Age of child to put self on bus and come home after school?

[hereyago]

Some of you are ASSUMING more then you think I am suggesting.


This is example.of bubble, pretty same.as helicopter parent: you wait on your kid, don't teach them how to do basic things that their maturity level can handle, i.e. my neighbor making her middle school dd call her to say she was on the bus, because a boogey man may get her.


As for my dd when she wanted to get herself up, etc. I worked 3 out of the 5 days during school, so I wasnt here until she left. There wasn't any kitchen appliance.cooking. We went over the what to do in certain situations. The first 2 days, I was off, but we pretended she was here alone, she got herself up, etc. if the school opened late or not at all, our school system would call early, so that wasn't a problem. If she was sick, I knew either before I left or at school once, then I left work to go get her.

 

[aprilgail2]

My DH was a School Bus driver for the first few yrs in retirement. At that time Drivers were not allowed to pick up or drop off kids under 12 if they were alone, or not with another person older than 12 yrs of age.

We are in Niagara region.

That is nuts- at 12 my daughter was in 8th grade, can you imagine a kid in middle school (6-8) having mommy or daddy at the bus stop with them-that is crazy! The only grade here that required a parent at the bus stop was kindergarten.

 

[crashbb]

The law in my province states you have to be 12 to be left alone so it would be illegal for a 4th grader to be home alone before school in your scenario.

Interesting - Ontario does not name a specific age.

The Child and Family Services Act does not identify an age when a child can be left alone, or an age at which a child can supervise or babysit other children. The Act recognizes that age alone is not a sufficient safeguard for the supervision of children.

 

[mom2rtk]

Some of you are ASSUMING more then you think I am suggesting.


This is example.of bubble, pretty same.as helicopter parent: you wait on your kid, don't teach them how to do basic things that their maturity level can handle, i.e. my neighbor making her middle school dd call her to say she was on the bus, because a boogey man may get her.


As for my dd when she wanted to get herself up, etc. I worked 3 out of the 5 days during school, so I wasnt here until she left. There wasn't any kitchen appliance.cooking. We went over the what to do in certain situations. The first 2 days, I was off, but we pretended she was here alone, she got herself up, etc. if the school opened late or not at all, our school system would call early, so that wasn't a problem. If she was sick, I knew either before I left or at school once, then I left work to go get her.

So being unwilling to leave a 9 year old home to get herself off to school makes you a helicopter parent?

Just because someone insists on having an adult home when a child gets off to school does not mean they are waiting on them hand and foot. It is quite possible they are there to deal with the unexpected things that come up. Now who's assuming?

My DD expresses an interest in doing a lot of things I choose not to let her do.

 

[todpatcam]

11 years old

 

[hereyago]

So being unwilling to leave a 9 year old home to get herself off to school makes you a helicopter parent?

.

Lol, honestly once again assuming has struck again You qouted me but apparently didn't read my example of helicopter parent.

 

[GeraldineW]

My DD is entering 4th. My DS is entering 1st. The kids attend different schools (private). They both will ride the school bus but DD's bus picks up at our house and I have to drive DS into town to get his bus. On certain days my DH won't be home to get DD on the bus and I can't be at two places at once. I talked to DD's school about options for changing the bus pick up time so that I could get DD on the bus and also drive DS to his bus.

DD's school suggested I let DD-4th grader get herself ready, lock the house and get on the bus, herself. They told me that other kids (particularly single parent families) do it. The school felt it was perfectly appropriate for a 4th grader to get herself ready and onto the bus in the morning and off of the bus in the afternoon

We are going to give it a try.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Interesting - Ontario does not name a specific age.

Manitoba does. Only two provinces currently do. I can't remember the other one.
Not the best reference but here it is. It's a City of Winnipeg website. Scroll alllllllllllll the way to the bottom of the page.

http://www.winnipeg.ca/police/TakeAction/babysitting.stm

 

[CdnCarrie]

Interesting - Ontario does not name a specific age.

Weird double post

 

[LJSquishy]

A 4th grader is plenty old to walk down the street to the bus stop & get on the bus. She is not capable of waking herself up, eat breakfast, & get ready for school by herself though. So, if you or another adult (not your DS...it's not a child's responsibility to care for siblings) is home to help her in the morning, sure. But, if she will be home alone before she's even awake, definitely not. An adult needs to be present to make sure she gets up & gets ready whether that means she has to wake up earlier and be dropped off somewhere, or have one of you work different shifts so someone can be home with her.

Around age 9-10 my sister & I were left home alone for up to a couple of hours at a time but never would we have been home alone in the mornings and expected to get ready for school by ourselves...I can tell you I never would have gone to school! There were times I overslept, was sick, was just running late, etc. We never really ate healthy breakfasts in the morning but I do think it's a parents responsibility to provide a healthy (even if it's quick) breakfast. We mostly just ate frozen waffles or cold cereal which aren't healthy at all. Your daughter wouldn't really be able to manage all of that in the morning.

 

[ironpig70]

So glad I grew up decades ago.

Dad worked for the local road dept and many times he would be called out to clear roads of snow and we kids would stay home.

It was a 2 mile trip each way to the nearest phone and this was pre cell phones or the computer.

We also had wood heat for the house and we stoked the fire when needed. We also cooked ourselves lunch.

And if that was not enough since we were in the country there were guns about.

I don't know how I survived childhood.

 

[Becky2005]

And not the sharp knives - but butter knives are okay. Try to make sure she's up and about when you leave so that she doesn't go back to sleep.

All kids are different. I knew many fourth graders who would be able to handle it and quite a few who wouldn't have been able to.

That would be a key factor....I think 4th grade is too young. I have a 4th grader and I'm not sure he could handle it..exactly. If I set a timer for him to leave probably but I can not tell you how many times I got a call from one of my oldest boy's friends that he overslept and could I drive him to school when they were in grade school. Heck...that even happened in 6th grade a couple of times, he overslept - missed the bus and called to see if I could drive him. At one point it was done so I was driving him every morning and I want to say it was around 4th or 5th grade. They are Juniors now so I'm foggy on exactly what the arrangement was.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

. So, if you or another adult (not your DS...it's not a child's responsibility to care for siblings)


Your daughter wouldn't really be able to manage all of that in the morning.

Ahhh yes she can. Thats why I posted to get peoples opinion in the first place.
And really? So a sibling should never look after a brother or sister?
DH and I frequently leave DS in charge of DD when we go out for date nights. He's 15. Why would I pay a sitter?


I posted mainly to get people's opinions. I understand what "we" did in "our" childhood. I too walked to a small Catholic school by myself in the next community. About a mile each each from first to eighth grade. There were no busses.
But things are different now.
Around here now adays that would be unheard of.

DD was sitting next to me when I was reading some of the responses last night.
Even after seeing some of the posts, she insists these people dont know me, I can do it.

I mainly wanted to see what others thought. I doubt if leaving DD alone will be an option. As many pointed out there are too many variables, mainly what if she wakes up sick. Plus some stuff I never thought about. Sometimes it helps to get other points of view.

 

[crashbb]

Manitoba does. Only two provinces currently do. I can't remember the other one.
Not the best reference but here it is. It's a City of Winnipeg website. Scroll alllllllllllll the way to the bottom of the page.

http://www.winnipeg.ca/police/TakeAction/babysitting.stm

Interesting.

And sorry if my post came off as not believing you - I did believe you, I was just pointing out that Ontario was different.

 

[tzolkin]

Really? My dd was under 12 in middle school. A policy like that wouldn't fly here. Kindergartners cannot be dropped off without an authorized adult meeting them. If no one is at the stop the child will be taken back to school. After that there isn't any policy.

That is nuts- at 12 my daughter was in 8th grade, can you imagine a kid in middle school (6-8) having mommy or daddy at the bus stop with them-that is crazy! The only grade here that required a parent at the bus stop was kindergarten.

I posted the same issue at the beginning of the thread. Our kids will not be dropped off if no one is home. They say age 12, but I think by 6th grade they're really not concerned. (My older DD skipped a grade and turned 12 at the end of 7th grade and I don't remember the driver having to physically see me for a while before that-- although she could see my car in the driveway)

We don't have bus stops. They are dropped off a each house and everyone knows the driver has to make sure someone is home so there really isn't any embarrassing factor.

My middle DD (entering 4th grade) could be home alone (more responsible than the teenager) but at this point I must be home when the bus drops her off.

 

[arminnie]

Yup the world is different. I walked to school with no parent (a few blocks) in the first grade.

And I lived about 6 blocks from the infamous 8 mile road.

 

[DopeyDame]

I posted the same issue at the beginning of the thread. Our kids will not be dropped off if no one is home. They say age 12, but I think by 6th grade they're really not concerned. (My older DD skipped a grade and turned 12 at the end of 7th grade and I don't remember the driver having to physically see me for a while before that-- although she could see my car in the driveway)

We don't have bus stops. They are dropped off a each house and everyone knows the driver has to make sure someone is home so there really isn't any embarrassing factor.

My middle DD (entering 4th grade) could be home alone (more responsible than the teenager) but at this point I must be home when the bus drops her off.

I am just absolutely flabergasted by that policy. They really think a 10 year old can't be home alone for 10 minutes in the middle of the afternoon? That's just bizarre.

OP, I for one think most typically developing, normally responsibly 4th graders would be just fine in the mornings on their own, but clearly I'm in the minority.

 

[Lady Elle]

when I was in 4th grade I got myself and my sister (who was in 1st grade) on the bus by myself no problem but my grandma was always there after school...

 

[MissManda]

I think 4th grade is pretty young to get themselves up and off to the bus by themsevles. Of course, I'm basing this on my niece that just started 4th grade. I can see her getting off the bus herself and being fine, but the morning it just wouldn't work.

To many variables- these are still pretty young kids and are easily distracted.

If I was caring for my niece, in the mornings I would wory if she would lose track of time and miss the bus. If that happens what would she do. I'm big on making sure the house is locked up and all the lights are out. Would she remember to do that? If its cold, would she put her coat on (or rain jacket).

In the afternoons (and I know this because I watched her after school for a while), I know that she would come home, get a snack, do homework and play. She is much more focused in the afternoon than morning.

Just my two cents. Good luck with whatever decision you make.