Agitated Stranger Slaps Crying Tot At Store

[tonilea]

I'd stomp his sorry hide into a little greasy spot.

Seriously, I cannot imagine someone touching my child like that!

 

[MonkeyDishwasher]

I wonder if his picture will be appearing on peopleofwalmart.com soon....

 

[FireDancer]

I am surely going to get some flames for this one.....

Now I have no children of my own and have ALOT of patience. HOWEVER......when I see anyone with a child or several and one is screaming and crying and is very very loud and nothing is being done, that would annoy the you know what out of me. The parents should be able to control their children and not just tune it out. What about the other people that are around? They are just supposed to tune that out as well? That is not fair to them, they are trying to get done in line or finish their shopping too.

His comment was not nessessary and him acutally touching the child that many times!!!!!!!!! That is crazy, but how long where they online? How long was the kid crying? If I was online for 15 mins or longer and a child was doing that I would be annoyed and I would say something to the parents. You are in a public place with other people who don't have the same temperment as you do with your child, its called respect for others.

Just like some who have said they can't stand people talking on their cell phones well maybe they don't like your screaming kid(s) either.

JMO

Well, I guess it is a matter of the appropriate response. Children cry, I'm sure all of us did too. Sometimes they do so at inopportune times. I can understand being in a long line and having the kid behind you crying is annoying but what is yelling at the child or even repremanding the parent going to do? Either the parent is embarrased and trying to get out of the situation as quickly as possible and saying something is only going to anger or embarrass them or the parent doesn't care and will ignore you anyway.

I would never say anything to a parent of a crying child. The only time I would ever really say anything is if I was standing there and the kid was hitting me or something and that would just be something polite to draw the parent's attention, not a right hook to the cranium.

All that being said there are places where kids should not be there until they are old enough to behave. Wal-Mart and McDonald's are not these places.

 

[metime]

I only quoted a couple of people I did not mean that the guy doesn't deserve to have a parent get angry with him, or that it was wrong--I just am surprised that pretty much everyone thinks their initial response would be to hurt the person who hurt their child rather than to comfort their child and be she s/he is okay. I think both are appropriate and reasonable--I was jsut so any people REALLY would mean that anger would overwhelm concern as first response.

I would resort to physical violence if it there is even a implication of physical violence between a grown stranger and my child.

I would not stand there and wait for some one to finish slapping my child 4 times before I react. My first response would be to stop the person dead in their tracks rather than wait for the attack to end.

There are parents who don't react because they are clueless as to what is going on. I take no offense if a stranger tells my child to stop doing something wrong in fact I prefer it,and back them up if it is ligitamate, but If any one gets in her face and adopts an intimidating posture or threatens me that they will physicaly do something is going to throw me into a rage because I will not to wait for my child to become a victim.

I think alot of that has to do with growing up in an abusive house. I don't hit but I also am very in tune with how an abusive person acts and reacts.

I had to react once in a situation where some dumb parent put her finger in my child's face and I grabbed that ladies finger so fast ( my inlaws were freaked out) . I am sure my posture and voice freaked everyone out and I think my daughter felt pretty consoled by me stopping the woman. I was prepared to get Jerry Springer on the finger waver. My children have never seen me hit anyone or even threaten it, but I can get into that mode very quickly.

 

[metime]

Anyway, if you see a messy brunette at the thrift store and she says "You are, like, the best parent ever" while your child is having a meltdown because you just said "no, no we do NOT play under the purses" and then enforced the no-playing-under-the-purse-rack rule? She really does mean that she thinks you are a much better parent than she could've ever been and that she is thoroughly impressed and is happy YOUR kids will be adults when she's old and in diapers.

When my 1st dd was 2 we were in a grocery store shopping and we were both bored. We went up and down the rows and I would say "can you find something yellow?" and we would play games. I had a lady come up to me and said, "I have been one row ahead of you guys the entire time and it is so nice to hear you engaging with your child, you are such a good parent."

I was floored because I did it so I wouldn't have a whining kid for my own benefit. I would pull my hair out of my head if I had a whinning child in tow everywhere. I appreciated hearing someone say they thought I was a good parent.

I was just not thinking I have to go shopipng so the world must listen to my child scream. I have been through public temper tantrums but we leave and some one gets to hang out in their room for a nap or time out (could be me or the kid, most often both).

 

[downsouth]

I would have decked him if it was my child (I'm a dad not a mom), and I would have decked him if I saw him do it to someone elses child. Either way he would have been bleeding.

 

[pixiewings71]

I am surely going to get some flames for this one.....

Now I have no children of my own and have ALOT of patience. HOWEVER......when I see anyone with a child or several and one is screaming and crying and is very very loud and nothing is being done, that would annoy the you know what out of me. The parents should be able to control their children and not just tune it out. What about the other people that are around? They are just supposed to tune that out as well? That is not fair to them, they are trying to get done in line or finish their shopping too.

His comment was not nessessary and him acutally touching the child that many times!!!!!!!!! That is crazy, but how long where they online? How long was the kid crying? If I was online for 15 mins or longer and a child was doing that I would be annoyed and I would say something to the parents. You are in a public place with other people who don't have the same temperment as you do with your child, its called respect for others.

Just like some who have said they can't stand people talking on their cell phones well maybe they don't like your screaming kid(s) either.

JMO

Honestly, before posting you need to have children of your own. You need to experience this to know what you would do. That said, if my kid started to throw a fit to get their way it wouldn't happen, they'd be in the cart and ignored for the duration of the fit. My children don't rule me, neither does someone who thinks I'm being mean. We see meltdowns all the time, from children AND adults, when we see it our family comment is "someone needs a royal nappy nap", we even say it to each other when we are getting out of line. LOL Nothing changes the mood or opens your eyes to your own attitude quicker than your DD9 saying "gee Mom, someone needs a royal nappy nap" LOL

 

[Fintastic]

In a restaurant you should remove your child, absolutely. In a grocery store sometimes all you can do is ignore it and finish your shopping. Some non-parents don't understand that your kids don't always shut up just because they're told to. Believe it or not, sometimes the best course of action when dealing with a tantrum is to ignore it. And unfortunately sometimes tantrums do happen in public. As much as you hate hearing it, I'd be willing to bed that the parents are doing their best to get out of there as fast as they can!

 

[HelenePA]

If he's already slapped a 2 yr old multiple times I'm getting the kids out of there before he can do anything else to them!

 

[jrmasm]

Honestly, before posting you need to have children of your own. You need to experience this to know what you would do. That said, if my kid started to throw a fit to get their way it wouldn't happen, they'd be in the cart and ignored for the duration of the fit. My children don't rule me, neither does someone who thinks I'm being mean. We see meltdowns all the time, from children AND adults, when we see it our family comment is "someone needs a royal nappy nap", we even say it to each other when we are getting out of line. LOL Nothing changes the mood or opens your eyes to your own attitude quicker than your DD9 saying "gee Mom, someone needs a royal nappy nap" LOL

I have children. I never subjected total strangers to their fits. They got loud and we got out of there.

That man should not have smacked that kid. Period. End of Story.

That said, I hate being subjected to long drawn out screaming fits when I am out in public. I'll have you a minute to get the situation under control but if you can't, I'd really like you to leave.

 

[DizBelle]

good for you! LOL

over the summer we were in Target, I was looking for my size in a stack of t shirts, hubby was there and the kids were giggling and just going around in circles, not causing havoc, just being kids waiting for mom,
well this woman walking by yells over " control your kids"

now they weren't running up the aisle, or anything, just going in a circle around the bin I was looking in. and there was no one else in the area i was looking in.
so my hubby yells back at her
" calm down lady, weren't you ever a kid?? relax!"

well she shut up and looked away, and kept walking fast. guess she didn't expect that response.

Maybe someone else wanted to come look in the bin that your kids were circling but couldn't because of the parade. That would definitely be imposing on other people. Did you think of that?

 

[DizBelle]

I admit I don't like kids running wild. But what is inappropriate in one place is just fine in another. Maybe running through a crowded store is a no-no, but running in a park is expected. Last year, I had an encounter with a woman who had delusional expectations of what it should be like to eat at McDonald's.

It was a school holiday and some of us took our kids (preschool to age 8 or so) to a McD's for lunch. It was a new one and we had no idea it had no playland. But we'd all agreed to meet there, so as we arrived one family at a time, we just decided to stay and eat there anyway. We'd go to a park after. The booths there have walls that extend upward for a few feet, so every booth is self-contained, if that makes sense. If you are sitting in one booth next to another booth, there is a wall a few feet high separating you from each other.

The first batch of kids picked a large booth and sat there. They were being normal kids. The younger ones had started to want to wander outside the booth, so we'd told them to sit down and stay in that booth, because other people were trying to eat. It's not like we were ignoring them and letting them do as they pleased. A woman walked in dressed in business attire and she was so tense she could have carried a quarter in her hiney cheeks. She got her food and WHERE did she choose to sit in that whole place??? Yep, right next to our kids. She picked THAT spot.

Then, as they giggled and laughed and told jokes, etc. she got more and more miffed. She rolled her eyes nonstop. (Another mom and I were in a booth facing the kids so we could watch them better....That also let us watch HER better.) Next came the muttering. Then the muttering became a stage whisper, said loudly enough so we could hear....About how "someone" needed to control those kids. At that point, I'd had enough.

I said, "Excuse me, lady. Those kids are doing just fine. They're being kids at a McDonald's. I have a newsflash for you. If you wanted a nice, quiet, peaceful place to eat your lunch, you came to the wrong place. You should have gone to ____ or _____, and not sat next to a booth full of kids at a McDonald's on a school holiday. Is that clear?" Then I think I asked her if she had anything else she wanted to say, but amazingly she'd decided to shut up, shovel down that hamburger and scurry out of there.

BTW, I agree with the previous poster who said the time to have acted was when the old guy threatened to "shut up" the child in Walmart. I'd have called the police then and there and probably have screamed bloody murder to boot. Or gone straight to Customer Service and have security follow him until the police arrive. He broke the law when he threatened the child.

It seems that it doesn't matter WHERE you are, if it is not a playground, then it is in appropriate to be loud and run around. Perhaps absolute silence should not be expected. But it is not wrong to expect civil behavior in restaurant - ANY restaurant. It does sound like maybe the kids were being civil but I can't tell entirely from the description above. If they were sitting properly at the table and kept the volume to a reasonable level, I believe it acceptable for McDonalds.

 

[DizBelle]

That is unbelievable. Yeah, it's annoying to be around a crying child, but sometimes you just have to deal with it. Last week I went to an early dinner at an Indian Restaurant near my school (about 4:00pm). When I entered I was the only one in the place, then a woman, her mother, and two year old daughter came in. The child was crying when they entered and crying when I left about 45 minutes later. Would I have loved to have been able to say something and get the child to shut up or leave the restaurant? Sure. But it's a public place and you can't expect peace and quiet, so I just read my book and tried my best to tune it out.

No, you can't expect absolute silence but I do think it is ok to expect civil behavior. A child crying for 45 minutes straight is not reasonable. The maximum amount of time other people should have to endure bad behavior is as long as it takes for the parent to stop the behavior or remove the child. If that means you have to skip out on dinner, then that's the way it is.

 

[DizBelle]

Well, I guess it is a matter of the appropriate response. Children cry, I'm sure all of us did too. Sometimes they do so at inopportune times. I can understand being in a long line and having the kid behind you crying is annoying but what is yelling at the child or even repremanding the parent going to do? Either the parent is embarrased and trying to get out of the situation as quickly as possible and saying something is only going to anger or embarrass them or the parent doesn't care and will ignore you anyway.

I would never say anything to a parent of a crying child. The only time I would ever really say anything is if I was standing there and the kid was hitting me or something and that would just be something polite to draw the parent's attention, not a right hook to the cranium.

All that being said there are places where kids should not be there until they are old enough to behave. Wal-Mart and McDonald's are not these places.

This sounds like you think it is ok if kids misbehave all they want at Wal-Mart and McDonald's and everyone else will just have to deal with it. I wouldn't think that the job of being a parent stops as you cross the threshold of Wal-Mart and McDonalds.

 

[DizBelle]

When my 1st dd was 2 we were in a grocery store shopping and we were both bored. We went up and down the rows and I would say "can you find something yellow?" and we would play games. I had a lady come up to me and said, "I have been one row ahead of you guys the entire time and it is so nice to hear you engaging with your child, you are such a good parent."

I was floored because I did it so I wouldn't have a whining kid for my own benefit. I would pull my hair out of my head if I had a whinning child in tow everywhere. I appreciated hearing someone say they thought I was a good parent.

I was just not thinking I have to go shopipng so the world must listen to my child scream. I have been through public temper tantrums but we leave and some one gets to hang out in their room for a nap or time out (could be me or the kid, most often both).

You've got the right idea!

 

[EMom]

It seems that it doesn't matter WHERE you are, if it is not a playground, then it is in appropriate to be loud and run around. Perhaps absolute silence should not be expected. But it is not wrong to expect civil behavior in restaurant - ANY restaurant. It does sound like maybe the kids were being civil but I can't tell entirely from the description above. If they were sitting properly at the table and kept the volume to a reasonable level, I believe it acceptable for McDonalds.

There were several children sitting in a walled in booth, laughing and giggling. The mothers were sitting at a table near them and we could hold a conversation just fine, so they couldn't have been that loud. All the other people around us were having conversations, so they were fine. Let's face it, children laugh and giggle at McD's. She saw the booth full of laughing a giggling kids and CHOSE to sit next to them, of all places. She could have sat elsewhere, but picked the very seat that was doomed to irritate her sourpuss self the most. I almost think she was one of those who wanted to mouth off about "kids needing to be controlled" because she got off on it. Why else would she have picked the ONE place to sit that was next to children? She just never expected to be called on it.

If our kids had been hanging over their booth and getting into her space, that would have been forbidden. But they were walled in. If they were yelling, that would have been forbidden because it gives me a headache. And as I said, some of the preschoolers had tried to wander around the restaurant BEFORE she arrived, but we'd put a stop to that ASAP and made them sit at their booth. So....The day I go to McD's and get huffy because kids are laughing and giggling is the day that my expectations are seriously out of whack. And hers were. She'd have probably had a full meltdown if she'd have stayed 20 more minutes because that's when about 4 other families with kids arrived. That would have put her completely over the edge.

KIDS!!!!....at McDonald's.....What is the world coming to?

 

[Liberty Belle]

I have children. I never subjected total strangers to their fits. They got loud and we got out of there.

That man should not have smacked that kid. Period. End of Story.

That said, I hate being subjected to long drawn out screaming fits when I am out in public. I'll have you a minute to get the situation under control but if you can't, I'd really like you to leave.

I'll remember that if I'm ever in your home.

 

[DizBelle]

There were several children sitting in a walled in booth, laughing and giggling. The mothers were sitting at a table near them and we could hold a conversation just fine, so they couldn't have been that loud. All the other people around us were having conversations, so they were fine. Let's face it, children laugh and giggle at McD's. She saw the booth full of laughing a giggling kids and CHOSE to sit next to them, of all places. She could have sat elsewhere, but picked the very seat that was doomed to irritate her sourpuss self the most. I almost think she was one of those who wanted to mouth off about "kids needing to be controlled" because she got off on it. Why else would she have picked the ONE place to sit that was next to children? She just never expected to be called on it.

If our kids had been hanging over their booth and getting into her space, that would have been forbidden. But they were walled in. If they were yelling, that would have been forbidden because it gives me a headache. And as I said, some of the preschoolers had tried to wander around the restaurant BEFORE she arrived, but we'd put a stop to that ASAP and made them sit at their booth. So....The day I go to McD's and get huffy because kids are laughing and giggling is the day that my expectations are seriously out of whack. And hers were. She'd have probably had a full meltdown if she'd have stayed 20 more minutes because that's when about 4 other families with kids arrived. That would have put her completely over the edge.

KIDS!!!!....at McDonald's.....What is the world coming to?

I think you read my first two sentences and then got upset. I get that, I can react before I read the entire post too. But if you read to the end of my post, you'll see that I said that it seemed that you indicated they were behaving reasonably but I could really tell from your description. Now that I have a further description, I agree that they were behaving reasonably. They were in their seats and their volume was reasonable. So, YAY FOR YOU for having the children behave civilly even in a fast food restaurant. And PHOOEY ON THAT LADY for being a weenie.

Kids are absolutely welcome at McDonalds. As long as they don't act like zoo animals - which I don't think yours were.

 

[npmommie]

Maybe someone else wanted to come look in the bin that your kids were circling but couldn't because of the parade. That would definitely be imposing on other people. Did you think of that?

If you read my whole post.you would have read where I said there was no one else in the whole area, meaning the entire womans department, there was no one shopping in that area at the time I was there, which was a whole 10 min maybe, probably not even. ..........the woman who yelled was walking past the department headed toward the front of the store

so your theory is not relevant. if someone else had been in the vicinity of where my kids were "parading" as you called it, then yes, I would have made them stand still so as not to be in anyone's way.
heaven forbid a child does not stand at attention perfectly silent just in case someone else comes by.

 

[npmommie]

Kids are absolutely welcome at McDonalds. As long as they don't act like zoo animals - which I don't think yours were.

what about the adults who act like zoo animals at mcdonalds?