Beth

 

[toystoryduo]

Hi Amy,

I am so glad to hear that your mom is doing better. That is certainly good news!

That's great about your DD's volleyball game as well. Great job!

Hope you have a wonderful week WISH sis!

 

[postesf]

HI Amy!!! Just wanted to drop in and say Hello! Congrat on the new washer! Funny how we can get so excited over stuff like that!

It's really good to hear your mom is improving! I know that's a little stress for you!

Hope you're doing well!
Stacie

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks everyone. The weekend was nice. I did end up going to see my mom on Friday, I decided that she needs the company, so I took some laundry and we just stayed home at her house. I am going broke taking her to lunch so much. And of course the place she loves is on the other end of town and with gas at $3 a gallon, that is double $$ whammy! Then I was able to go home, make some headway there and was in a better frame of mind for my husband and kids on the weekend. Food was good, I did have a few light beers on Saturday night but that was my only splurge. I think Amy brings up a really good point (lovinaz Amy that is). Maybe concentrating too hard on all of this is counterproductive. I am just going to try to eat the best I can and move as much as I can through the end of the year and then evaluate in early 2008 if I want to do an actual program or not.

I did go to Curves on Saturday and yesterday and walked today. However, my clothes are really tight> Hopefully its a hormonal thing. I have not stepped on the scale in almost two weeks, a world record for me! I plan to weigh and take measurements at Curves just before we leave for WDW.

So in all, I feel settled into my new routine of no routine!

Thanks for reading. I will catch up with all of you later on today, I am off to make dinner now while I can. Between my kids and daycare kid, making dinner in the afternoon is not easy! Doing this keeps me out of the drive thrus!

 

[MIdanceMom]

Hi Amy,

A routine of no routine sounds like just what you need.

You sound like you are more centered in your last post. It is wonderful to hear you a bit more relaxed.

Take care,
Beth

 

[toystoryduo]

Hi Amy,

Sounds like you had a good weekend. Your plan for the rest of the year sounds like a good one. Hope you have a great day today!