Am I overreacting?

[PixieDustandEeyore]

. double post.. gotta love iphones

 

[PixieDustandEeyore]

They might not do too much sense you gave her permission and a key to go in the house, unless she broke things and such.

Maybe a trespassing charge, your friend had permission to enter not her male friend, he's trespassing.

 

[krcit]

Unbelievable!!! I can't even imaine how mad you must be Op Is your former friend married?

 

[cm8]

The nerve of some people. I can see why she is not calling you back now. She has figured out that her gig is up and all of her lies are going to be biting her in the butt. I would not feel bad about having the locks changed and losing her as a friend. SMH, I'm glad that you did not let this go. To have someone else living in your home is a no no and I'm shocked she did what she did in the first place. I wouldn't bother calling her anymore either.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I agree. I wouldn't call her anymore either. If she has the nerve to call you back, ask her if she knows anything about "someone" living at your house and tell her the police were called for suspicious activity. If she asks who called the police, say you don't know. The police called you! That would keep them away!

Actually, you were lucky to be notified early on. It could've been worse. It could've been going on for more time, damage involved to your house, and difficulty getting them out.

 

[Sadie22]

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this.

After my parents' house sold, I continue to this day to thank the realtor who got it sold despite the market at the time. It was a fixer-upper, but I was so worried about vandalism and such while it sat vacant. My brothers and I and some neighbors took turns checking on the property during the time it was vacant. My brother expressed concern about someone camping in the back, but I'll have to say I never considered the danger of someone actually squatting in the house.

Thank goodness for that alert retired policeman!

 

[LisaR]

Maybe she made a key so she doesn't have to keep revealing where your hidden key is to all the nosy people spying on her or kids that migh be watching. A hidden key isn't hidden if someone comes by twice a week and retrieves it.

I think you are over reacting a bit. She overstepped her bounderies a little by inviting a friend into your home, but she was with him, and you trust her judgement enough to give her a key. Ask her not to have anymore firends over, because it stresses you and then let it go.

Why would she need to keep revealing where the hidden key was when this was a one time favor that the OP'er asked her to do? This wasn't meant to be a daily or weekly thing. She asked her to stop by and open the windows and stop by and close them ONE TIME.

Edit to say: I should have read down to the end of the page to see the update. Yuck!!

 

[smitch425]

Who will be footing the bill for the water and electricity that these people have been using?

So sorry for your situation, OP. Glad you've gotten the police involved! Way to trust your instincts!

 

[divabydisney]

Worst case scenario-- you have to evict this nutjob. Seriously. Not sure what state this is in but if they have taken residency in your house- permission or not, a lot times the sherriff will make you evict them. i would tell the cops they are squatters (technically they are) and see if that will get you anywhere. What a mess. I can't belive your realtor didn't say anything to you up until this point. Has he been showing the house? I agree, thank goodness for the other neighbor. This is actually common. Your friend could've been renting out your house. Make sure there are no leases on it, etc. Make sure any damage is documented, utilities either turned off or bare minimums at best. Have you been getting utility bills? Noticed any increase in usage? You might be able to small claims court it if so. I would also agree to see if trespassing laws have been violated. Maybe dad can go and clean it up a bit? Sounds like it is a mess, but nothing that can't be fixed/cleaned up. Good Luck!

 

[Planogirl]

Maybe you should consider having a security system installed. Wow, this takes some nerve.

 

[Buckalew11]

Well, it got worse.

I called my dad, he said he would go on up and have a look. He found an entire bag of empty beer cans, a fridge full of beer, Baileys, Kahlua, Vodka, Mikes Lemonades. Enough for a lot of people or a lot of drinking. There were take out containers in the fridge on the counter and in the trash, toiletries in the bathroom, and the bed look slept in. My dad decided to wash the bed clothes since he didnt know who or what had been in them and found clothes in the washer and dryer, mens clothes. There is toiletries for both men & woman in the bathroom and several lights were left on. For crying out loud it has only been 2 days!!!!

The locks have been changed. My realtor said nothing seemed out of place on Sat except the open windows. I called my friend, she has not taken my calls. My dad spoke to the neighbor, this guy must have been staying there and my friend has been dropping in often. The neighbor only saw the guy that one time but has seen my ex friend coming and going. Anyway, the police are on their way there to meet up with my dad.

I guess she is having an affair? No idea who this guy is or why he was staying at my place. I am so hurt and angry!!! We have been friends since 7th grade. I have not seen her much since I moved out of state a year ago but seriously it is like I do not even know her. And she is not calling me back. It is good she lives far away because I am SO ANGRY. What do you think the police will do?

WOW! I'd dp whatever I could in this case. no way would I "let it go" if the police said something else had happened. Thank God it was only like 2 days.

What was this ex-friend of yours thinking????

 

[usnuzuloose]

What does your husband think now? I would be asking the neighbor if this has been going on for a while or just when you asked her to open the windows. True friends dont cross boundaries. If it were me I would be taking her to court to recover the utility costs. Maybe she will think twice about it again. Sorry your having to deal with this. I hope this is something your husband didnt know about and said not to make a big deal about it.

 

[sjaakie]

Don't forget to send your ex neighbor a big bouquet of flowers or a "Thank You" box of chocolates

 

[kathie859]

OP, I can't wait to hear what happened with the police and your uninvited houseguest. This is such a bizarre situation. Your former friend must have lost her mind to think this was OK.

 

[Rora]

I'd be changing the locks today. That is really bizarre - especially her making a copy of your key without permission! I wouldn't hesitate at all.

This.

I don't think you're overreacting at all.

EDIT: just read the UPDATED!! Definitely not overreacting. I'm so so sorry! Keep us updated!

 

[EllenFrasier]

She totally took advantage of the situation knowing that you were in another state and could not drive home and catch them there. I would definitely change the locks and I would not leave a key hidden anywhere on the property. Keep a key with the person selling your house and maybe you should find another neighbor that you can trust to have another key if you feel the need. The realtor should be the one stopping by to set up the open house and open windows, etc. anyway.

Okay, I posted before reading the update about her moving in with her boyfriend. I thought they house was empty? Now there's furniture in it, so it's not really empty. I would pack up her stuff, put it in a box out back and tell her she has one week to pick it up. If she doesn't pick it up, out in the trash it goes. Did the police tell you what to do or go after her or anything? Taking someone's key and making a copy of it so you can come and go as you please should be illegal if it isn't.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Well, it got worse.

I called my dad, he said he would go on up and have a look. He found an entire bag of empty beer cans, a fridge full of beer, Baileys, Kahlua, Vodka, Mikes Lemonades. Enough for a lot of people or a lot of drinking. There were take out containers in the fridge on the counter and in the trash, toiletries in the bathroom, and the bed look slept in. My dad decided to wash the bed clothes since he didnt know who or what had been in them and found clothes in the washer and dryer, mens clothes. There is toiletries for both men & woman in the bathroom and several lights were left on. For crying out loud it has only been 2 days!!!!

The locks have been changed. My realtor said nothing seemed out of place on Sat except the open windows. I called my friend, she has not taken my calls. My dad spoke to the neighbor, this guy must have been staying there and my friend has been dropping in often. The neighbor only saw the guy that one time but has seen my ex friend coming and going. Anyway, the police are on their way there to meet up with my dad.

I guess she is having an affair? No idea who this guy is or why he was staying at my place. I am so hurt and angry!!! We have been friends since 7th grade. I have not seen her much since I moved out of state a year ago but seriously it is like I do not even know her. And she is not calling me back. It is good she lives far away because I am SO ANGRY. What do you think the police will do?

sadly, this is a lot like I thought it could be after reading the OP

I am really curious to hear what the police had to say.

I also agree with a couple of other people that you should not call her or contact her at all now. Let the law handle this if at all possible.

Change the locks PRONTO and if at all possible have your dad check on things at least once a week from here on out.

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this.

 

[Rafiki31]

Ok, She took the key on Friday, there was an open house on Sat. All the stuff was discovered in the home yesterday so this guy has only been living there since Sat night. "Friend" did not have a key before that and the realtor said she didn't see anything out of place sat afternoon.

The police took a report, and agreed the lock change would probably solve the problem. They talked to my dad and my neighbor. They went to friends house and spoke with her but her husband was present. She denied everything and said she did not know who the guy was in my house and said she never let anyone in. She didn't give any name or anything, I assume because her husband was present. So I still have no idea who this man is that was there. The police said it was very obvious she was not being truthful and that her husband was visibly upset. They did not arrest her or anything, but told her they would if she tries to enter again. She did not give them my key either, denied having it, so glad the locks were already changed.

My dad finished the guys laundry (I though it odd, but my dad said he didnt want to put wet clothes outside) boxed em up with the toilettries and left em on the curb with a note that the police have been notified and he will be arrested if he enters again. If the man doesn't get em, the trash truck comes Monday. The booze was actually given to the neighbor who alerted me, he is having a BBQ this weekend. I am going to send him a thank you card and a gift card for a local resteraunt.

I got an irrate screaming message on my cell at 2am about ruining my friends marriage. I was asleep at the time. But obviously I ruined her marrriage eh? Her husband left several messages as well wanting to know what happened because she isn't talking she denied everything. I am not sure if I should call him back or not, I feel bad for the guy. I really want to call him but know it is going to be ugly.

In order for me to check on the home, it would be a 36 hour drive or a flight so she figured she would never get caught. I am glad she did. I am sure the utilities and everything were used plenty, but only for a couple of days and I am thankful my neighbor emailed me so quickly.

 

[FredinFL]

Your neighbor is awesome, thank goodness he was around! Your "friend" is a jerk. I feel bad for her husband. What kind of guy moves into someone else's house without permission? Hopefully the changed locks will keep him out. I think it's funny your dad dried the clothes, but I get why he did it.

 

[mickeyboat]

Ok, She took the key on Friday, there was an open house on Sat. All the stuff was discovered in the home yesterday so this guy has only been living there since Sat night. "Friend" did not have a key before that and the realtor said she didn't see anything out of place sat afternoon.

The police took a report, and agreed the lock change would probably solve the problem. They talked to my dad and my neighbor. They went to friends house and spoke with her but her husband was present. She denied everything and said she did not know who the guy was in my house and said she never let anyone in. She didn't give any name or anything, I assume because her husband was present. So I still have no idea who this man is that was there. The police said it was very obvious she was not being truthful and that her husband was visibly upset. They did not arrest her or anything, but told her they would if she tries to enter again. She did not give them my key either, denied having it, so glad the locks were already changed.

My dad finished the guys laundry (I though it odd, but my dad said he didnt want to put wet clothes outside) boxed em up with the toilettries and left em on the curb with a note that the police have been notified and he will be arrested if he enters again. If the man doesn't get em, the trash truck comes Monday. The booze was actually given to the neighbor who alerted me, he is having a BBQ this weekend. I am going to send him a thank you card and a gift card for a local resteraunt.

I got an irrate screaming message on my cell at 2am about ruining my friends marriage. I was asleep at the time. But obviously I ruined her marrriage eh? Her husband left several messages as well wanting to know what happened because she isn't talking she denied everything. I am not sure if I should call him back or not, I feel bad for the guy. I really want to call him but know it is going to be ugly.

In order for me to check on the home, it would be a 36 hour drive or a flight so she figured she would never get caught. I am glad she did. I am sure the utilities and everything were used plenty, but only for a couple of days and I am thankful my neighbor emailed me so quickly.

This is just unfreakingbelievable.