Am I being too harsh?

[badblackpug]

BTW, the safety goggles are only used when cooking with oil or grease that can splatter. Its just common sense to me, grease can splatter! Remember the story I heard from my ER nurse friends about the lady who had both eyes badly burned from grease splatters? You'd use safety goggles under other conditions that warrented them, such as using power tools, etc. I just want to state that I'm really not paranoid about the kitchen---I don't cook in an abestos suit

I would have thought throwing away the game boy and all the games a little excessive. But that's how you chose to handle it! I would have taken them away for awhile, then let her earn them back. But the point you made (and I'm sure she learned) is not to break rules and sneak behnid your back. I probaby would not have thrown them away, I might have sold them on Ebay! Certainly would bring more money than a cake mix!

It is interesting that you find my reaction excessive, as basically I did the same thing you did...only the cost of the item thrown away was more. In actuality, my child broke more rules than yours.

1) Didn't do homework
2) disrespected my rule by playing with the game again
3) Disrespected me by going into my room and taking the toy
4) disrespected the schools' rule by taking the toy to school

See it was basically the same punishment...I cannot trust you to follow the rules...so I will remove the temptation.......

 

[grlpwrd]

My point is that if we teach a child how to safely use something, and what the dangers are, we are much better off. Simply restricting something from a child is asking for trouble. Kids want to do things they are told not to do. But if they know the dangers, they are much better able to handle it.

True. I also think taking such extreme measures could affect self-confidence and trust in themselves. I know safety is paramount, but to make a child feel empowered that he or she can learn and develop survival skills is just as important.

It doesn't sound like it is just about rule breaking. I think a big part of it is that you're paranoid. You may not think so, I am sure, but wearing safety goggles? Being too careful is just as bad as being too complacent.

It also seems as if you are taking extreme measures and projecting your fears onto them to an exponential degree. I would not be surprised that they grow up detesting certain aspects of their lives, like cooking, because of too many restrictions that you place on them.

I think you were being too extreme, but you are their parent, not me. To me it's all about giving them roots and wings... Hey, you asked.

 

[sk!mom]

Why is everyone coloring the word cake, red?

 

[hidmickey:myantidrug]

Why is everyone coloring the word cake, red?

I'm willing to bet that you searched for this thread (most likely after the walking 2 miles thread). When you search keywords, all the posts in that thread have those keywords redened.

 

[Love the Mouse]

When I was in 4th grade a classmate of mine was cooking something on the stove without parental supervision. Anyway, he burnt his house down to the ground! Our whole class took the 2 or 3 block walk to his house to observe what happens when you cook on your own w/o a parent present. I am 36 now and to this day I still think about it.

Fire is a big fear of mine, and we have the same rule in our house. My DD is only 3 at the moment, but each time that I cook and she wants to "help" me, I can't stress it enough how important it is to not touch the stove or oven!

As far as being too harsh. Your kids giggled and acted as though it were a joke. After thowing the cake batter away, I am guessing that they realized that you really did mean business...at least I hope. Maybe next time this little incident will stick out in their minds before they decide to turn the oven on w/o permission.

 

[Merriwind]

We have two kids, ds9 & dd10.

I have a very strict rule that they do not turn on the oven or stove. Period. Not even with adult supervision. We do it. They can use the microwave, but its my rule that they do not turn on the oven/stove. That's my rule!

Well, recently they started helping me make cakes and other baked goodies. They can make a cake from a box, and, after a few tries under supervision, I let them make the cake without our supervision. That is, they can mix the ingredients without supervision, they can use the cake mixer with adult supervision, but they do NOT turn on the oven.

Tonight they asked if they could make a cake. I restated the rules to them--mix the ingredients, then use the mixer with either dh or me supervising, but I explicity told them NOT to turn on the oven. We would do that. Well, I went into the kitchen and found the oven turned on, and practically up to broiling--500 degrees! I wondered why it was getting so warm in the house! I asked them why they had turned on the oven when told not to. They both grinned and acted like it was a big joke, and, of course, each blamed the other. I turned off the oven and threw away the cake batter. I also threw away several boxes of cake mix and frosting. They immediately started crying--they were looking forward to the cake. Well, I said they had broken my rules, so they could not have the cake. I also threw away the remaining box mixes. I was afraid they would decide to bake another cake when we were not supervising and could not be trusted not to turn on the oven.

When they were younger I removed the knobs from the gas stove so they couldn't play with it. But I really think they're old enough now to understand and obey rules. DH thinks I'm being too harsh, he says I should not have thrown away the cake mix, perhaps kept it and baked it tomorrow. I felt I had to make my point known in no uncertain terms. Accidents happen in the kitchen frequently. Kids need adult supervision. If they don't follow the rules, they can't play the game!

Oh my, it's a zombie thread--back from the dead!

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I think you WAY overreacted and need to re-evaluate this rule. Teaching them to use the stove/oven SAFELY and with SUPERVISION is a much, much better way to go. Otherwise, your kids could be 18 and not know how to cook a meal (except in the microwave), and you'll spend an awful lot of time between now and then trying to convince kids who are really old enough to cook with minimal supervision that they AREN'T. Not a message I'd want to send my child, but YMMV.

 

[darlak]

I don't think the point here is about the wastefulness of the OP's actions or about if her kids are old enough to be learning to cook.

I think the point is about her efforts to teach her kids to obey her rules. To that end, the closer you can tie the disclipline to the offense, the more children will learn from that consquence. So to answer your question OP, no, I don't think you were too harsh.

 

[cymomtx]

I think I would of baked the cakes with the kids and then taken them to a senior home, instead of throwing them away!

 

[powellrj]

??????? why are we bringing posts back from the dead?????????????

 

[Allison]

Just to point out to those who don't notice:

This thread is 6 MONTHS OLD.

 

[katyjeka]

My opinion - your rule is a little harsh. At your sons ages, they should be learning how to cook, prepare meals, and use the stove. We've, both my husband and I, always included our girls in food prep. and my oldest at 12 is already an excellent cook. Learning how to use the stove safely is an important life lesson. I understand your anger when they broke the rules, but why not stop at throwing away what they've prepared, what lesson did they learn by throwing away so much more?? Janice

 

[tinaluis]

I don't think you're being too harsh -- I think you should buy each of your children a $400 bicycle which would better prove your point !

 

[DawnM]

I wouldn't let them ride them without goggles though.

Dawn

I don't think you're being too harsh -- I think you should buy each of your children a $400 bicycle which would better prove your point !

 

[mom2aredhead]

I can't believe it...

 

[GottaGetToDisney!]

I have a feeling that the OP is NOT going to respond to any of the new posts.


Gotta Get To Disney!

 

[Tinkergirl]

This is the best Saturday that I've had to work in a long time!! I'm almost upset that I have to go home and miss all the fun!!

 

[darlak]

I don't think you're being too harsh -- I think you should buy each of your children a $400 bicycle which would better prove your point !

Okay, color me SLOW. I didn't notice that this thread was from January.

Are you saying that vhoffman is also me again? I am soo out of the loop here!

 

[tinaluis]

Okay, color me SLOW. I didn't notice that this thread was from January.

Are you saying that vhoffman is also me again? I am soo out of the loop here!

I'd bet $$ on it. Before I knew about all the drama, I was seriously following her child protective services story, hoping the best for her. Then I started to see a pattern to her posts -- more drama than a soap opera -- that I realized some of this had to be made up. Then the gift for the teacher that wasn't quite good enough, it was all too much. me again fits that same profile and I'd be willing to bet it's the same person.

 

[darlak]

I'd bet $$ on it. Before I knew about all the drama, I was seriously following her child protective services story, hoping the best for her. Then I started to see a pattern to her posts -- more drama than a soap opera -- that I realized some of this had to be made up. Then the gift for the teacher that wasn't quite good enough, it was all too much. me again fits that same profile and I'd be willing to bet it's the same person.

Have you got a link to that child protective services post? I would love to read that. CPS is my field.