Am I overreacting?

[piglet too]

I would be very upset with the camp. I too have a 10 year old DS, who has a hard time being away from his father and I overnight. I understand where the OP is coming from with that issue. To some it may seem easy to say "he is 10, let him deal with it." but it is not that easy. Not all kids mature at the same rate, as my DD7 would do just fine as would my DS15 back when he was younger.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Why weren't you allowed to send his allergy medicine with him or at the very least with a camp counselor?

Honestly, that's my fault. He's never had allergies at this time of the year. Until this year. We've had a really wet summer and he's showing signs of mold allergy, which in the past has only been a problem in the fall (leaf mold) or indoors. In the summer he's always been off all medication. So, when I filled out the forms for camp at the Dr. I didn't bother to get a med permission form.

In addition, when he is having trouble we usually do meds every 12 hours (e.g. Zyrtec first thing in the a.m., and Benadryl last thing at night), so it's only this one night that he'd need it at camp. I figured it was easier to drive it out myself than to take the day off, go to the doctor, pay for the form.

 

[TwinsinCA]

Yes, you have the right to be ticked.

And I think you are a great mom for going to pick up your son. He'll remember that you were there for him.

 

[JerseyMamaBear]

yeah I would be pretty pissed and they would be, at the very least, meeting me half way if it could be done without affecting the other children (example being the kid to adult ratio) Please let us know what happens in the end.

 

[Pixiedust34]

I'm a pretty laid back person but this would have me irate. If I am understanding correctly, they listed one location on the permission form and brought him to a different location.

I agree. This is an inappropriate move by the camp. I wouldn't be happy if my kid were taken to a different location for an overnight stay w/o my permission.

 

[OceanAnnie]

He's 10, not 6. I thought about the meet half way, but that would leave fewer counselors for the other children. I don't feel like I can ask them to put those kids in jeopardy to save me some miles.

I can't go now, because I don't know exactly where they are, just the area.

Can you get the counselor's phone number off of your phone (*69 or something)? I'd try it. If it isn't obtainable, I'd just get the info. about location when the counselor calls. Go get him. The circumstances were not what he agreed to at all. You gave him an out if he wasn't comfortable. He isn't comfortable. Yes, you'll be tired tomorrow. Get some coffee. Keep the promise.

I'd be upset with the camp, but I'd deal with that later.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I just spoke with the "head" counselor who told me they changed the plan a week ago and that it wasn't their responsibility to let us know, it was the school's (note, this camp is run by Organization A, out of school B. The school is where I drop off and pick up and where they have aftercare, and who I wrote the check to, the person I spoke to is from the organization).

She insists he's fine. I'm going to have him stay unless they call back (my guess is they won't, because I have a feeling she won't call even if he's hysterical). I asked if they'd call when he was asleep, so I could stop worrying but they refused, but she gave me her phone number. I'm tempted to call back every hour until they tell me he's asleep -- think that's reasonable.

 

[diznygirl]

Are any of the other parents aware that the children are camping someplace different? I would have no problem with spreading the word about it.

I hope this ends well for your son. I'm with you - I would go pick him up.

 

[sunnyday123]

They're supposed to call me back in a little while after they talk to each other and see how he does.

I have mixed feelings about going. On one hand, I think staying would be a good experience for him if he works through this and stops crying, on the other if I decide not to go, and then at 11 it becomes clear I have to go, I'll get there at 1, home at 3, and need to get up at 6:30 for work. Even leaving now would mean getting home at 1:00. I absolutely, positively can't skip work tomorrow.

I should also add that I doubled checked with the counselor this morning (note: in her defense the counselor is very young, high school student) and told her that I was worried about allergies. We talked about the specifics of the location, and I asked if I could send Benadryl, she said no, so I told her I would bring it up if they called. So the topic of me coming up had been introduced before.

My big question is not so much, do I go, but do I do I have the right to raise hell about this tomorrow. I'm tempted to tell them they need to call the camp director and have him drive up there and get him, but I realize that is probably overreacting.

I seriously blacked out after I got to the part in your first post that they moved the location and did not tell you. I wouldn't want the counselor anywhere near my kid, and you're darn tooting I would be going to get her right now. And he's with a bunch of high school kids, overnight??? Camping? Oh he** no. I would be beyond furious, and if you think you're overreacting, what I would do doesn't even compare.

I'm mad now, and it's not even a kid I know.

 

[sunnyday123]

I just spoke with the "head" counselor who told me they changed the plan a week ago and that it wasn't their responsibility to let us know, it was the school's (note, this camp is run by Organization A, out of school B. The school is where I drop off and pick up and where they have aftercare, and who I wrote the check to, the person I spoke to is from the organization).

She insists he's fine. I'm going to have him stay unless they call back (my guess is they won't, because I have a feeling she won't call even if he's hysterical). I asked if they'd call when he was asleep, so I could stop worrying but they refused, but she gave me her phone number. I'm tempted to call back every hour until they tell me he's asleep -- think that's reasonable.

She REFUSED to call you back?? Oh, I would be ripping doors off the hinges when I got there.

 

[clh2]

Can't a camp counselor go to the local "walgreens" and just pick up some benedryl? I would think that you could give verbal permission for them to administer to your child???

Or - with do they have a camp nurse that can handle dispensing the benedryl?

Then - in the morning, could you get the Zyrtec to the camp - so it is there when they arrive back?

I would be furious on one level...as a parent I would like to know where my child is (and she is 15) On the other hand, not every adventure one goes on in life turns out exactly as you would expect. Part of growing up is learning to roll with the punches.

As far as driving out late at night for 2 hours, and then 2 hours back, in the dark and the rain...wouldn't work for me. Not for homesickness. For an injury - that would not be a problem.

To the OP - Good luck. Drive safely if you must go. (We are all parents...my other advice is you have to trust your gut - that is why you have it So how is that for conflicting advice???

 

[MariDisney]

I would be ticked about the change in location without being notified. But, I think 10 is old enough to stick it out for one night. He is getting used to you picking him up, and I think this is an age where one needs to begin having more and more independence. He will be fine. When I was about his age (maybe a year or two older) I went away with my friends family for two weeks. I got homesick about day 9. My parents were about 2 hours away. There was no way on God's green earth they would come get me. They taught me that I had made a choice and I would have to stick with it. I grew from that experience.

Editing to add...I didn't mean to sound harsh. Obviously, you're going to do what you feel is right for your boy.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Only the one counselor is a high school kid, and she's not there.

The way it works is this. I drop him with HSK (High School Kid) at the private school that's providing the camp. HSK watches him and the group for about 10 minutes, until the bus (provided by the organization) arrives. Then there's HSK, and the adult counselor driving the bus. They go to a different location every day and do whatever they're doing. When they get there they are met by counselors who are specialists in the activities -- these are adults too. So when they're at the activities it's usually 2 or 3 adults, 1 HSK, and 2kids. I'm fine with that ratio. Then when they come back HSK watches them at camp (where there are lots of other kids from art camp, or science camp or whatever and other adults and HSKs) until I get there to pick up.

The issue is that the bus driver changed, and the adults changed frequently (due to the nature of the program), so the only "adult" he has a relationship with is HSK. While I'm glad there are adults there for safety, I'd feel happier if HSK was there to comfort him. Also HSK is the one (because of the drop off/pick up) who told me I could come out with the meds. She's the only one I've actually met.

The counselor I just spoke to made a point of telling me she was 47. Seems to me that means she's old enough to know better.

 

[dismom2]

I would be mad about the location change (or, that it was incorrectly listed), but as far as picking him up, due to the harsh weather and distance I would probably wait until tomorrow. Or, call tomorrow and see how he is doing, and remind him of all the fun things he'll be missing if he comes home; and that if he comes home (since it's not a health issue), not to ask to do this again for a long time----it is interfering with your sleep/job, and you are probably losing money from this.

 

[hentob]

Perhaps I am overreacting, but I would never trust anybody that took my child to a place that I did not know about

I would hop in my car and go get him for sure. He is not with trustworthy, responsible adults


I mean, who takes a child to a different location OVERNIGHT without contacting the parent What the heck is going on?

 

[C.Ann]

If it were my child (and I think I can safely speak for how my DD and her DH would feel about their 10 yr. old DD), someone would definitely get a very, very stern lecture about changing the location and not bothering to notify anyone.. No one has the right to tell parents that they are taking a bunch of kids on an overnight trip to Point A and then bringing them to Point B instead..

As for your son, I'm assuming it's too late to go and get him now.. However, when they called the first time and you learned they were NOT at Point A like they said they were going to be, I would have insisted that someone bring him from Point B to Point A and I would have been waiting there to pick him up..

Regardless of whether some feel he's old enough to stay, there is nothing more important than a parent keeping their word.. If you say you're going to pick up your child if there's a problem, then you need to pick them up.. Anything less and the child feels they can't trust what their parent tells them.. Unfortunately you are now stuck with explaining to your son why you didn't come to get him - as promised - and I would lay the blame right where it belongs - at the feet of the people who are responsible - the camp and the school..

I would also be very hesitant to allow any more trips with this group because who knows where they're actually going to end up? (And your son probably wouldn't want to go anyhow after this incident..)

What a mess.. If you can't sleep because you're worried, go ahead and call the counselor.. Who cares if you wake her up? The screw up was on their end - not yours..

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I agree with MichelleWV, he is 10 not 6. He needs to suck it up and stay.

I just don't understand if he wouldn't stay at grandma's and a good friends overnight, what made you feel he would stay at an overnight camp with a bunch of strangers.

My DS just turned 11. He just returned yesterday from a 4 night overnight camp. He was a little homesick, I could tell, he called me twice a day. But he would never say he wanted to come home.

IMOP, your son isn't even giving it a chance. He knows mommy will come get him on a whim , so why even try to have fun. No way would I be driving 5 hours in the dark pouring rain. I would be mad about the location change, but I would deal with that when I picked him up at the end of camp.

Why didn't you send the allergy meds with him?

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I agree with MichelleWV, he is 10 not 6. He needs to suck it up and stay.

I just don't understand if he wouldn't stay at grandma's and a good friends overnight, what made you feel he would stay at an overnight camp with a bunch of strangers.

My DS just turned 11. He just returned yesterday from a 4 night overnight camp. He was a little homesick, I could tell, he called me twice a day. But he would never say he wanted to come home.

IMOP, your son isn't even giving it a chance. He knows mommy will come get him on a whim , so why even try to have fun. No way would I be driving 5 hours in the dark pouring rain.

Why didn't you send the allergy meds with him?

Because I didn't send him to an overnight camp with a bunch of strangers. I sent (or thought I sent) him to a day camp that has one overnight the last night with a group of children and adults he knew in a familiar location. I never would have considered sending him to a 4 day overnight -- but this seemed like a good "next step", if that makes sense.

I've already addressed why I didn't send the allergy meds with him.

 

[Brit17]

Only the one counselor is a high school kid, and she's not there.

The way it works is this. I drop him with HSK (High School Kid) at the private school that's providing the camp. HSK watches him and the group for about 10 minutes, until the bus (provided by the organization) arrives. Then there's HSK, and the adult counselor driving the bus. They go to a different location every day and do whatever they're doing. When they get there they are met by counselors who are specialists in the activities -- these are adults too. So when they're at the activities it's usually 2 or 3 adults, 1 HSK, and 2kids. I'm fine with that ratio. Then when they come back HSK watches them at camp (where there are lots of other kids from art camp, or science camp or whatever and other adults and HSKs) until I get there to pick up.

The issue is that the bus driver changed, and the adults changed frequently (due to the nature of the program), so the only "adult" he has a relationship with is HSK. While I'm glad there are adults there for safety, I'd feel happier if HSK was there to comfort him. Also HSK is the one (because of the drop off/pick up) who told me I could come out with the meds. She's the only one I've actually met.

The counselor I just spoke to made a point of telling me she was 47. Seems to me that means she's old enough to know better.

I'm a little confused ... does your DS know any of the adults that are with him tonight or are they all strangers to him? ... if they are all strangers, I would want to come home too ...

I would be upset also if the camp changed locations without notifying me first ... I also would be very uncomfortable if I didn't personally know all the adults who were chaperoning the camp tonight ... and I would already be on the road on my way to pick him up right now ... but that's just me ...

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Because I didn't send him to an overnight camp with a bunch of strangers. I sent (or thought I sent) him to a day camp that has one overnight the last night with a group of children and adults he knew in a familiar location. I never would have considered sending him to a 4 day overnight -- but this seemed like a good "next step", if that makes sense.

I've already addressed why I didn't send the allergy meds with him.

So your son knew these people for how long a week or two and you thought he would stay? He wouldn't stay with his own grandmother is my point. Compared to his own grandmother yea they are strangers.

And like I said why would he stay, seems like there's a pattern, if he whines to come home no matter when or with who you go get him, why would he give it a chance.

Don't get in an uproar. You asked if you were overreacting. About the unknown change of location, no I would be mad. Would I go get him, absolutely not!