Am I being selfish, immature or unreasonable?

[Pea-n-Me]

I have not seen any over the top "dump your dh and break the bank all the while laughing on the beach drinking the savings account money and hoping that the dog is peeing on his cereal" replies.

How are you doing, jeepgirl?

 

[kaytieeldr]

I am surprised that you feel that the OP is less deserving than her husband when it comes to financial decisions. It is possible to plan a trip without blowing the bank

ITA.
Right now my trip is costing about $400 for air, hotel, and car.

That's for five nights. It CAN be done.

So, OP: I'll be in Las Vegas at the end of October, if you want to hang out.

 

[quentina]

I don't think you are alone. Women (sorry guys) are just the stronger sex. We multi-task in ways men could not comprehend. This is where the term "super mom" comes in. I can clean the house in the time it takes my husband to load the dishwasher.

I just had this conversation with my husband. I asked him to make a phone call (for 3 days) to see if he could get off work for a friends wedding. An airfare sale was going on and was ending on day 3. He did not make the call. I burst into tears and told him he was the most selfish SOB I ever met in my life.

Upon talking to him, it seems that he doesn't realize that the few small things I ask him to do matter. I explained that it hurt me that he can't do simple things for me. He does not think ahead and probably just thought there would be another airfare sale (funny thing is, he would of been the first one complaining about the extra $$$).

We are married 15 years and too be honest, I laid it on the line. If you want this marriage to survive, you need to think about someone besides YOU for a change. Because I accepted it for the 20 years we are together, he does not realize what is wrong with the situation ( my bad, I never should of had the I will do it myself attitude....)

I am 38 years old and my husband should be able to do something that takes one minute of his time for his wife. End of story!!

Lay it on the line and remind. I have started pointing things out to him that I have accepted in the past but am not hurt by (menapause maybe...not sure why I have a soft spot all of a sudden).

I do love my husband and want our marriage to continue. We are very happy with the exception of this one thing that has really started to bother me....Me pointing things out to him seems to have given him a rude awakeing. He said wow...I really **** up, dont I?

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

...Women (sorry guys) are just the stronger sex....I burst into tears...

Hmmm, maybe not...

 

[quentina]

Hmmm, maybe not...

I know, if I want him to listen, I need to turn them on. Sorry...that is just how it works. In 20 years together, he has seen me cry about 5 times (not counting a death or something like that).

As a spouse, we all figure out what works and what doesn't....for mine, tears mean, you needs to listen.

It worked, he is now recognizing what I asked him to recognize.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I know, if I want him to listen, I need to turn them on. Sorry...that is just how it works. In 20 years together, he has seen me cry about 5 times (not counting a death or something like that).

As a spouse, we all figure out what works and what doesn't....for mine, tears mean, you needs to listen.

It worked, he is now recognizing what I asked him to recognize.

It looks like you both know and respect one another...

 

[Wishing on a star]

I live in Pittsburgh too. I 'll go to Vegas with you.

And yes I do think your DH should do something special. DH took me to WDW for my 40th.

I don't live in Pittsburg... But he!!, that doesn't matter.
When is the big date... Where do we need to make the ressies...

VEGAS BABY!!!!!

 

[merryweather20]

Hmmm, maybe not...

The strongest people I know cry, the weakest people I know, do not.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

The strongest people I know cry, the weakest people I know, do not.

It was a joke. Did you see the winky?

 

[raysnkaysmom]

The strongest people I know cry, the weakest people I know, do not.

Wow, absolutely love that quote.
And quite true too

 

[DenMig]

I just got back from Vegas for my 40th. I turned 40 on the 4th. I love my kids to death but it was great for me and my wife to get away for a few days and have some adult fun. Got a great rate at the Bellagio and got upgraded to a fountain view using the 20 dollar trick. We saw the Lion King, Price is Right, and didn't lose too bad gambling, lol. I highly recommend Vegas for the 40th Bday.

 

[Terry36]

I don't think you are alone. Women (sorry guys) are just the stronger sex. We multi-task in ways men could not comprehend. This is where the term "super mom" comes in. I can clean the house in the time it takes my husband to load the dishwasher.

I just had this conversation with my husband. I asked him to make a phone call (for 3 days) to see if he could get off work for a friends wedding. An airfare sale was going on and was ending on day 3. He did not make the call. I burst into tears and told him he was the most selfish SOB I ever met in my life.

Upon talking to him, it seems that he doesn't realize that the few small things I ask him to do matter. I explained that it hurt me that he can't do simple things for me. He does not think ahead and probably just thought there would be another airfare sale (funny thing is, he would of been the first one complaining about the extra $$$).

We are married 15 years and too be honest, I laid it on the line. If you want this marriage to survive, you need to think about someone besides YOU for a change. Because I accepted it for the 20 years we are together, he does not realize what is wrong with the situation ( my bad, I never should of had the I will do it myself attitude....)

I am 38 years old and my husband should be able to do something that takes one minute of his time for his wife. End of story!!

Lay it on the line and remind. I have started pointing things out to him that I have accepted in the past but am not hurt by (menapause maybe...not sure why I have a soft spot all of a sudden).

I do love my husband and want our marriage to continue. We are very happy with the exception of this one thing that has really started to bother me....Me pointing things out to him seems to have given him a rude awakeing. He said wow...I really **** up, dont I?

Quentina I could have written this myself....I too am 38 and we will celebrate our 15th anniversary next year. He too was rudely awakened and now has seen the light. I love to travel and he does not but he has promised to make an effort to find something we both would like to do.

 

[vickyBaby]

You're not being selfish. Figure out what is right for you with your life and your relationship.

(If I was in your shoes, I'd tell my husband to go pound sand and shaddup and take me on the trip or spend the money on a marriage counselor instead)

 

[semo233]

In a marriage, both people need to feel like they are special and adored. Your husband needs to be showed and told that you are not feeling that way at all. Show him the list at the beginning of the thread and tell him some of the things that you feel are missing in your life. Tell him as much as you can about what you need to feel loved, appreciated, needed and wanted.

Bump up your own ways of showing him how much he is loved. People will treat you as badly as you let them, but people also need to feel loved and appreciated (especially when they least deserve it).

If you don't see a change, you will start to resent him. You will stop doing all the things and little favors that you do to try and make him feel special. Then he will start to resent you...., etc. It lead to a downfall in my marriage and I'd hate to see it happen to anyone else.

Watch the movie Fireproof. Not the best acting, but a message that is valuable just the same.

Good Luck. I"m sending good wishes and prayers your way.