Age to become engaged?

[westjones]

Those of you with young adult children.....what age seems to be common now days to get engaged?

 

[Breezy_Carol]

I have a 26 year old DD and 24 year old DS, both in serious relationships for more than 2 years. Neither engaged. DD looks like it will be soon but no word from DS.

I think a lot depends on part of the country and amount of education.

 

[low-key]

Both kids want to first make sure they cant do better

 

[WDWAurora]

There really is no good answer. I'm laughing a little about the PP's education comment. DH was 23 and I was 22 when we got engaged. I was in the middle of my first year of grad school and he got his engineering degree in only 3 years (had been out 1.5 yrs) when we got engaged. Hardly uneducated. My father was not thrilled exactly. He (and my grandparents) strongly felt we should wait until I finished grad school to get engaged, let alone married (we got married right before my second year of grad school). I don't think they thought I would finish.

Anyway, I did finish. We have been married over 7 years and have two beautiful little boys. Money was tight for a while, but I wouldn't trade getting engaged "young" for anything!!

 

[christineann]

My son and his long time girlfriend decided they were not going to get engaged until they both had degrees and jobs in their chosen fields. They got engaged at 24 and 25 and married at 26 and 27 (saving for a house in the meantime). I wish I were that smart at that age!

 

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

There really is no good answer. I'm laughing a little about the PP's education comment. DH was 23 and I was 22 when we got engaged. I was in the middle of my first year of grad school and he got his engineering degree in only 3 years (had been out 1.5 yrs) when we got engaged. Hardly uneducated. My father was not thrilled exactly. He (and my grandparents) strongly felt we should wait until I finished grad school to get engaged, let alone married (we got married right before my second year of grad school). I don't think they thought I would finish.

Anyway, I did finish. We have been married over 7 years and have two beautiful little boys. Money was tight for a while, but I wouldn't trade getting engaged "young" for anything!!

Speaking as somebody who has a PhD and a JD and who is married to a beautiful wife who also possesses an advanced degree, and as one who also got engaged at 24 years old, there is a statistically meaningful and high correlation between educational level and age of engagement. It's not a perfect correlation, obviously, as my wife of now 11 years and I will attest, but there is a high correlation nonetheless. That's not a value judgement, by the way, but more a logical and accurate reflection of when people start focusing on starting families; most of my contemporaries in graduate school were solely focused on their education, and hence not anywhere close to being in a relationship, much less one that would lead to engagement.

 

[westjones]

My DH and I became engaged at 20 and married at 22. He has a PhD and I have an MBA....but that was 32 years ago.

But for my own DDs I think they should wait until after the finish college.

 

[tvguy]

DS is 25, DD is 21, neither is engaged.

DW and I were engaged and married at 24. Which to my MIL made my wife an old maid, and to my mom had us getting married too young. Of course, my MIL got married (for the first of 3 times) at 18, my mom married for the first and only time at 27.

 

[nchulka]

As a child I always thought that 20 was the perfect age to get married at. I ended up doing exactly that, engaged at 19 and married at 20. DH was 22. We are about to celebrate 15 years in a few weeks When DD turned 10 last year I had a bit of a panic moment realizing she was halfway to the age I was married at!!

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Weddings seem to spike here around 28-32 years old.

 

[mrsklamc]

I'd say mid to late twenties...but that doesn't make it wrong to fall outside those norms.

I could be wrong but I'm thinking OP has a longstanding intense dislike of her DD's BF so if I'm correct and OP is thinking about her daughter...well, it really doesn't matter what 'average' is, if your kids are of age, you get no say.

 

[lucyanna girl]

My daughter is 21. Her fiance asked her to marry him this past June at The Magic Kingdom during Wishes. They have set a wedding date, October 24, 2015. She will be 24 and will finish grad-school with her masters in Speech the following May. Her fiance will graduate in 2014.

Penny

 

[minkydog]

My adult kids are DS26 and DD19. DS just broke off a 2 year relationship. He had some setbacks for a couple years, when the econom tanked, so he's still trying to get back on top of that financially. DS is in no way ready to commit to a marriage relationship. The young lady he was dating was significantly younger than him(but legal!) She was a sweet girl, but immature and not his intellectual equal. It began to cause distance between them and they finally went their separate ways.

DD has been in a relationship with a very nice young man for about a year. DD says she has no desire to get married and have children until she finishes her degree. Hopefully, she'll stick with that. This is the first mature relationship she has had, so I don't want her to rush into anything. One of the things she & I have talked about is her goals. DD loves to travel; it's very important to her. This boyfriend didn't come from a family with a culture of vacationing or travel. He's a bit of a home-body. I have advised her that they need to take several week-long driving trips before they get really serious, to see if he will be flexibla and adventurous as she is. The travel thing would probably be a deal breaker.

Of course, I am reminded that my own DH wasn't a traveler either. When we met he hadn't been any farther north than west Alabama. But he came along and now he loves to travel as much as I do. We met when we were 19, married at 24 after we finished our BS degrees. My sisters married at 22, 27 and 28. Brother married at 20. Of the 5 of us, only brother has been divorced. the rest of us have been married between 20 & 32 years.

 

[RachaelA]

I got engaged right after I turned 22 (in 07). I was a senior in college. DH was 27 and we had been together 3 1/2 years. We got married 18 months later. I was definitely the first of all my high school/college friends to get engaged and married. Actually very few of my friends are married even now at 26/27. A big chunk of my college friends all just got married this summer.

 

[dyna]

Engaged at 17 married as soon as I turned 18. Our 36th anniversary is comin soon we must have done something right. DH was 30 at the time we married.

 

[Shugardrawers]

You know, the first time I got engaged I was 15. I didn't break it off until I was almost 18 because it was 1981 and he wanted to live together first. That was just somethig that wasn't done then. I'mm still in touch with him and I wonder about things on occasiona...

When do I think peope are mature enough? At least 25 at preferbly closer to 30. Get married when you feel ready for kids you'll get the concept of commitment. If you can't imagine a LIFETIME with your person...DON'T GET MARRIED.

 

[disykat]

I expect that my kids will be at least close to financially independent when they get engaged since they'll be financially independent when they marry. Since we're paying for our dependent kids college, I'm guessing they'll wait at least until that's done.

I don't know that age matters so much, but I think being ready to be independent does.

 

[PigletsPal2]

I was engaged for the first time at age 17, he was 23. I decided I was too young, that I wanted to travel, and he was at risk of being drafted at any time (it was at the height of the Viet Nam war). So I broke it off. My cousin, who introduced us, said that he never got over me and never married. Yeah, right, whatever.

Engaged for the second and last time at age 18 (not much older, but crazy about my fiance) and married at age 19. DH is two years older than I.

As I said, travel was a big deal for me, but when I said as part of our marriage vows "Entreat me not to leave thee, for whither thou goest, I will go..." I had no idea that I would follow him to live on every continent but Antarctica, in 10 countries, and visit another 35-40 countries (don't remember exact number).

It's been a wonderful 46 years and I'm looking forward to many more together with the love of my life.

Queen Colleen

 

[lilmrsellis]

My mom was 16 when she married my dad (19). The waited 9 years to have me because my mom was the second oldest girl in a family of 9 kids. They are still married 38 years later.
My husband and I started dating at 17, got engaged at 21 and married at 23. He teaches high school science and I'm a stay at home mom to our 2 kids. He's also in the National Guard and about 1/3 of our marriage has been apart. We've endured A LOT in the 6 years we've been married, but, by God' grace, are still going strong. I think when you get together young you grow into the adults you will ultimately be together.

 

[RangerPooh]

I was 23, DH was 25 when we got engaged, and we married a year later. We were both still in college at the time; we paid our own way through so it took a little longer. But we both graduated with our BAs, both have Masters degrees, and DH is still trucking along on his PhD. This June well have been married for 10 years, and have 4 kids. If I were to do it again would I marry so young? Perhaps.