Allowing your underaged teen to drink, your thoughts?

[Becky2005]

This one is an easy one for me. I don't drink, so the answer is unless they are providing the alcohol themselves then they aren't drinking in front of me.

There is no way I would give any minor alcohol, even with their parent's permission, I can guarantee you if there was a problem, the parents would turn on a dime that it was your fault their child had a problem plus the law wouldn't care if you had permission.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

It depends on context. I will allow my kids to have a drink as teens in appropriate social settings, like a holiday toast or a glass of wine with a special meal, but I will also set common sense limits. I won't be enabling drunkenness and I will not under any circumstances be providing alcohol to any children not my own. And I absolutely will not be teaching, allowing, or participating in drinking games with my kids; I'm sure they'll experience those things on their own as young adults, but it isn't something I intend to introduce or encourage.

Exactly. I don't want to create a taboo, but I'm not going to allow drinking games or drunkenness, and I will under no circumstances let a non-child of mine a drop!

 

[Planogirl]

My son is 17 and I would allow him to have a beer or glass of wine at home. I would not allow his friends to do so though and DS could not leave that day after having a drink.

He has shown no interest in doing so.

 

[Piglet4Ever]

I don't have children, but if I did there would be no way I would let my child drink. DH and I don't drink and I have watched too many of my family members ruin their lives with alcohol . People think that one or two drinks every once in a while won't hurt, don't count on that.

 

[mjaclyn]

The legal age is 21...not 17 or 18, but 21. If we lived in Europe or another country with no drinking age it would be different. As long as I live here in the USA and the legal drinking age is 21, that is how old my kids have to be in order to have a drink. IMO

 

[4greatboys]

I allowed my oldest son to drink at a friends graduation party (same graduating class). The parents were not allowing anyone to drive home. He had some beer but was not trashed by means. It was a special occasion and I do not regret letting him do it.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

Here in Louisiana, I don't think you could actually say the drinking age is 21. It is to the point that the Federal government is happy, but. . .

Okay, it's legal for a kid to be in a restaurant with his/her parents or guardians and drink, no matter what age.

If kids are at a private residence or any private place, like a hunting camp or whathaveyou, and drinks are available, it is legal for the kids to drink, whether or not the parents have given permission.

It is not legal to sell alcohol to someone under 21. It is not legal for someone under the age of 21 to drink alcohol in a public place without his/her parents being present.

 

[Darsa]

Nope, we can manage to have fun without the added enjoyment of drunken brawling, drooling, vomiting, hangovers, etc etc... No matter what age we are, and ESPECIALLY when it's illegal.

 

[Elmo9607]

My parents would let me drink in their prescence when I was about 17. They would let me have a small fruity drink, or one bottle of Mike's or something. I never got drunk in front of them. Occasionally I would get small sips of fruity drinks my mom would get at a restaurant or something when I was little.

I turned 21 last month, and managed to stay (fairly ) sober the whole time. I celebrated in Vegas. When I talk about it, people always say, "But you were in Vegas! Turning 21! Why didn't you get trashed!!?? What a waste!"

I simply tell them, "Because I wanted to remember my trip!"

 

[Acklander]

There are plenty of beverages to choose from so I don't get why it's such a big thing that people want their kids to drink alcohol especially underage.

It's to teach them that drinking is not a big deal.

 

[Acklander]

Nope, we can manage to have fun without the added enjoyment of drunken brawling, drooling, vomiting, hangovers, etc etc... No matter what age we are, and ESPECIALLY when it's illegal.

I haven't seen one parent on here mention getting drunk. There is a big difference between having a drink and getting drunk. I've been drinking for about 35 years now and have never been drunken, brawling, drooling, vomiting or hungover.

 

[mitchfishguard]

Yes I would allow my 17/18 year old to drink in front of me. I would not allow then to get drunk, or supply them with their own 12 pack but a beer, glass of wine or even a margherita wouldn't be a big deal to have at a family party. I grew up in a family that let us teens have a drink here and there, not really a big deal.

i agree with you. we were the same with our kids. only twice did they get wasted. twice when we were in disney. at home with a couple of friends and no damage was caused. if you take the "absolutely not" route then you are unfortunately strengthening the "behind your back" culture. it seems you and i both chose the two options 1. dont you dare drink, (knowing they will ,and almost certainly to eccess) and 2. yes you can drink (but its in front of me and in moderation. if this works you can do this on a regular basis)

 

[mitchfishguard]

This one is an easy one for me. I don't drink, so the answer is unless they are providing the alcohol themselves then they aren't drinking in front of me.

There is no way I would give any minor alcohol, even with their parent's permission, I can guarantee you if there was a problem, the parents would turn on a dime that it was your fault their child had a problem plus the law wouldn't care if you had permission.

i hadnt seen this post so i must come in and wholeheartedly agree. there is no way am i for giving tpo others. i made this quite clear to my sons friends parents. they would certainly blame you to free themselves if guilt. id let my kids drink every day but NEVER allow anybody else to. sounds contradictory, but its not

 

[RitaE]

If we have wine with dinner then my teens will have a glass. Sometimes if they work out in the yard for 3 or 4 hours, they'll have a beer with Dad. No big deal.

Originally Posted by Darsa View Post
Nope, we can manage to have fun without the added enjoyment of drunken brawling, drooling, vomiting, hangovers, etc etc... No matter what age we are, and ESPECIALLY when it's illegal.

yeah, to me that is kind of the point. Drinking in our house isn't "drunken brawling, drooling, vomiting or hangovers. It's having a drink and then .... that's all. The same way you'd sit on the deck and have a coke or a glass of ice tea. That's it. No more, no less.

Somehow we've managed to do this for years without vomit and ruining our lives. It's the way most of the world handles alcohol.

 

[dejr_8]

Old enough to be asked to die for your country then you are old enough to have a beer at home.

 

[golfgal]

The legal age is 21...not 17 or 18, but 21. If we lived in Europe or another country with no drinking age it would be different. As long as I live here in the USA and the legal drinking age is 21, that is how old my kids have to be in order to have a drink. IMO

No, the legal age to buy alcohol is 21 but you are LEGAL to drink in your own home.

 

[Aardvarks]

Uk point of view

It is legal here for people to have wine, beer, cider or perry with a full sit down meal over the age of 14 in a licenced restaurant

We have two sons, aged 19 and 17 and they have both been offered wine or beer at home with meals since 13.

My oldest has been able to get into bars since he was 16 (legal age here 18) but we have no UK Id cards.

Because they have grown up with quality wines, beers and whisky, my sons enjoy the alcohol in moderation and dont just go out and buy the cheap stuff to get tanked up.

My eldest has been drunk to sickness stage perhaps twice. youngest never.

It is real pain for us to come to the USA and the lads not get a glass of wine or beer with a meal. But just love coming so much, its a price we have to pay.

There are worse things than teaching your kids sensible drinking, we do see quite old children in thie 20's drinking far too much when we are on vacation in the USA.

When my eldest was 19, he and his 20yo friend came to the USA on vacation to WDW knowing that they could not hire a car and not legally get alcohol, although they did take in a bottle of JD to have with a cola in their room. This was bought legally in the UK, but we are still not sure what would have happened has someone found them having a JD and coke ??

 

[Darsa]

I haven't seen one parent on here mention getting drunk. There is a big difference between having a drink and getting drunk. I've been drinking for about 35 years now and have never been drunken, brawling, drooling, vomiting or hungover.

Don't really care who did or didn't say what. There was a question, I answered it with MY opinion and thoughts. As I usually say, JMHO, YMMV. Just because I think drinking is a stupid waste of time and health doesn't mean that everyone else has to think the same and I'm not asking you to. MY opinion is just that; mine. Only time that would get meshed is if the drinking caused harm to me or my family.

YMMV

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

Old enough to be asked to die for your country then you are old enough to have a beer at home.

Exactly!

Yes, I was allowed to drink with my parents. When I would go to a party underage, my dad would buy me a 4 pack of wine coolers - not enough to get drunk on.

Family celebrations, Christmas etc - everyone over 12 gets a glass of champagne or wine with dinner.

I think keeping alcohol forbidden makes it more appealing - take away the mystery and its no big deal.

 

[golfgal]

Exactly!

Yes, I was allowed to drink with my parents. When I would go to a party underage, my dad would buy me a 4 pack of wine coolers - not enough to get drunk on.

Family celebrations, Christmas etc - everyone over 12 gets a glass of champagne or wine with dinner.

I think keeping alcohol forbidden makes it more appealing - take away the mystery and its no big deal.

Well, that would depend on the person-I couldn't drink 4 wine coolers and not get drunk .