Age of child to put self on bus and come home after school?

[hereyago]

If she is pretty much getting herself up and dressed before, then she can be responsible to go to the next step. People get too caught up in age, when it should be done by maturity level.

 

[descovy]

I have a newly minted 4th grader as well. Myself, and the 6th & 8th grader leave at 6:40am. My husband tries to stay until the 4th grader's bus at 7:40 but sometimes has to leave earlier.

It works... but basically because my 4th grader is very responsible. In fact, last year when she was in 3rd grade and older sis was in 5th grade, we had a similar arrangement. However it was always the 3rd grader reminding the 5th grader that it is time to leave and lock up! So she has always been more responsible.

That said, I would still worry a bit about getting ready for school. Maybe if you could call and check-in. Do you have everything? Are you dressed? etc...

Our back up plan... If a bus is broke down/delayed she knows of friends from the busstop that she is allowed to ride with to school. If she misses the bus (and it never happened since we started this last year) is to go home and call me. At that point, she is safe inside the house, and I can come up with a plan B. (leaving work, calling a trusted friend, etc...)

4th grader has a key, and for the most part is not home alone in the afternoon. But just in case I am running late, she can let herself in. Worked great this Wed when I had a dentist appointment run over. I was reassured that she could let herself in and know what to do instead of panic that I am not there.

 

[Fire14]

I don't recall how old I was but I walked self to and from school. In middle and HS I got myself and brother up and out door. During summer I babysat brothers.

 

[runsandjumps]

Wow! I got myself ready in the morning, out the door, and walked to school when I was in 3rd grade. Heck, maybe even before that. I know for sure by then.

My 1st grader walked to the bus by himself since he would always run ahead of us anyway.

For all the people who have High schoolers who can't get themselves up and ready to go- I feel sorry for you. My ds7 just asked for an alarm clock so I wouldn't have to wake him up for school anymore.

To the OP your daughter will be fine. Remember, your children are only as responsible as you let them be. If you have raised them to be somewhat self sufficient, everything will be fine.

Ana

 

[aprilgail2]

For all the people who have High schoolers who can't get themselves up and ready to go- I feel sorry for you. My ds7 just asked for an alarm clock so I wouldn't have to wake him up for school anymore.

That is sad. By Jr. High these kids should be able to get themselves up and going without mommy having to wake them up. My daughter takes WAY longer than me to get ready in the morning so either she gets herself up by her alarm clock on her own because if she waited for me to get up she won't have enough time to get herself ready in the morning- believe me she doesn't want to skip on doing hair and makeup so she is sure to get herself up!
By high school kids should be responsible for their own wake up calls- if you don't make them responsible by then whats going to happen in college?? Mommy can't go there with them and wake them!

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

Personally I think 4th grade is too young to be getting themselves out the door for school. An hour alone afterschool, not so bad, but still out of my comfort level. I know there are kids around doing it, it still makes me uncomfortable. However, you have to do what you have to do. I hope it works out for you.

 

[mom2rtk]

For all the people who have High schoolers who can't get themselves up and ready to go- I feel sorry for you. My ds7 just asked for an alarm clock so I wouldn't have to wake him up for school anymore.

I really believe some kids are just wired differently than others.

I fought our oldest every single day of high school to get up and out the door on time. Number 2 got himself up and out to high school every single day with an alarm clock. Number 3 is in 7th grade and has been doing the same for over a year. I never would have believed there could be such a difference in kids raised in the same home if I hadn't experienced it myself.

I finally donated our Donald Duck alarm clock to the oldest one his first year of college. Donald has the loudest most annoying bells on top that nobody can sleep through.

 

[CdnCarrie]

The law in my province states you have to be 12 to be left alone so it would be illegal for a 4th grader to be home alone before school in your scenario.

 

[LuLuO]

Your mom isn't going to be gone too long. I'd have DH leave later so that he is there to see her on the bus.

 

[CdnCarrie]

I think with a few days of practice and a phone call on the first couple of days doing it alone she would be fine. My DD#1 came home to an empty house in 2nd grade. He was only home maybe an hour alone and other parents thought I was crazy. You have to know your kid. You have to have a thick skin because others will have strong opinions.

Have a contingency plan if she misses the bus. Is there a neighbor close enough to help if she misses it? Or someone she could call? Do you know the moms at the stop? Can one of them just keep an eye on whether she makes it to the bus?

Kids aren't as fragile as a lot of parents make them out to be nowadays. Give them a little credit.

Sometimes it's not the parent's opinion but the law. I could get charged for leaving my 4th grader home alone. Nothing to do with them being fragile.

 

[NikitaZee]

If you have the choice to do a late vs. early shift I'd pick the later one without giving it a 2nd thought. There are just too many things that could happen in the morning. I just wouldn't be comfortable leaving a child still sleeping in an empty house. Too many things could happen.

Yes, this exactly.

 

[Kimberle]

Wow! I got myself ready in the morning, out the door, and walked to school when I was in 3rd grade. Heck, maybe even before that. I know for sure by then.

My 1st grader walked to the bus by himself since he would always run ahead of us anyway.

For all the people who have High schoolers who can't get themselves up and ready to go- I feel sorry for you. My ds7 just asked for an alarm clock so I wouldn't have to wake him up for school anymore.

To the OP your daughter will be fine. Remember, your children are only as responsible as you let them be. If you have raised them to be somewhat self sufficient, everything will be fine.

Ana

You might want to reserve your judgement on high schoolers until you have one. High schools in my area start class at 7:30, so that means heading for the bus is around 6:30. Sports practice and activities run until after 9 each night. I've been to our HS past 9 and seen the kids working hard. Many have jobs, volunteer work, and/or other activities. They have to get their resumes ready for collage. Good grades are no longer enough. These kids are tired!

We are just starting HS, and my dd gets herself to the bus. But I offer no judgement on those who have to wake their kids in the morning.

 

[Poohforyou]

You might want to reserve your judgement on high schoolers until you have one. High schools in my area start class at 7:30, so that means heading for the bus is around 6:30. Sports practice and activities fun until after 9 each night. I've been to our HS past 9 and seen the kids working hard. Many have jobs, volunteer work, and/or other activities. They have to get their resumes ready for collage. Good grades is no longer enough. These kids are tired!

We are just starting HS, and my dd gets herself to the bus. But I offer no judgement on those who have to wake their kids in the morning.

Exactly. When my dd was is elementary school she'd be up and ready on her own for an 8:30 departure.

Middle school was rough with her getting up. She has an alarm and an iPhone but slept through both on many mornings. The dog sleeps in her room and even his barking in the morning doesn't wake her.

I honestly don't know what will happen in college. Right now I'm focused on high school, which starts Friday. DD has expressed an interest in getting up early enough to do her hair and eat breakfast so I'm full of hope. In middle school she slept in her clothes and got up with just enough time to brush her teeth and run out the door (her choice).

I wake my DH up for work so I don't get the big deal with knocking on DD's door or even having to nudge her a bit. She's a great kid in every other respect - kind, helpful, good student, caring about others etc.

 

[cathyce2]

I also have a 4th grader and a HS freshman. My 9 year old gets herself up, ready and to the bus stop by herself and everything is fine most of the time. But then there are days when the bus doesn't come or it's pouring rain or the neighbors big scary dog gets out or the workers remodeling a house near her stop "creep her out". Those days happen often enough that she still needs an adult ready to help her at the bus stop or drive to school.

 

[mom2rtk]

I also have a 4th grader and a HS freshman. My 9 year old gets herself up, ready and to the bus stop by herself and everything is fine most of the time. But then there are days when the bus doesn't come or it's pouring rain or the neighbors big scary dog gets out or the workers remodeling a house near her stop "creep her out". Those days happen often enough that she still needs an adult ready to help her at the bus stop or drive to school.

Very good points, weather in particular.

I just don't like putting myself in a position where things should go well most days. At that young age, I need to know they will go well every day. I think a 4th grader is capable of doing this when everything goes off as planned. But throw in a curve ball, and I am less sure. To leave a child alone I need to be very sure.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

The law in my province states you have to be 12 to be left alone so it would be illegal for a 4th grader to be home alone before school in your scenario.

Ours is 8 yo here.

 

[Lemonademouth]

Maybe it was a different time, but I walked a mile and a half to and from school in the third grade by myself, or with a friend and became a patrol in the fourth.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Ours is 8 yo here.

Wow that's sad.

 

[Cindy B]

I remember being in 1st grade and my older sister was in 2nd grade when we would wake up, walk to school, and then be home alone until after 5 pm. We would begin dinner (70's Shake and Bake usually), set the table, and then my mom would come home.

This was in 1974/75. My mom was one of the few working moms at the time and we would just do it.

As for my own kids, I went back to school when my kids were in 2nd and 4th grade. My kids would walk home and do what they needed. My husband would work from home 2-3x a week then.

 

[kidshop]

Two hours alone from 6:30 to 8 :30 am? I wouldn't be comfortable with that. It's not the alone part really, it's all the little necessities that add up to a huge responsibility for a young child. Getting up, getting dressed, getting food, cleaning up, closing up the house., getting to the bus on time; .then all of the variables with the bus and the weather. All without an adult to supervise/help out.

Sure it dependson the kid, but I think it might be too much to expect anyway for a 9 year old every day as normal life.