Age to become engaged?

[Robbi]

Our son asked his gilrfriend to marry him 8 months ago. He's 28 and she's 25.

 

[aprilgail2]

My son and his long time girlfriend decided they were not going to get engaged until they both had degrees and jobs in their chosen fields. They got engaged at 24 and 25 and married at 26 and 27 (saving for a house in the meantime). I wish I were that smart at that age!

VERY smart!!

Engaged at 17 married as soon as I turned 18. Our 36th anniversary is comin soon we must have done something right. DH was 30 at the time we married.

I am twitching just thinking of my 17 year old child date a 29 year old man. What were you 15 when you started dating him??? I don't know a single peson who was ever married before 22 years old.

 

[MIGrandma]

Our DD was 20 when she got engaged, and they had a 2-1/2 year long engagement and have now been married 12 years. She was in college (3rd year) but chose not to finish. Her DH graduated from corrections school while they were engaged, and they both had good jobs when they married.

DH and I were both 17 and in high school when we became engaged, and married 4 months later after we both turned 18. We had no plans to go to college, back then you really didn't need to in order to get a decent job. DH had been a farmer with his Dad since he was 5 years old (yes, he drove tractor by himself at that age) and was "buying into the business" when he was 16 so had his career already set. I was an office worker, but quit when we got married and was a SAHM for about 7 years. We just celebrated our 37th anniversary in September.

Personally, I don't think there really is a "right age" for becoming engaged and married. Some who have a long engagement and are "highly educated" make it and some don't. Same goes for being engaged at a younger age and not having an education past high school.

 

[emer95]

I became engaged at 19! Looking back that does seem extremely young, but I would not change a thing. We got married when I was 21 and my husband was 23. I went on to get an advanced degree, despite being married! We had our first daughter when I was 24, and our second daughter when I was 25. We are both fortunate to have jobs we love, and provide well for our family. We've been married for 17 happy years.

 

[mjkacmom]

: I am twitching just thinking of my 17 year old child date a 29 year old man. What were you 15 when you started dating him??? I don't know a single peson who was ever married before 22 years old.

Having a dd16, I threw up a little when I read that. My kids know I don't want to hear about anyone getting married until at least 25. I got engaged at 26 (after dating for 6 years - and I was definitely one of the first out of my friends), and married at 27.

 

[jodifla]

In my circle of friends, the only ones who got married before age 21 were the people who didn't go to college.

The bulk of my friends married when they were about 25, although there were a couple gals that got married right after they graduated.

When I look at my friends' kids, they're pretty much repeating that pattern. Everyone is waiting until after college, and many are waiting until their late 20s.

 

[Patience]

We were 24 and 26 when we married and were both done with college and graduate school and were employed. We have been married 20 years. Our oldest daughter is 18 and a freshman in college. She plans to go to grad school so I would guess she most likely won't marry until at least her mid 20's like us.

 

[sue1013]

DS is 26 got engaged a few months ago wedding is set for Nov. 2013. They both got their degrees and had been working for a couple years. They got engaged then bought a house. Most of their friends that had met in college are doing the same thing I think they have 5 weddings between now and their wedding next year.

 

[goofyintoronto]

The norm around here nowadays is getting married around 30 yrs old. Kids seem to come anywhere from 30-35 yrs old.

 

[Minnesota!]

I got engaged at 21, married at 22. DH was 22/23 at those times.

We had both dropped out of college at that point because of ailing parents...my dad died before we got married, his mom died 3 months to the day after we got married. We both went back and I graduated...he will graduate in December. 12 years, 3 houses, 2 kids later....it was the right thing for us.

My parents were engaged young - 19 (mom) 21 (dad) and married a year later. They were married just shy of 29 years when my dad died.

DH's parents were the same way....

 

[Saphire]

I have 3 young adult kids and from all the things I hear and know about their friends and aquaintances, I would say the average age to get engaged is 26.

 

[punkin]

The norm around here nowadays is getting married around 30 yrs old. Kids seem to come anywhere from 30-35 yrs old.

Around here, it also seems to be anytime after 30. I know many, many first time mothers who are over 40.

 

[MrsDuck]

I got engaged young-- 19, DFi was 21, a college grad, and working full time.

I'll be almost 22 and a college graduate when I get married in 40 days. We're financially stable and have been together 7 years.

 

[westjones]

I got engaged young-- 19, DFi was 21, a college grad, and working full time.

I'll be almost 22 and a college graduate when I get married in 40 days. We're financially stable and have been together 7 years.

Oh congratulations!!!!

 

[westjones]

I guess what I am wondering is how serious to take an 'engagement'? My DD is 'hoping' in 2014 her BF asks her when we are at WDW (we are taking him with us, and they will both be 20 and both have a lot of maturing to do).

They will still have many years of school ahead of them. She is going at a slower pace and will probably have 3 more years, and he is planning to get a medical degree so will have about 7 years ahead of him I am guessing.

So they can't really get married for a long time after that. Neither of them will have a job. But it sort of seems like saying your engaged isn't quite as big of a deal since you can always end that easily I suppose.

I understand her wanting to get engaged at WDW (which would be magical of course), but it just seems too soon, and I am not sure how serious to take it. A lot can happen over the years ahead.

Of course.....I really have no control over it since they are adults. And I do like the boy very much and think one day it would be very nice. But it seems like a long time for an engagement and not sure what the point of it would be other than to be able to say they got engaged at WDW.

 

[lovin'fl]

DH and I got engaged at 21 right before senior year. We graduated (at 22), got jobs and got married at 23...had our DS soon after (was not the plan, but it worked out just fine). My DH passed all the actuarial exams and is a fellow actuary (FSA). I have a bachelors in Sociology. We have been married for 16 years and have 3 kids. We were the rarity though.

My 2 best friends from HS did not go to college and got married to their HS boyfriends around 22-25 as well. They are also still married.

My DH's friends all got married later (closer to 28-30) and had kids later...when we go to parties with them all the kids are toddler-elementary aged while ours are teens...we have it easier and can sit and enjoy the party while DH's friends are still chasing after little ones (some are still changing diapers).

My sis-in-law married her HS boyfriend around 23 too, but both of them went to and graduated from college 1st...he owns his own business and is doing very well, so well that my SIL could quit teaching a year and a half ago. They have been married for about 21 years.

It's probably the same now as it was 16 years ago and most folks get married around 25-30. I am glad we did it young and had the kids young...we were all done at 25 and I had the energy to keep up with them and could easily deal with lack of sleep too...I don't have that now at 39. And now, DH and I can have date nights and go wherever we're invited as our kids can stay home alone. We can do short trips with just the 2 of us (though DH doesn't like to...he feels too guilty since the kids will be leaving us all too soon, he wants as much family time as he can get now).

 

[shinysparklybubbles]

I was 23, DH was 22. We've been married 6.5 years.

My brother and SIL were in their senior year of college when they got engaged. They've been married almost 8 years.

 

[mickeyboat]

My daughter is 21. Her fiance asked her to marry him this past June at The Magic Kingdom during Wishes. They have set a wedding date, October 24, 2015. She will be 24 and will finish grad-school with her masters in Speech the following May. Her fiance will graduate in 2014.

Penny

Oct 24th is my birthday - a wonderful day to get married.

I was engaged at 19 after my sohpomore year of college, and married at 21 after I graduated. We had a long-distance relationship while I was in college, and we were pretty ready to be together. We did not want to live together without being married. I completed law school during the first three years of our marriage. We did not have our first child until we had been married for seven years.

My parents were not pleased that I was engaged at 19 and married at 21. I would not be too happy if my daughter comes home at 19 engaged. But things have worked out well for DH and I, as we celebrated our 20th anniversary this year. It was tough on us financially at first, and DH's parents helped us some by letting us live with them for two years after I got out of school so we could save money for a house. But some of our happiest memories were when we were dirt poor - we didn't have a couch and a big date night was at the mall food court. Good times.

 

[indimom]

DH and I were engaged at 19, married at 22 (after I finished college). We considered marrying sooner, but thought it would freak out some of our family, so we waited. I think we'd have done fine either way. We were ready.
So, I'm fine with a young engagement. as long as they are committed to their future goals and plans as much as they are committed to each other.

 

[mjlewis23]

I was engaged at 17, and my DH was 19. Crazy, young kids, and I don't know what stopped my parents from having a heart attack. (I was VERY mature for my age, but still 17!)

We got married when I was 20, almost 21, and DH was 23. Last Friday we celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary and I am still absolutely head over heels in love with him. Many of my friends didn't get engaged until they were in their late 20's.