Am I Being Unreasonable?

[hentob]

My pet feeders never enterd the house. The dog was in the yard. Do you really keep a big dog in the house? Just have a neighbor feed the dog in the yard.

Of course you would keep a big dog in the house. Why not? I couldn't imagine going away and having a dog outside the entire time

The OP only gets to see the in laws twice a year. I think the family that lives only 2 hours away should stay in the hotel.

I wouldn't drive all that way for one night. You will be tired and cranky. Plus anxious about your dog.

Am I the only one that loves my dog just like a member of the family? I can't grasp the "it's just a dog" mentality that is shown by some.

 

[JennaTX]

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. Especially since one of the things that bothers you is your children not being able to spend time with their grandparents that they only see twice a year. I would go in January when the entire family can enjoy the time with them. Hope it works out!

 

[nativetxn]

There are many hotels that accept pets. I found this link for you http://www.pets-allowed-hotels.com/

There are other links out there too.

Here's how I feel about it. My feelings would probably be hurt about the way I was treated. I also know that I didn't spend my mother's last Christmas with her and I will never forgive myself for that.

I hope you find a way to deal with this and make the best of it.

Katholyn

 

[aprilgail2]

:

Am I the only one that loves my dog just like a member of the family? I can't grasp the "it's just a dog" mentality that is shown by some.

I love dogs...but I just don't feel they should be brought out to other peoples houses since other people may not love them like you do....I just couldn't imagine asking someone who's house I was goign to visit if I could bring my dog...and I would hate to have someone want to bring their dog that is staying with me....

 

[maciec]

My pet feeders never enterd the house. The dog was in the yard. Do you really keep a big dog in the house? Just have a neighbor feed the dog in the yard.

Our dog is an inside dog. We don't have a fenced in yard nor a kennel outside.

As far as dh is concerned he wants to go, but just to taste his dad's Thanksgiving dinner. My solution was to have his dad make Thanksgiving/Christmas dinner the weekend after New Years when we will have the wole weekened versus 6 hours. He's really on the fence about going.

As far as the SB & family that only live 2 hours away they see each other more than twice a year, more like every other month.

I am not going to fight with dh about this, after all it is his family we are going to see. If he really wants to go, we will make the best of it and go. Am I going to try and talk him out of it ~ you bet!

 

[momof2inPA]

I agree with the OP and don't think she is being unreasonable. I am really surprised at all the posters who think she is. They made plans and the in-laws should have called before telling the stepbrother to come.

Should mil and fil have said, "I'm sorry, the girls can't come to Thanksgiving because macie's dog is coming?" I don't think that would have gone over too well.

It's your husband's decision to go. Either have him find a pet sitter or decide to spend the 90 bucks. If I've scheduled a trip to Disney, I would find it tough to tell DH he couldn't spend $90 on a visit to his family; I mean, that's less than one character dinner for a family.

 

[maciec]

I love dogs...but I just don't feel they should be brought out to other peoples houses since other people may not love them like you do....I just couldn't imagine asking someone who's house I was goign to visit if I could bring my dog...and I would hate to have someone want to bring their dog that is staying with me....

We allow dh's parents to bring their dog into our house, so we didn't feel that it would be a problem. Which it wasn't until other family members decided to come to Thanksgiving dinner.

 

[luv2nascar]

I was all set last christmas to tell my parents they could not come and stay with us for 9 -10 days. It really is a big inconvience for us because my DH and I have to work. They try to keep the kids up late, etc. Meals are an issue as I'm tired after working all day etc and we don't have money to eat out every night. I have lots of laundry and cleaning to do. The list goes on and on. In October my best friend's FIL suddenly passed away. He injured himself on a Wed and died by Friday morning. This was a great shock to them. After that I didn't have the heart to tell them to stay a shorter time or not at all. What if it was my lst christmas with them. As Nativetxn said you could never forgive yourself. I would make the best of it and not deprive my husband of a visit with his folks.

 

[momof2inPA]

Am I going to try and talk him out of it ~ you bet!

Don't nag. That's a mistake- and mean. It'll ruin the holiday for your husband.

 

[vald1977]

No, you aren't being unreasonable. Sounds like a sticky situation all the way around and I would probably do what you are doing and let my DH make the ultimate decision but try to sway him into going in Jan. instead. I do think it was wrong of your ILs not to consult you about bringing the dog when they found out the other family was coming. What did they expect you to do with him/her?

 

[maciec]

DH just called me (he's away on business for the next 3 days) and said that he had some time to think about it and he decided that we aren't going to PA for Thanksgiving. He said that he would rather go home when the kids can have more exclusive time with their grandparents and spend more than 6 hours with thiem. He said that he really wants to go, but he's trying to be realistic and think of the kids.

Now, he just has to tell his dad.

Whew!!!!! I didn't even have to say anything to him. All of this fretting for nothing!

Thank you all for your responses ... crisis averted!

 

[vald1977]

Glad it all worked out for you (without an argument even ).

 

[rigs32]

I can't believe all the people who think it's a good idea to make two very young children sit in a car for 6 hours two days in a row. I love my husband, but long car trips need at least a few days to make it worth the hassle.

 

[MICKEY88]

in the Grande scheme of life this situation is a minor inconvenience, I would go for Thanksgiving , what if something were to happen to one of your inlaws between Thanksgiving and Christmas, then rather than giving the kids more time with their grandparents, they were deprived of the time..

 

[disykat]

I can't believe all the people who think it's a good idea to make two very young children sit in a car for 6 hours two days in a row. I love my husband, but long car trips need at least a few days to make it worth the hassle.

ditto - I'm betting most of the people who said that probably haven't done it! I wouldn't drive a total of 12 hours just to have dinner, go to a motel, and head home in the morning. It would be much better to go at a time when there was a chance to visit. I would do it for a wedding or funeral - something once in a lifetime - but not for dinner.

 

[robinb]

As far as a pet sitter is concerned while the idea is a nice one, at this short notice I don't have the time to find one, check their references, and hope that it is someone that I can trust in my house and with my dog.

I'm not talking about a professional petsitter. It's wayyyy too late to get one of those! I'm talking about a neighborhood kid from a family you know. You can't trust your neighbors? Heck, you know where they live, LOL!

 

[minkydog]

If you're asking is it reasonable for you to feel let down and disappointed, the answer is yes. I totally understand your irritation. however, it is their home and they have the right to invite whomever they want. You can like it or not.

If the dog can't be left at home, and the girls are afraid of the dog, I would bow out and plan to go another time. There is no point in upsetting them and everybody else. This is not the time to "teach" them anything.

I would not drive 6hrs for turkey and drive home the next day. If you can stay in a hotel with the dog and manage that, it seems like a good plan. If not, then stay home.

 

[epcotfan]

in the Grande scheme of life this situation is a minor inconvenience, I would go for Thanksgiving , what if something were to happen to one of your inlaws between Thanksgiving and Christmas, then rather than giving the kids more time with their grandparents, they were deprived of the time..

I don't think it is realistic to make an inconvenient fly-by-night trip based on what ifs. I'm glad the OP found an alternative solution and that her kids will have more exclusive and less rushed time with their GPs in January.

 

[marybet]

Should mil and fil have said, "I'm sorry, the girls can't come to Thanksgiving because macie's dog is coming?" I don't think that would have gone over too well.

It's your husband's decision to go. Either have him find a pet sitter or decide to spend the 90 bucks. If I've scheduled a trip to Disney, I would find it tough to tell DH he couldn't spend $90 on a visit to his family; I mean, that's less than one character dinner for a family.

The in-laws should have called and said stepbrother wants to come and the girls don't like the dog, can you find someone to keep the dog? I never said the other family shouldn't come, just that maybe they should be the ones staying at the hotel. Plus the stepbrother could bring his family for Christmas, since they only live 2 hours away.

 

[MoniqueU]

I would spend 390 a night before I would spend the night at ANY reletives house. I just got a new dog though and leaving him overnight for any of my reletives might be a tough call. I am leaving him overnight for 3 nights for a ski trip but the neighbors are looking in on him then. Skiing>6 hour trip to the reletives any day.