Am I overreacting?

[Rafiki31]

I think I might be. But I am freaked out. I have a home for sale in another state. I have a friend that drives by it every day on her way to and from work.

I asked my friend to stop by and open the windows. The realtor was out of town until the day of and I did not want the home to smell stuffy. We have been friends for more than 15 years. I told her where my hidden key was. She said it was not a problem. She stopped by to open the windows and air the house out, open house took place, she went by to close the windows.

Then I got an email from my neighbor mentioning that a woman had been by my house "several" times and that he saw her bringing a case of beer in and she was with a guy. So I call my friend and she tells me she and her friend had stopped by on their way to a movie and they had an hour to kill. I freak out, I don't want him to A- know my house is empty or B know where my key is. She said not to worry, he doesnt know where they key is, she has it on her keyring. What? She said she took it so she could make herself a copy? WHAT ? WHY ? She has her own home. Why are they hanging out at mine? Why would anyone make a copy of a key for no reason? I freaked out and told her to put the key back and do not make any copies. Totally unacceptable. My husband is telling me to relax, the house is empty and I am overreacting. But if my neighbor had not emailed me I would not know any of this and that scares me.

I want to change the locks. Is this unreasonable? I am now worried that some stranger knows where my key is (she denied it, but obviously she is showing poor judgment here and not sure if she is telling the truth) and I am not comfortable with her making a copy of my key without my permission. Obviously she doesnt have good enough judgment here. I made a mistake by trusting her. She owns a home, why has she been hanging out drinking at mine? Would you change the locks? It will be a hassle, and I will need to give the realtor and my family (they live 2 hours away or I would have had them open the windows) new keys.

 

[RunningGirl]

I'd be changing the locks today. That is really bizarre - especially her making a copy of your key without permission! I wouldn't hesitate at all.

 

[npmommie]

Yes this would make me uncomfortable. the fact that she made a copy for herself without telling you is odd to me.

I think I would change the locks, only because you don't know if she is telling you the whole truth now because she didn't tell you about the incident your neighbor emailed you about.

and who drinks a CASE of beer before a movie? ( the neighbor said they took in a case right/)

 

[JLTraveling]

I think you're overreacting. She's doing you a favor, maybe your house was between her and the movie and she decided to kill two birds with one stone. The guy was her date, not some random stranger. Who knows why she decided to make a copy of the key--did you ask her?

I guess I'm confused, because if the woman is a "friend," that you trust to be in the house alone doing favors for you, why do you show such little trust or faith in her decisions? If I was her, when you called me freaking out, I would have told you to go open your own darn windows! Why not have nosy neighbor do it instead?

You're going to have to make a choice. If the friend is a friend, take a deep breath, apologize for freaking out on her, and trust her. If not, get your keys back and give somebody you do trust the job.

 

[Monte Cristo]

I think I might be. But I am freaked out. I have a home for sale in another state. I have a friend that drives by it every day on her way to and from work.

I asked my friend to stop by and open the windows. The realtor was out of town until the day of and I did not want the home to smell stuffy. We have been friends for more than 15 years. I told her where my hidden key was. She said it was not a problem. She stopped by to open the windows and air the house out, open house took place, she went by to close the windows.

Then I got an email from my neighbor mentioning that a woman had been by my house "several" times and that he saw her bringing a case of beer in and she was with a guy. So I call my friend and she tells me she and her friend had stopped by on their way to a movie and they had an hour to kill. I freak out, I don't want him to A- know my house is empty or B know where my key is. She said not to worry, he doesnt know where they key is, she has it on her keyring. What? She said she took it so she could make herself a copy? WHAT ? WHY ? She has her own home. Why are they hanging out at mine? Why would anyone make a copy of a key for no reason? I freaked out and told her to put the key back and do not make any copies. Totally unacceptable. My husband is telling me to relax, the house is empty and I am overreacting. But if my neighbor had not emailed me I would not know any of this and that scares me.

I want to change the locks. Is this unreasonable? I am now worried that some stranger knows where my key is (she denied it, but obviously she is showing poor judgment here and not sure if she is telling the truth) and I am not comfortable with her making a copy of my key without my permission. Obviously she doesnt have good enough judgment here. I made a mistake by trusting her. She owns a home, why has she been hanging out drinking at mine? Would you change the locks? It will be a hassle, and I will need to give the realtor and my family (they live 2 hours away or I would have had them open the windows) new keys.

WOW! Holy over stepping boundries batman. I don't think you are overreacting. I would tell the friend to stay out and ask the neighbor if he/she would kindly let you know if they show up again. If so, at that point I would change the locks and then send her the bill.

 

[NHdisneylover]

My gut reaction (which is likely totally off base) was that your friend is married and having an affair and going to your house to have it (I think I read on the DIS too often).

I would be upset that she still has your key (what if you needed to have someone else let themselves in with that hide a key and then it was not there because she had kept it and not told you) AND more so that she plans to make a copy of it.

I do not think changing the locks is overreacting. At the very least, tell her not to go over there again and not to make a copy and then ask the neighbor to let you know if she sees your "friend" come by again.

Also--thank your neighbor for watching out for the house and notifying you. Send him a little gift card or book he would enjoy or something if you can

 

[Monte Cristo]

and who drinks a CASE of beer before a movie? ( the neighbor said they took in a case right/)

Maybe they were going to see Hangover 2?

 

[3boymthr]

This would bother me and yeah, I would change the locks. Cause why does she need a key unless she is planning on using this as a love nest?

 

[DWGal210]

Weird. How bizarre to have someone hanging out at your house, esp if they have their own?! Odd. I'd be finding another person to watch the house & changing the locks.

 

[charming23]

I would be changing the locks. It seems so bizzare to me that she would want to make copies of the key for herself. I would never think to do that if a friend asked me for a favor.

 

[Rafiki31]

I think you're overreacting. She's doing you a favor, maybe your house was between her and the movie and she decided to kill two birds with one stone. The guy was her date, not some random stranger. Who knows why she decided to make a copy of the key--did you ask her?

I guess I'm confused, because if the woman is a "friend," that you trust to be in the house alone doing favors for you, why do you show such little trust or faith in her decisions? If I was her, when you called me freaking out, I would have told you to go open your own darn windows! Why not have nosy neighbor do it instead?

You're going to have to make a choice. If the friend is a friend, take a deep breath, apologize for freaking out on her, and trust her. If not, get your keys back and give somebody you do trust the job.

When I questioned her, she reacted oddly/ like she was caught doing something bad. She was asking who told me rather than giving a reasonable explanation. Her behavior is weird to me and I got the feeling she was lying. Just gut feeling I cannot quite explain. Her explanation of stopping by before a movie did not make sense since she had a case of beer. I emailed my neighbor back with a few more questions, he said she had been by several times. I did consider her a friend, now I am weirded out.

My neighbor is a retired police officer and a very nice neighbor. I hate to bother him if I can avoid it.

I think I am going to change the locks, not tell her, and see if she tries to get in again.

 

[MadilynnsMomma]

I would thank the neighbor for the heads up and ask if she mind going over to the house and changing the locks. Then I would ask her if she'd mind holding on to the spare key for the time being. I'd offer to send her a check for her services.

Thanks a lot sketchy friend! Just when you think you know someone and can trust them... BAH!

 

[shinysparklybubbles]

My gut reaction (which is likely totally off base) was that your friend is married and having an affair and going to your house to have it (I think I read on the DIS too often).

I would be upset that she still has your key (what if you needed to have someone else let themselves in with that hide a key and then it was not there because she had kept it and not told you) AND more so that she plans to make a copy of it.

I do not think changing the locks is overreacting. At the very least, tell her not to go over there again and not to make a copy and then ask the neighbor to let you know if she sees your "friend" come by again.

Also--thank your neighbor for watching out for the house and notifying you. Send him a little gift card or book he would enjoy or something if you can

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Totally inappropriate to make a copy of a key without the owner's knowledge or permission, or to let anyone else know where a key is hidden.

A house being empty doesn't mean that damage can't be done. Also, if it's a place to hang out and drink, what if the realtor stops by with potential buyers. Yup, I'd change the locks.

 

[okeydokey]

I would thank the neighbor for the heads up and ask if she mind going over to the house and changing the locks. Then I would ask her if she'd mind holding on to the spare key for the time being. I'd offer to send her a check for her services.

Thanks a lot sketchy friend! Just when you think you know someone and can trust them... BAH!

The realtor can change the locks. I would not ask the neighbor.

The case of beer means that your friend is using your place as a nice party place for herself and her friend. I would get the locks changed.

 

[smitch425]

When I questioned her, she reacted oddly/ like she was caught doing something bad. She was asking who told me rather than giving a reasonable explanation. Her behavior is weird to me and I got the feeling she was lying. Just gut feeling I cannot quite explain. Her explanation of stopping by before a movie did not make sense since she had a case of beer. I emailed my neighbor back with a few more questions, he said she had been by several times. I did consider her a friend, now I am weirded out.

My neighbor is a retired police officer and a very nice neighbor. I hate to bother him if I can avoid it.

I think I am going to change the locks, not tell her, and see if she tries to get in again.

There is a HUGE difference between being asked by someone to do a simple favor and making a key without permission while helping yourself to their empty house.

Change those locks, girl! It is YOUR house and if she tries to get in and questions you about it, tell her you didn't feel comfortable with her having a key without clearing it with you. Any normal person would accept that, but then again any NORMAL person would not steal a key, make a copy, and use a person's house without permission. If the friendship dissolves because of this, you might be better off. No real friend would do such strange and inappropriate things. Creepy...just creepy...

 

[SandrA9810]

If you do have two people that can help you, a cheaper route is to have the locks re-keyed at Home Depot.

You know how each key has different groves? Well each grove is numbered and there's a length of pin to match. When you re-key, you take out the inner workings and remove all the pins and match them up with a new key.

Each lock is only about $5 and all can be keyed to the same key. The reason why I say two friends, one to go to Home Depot and the other to watch the house while it is unlocked. But a house visit by a locksmith could easily cost you $100 or more to do the same thing, and you could easily spend $50 or more replacing the whole lock with a new one.

 

[Rafiki31]

I could not sleep last night, it was really bothering me.

 

[MusiqChic99]

I think you're overreacting. She's doing you a favor, maybe your house was between her and the movie and she decided to kill two birds with one stone. The guy was her date, not some random stranger. Who knows why she decided to make a copy of the key--did you ask her?

I guess I'm confused, because if the woman is a "friend," that you trust to be in the house alone doing favors for you, why do you show such little trust or faith in her decisions? If I was her, when you called me freaking out, I would have told you to go open your own darn windows! Why not have nosy neighbor do it instead?

You're going to have to make a choice. If the friend is a friend, take a deep breath, apologize for freaking out on her, and trust her. If not, get your keys back and give somebody you do trust the job.

I have not one friend who would have made a key of her own without permission. Not even my best friend who I love like a sister. It's called respect.

Yes OP you do need to make the decision that she might not be such a good friend after all. It isn't her house. She agreed to do the favor you asked and that should have been it.

 

[Abbie]

Strange "friend" and I would be off put too to say the least.

But, as your husband pointed out, the house is empty. You obviously have a realtor checking it out every so often so I don't think your friend would be setting up any sort of permanent arrangement to be with her friend because she would be found out pretty quickly.

I also think you have put her on notice that you have someone watching the house and she will think twice about going over there uninvited again. I really don't think I would go to the trouble or expense of changing the locks unless you think she is capable of causing real damage.

And she would be a former friend!