Allowing your underaged teen to drink, your thoughts?

[ThanksForNoticingMe]

Don't really care who did or didn't say what. There was a question, I answered it with MY opinion and thoughts. As I usually say, JMHO, YMMV. Just because I think drinking is a stupid waste of time and health doesn't mean that everyone else has to think the same and I'm not asking you to. MY opinion is just that; mine. Only time that would get meshed is if the drinking caused harm to me or my family.

YMMV

Drinking to get drunk and other forms of alcohol abuse are certainly not healthy practices. However, LIGHT alcohol use...even on a daily basis...has proven health benefits.

 

[cm8]

Drinking to get drunk and other forms of alcohol abuse are certainly not healthy practices. However, LIGHT alcohol use...even on a daily basis...has proven health benefits.

 

[mjkacmom]

Nope, we can manage to have fun without the added enjoyment of drunken brawling, drooling, vomiting, hangovers, etc etc... No matter what age we are, and ESPECIALLY when it's illegal.

FELLOW RESIDENTS OF THE UNITED STATES: In most states, it is legal for people under the age of 21 to consume alcohol! They are not allowed to PURCHASE alcohol, but are allowed to CONSUME alcohol. Light to moderate wine drinking has proven health benefits. We allow (and I don't include myself in this "we") our kids to drink soda, and eat cr@p, and today's children are the first ever to have a shorter life span that previous generations, and yet some parents, some with obese children, are viligent on not letting their older children have a glass of wine at Thanksgiving.

Alcoholism is a problem, but not as deadly as the obesity problem in this country. Drink wine - not soda! Maybe then we can be as thin as the rest of the world.

 

[happygirl]

No, I'm not going to allow myself or my child to break the law.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Torn - I am not a friend to my boys, and I will not try to become their friend until I feel that they have become men (matured sufficiently). So, age really won't be the deciding factor for me. I joined the Army at age 19. I saw combat at age 20. It was illegal for me to buy a beer until I became 21. That is/was absurd.

So, again, for me it will be about their maturity, not their age. When I think they can drink responsibly, they will be allowed to drink in my home. For some people, that age never arrives.

 

[LuvOrlando]

What on earth is so great about alcohol use that leads parents to make a deliberate decision to introduce their kids to it? I simply don't get the "why" behind it. I mean, have studies ever been done that say kids who are introduced to alcohol by their parents actually suffer lower incidences of substance abuse? I mean personally, I have observed the opposite to be true, but I could be wrong.

Hmmm, it is curious....

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

What on earth is so great about alcohol use that leads parents to make a deliberate decision to introduce their kids to it? I simply don't get the "why" behind it. I mean, have studies ever been done that say kids who are introduced to alcohol by their parents actually suffer lower incidences of substance abuse? I mean personally, I have observed the opposite to be true, but I could be wrong.

Hmmm, it is curious....

A good question. From my point of view - my boys are going to drink eventually. Better that their first exposure come when they are safe than when they might not be. But I won't expose them to it until they are ready for the lesson that the exposure offers.

I think that drug abuse issues are tied to genetics. Some people are simply pre-disposed to addiction. I could be wrong, but the latest studies point in this direction. I don't fear alcoholism in my children as much as the possibility that they will either drink and drive, or get in the car with someone else that does.

 

[Nancy]

I would have no problem monitoring consumption at a family party. When I say "party", I mean a gathering a get together, not a kegger I would never serve any other child not my own alcohol, even my nieces or nephews. If their parents were okay with them having a drink in my presence then the parent can serve them. I also wouldn't allow my child to drink when they had friends over, which is why I specifically said a family party.

I was thinking along the lines of my kids having friends over for an evening......that is when I wouldn't let them drink. We have a very small family so it's not too hard to watch things then...and since my SIL is a big "no drinking" person then my nephews do not get offered a drink. My one nephew is now 21 and I can't even offer it to him now...although she (my SIL) will offer a drink to my now over 21 year old.

 

[Nancyg56]

Old enough to be asked to die for your country then you are old enough to have a beer at home.

This was the way my sister viewed it. Both of her sons are Marines and both have served multiple tours in Iraq. Her boys were not yet 21 but she allowed them a beer in her home, they had both placed their lives ont eh line and were mature enough to determine for themselves if they wanted a beer. Both are of age now and neither have turned into boozin maniacs.

No, I'm not going to allow myself or my child to break the law.

I never condoned breaking the law but because it is legal to serve your minor an alcoholic beverage in your own home I don't feel this is a logical reason to refrain from serving. If you are opposed to seeing your children drink, as I was, that is an understandable reason. If you are opposed to breaking the law then you do not condone your children drinking outside of the home. It really is not fair to judge parents who have a different approach by inferring that they are breaking the law, They are simply making a different parenting decision that in most States is legal.

I felt strongly about my minor children drinking alcohol and did not need to dangle the "LAW" in front of them. They are all over 30 now and one does not drink at all, one may have a glass of wine twice a year and one will have a mojito when she wants to throw caution to the wind.

What on earth is so great about alcohol use that leads parents to make a deliberate decision to introduce their kids to it? I simply don't get the "why" behind it. I mean, have studies ever been done that say kids who are introduced to alcohol by their parents actually suffer lower incidences of substance abuse? I mean personally, I have observed the opposite to be true, but I could be wrong.

Hmmm, it is curious....

I don't have studies to back this up, just personal experience. I have several family members who were raised in a dry home. They were raging alcoholics later in life. I wonder if making alcohol a forbidden sin their parents decision had the opposite effect.

 

[shortbun]

Honestly, I feel like some of you act like drinking alcohol is necessary. It's not. You don't need to feel like you need to 'train' your children to drink responsibly either. Your drinking responsibly will facilitate that. Allowing a child who's brain has not fully developed to drink is not responsible. Hey, I LOVE France but I'm not always going to treat my child as if he is French. That would mean I'd be teaching him to smoke cigs as well - you DO know that loads of Europeans smoke, right? Anyway, no 17 year old needs alcohol nor will it enhance their lives as so many of you seem to think it will. Why chance it? You can not train an alcoholic to drink respsonsibly. If your child happens to be an alcoholic, how will you feel knowing you gave them their first drink at age 15? We let go of their hands when they were one because we knew it was inevitable they would walk alone. We let them walk to the bus stop alone when they grew older because we knew it was inevitable that they would be on their own some day. It is NOT inevitable that your child is going to drink-nor is it necessary. Why encourage it? Seems dumb to me.

 

[shortbun]

...


I don't have studies to back this up, just personal experience. I have several family members who were raised in a dry home. They were raging alcoholics later in life. I wonder if making alcohol a forbidden sin their parents decision had the opposite effect.

Since you have 'several family members' who are raging alcoholics, then you should also know that alcoholism is a disease that you are genetically predestined for. Having parents who do not drink has nothing to do with it.
I can not believe anyone would actually suggest this. How about doing a little research on alcoholism since your family is so ravaged by it? It might help you to understand what's going on.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

walk out into the snow and freeze to death, etc.

That happened around here a couple of years ago. A girl was drunk and wandered away from her firends. She ended up getting lost and died. (can't recall if she drowned or died from the elements). It came up on the news recently that her parents are suing the parents of the teen who had the party. The say the parents must have known alcohol was being served.

 

[RitaE]

Honestly, I feel like some of you act like drinking alcohol is necessary. It's not. You don't need to feel like you need to 'train' your children to drink responsibly either. Your drinking responsibly will facilitate that. Allowing a child who's brain has not fully developed to drink is not responsible. Hey, I LOVE France but I'm not always going to treat my child as if he is French. That would mean I'd be teaching him to smoke cigs as well - you DO know that loads of Europeans smoke, right? Anyway, no 17 year old needs alcohol nor will it enhance their lives as so many of you seem to think it will. Why chance it? You can not train an alcoholic to drink respsonsibly. If your child happens to be an alcoholic, how will you feel knowing you gave them their first drink at age 15? We let go of their hands when they were one because we knew it was inevitable they would walk alone. We let them walk to the bus stop alone when they grew older because we knew it was inevitable that they would be on their own some day. It is NOT inevitable that your child is going to drink-nor is it necessary. Why encourage it? Seems dumb to me.

I think you are reading way to much into what people are saying Shortbun. I don't encourage my teens to drink, but I don't forbid it to them either. We had a family dinner last night and there was a bottle of Pinot Noir on the table. They could have a glass. They could also have ice tea, a coke, or a glass of water - their choice. As for the Europe comments I think people are simply pointing out that a 17year old having a glass of wine with his dinner would be no more remarkable than him having a glass of coca cola. It is just a beverage. Nobody would even think to start a message board topic over it.

And no again ... light alcohol consumption in teens has never been shown to cause brain damage. Not even close.

 

[Darsa]

I don't have studies to back this up, just personal experience. I have several family members who were raised in a dry home. They were raging alcoholics later in life. I wonder if making alcohol a forbidden sin their parents decision had the opposite effect.

Interestingly enough, I have two cousins who grew up in a home where there was no restriction on what they drank, and were always allowed alcoholic beverages once they became teenagers. One has been through a couple of rounds of AA, and the other has never admitted to having a problem, but seeing her at family functions leads most of us to believe that it's only a matter of time before something happens, and nothing we say will convince her otherwise. In fact, she's stopped coming to functions because she's tired of hearing us beg her to cool it, and refusing to allow her to drive home with her children when she can barely even navigate on her feet.

Sooo... I dunno

Aaand as soon as I posted the last I knew there would be lots of the "oh oh, proven health benefits etc etc!!" but I'll just stick with giving my DD her multi-vitamins and her B supplements, and hope she doesn't kick off early because she doesn't drink a glass of wine a day, LOL.

 

[RitaE]

Addictive Behavior Disorders are much more complicated than that Darsa.

Even in family were there is a genetic tendency toward alcoholism, nobody is going to be "made" an alcoholic by having a glass of wine at a family dinner and nobody is going to be prevented from becoming alcoholic by their parents forbidding it either.

 

[Darsa]

Addictive Behavior Disorders are much more complicated than that Darsa.

Even in family were there is a genetic tendency toward alcoholism, nobody is going to be "made" an alcoholic by having a glass of wine at a family dinner and nobody is going to be prevented from becoming alcoholic by their parents forbidding it either.

Ugh, I never said that anyone was made an alcoholic by anything, YEESH!!! I was offering a contrasting opinion to one made earlier; if you saw the quote attached to my previous post you would see that. I don't care why they drink or why they don't drink or why their mother now is dying from liver failure due to all of the alcoholic beverages she consumed over the years (which is kind of ironic considering my mom died of liver failure and never touched the stuff). All I was doing was showing that possibly it's not just in-home prohibition that causes people to become raging alcoholics.

Yeesh.

 

[Disney Doll]

I would allow my children to drink in my presence when they were of the legal age for drinking, which is 21.

I would caution them that when they were not in my presence if they chose to drink to excess that they might suffer the consequences should their bad choice lead them into trouble.

That's basically what my parents did. I do have a lot of alcoholism in my extended family (unlces, aunts) so I am thinking that perhaps there is some sort of "genetic" or "hereditary" component, but I did not get that gene. I am able to enjoy a glass of wine or a fancy mixed drink (the kind with umbrellas and lots of fruit ) and not turn into a falling down alcoholic.

 

[Deb & Bill]

Here in Louisiana, I don't think you could actually say the drinking age is 21. It is to the point that the Federal government is happy, but. . .

Okay, it's legal for a kid to be in a restaurant with his/her parents or guardians and drink, no matter what age.

If kids are at a private residence or any private place, like a hunting camp or whathaveyou, and drinks are available, it is legal for the kids to drink, whether or not the parents have given permission.....

Good grief. We have a big enough problem having people take Louisiana seriously without posting this.

...Alcoholism is a problem, but not as deadly as the obesity problem in this country. Drink wine - not soda! Maybe then we can be as thin as the rest of the world.

Never saw an motor vehicle accident caused by someone who ate too much. Never saw road rage by someone who ate too much. Never saw anyone beat up a spouse because they ate too much. Never heard about the story of someone falling off the balcony at the Spring Break hotel because they ate too much.

Yes, obesity is a problem, but you have to eat to live. You don't have to drink alcohol to live. We should be teaching our children to back away from the chili cheese fries.

Honestly, I feel like some of you act like drinking alcohol is necessary. It's not. You don't need to feel like you need to 'train' your children to drink responsibly either. Your drinking responsibly will facilitate that. Allowing a child who's brain has not fully developed to drink is not responsible. Hey, I LOVE France but I'm not always going to treat my child as if he is French. That would mean I'd be teaching him to smoke cigs as well - you DO know that loads of Europeans smoke, right? Anyway, no 17 year old needs alcohol nor will it enhance their lives as so many of you seem to think it will. Why chance it? You can not train an alcoholic to drink respsonsibly. If your child happens to be an alcoholic, how will you feel knowing you gave them their first drink at age 15? We let go of their hands when they were one because we knew it was inevitable they would walk alone. We let them walk to the bus stop alone when they grew older because we knew it was inevitable that they would be on their own some day. It is NOT inevitable that your child is going to drink-nor is it necessary. Why encourage it? Seems dumb to me.

How many of you purchase cigarettes for your children who are too young to buy them themselves so they can smoke safely at home?

 

[mjkacmom]

Never saw an motor vehicle accident caused by someone who ate too much. Never saw road rage by someone who ate too much. Never saw anyone beat up a spouse because they ate too much. Never heard about the story of someone falling off the balcony at the Spring Break hotel because they ate too much.

Yes, obesity is a problem, but you have to eat to live. You don't have to drink alcohol to live. We should be teaching our children to back away from the chili cheese fries.



How many of you purchase cigarettes for your children who are too young to buy them themselves so they can smoke safely at home?

You do have to eat to live. You do not need to eat a bag of chips, or a 1/2 gallon of ice cream to live. You do not have to drink soda, but many people drink it on a daily basis. In this house, it's a treat. Not only do we try to eat responsibly, we also make sure our children do as well (if they ask how many cookies they can have, I tell them to read the label). I don't restrict junk food, I just teach them how to eat it in moderation. When they're older, I'll do the same with alcohol (dd13 has taken a sip of champagne, and thinks it's gross). I'm not going to restrict something completely, and then send them off into the world (which is what many parents of college kids who binge drink do).

 

[surfergirl602]

I won't allow it. If something were to ever happen to one of those kids, I would be held responsible.