Am I overreacting?

[DaParkers]

Not overreacting. Your friend is immature, plus she drives after drinking.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'm generally pretty laid back. This has trouble all over it.
Speak to your realtor and have them have the locks changed.

If you want to keep this friend, give her a call and say "My realtor offered to manage the property so I didn't have to bother anybody else to do it, so I am going to let him/her. Thanks for your help, but you don't have to worry about going to the house anymore". If you want, send her a gift card or something with a thank you note.

If you don't care about keeping her as a friend, then I'd call her and say "No need to check the property anymore. The realtor will take care of it. Thanks for your help." If she starts asking questions, I'd be honest and say "I just don't feel comfortable with you bringing other people into the house and such, so I am going to let the realtor handle it. Thanks for your help up until now".

I'd also let the across the street neighbor know that the locks will be changed and the realtor will be managing the house and that they shouldn't see your friend in or around the house and if they do they should call the police.

 

[Magic Mom]

Then you call up your friend and say "Hey friend. You know, I don't think that hiding spot is very safe. What do you think about having an extra key made so I can have it on hand if you need my help again?" You do NOT just go and have an extra key made for a house that is not yours. That is over stepping boundaries to a big level. Just having a key made in this situation is just... wrong... odd... and perplexing.

I would have the locks changed.

I didn't say it was the best option.I said it was a possible reason.

 

[Octoberbride03]

Usually when I read "Am I overreacting posts" I think it is overreaction. In your case I don't think it is overreacting.

I would have the locks changed. When my brother and sister in law bought a new house a couple of years ago, they moved right before a scheduled Disney trip. They gave me and DH the house key to feed their pets and asked if we minded having spares made for them.

We had about 6 copies made and gave them all the keys. They asked why we didn't keep one for ourselves (we had a key to their old home) and I said "because you didn't say to".

I find it creepy that she would have a copy made without asking you. What was she planning on doing with it?

Right

The only reason I have a key to my parents' house is because my mother put it in my husband's hand and said "keep it." We did NOT ask for the key, had no intentions of making our own copy of any key they lent us for whatever reason. I am their daughter, yet I don't presume to make key copies and drop by at whatever hour is convenient for us and do whatever we want.

And since the house is empty you should indeed worry. You still hold the liability(legally and insurance wise) for what goes on there as long as you own the property. So either have the locks re-keyed or completely replaced. Do it today.

And if it were me, I wouldn't even tell her about it. Just to see if she tries to get into my house again. Not word one from me.

 

[Rafiki31]

Well, it got worse.

I called my dad, he said he would go on up and have a look. He found an entire bag of empty beer cans, a fridge full of beer, Baileys, Kahlua, Vodka, Mikes Lemonades. Enough for a lot of people or a lot of drinking. There were take out containers in the fridge on the counter and in the trash, toiletries in the bathroom, and the bed look slept in. My dad decided to wash the bed clothes since he didnt know who or what had been in them and found clothes in the washer and dryer, mens clothes. There is toiletries for both men & woman in the bathroom and several lights were left on. For crying out loud it has only been 2 days!!!!

The locks have been changed. My realtor said nothing seemed out of place on Sat except the open windows. I called my friend, she has not taken my calls. My dad spoke to the neighbor, this guy must have been staying there and my friend has been dropping in often. The neighbor only saw the guy that one time but has seen my ex friend coming and going. Anyway, the police are on their way there to meet up with my dad.

I guess she is having an affair? No idea who this guy is or why he was staying at my place. I am so hurt and angry!!! We have been friends since 7th grade. I have not seen her much since I moved out of state a year ago but seriously it is like I do not even know her. And she is not calling me back. It is good she lives far away because I am SO ANGRY. What do you think the police will do?

 

[momof1princess]

Well, it got worse.

I called my dad, he said he would go on up and have a look. He found an entire bag of empty beer cans, a fridge full of beer, Baileys, Kahlua, Vodka, Mikes Lemonades. Enough for a lot of people or a lot of drinking. There were take out containers in the fridge on the counter and in the trash, toiletries in the bathroom, and the bed look slept in. My dad decided to wash the bed clothes since he didnt know who or what had been in them and found clothes in the washer and dryer, mens clothes. There is toiletries for both men & woman in the bathroom and several lights were left on. For crying out loud it has only been 2 days!!!!

The locks have been changed. My realtor said nothing seemed out of place on Sat except the open windows. I called my friend, she has not taken my calls. My dad spoke to the neighbor, this guy must have been staying there and my friend has been dropping in often. The neighbor only saw the guy that one time but has seen my ex friend coming and going. Anyway, the police are on their way there to meet up with my dad.

I guess she is having an affair? No idea who this guy is or why he was staying at my place. I am so hurt and angry!!! We have been friends since 7th grade. I have not seen her much since I moved out of state a year ago but seriously it is like I do not even know her. And she is not calling me back. It is good she lives far away because I am SO ANGRY. What do you think the police will do?

holy carp! she moved a guy into your house!!!!! that woman has got some SERIOUS cajones! i'm not sure what the police will do, but i'd certainly be talking to them and finding out what my options are! good luck, OP! i'm still picking my jaw up off the floor!

 

[Magic Mom]

Well, it got worse.

I called my dad, he said he would go on up and have a look. He found an entire bag of empty beer cans, a fridge full of beer, Baileys, Kahlua, Vodka, Mikes Lemonades. Enough for a lot of people or a lot of drinking. There were take out containers in the fridge on the counter and in the trash, toiletries in the bathroom, and the bed look slept in. My dad decided to wash the bed clothes since he didnt know who or what had been in them and found clothes in the washer and dryer, mens clothes. There is toiletries for both men & woman in the bathroom and several lights were left on. For crying out loud it has only been 2 days!!!!

The locks have been changed. My realtor said nothing seemed out of place on Sat except the open windows. I called my friend, she has not taken my calls. My dad spoke to the neighbor, this guy must have been staying there and my friend has been dropping in often. The neighbor only saw the guy that one time but has seen my ex friend coming and going. Anyway, the police are on their way there to meet up with my dad.

I guess she is having an affair? No idea who this guy is or why he was staying at my place. I am so hurt and angry!!! We have been friends since 7th grade. I have not seen her much since I moved out of state a year ago but seriously it is like I do not even know her. And she is not calling me back. It is good she lives far away because I am SO ANGRY. What do you think the police will do?

EEWW!! Now I don't think you are overreacting! The police will probably take a report and document any damage.

 

[ginna74]

They might not do too much sense you gave her permission and a key to go in the house, unless she broke things and such.

 

[kidzmom3]

crazy

 

[mickeyboat]

Wow! I'm speechless.

 

[Rafiki31]

I didn't give her permission to let her creepo move in. I am so angry I have a splitting headache and my hands are shaking. I need to go to the gym before I freak out.

 

[sorcerormickey]

Well, it got worse.

I called my dad, he said he would go on up and have a look. He found an entire bag of empty beer cans, a fridge full of beer, Baileys, Kahlua, Vodka, Mikes Lemonades. Enough for a lot of people or a lot of drinking. There were take out containers in the fridge on the counter and in the trash, toiletries in the bathroom, and the bed look slept in. My dad decided to wash the bed clothes since he didnt know who or what had been in them and found clothes in the washer and dryer, mens clothes. There is toiletries for both men & woman in the bathroom and several lights were left on. For crying out loud it has only been 2 days!!!!

The locks have been changed. My realtor said nothing seemed out of place on Sat except the open windows. I called my friend, she has not taken my calls. My dad spoke to the neighbor, this guy must have been staying there and my friend has been dropping in often. The neighbor only saw the guy that one time but has seen my ex friend coming and going. Anyway, the police are on their way there to meet up with my dad.

I guess she is having an affair? No idea who this guy is or why he was staying at my place. I am so hurt and angry!!! We have been friends since 7th grade. I have not seen her much since I moved out of state a year ago but seriously it is like I do not even know her. And she is not calling me back. It is good she lives far away because I am SO ANGRY. What do you think the police will do?

Holy cow! Is there any way you can go back there quickly? I would be so paranoid. Good luck with all of this!

 

[Swan4Me]

Definitely get police involved-they could "jimmy" the new lock and keep partying-are you close enough to make a weekend visit?

Unbelievable

 

[ols386]

They might not do too much sense you gave her permission and a key to go in the house, unless she broke things and such.

She gave her permission to go into the house once, to open windows and air the place out.

She did not GIVE her a key.

And she didn't give permission for some guy to be living there, which sounds like what's going on.

 

[RunningGirl]

Wowza! I can't believe the gall! That is just totally creepy. I doubt she'll ever answer your calls now - really, what explanation could she possible offer that would justify that? Glad you trusted your instincts (and your nice neighbor) and can resolve it before any damage is done.

Of course, she probably owes you some money for utility use now!

 

[OceanAnnie]

Creepy! Your former friend is beyond words. How did she ever think that would be okay? How could she do that?

Thank goodness for your good neighbor. I'd send her a thank you card with a gift card to her favorite restaurant or something. That was super nice of her to let you know.

I'm glad it's being taken care of now. Good that the police are involved. Those two might think of your place as "theirs" and now there is a paper trail if anything should happen.

 

[mom23boys]

Holy cow That is so creepy. I cannot believe someone moved into your house while it was vacant. OMG I totally stunned by some peoples actions.

I'm glad your neighbor gave you a heads up.

 

[Ciao Mickey]

Well, it got worse.

I called my dad, he said he would go on up and have a look. He found an entire bag of empty beer cans, a fridge full of beer, Baileys, Kahlua, Vodka, Mikes Lemonades. Enough for a lot of people or a lot of drinking. There were take out containers in the fridge on the counter and in the trash, toiletries in the bathroom, and the bed look slept in. My dad decided to wash the bed clothes since he didnt know who or what had been in them and found clothes in the washer and dryer, mens clothes. There is toiletries for both men & woman in the bathroom and several lights were left on. For crying out loud it has only been 2 days!!!!

The locks have been changed. My realtor said nothing seemed out of place on Sat except the open windows. I called my friend, she has not taken my calls. My dad spoke to the neighbor, this guy must have been staying there and my friend has been dropping in often. The neighbor only saw the guy that one time but has seen my ex friend coming and going. Anyway, the police are on their way there to meet up with my dad.

I guess she is having an affair? No idea who this guy is or why he was staying at my place. I am so hurt and angry!!! We have been friends since 7th grade. I have not seen her much since I moved out of state a year ago but seriously it is like I do not even know her. And she is not calling me back. It is good she lives far away because I am SO ANGRY. What do you think the police will do?

I would file a trespassing complaint with the police. That's the only way something can be done. Your *friend* didn't have permission to enter your home after your initial request to open your windows.

You dodged a bullet thanks to your neighbor. Those people might have tried to squat in your home, or have parties, or do who knows what.

You're lucky they didn't destroy your house.

 

[mtemm]

omg, that is awful! I am so sorry you are dealing with this. just plain scary, and so hurtful to know your friend did this. hope the w/o helped calm you a bit. I agree with pp about sending the neighbor a thank you for letting you know.

did you dad do anything with the clothes/other items he found?

 

[hambirg]

Thank gawd for nosy neighbors!!!

Affair was my initial reaction too. Wow. .. just wow! But I'm glad you found out sooner than later.