Agitated Stranger Slaps Crying Tot At Store

[jenrose66]

I don't believe in the 'ignore' method of dealing with kids. Speaking for myself, I can say with the utmost certaintly that I would never allow my child to scream and yell and disrupt a store-full of people, as I find that type of attitude selfish. If my child had some extreme mental issues and, literally, had no control over their behavior (for true medical reasons), I would plan my shopping trips at times when I could leave them home. People need to think about others when they choose to let their children scream bloody murder in inappropriate places and completely ignore the behavior. It's the right thing to do. Do you really want to live in a world where everyone only cares about themselves? Think about that. People who "ignore" their children haven't learned, or refuse to use, other tools/methods to handle the situation. And there ARE other ways....you have to start when the child is young and be consistant. Some children are more stubborn than others, but if you are committed to changing or redirecting this behavior, you will learn ways to deal, other than, 'I'm going to let Johnny or Suzy pierce the ears of everyone in this store and I don't give a d... because they are strangers and they don't matter'. This ignore 'method' truly sends the wrong message to kids, and those kids are not going to learn how to cope when they are older. I feel that ignoring bad behavior is the eqivalent to condoning it. Who cares if Johnny gets louder if you leave the store. Take away his favorite video game or give him some sort of consequence when you get home (extra chores, early bedtime, no TV, etc...). Good behavior gets rewarded; bad behavior has consequences. I really respect parents who at least attempt to do something out of respect for everyone else.

Kids who are quietly whining or complaining.... it's gonna happen sometimes---but does not disrupt the whole store; however, loud, and especially long tantrums.... I don't know how parents tune them out-- when I see this, I think 'neglect'. END QUOTE

A two year old, and even some 3 year olds, don't understand having privileges taken away due to misbehaving in public. A child needs to be disciplined in the moment of bad behavior, they won't connect the bad behavior done at a store 20 minutes ago to a toy taken away at home.

When you tell some children no they have a tantrum. If you tell them to be quiet or engage them in conversation about what's bothering them the behavior escalates. If my just turned 3 year old son asks me for something and I tell him no he'll start to whine, if I try to have a conversation about why he can't have or do something it will turn into a huge tantrum. Sometimes I can change the subject sometimes I can't. If I see that changing the subject won't work I just ignore him, the fit runs it's course and that's the end of it. It usually subsides within a few minutes.

My husband and I work opposite shifts, my family works during the day, sometimes I have to run errands with my kids. If they have a fit, I'm sorry, but life goes on...

 

[5 'LIL *TWINKERS*]

That is what that pitiful excuse for a man would be seeing from me along with some 4-letter expletives and smoke coming from my ears, the second those words were directed at my child.

Then I would have grabbed my cell, call 911 and then chased down a manager. I tend to have a mouth that I don't keep shut when it comes to my kids. I don't care who you are, some not-so-nice verbal responses will be coming through very loud and clear. Its happened a few times with some old biddies who won't keep their opinions to themselves.

If anyone ever laid a finger on my child, a huge can of whoop-**** (insert other word there) would be opened up on them!!

Nobody disaplines my child exept for me or my dh.

 

[metime]

I take my children everywhere, and I mean EVERYWHERE with me and I have since they were born. They have always been predictable because I knew when they would be hungry and need a nap or a diaper change. If they were teething we stayed home because they felt bad, if I felt bad I wouldn't want to go anywhere.

I completely get that not everyone in the world loves my children and my children should not be everyone elses burden.

I have a friend who lets her 15 month old run up and down the isle on a plane. Every one is always annoyed everywhere she goes. Of course she just thinks that is fun for him so every else should get over it. In reality she should have thought of way to occupy her child other than using the plane, grocery store, Restaurant table, or shopping cart as her personal Jungle Gym.

From the time my children were able to speak they knew what was expected. I stop them from being annoying by watching them or bringing something to occupy their time. If they were in the begining stages of acting up (it is never all of a sudden) I stopped it then and there. People would always comment on how well behaved my kids were/are even if in my opinion they weren't because a lot of time it seemed that I was constantly telling them to stop something. As their mother I was always aware of what they were doing way before it was obvious to anyone else.

My children from the age of three started looking at other people's children and noticing how annoying they were. Once my youngest (3 at the time) said "thanks for making sure I don't act like that kid. How embarrassing!"

My kids have even left stores and said "Geez those kids were awful! Why didn't their parents do anything?" The bottom line is people underestimate their children all the time or they are just really lazy parents.


That said I would still have hurt the guy for even looking like he would hurt my child.

 

[Christine]

I think its funny how many of you are swooping in to do exactly what this boundariless woman in Walmart did, which is to swoop in without invitation and tell me how to raise my kids. Since my kids aren't around to witness the dribble I'm good with letting it slide. Knock yourselves out with your opinions and proclamations, I still don't accept that I'm wrong and I don't feel even the tiniest bit bad about it. I'm a grown up and I don't need anyone anywhere to validate my thoughts or behaviors.

I happen to think it is, what were the words used? Classless, childish on & on & on of all of you to drag the topic away from the OP's original subject of assault on a child to chastise me because you think I was too hard on some nosy Walmart hag. Carry on if you must but I think it's disrespectful to the OP, and me quite frankly, but since I'm pretty thick skinned I defer to the OP.

I am off to have a wonderful Sunday

Oh, okay, now that YOU want to get back to the OP's original topic then I guess we will? You didn't have a problem digressing onto your own story but since no one agreed with your behavior in your story, you're moving on? Okaaaayyyyy.....

 

[Plumeria]

I put myself between her and my kids , told her quietly and calmly" There is a line and you just stepped over it", dropped all the towels in my hands right on the floor at her feet and told her, "Now you can clean up MY mess" turned my back on her and walked away.

Even now it irritates me that she took my conversation with my own kids as permission to step in but it taught me a lesson abut how people read situations. I now correct my kids privately because some people are just not quite right.

As for people who do not like to be around kids I say too bad, shop at night when they are all in bed, do not expect overwrought Mom's to go out of their way for you when you are the one with the problem.

WOW! What a great example to set for your kids. No wonder they misbehave. Maybe people like you should be shopping at night while the rest of us sleep.

 

[wic0721]

Oh I'd be in jail, touch my kid.....game on dude!

 

[ginna74]

well.... I guess you can put me in the "I would be in jail" too.... OMG he would have been sorry he messed with my baby!

 

[metime]

OK so I was watching 'Panic Room' and a scene reminded me of this thread.

Jody Foster's character hits the bad guy over the railing. Then she looks over the railing and sees him laying there. I would have run down there and hit him a few more times with the sledge hammer. Instead She looks at her kid who is walking talking and does not seem to be hurt and starts asking if they touched her and blah blah blah. Mean while guess who gets up and attacks again...


I know this is a movie but I think in an effort to stop any potential for another attack I would just take care of it and leave no doubt. It is useless to be concerned for the state of the victim until victim is out of harms way.

 

[carrie6466]

I am surely going to get some flames for this one.....

Now I have no children of my own and have ALOT of patience. HOWEVER......when I see anyone with a child or several and one is screaming and crying and is very very loud and nothing is being done, that would annoy the you know what out of me. The parents should be able to control their children and not just tune it out. What about the other people that are around? They are just supposed to tune that out as well? That is not fair to them, they are trying to get done in line or finish their shopping too.

His comment was not nessessary and him acutally touching the child that many times!!!!!!!!! That is crazy, but how long where they online? How long was the kid crying? If I was online for 15 mins or longer and a child was doing that I would be annoyed and I would say something to the parents. You are in a public place with other people who don't have the same temperment as you do with your child, its called respect for others.

Just like some who have said they can't stand people talking on their cell phones well maybe they don't like your screaming kid(s) either.

JMO

When you say that your children were being a pain to you and only you that does not seem to be the case because someone else in a public place aka store overheard whatever was going on and felt that instead of someone else going to a manager (complaining) saying kids were making a mess or whathave you. She did her job and corrected your children. I have been in a few stores recently, when a sales clerk did. One was a clothing store and there were 2 young children running and yelling around the store as their Mother, grandmother and Aunt were all there watching Mom try on clothes.

The cashier asked the mother to please not let her children run around the store. She stopped taking care of a customer walked over and asked her nicely and politely. After another 10 minutes of nothing being done. The cashier yelled at her children. They were running in and out of clothing racks bumping into people etc. She had every right to do so. That is a public place and it is her job to keep things under control in her store.

So should that mother be upset and throw all the clothes that she was trying on at her feet and say you take care of it, you can't talk to my children like that?

I also remember the old saying you break it you bought it. I have also seen many kids break things and parents don't do anything but put it back and walk away. If that was me back in the day...Whoa nelly I would have been in BIG trouble and probably gotten a spank.

Also you say you wanted to teach your children that if someone messes with them, they need to stand up for themselves. Now that I understand completely and I do agree with you, but when that someone is an adult who is asking them to respect something that isn't theirs is a totally different lesson.

I usually stay away from stuff like this, but as you have no children (first bolded statement), I'll share a little information with you.

There is no one else whose job it is but myself and my dh to correct my child. Certainly not the sales girl at Walmart. If she were actually doing her job, instead of concerning herself with someone else's parenting skills, perhaps there wouldn't be such messy stores and long lines.

Regarding the third bolded statement no one has a RIGHT to yell at my children. Certainly not a cashier in a clothing store.

Maybe one day you will understand the difference between the job of being a clerk in walmart or a cashier in a clothing shop and the job of being a parent.



As far as the original intent of this thread, the man in question wouldn't have been able to put a hand on my dd to pull her out of the cart, because the minute he reached for her, one hand would have been yanking his hair out as the other was yanking somewhere much more painful

 

[Mickeyistheman]

I usually stay away from stuff like this, but as you have no children (first bolded statement), I'll share a little information with you.

There is no one else whose job it is but myself and my dh to correct my child. Certainly not the sales girl at Walmart. If she were actually doing her job, instead of concerning herself with someone else's parenting skills, perhaps there wouldn't be such messy stores and long lines.

Regarding the third bolded statement no one has a RIGHT to yell at my children. Certainly not a cashier in a clothing store.

Maybe one day you will understand the difference between the job of being a clerk in walmart or a cashier in a clothing shop and the job of being a parent.



As far as the original intent of this thread, the man in question wouldn't have been able to put a hand on my dd to pull her out of the cart, because the minute he reached for her, one hand would have been yanking his hair out as the other was yanking somewhere much more painful

While I agree with you that you as the parent should discipline your child and teach them how to respect others and other peoples things that are not theirs. When you are out in a store and they are doing something they should not and a sales clerk sees them, I am not saying they should yell but they can say please stop that or please put that back. I don't see any problem with that.

I also feel that the woman that yelled at the kids because she asked the mother nicely to correct her children and she chose to shop she should have kicked the kids and their mother out of the store.

My Walmart around here is quite clean and very spotless and the sales people are usually quite pleasant and helpful and they are making it a Super Walmart but I digress.

As far as the OP's topic the man has issues and HAD NO RIGHT WHATSOEVER to act in that way. I was just saying that sometimes the kids need to be disciplined better and not ignored for 10 minutes worth of screaming in public.

 

[dismom2]

I usually stay away from stuff like this, but as you have no children (first bolded statement), I'll share a little information with you.

There is no one else whose job it is but myself and my dh to correct my child. Certainly not the sales girl at Walmart. If she were actually doing her job, instead of concerning herself with someone else's parenting skills, perhaps there wouldn't be such messy stores and long lines.
Regarding the third bolded statement no one has a RIGHT to yell at my children. Certainly not a cashier in a clothing store.

Maybe one day you will understand the difference between the job of being a clerk in walmart or a cashier in a clothing shop and the job of being a parent.



As far as the original intent of this thread, the man in question wouldn't have been able to put a hand on my dd to pull her out of the cart, because the minute he reached for her, one hand would have been yanking his hair out as the other was yanking somewhere much more painful

The last time I was at the movies, somebody was letting their child run up and down the isle the whole time. She would run down to the front, dance around, run back up, and repeat this continuously. I can't even express how distracting this was. Every 5 minutes or so the child would stop at my row and mess around with the seat next to mine, which was empty (on the end). I also heard a lot of loud talking between a mother and some children. Naturally, this turned out to be the 'runners' mother. I turned around to look at the mother, hoping she would realize that she and her children were being very disruptive, only to see the bright light of her cell phone in hand, and her text messaging-- in addition to talking loudly and allowing her one child to run loose. Had she been sitting next to, or in front of me, the light of her cell phone would have distracted me even more (as I'm sure it was to all those closer to her). My children were even extremely annoyed and said they couldn't pay attention to the movie because of this rude family. I waited, hoping the situation would improve, but it didn't. So, I got up and complained to an employee, who sent a manager in to correct the situation. I paid a lot of money to take my family to the movies.

Now, according to your logic, if this had been your family, neither I, or the manager would have the "right" to interfere in your business because it's 'your job' and 'only' your job to correct your children---even if you're not doing it.

If someone is not doing their job as a parent, and they are allowing their children to run amuck and disrupt everyone else (other paying customers), they are inviting people to complain.

The question you should be asking is, "what is causing other people to be upset and wanting to say something to begin with?"

I don't think a person has to be a parent to know how people should behave in public. A little respect goes a long way.

ETA: Since someone has taken this thread OT, I'll refer back to the OP again and say the man who slapped the child clearly over-stepped the boundry. He is disturbed, dangerous, and deserved to be arrested. He also needs anger management classes.

 

[EMom]

OK so I was watching 'Panic Room' and a scene reminded me of this thread.

Jody Foster's character hits the bad guy over the railing. Then she looks over the railing and sees him laying there. I would have run down there and hit him a few more times with the sledge hammer. Instead She looks at her kid who is walking talking and does not seem to be hurt and starts asking if they touched her and blah blah blah. Mean while guess who gets up and attacks again...


I know this is a movie but I think in an effort to stop any potential for another attack I would just take care of it and leave no doubt. It is useless to be concerned for the state of the victim until victim is out of harms way.

Ahhhh....A kindred spirit. You see, I too would whack the person's head to a bloody pulp. Whack first, ask questions later. Once when we watched The Sopranos, they said something about, "Two in the head, make sure he's dead." I said to DH, "That sounds like a perfectly reasonable rule to me." I have a sense of self-preservation that would force me to eliminate the threat. That self-preservation extends to my child, of course. This is not because I claim to be a bad***, but simply because the basic instinct to protect myself and my loved ones is such that I'm pretty sure it would override anything else.

Forget minimizing the risk......People like us must eliminate it. scared1: Of course, if they made movies about people like us, they would be very short movies indeed.

 

[maxiesmom]

I usually stay away from stuff like this, but as you have no children (first bolded statement), I'll share a little information with you.

There is no one else whose job it is but myself and my dh to correct my child. Certainly not the sales girl at Walmart. If she were actually doing her job, instead of concerning herself with someone else's parenting skills, perhaps there wouldn't be such messy stores and long lines.

Regarding the third bolded statement no one has a RIGHT to yell at my children. Certainly not a cashier in a clothing store.

Maybe one day you will understand the difference between the job of being a clerk in walmart or a cashier in a clothing shop and the job of being a parent.

Actually if your children are running thru a store we have a DUTY to correct their behavior if the parent refuses to. They could either hurt themselves, or run into other shoppers and possibly knock them down and hurt them. A store is not a playground,

As far as the original intent of this thread, the man in question wouldn't have been able to put a hand on my dd to pull her out of the cart, because the minute he reached for her, one hand would have been yanking his hair out as the other was yanking somewhere much more painful

If you are letting your children run thru a store the sales associate has a DUTY to say something. Your little darling may hurt themseleves or even run into another shopper, knocking them down.

I have seen a child who ran into a fixture and came close to causing permanent damage to their eye. They were lucky, a little to the left or right and it would have been a bad injury. I have been ran into by kids who had parents who seem to equate a store with a playground. And that behavior is not acceptable. It is not your right to let your child make a nuscense of themselves.

Now those of us who work retail may roll our eyes when we hear your little one having a screaming fit. It is not my place to tell you to calm your kid down. But if you let your child behave in a way that puts themselves or other in danger, than you can bet we have the right to speak up.

 

[Lionqueen2]

How unbelievably immature. Talk about setting a bad example for your children.

True. Destruction of property in a store is unfair and sometimes dangerous to other shoppers. Items tossed on the floor or spilled cause accidents to unsuspecting shoppers. Everyone shops including many people with physical limitations and they have a right to expect a certain level of safety while doing so.
Children should be taught that a store is a public place, not a park or their backyard and that everyone there needs to be respected. There is no need for children throwing tantrums. There is too much info out there today to educate parents about diffusing 'meltdown' situations and preventing undesirable behavior. Children learn from their parents and it is also important for parents to demonstrate mature level-headed behavior when dealing with various situations.
I also don't condone the behavior of the man who assaulted the child. He was truly out of control.

 

[Teacher03]

The last time I was at the movies, somebody was letting their child run up and down the isle the whole time. She would run down to the front, dance around, run back up, and repeat this continuously. I can't even express how distracting this was. Every 5 minutes or so the child would stop at my row and mess around with the seat next to mine, which was empty (on the end). I also heard a lot of loud talking between a mother and some children. Naturally, this turned out to be the 'runners' mother. I turned around to look at the mother, hoping she would realize that she and her children were being very disruptive, only to see the bright light of her cell phone in hand, and her text messaging-- in addition to talking loudly and allowing her one child to run loose. Had she been sitting next to, or in front of me, the light of her cell phone would have distracted me even more (as I'm sure it was to all those closer to her). My children were even extremely annoyed and said they couldn't pay attention to the movie because of this rude family. I waited, hoping the situation would improve, but it didn't. So, I got up and complained to an employee, who sent a manager in to correct the situation. I paid a lot of money to take my family to the movies.

Now, according to your logic, if this had been your family, neither I, or the manager would have the "right" to interfere in your business because it's 'your job' and 'only' your job to correct your children---even if you're not doing it.

If someone is not doing their job as a parent, and they are allowing their children to run amuck and disrupt everyone else (other paying customers), they are inviting people to complain.

The question you should be asking is, "what is causing other people to be upset and wanting to say something to begin with?"

I don't think a person has to be a parent to know how people should behave in public. A little respect goes a long way.

ETA: Since someone has taken this thread OT, I'll refer back to the OP again and say the man who slapped the child clearly over-stepped the boundry. He is disturbed, dangerous, and deserved to be arrested. He also needs anger management classes.

This is a great example. My husband and I don't go to the movies often, and nothing irritates me more than this. If you are not disciplining your child and it is affecting my enjoyment of the movie, I will say something to you first, and if that doesn't work, I will say something to your child. I won't yell, I won't be rude, but I will say something. As Dismom points out, it is all a matter of respect.

 

[carrie6466]

If you are letting your children run thru a store the sales associate has a DUTY to say something. Your little darling may hurt themseleves or even run into another shopper, knocking them down.

I have seen a child who ran into a fixture and came close to causing permanent damage to their eye. They were lucky, a little to the left or right and it would have been a bad injury. I have been ran into by kids who had parents who seem to equate a store with a playground. And that behavior is not acceptable. It is not your right to let your child make a nuscense of themselves.

Now those of us who work retail may roll our eyes when we hear your little one having a screaming fit. It is not my place to tell you to calm your kid down. But if you let your child behave in a way that puts themselves or other in danger, than you can bet we have the right to speak up.

There is a big difference between a Duty and a Right. You are making assumptions about the fact that I think my child is a 'little darling' or I'd let her make a "nuscence"(sic) out of herself. You also make an assumption that I will let my "little one" have a screaming fit.

Just for the record, my "little one" is 6 and has autism. I mostly leave her home when I shop and only dine at "child-friendly" restaurants unless she is home. I do remove her from wherever we are when she goes into a meltdown.

I don't particularly like the way other people's kids behave a lot of times. But I don't presume to tell them how to raise them. Especially before I had children of my own.

When I want to deal with other children I go to Disney. When I do not want to deal with children, including my own, I go to Las Vegas with my husband for a few days and my parents take my dd. We stopped being able to leave her about 2 yrs ago and that's fine.

I could care less if you roll your eyes or speak up. As long as you don't get sanctimonious and start telling me you have the "RIGHT" to do it, or that it's "YOUR JOB" then we won't have an issue.

 

[maxiesmom]

If your child is endangering other in the store, it would be my DUTY to speak up. So if you would have an issue with me saying something to your child, then do your JOB and make sure your child behaves in a reasonable manner.

None of us live in a bubble. How we act, or allow or children to act, does impact those around us. The other people in the store have the RIGHT to shop without being ran into by your child. Or having to dodge your child as they run around the racks.

 

[carrie6466]

If you are letting your children run thru a store the sales associate has a DUTY to say something. Your little darling may hurt themseleves or even run into another shopper, knocking them down.

I have seen a child who ran into a fixture and came close to causing permanent damage to their eye. They were lucky, a little to the left or right and it would have been a bad injury. I have been ran into by kids who had parents who seem to equate a store with a playground. And that behavior is not acceptable. It is not your right to let your child make a nuscense of themselves.

Now those of us who work retail may roll our eyes when we hear your little one having a screaming fit. It is not my place to tell you to calm your kid down. But if you let your child behave in a way that puts themselves or other in danger, than you can bet we have the right to speak up.

If your child is endangering other in the store, it would be my DUTY to speak up. So if you would have an issue with me saying something to your child, then do your JOB and make sure your child behaves in a reasonable manner.

None of us live in a bubble. How we act, or allow or children to act, does impact those around us. The other people in the store have the RIGHT to shop without being ran into by your child. Or having to dodge your child as they run around the racks.

May I suggest a dictionary to look up the difference of the words Duty and Right?

IF you'd read my post you would see that I also said you wouldn't be dodging my child, because My Child would be at home.


Done here, unsubscribed from this thread, won't be reading it again.

 

[Plumeria]

I don't think a person has to be a parent to know how people should behave in public. A little respect goes a long way.

Thank you!!

 

[Plumeria]

If your child is endangering other in the store, it would be my DUTY to speak up. So if you would have an issue with me saying something to your child, then do your JOB and make sure your child behaves in a reasonable manner.

None of us live in a bubble. How we act, or allow or children to act, does impact those around us. The other people in the store have the RIGHT to shop without being ran into by your child. Or having to dodge your child as they run around the racks.

Amen to that Maxiesmom! Your posts are always 100% right on.