Am I wrong to be so mad?

[tinkerbee]

Last week at work I put in for a promotion. Well today I found out that I did not get it and that it went to someone far less qualified. I have worked for this company for almost 6 years,other person 1. This person plans on leaving the company within the next year myself never. I have missed one day of work , she has missed 9 that I can think of. I had held the position at one time but stepped down because of personal home reasons that conficted with the job(but every thing is fine now). She doesn't know anything about how to do the job. I'm not mad at her personally because frankly she's my good friend. I'm mad because not only was I better for the job there were 4 other people that had also held that job at one time and they gave it to her.

So I went in,asked the manager why she got the position not only over myself but over the others also. All he could say was "we wanted to give her a chance." WHAT!!!! Because all the other reasons he gave I do all those things also and he even said that. Plus he said that she has been putting in overtime. The only reason she does that is because they have been allowing her to work with her husband you can seperate the two. He also said her attitude is better, what I heard was "sorry you speak your mind and don't kiss our a## enough for us to pick you or the others. Because now that I think about it the others that didn't get picked are also very opionated and stick up for what we believe in. One manager told me it's because her interview was a little better(it did come down to the two of us) but I have never done well with interviews, but why should 5 years of dedication be out shown by a 3 minute interview. She didn't even know the 5 beliefs of our company. She told me the only reason she got them right was because they were on the board behind the manager doing the interview. And the manager pointed to them and said they are right there.

I really want to quit at this time. I don't think that they were right to do that. I always believed in this company and that they did things fairly. Now I think they just want sheep.

Sorry I'm just really upset

 

[disykat]

I'm sorry for you - that must be hard! I think it's perfectly natural to be mad.

 

[dandave]

I'm sorry that you didn't get the job.
That said, though... If you and the other 4 people had already held that particular job in the past and gave it up for whatever reason, then I can see where the manager would give this woman a shot at it. He may have figured that the worst she could do would be to give it up, too. At best, she might stay in the position.

 

[ByTheSea]

sorry you didn't get the position you wanted. I have a co-worker who has applied for a number of openings and continues to get turned down... this is what I would LOVE to say to her.... but I don't want to ruin our friendship and I am afraid she would take it wrong.... I really hope you take this in the spirit it is offered... as helpful assistance... and hopefully you can learn from this.

I had held the position at one time but stepped down because of personal home reasons that conficted with the job(but every thing is fine now).

This could certainly have played a role in the decision, right or wrong I can't say....

He also said her attitude is better, what I heard was "sorry you speak your mind and don't kiss our a## enough for us to pick you or the others. Because now that I think about it the others that didn't get picked are also very opionated and stick up for what we believe in.

Attitude is EVERYTHING. There is a difference in being a team player and offering postive contributions, and "being very opinionated and sticking up for what you believe in" - it's often all in the delivery. When you have a complaint, do you offer possible solutions? Do you offer a LOT of complaints? Do you have issues with management? Could management view you as a whiner? This is something YOU can change, and believe me, until you do, it won't get any better. In general Manager's want people who can manage themselves and DON'T come to them with a lot of issues and complaints, but deal with those things themselves in a positive manner.

I really want to quit at this time. I don't think that they were right to do that. I always believed in this company and that they did things fairly. Now I think they just want sheep.

You already have a lot of time there, do you enjoy your work? Do you enjoy working for the company? If not then life is short, maybe it is time to leave, maybe a fresh start is in order. But if not, you can change people's perceptions, but it may take time. People like to work with people who have a positive outlook... does that apply to you?

Please do not take offense, I can just see my friend writing this, and she keeps getting rejected, she's got a LOT of experience, and a LOT of skills, but is an extremely negative person and does a lot of complaining... I wish she would see how this has affected her career path...

 

[Micca]

Do they know the person they promoted is leaving within a year?
If so, I would go to the boss and say that you want a shot at the position when it becomes open again. Then, have an open conversation about how you plan to work there indefinitely, and you are really interested in making a contribution to helping the company. It's ok to ask if you are considered opinionated. If they say you are difficult, tell them you'd like to work on showing them that you really have the best interest of the biz at heart.

If they don't get enthusiastic about an employee like that, you don't want to work there.

 

[tinkerbee]

I hardly ever have a complant. She often goes to them with complaints. I always have a solution and often they use them but say that they were their ideas. Managment has a problem with me because I often think that their ideas of work are just busy work and do not accomplish any thing for the good in our company. Yet I still do them. I always do what they ask, when they ask. And as far has attitude, I know that I come off some times in the wrong way which I do need to work on. But to pass up people that are much more quilifed than her really upsets me. Just because people have a hard time in their lives were home is more important than their jobs, why should that hurt them later? What makes me laugh is that I say what I mean when I mean it and don't try to act like something I'm not. Where she can look at you lie straight to your face then turn around and say the same thing I just said yet it makes me look like the jerk. I'm not going to lie to some ones face even my boss just to make myself look better in their eyes. I guess I need to but if that is what it takes to get some where then I guess I'm stuck.

 

[JOC]

Where she can look at you lie straight to your face then turn around and say the same thing I just said yet it makes me look like the jerk.

Tinkerbee,
Does this excerpt from your paragraph refer to your good friend, the one who got the job instead of you? If so, it doesn't really sound like she's the type of person that I would want to even have as a friend, much less a good friend.

I hope everything eventually works out for you.

 

[jamsmom]

You have every right to be upset! I would be, too. Of course, when she leaves, it would be interesting if NO ONE wanted to take that position,

 

[tinkerbee]

Yeah it's the same person. It does sometimes make me wonder if she does the same to me. I hope not though. I have a lot of support from my place so that helps a bit. One good thing did come out of it. A friend of mine I've been on the outs with for a while came up to me and gave me a hug and we apoliged to each other. There's always a bright side.

 

[Serena]

I would be mad too. I'm sorry you didn't get it.