Age of child to put self on bus and come home after school?

[dyna]

Both of my parents worked I got myself up and on the bus in 1st grade and came home to empty house did my chores and fixed supper for the family.

My own DD's never got themselves off to school or home till they started driving to school. My jr high an high school yrs of riding school bus was so horrifying that I never let mine ride school bus.

 

[LisaR]

It sounds as if you have multiple things going on here. It isn't just a matter of DD getting to the bus by herself. It sounds like she is also going to be alone for two hours in the morning and will be completely responsible for getting herself ready for school (getting dressed, eating, making sure she has her lunch and backpack). Then she needs to leave the house on time, lock the house up, get to the bus stop, and get to school. If she misses the bus, one would assume the other parents would no longer be standing around outside so now she needs to go back into the empty house and call you. On top of that, it sounds like she is coming home to an empty house. That is an awful lot of time for a 4th grader to spend alone. Can she do it? Only you can answer that. If she can do it, is it still a good idea? I think I would look at paying someone to spend a little time with her and to keep her on track.


Edit: I may have misread the title of the thread. It says, "Age of child to put self on bus and come home after school." I interpreted that to mean that she would be coming home to an empty house. If not, I am not sure what the "come home after school" part refers to. If I am wrong in assuming she is also coming home to an empty house, my apologies.

 

[marlynnp]

what is your husband's schedule?

and what is your son's sports/activities schedule during the three months you're talking about?

My daughter has been coming home to an empty house since 4th grade but she's in high school now and I still make sure she gets on the bus and the house is properly locked up before I leave.

 

[3smithboys]

I am also in your situation. I have a son going into 9th grade and twin boys going into 5th. DH and I are both teachers. He is able to get the twins ready in the morning but is not able to get them on the bus.... I leave at 6:45 because I teach MS. My mom comes 2x a week to get them on the bus; the other 3 days we take them to someone's house who gets them on the bus, and we pay her $20 a day... (for about an hr) But to me it's worth it to know they are on the bus.

Next year they will be in MS, and they will leave before DH has to go to school. I am home before they get home from school most days... but they are able to stay by themselves for a bit if necessary - I have no problem with that.

 

[scoutie]

On top of that, it sounds like she is coming home to an empty house

Where does it say this? It sounds like her DH is home in the afternoons.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

To answer questions:

If I start early in AM , I will be home for DD after school, so its either one or the other.

DS hopefully will make the high school basketball team (he's played since 4th grade) so just looking ahead. If he makes it, he will have practice everyday after school.
After school though isn't as much as an issue. DD knows the garage code and has let herself in for short periods alone already.

My immediate neighbors all have older kids ( my sons age) so they aren't at the bus stop. The neighbor 3 houses up have kids DD's age and if I asked her I know she would look after DD walking up to the bus.
I could call DD from work.

We would get everything ready the night before , plus only cereal for breakfast, no electricity or stove allowed. That rule is enforced now if DH or myself isn't home.
She pretty much gets up on her own now, gets dressed and comes downstairs. I get her breakfast but I'm here.

There is no formal program, they all begin too late.

I would leave about 6 as well as DH. DS leaves at 6:30, so she would be here for about 2 hours.

 

[Northstar]

My DS is a high school freshman, DD is in 4th grade. DS leaves for school at 6:30 DD not until 8:30.
I don't work everyday. On days I do , my mom comes over to put DD on the bus. DH is evening shift every 3 weeks so its only when he's daylight shift and I work.

My mom started living in FL , Jan -march so after Christmas she won't be here for a few months. Last year a neighbor helped me out, but this year I have a new job and start earlier. I hate to take DD over to the neighbors house so early. He's not an immediate neighbor so I do have to drive her.

DD insists she can get herself ready in the morning but 4th grade still seems kind of young. The bus stop is about 4 doors up the street. We live in a neighborhood so other parents would be at the stop.
I'm just not sure what to do at this point.

DH could work more evening shift but then he'd miss all DS's after school sports.

Opinions?

For the limited time your mom will be away, I'd go with this.

I think she could easily get herself up and get on the bus, but there needs to be someone to bail her out if she oversleeps, misses the bus, the bus never comes....

 

[mom2rtk]

I would not ask a neighbor to look after her every day without paying them and having sort of a "formal" arrangement in place. Even if it feels like a small thing, asking someone else to add some responsibility day in/day out is a little more than I would be comfortable doing. Some will say yes just because it's hard to say no.

It could just be me, but our house was always been pretty frenzied trying to get everyone out the door with slips signed, lunches packed, and every detail in its place. I honestly would not want to add to that stress for someone else and would probably be uncomfortable with someone asking me unless it was a very limited deal.

 

[mom2rtk]

For the limited time your mom will be away, I'd go with this.

I think she could easily get herself up and get on the bus, but there needs to be someone to bail her out if she oversleeps, misses the bus, the bus never comes....

 

[tvguy]

I know times have changed, but all the kids in my neighborhood walked to and from the bus alone starting with First Grade. But that was 1963. We all had keys to our houses on a chain around our neck, we had never heard of latchkey kids, we lived in a middle class neighborhood and both parents in every household worked. And I lived in an area where, in the late 1960's, they were concerned about the Zodiac Killer attacking a bus load of kids. For a while a sheriff's car was assigned to follow every school bus. But they never worried about us GETTING to the bus stop.

Never faced the issue with my kids. They went to private schools with no bus and too far to walk. I worked graveyard shift and my wife days to make sure a parent was always available.

 

[I loveStitchnippyjon]

When I returned to the workforce after being a SAHM, my DD's were entering 5th and 7th grade. I was also very worried because we live out in the country with no neighbors to see DD#2 onto the bus (dd#1 left one hour earlier while I was still at home) DD#2 would only be home for about 20 minutes after I had to leave, but I wasn't sure she would make it out to get the bus on time.
I spoke to the elementary principal about my concerns, and he assured us that if DD ever missed the bus he would personally come and get her!
After hearing that, she never once missed the bus!

 

[trewin]

I think it depends on the kid / your neighborhood. I was in the same situation growing up, when I was real young I went to neighbors @ 6am. Around 3rd-4th grade I just met up with the other families walking. I would come home alone after school or a half hour or so till mom got home.
Are there any kids she can meet up with to walk to bus stop? Does she have a cell phone? How close is the bus stop? Only you can be the judge...

 

[hereyago]

My dd walked to her elementary school. But in 4th grade she asked if she could try getting herself up, etc. So, we did a trial run and she has been doing it ever since.

 

[wgeo]

I guess that I'm in the minority here, but I don't see a problem with a fourth grader getting themselves on the bus. My ds is in 4 th this year and if there was bus service I would not have a problem with him having that responsibility. However we've done lots of trial runs with him staying home by himself and following through with certain responsibilities. My dd is in 3rd this year and she will be walking home from school by herself. My kids attend different schools and my sons is across town so I have to pick him up and dd had the choice of waiting in the office until I could get her or walking home the 3/4 mile walk and she chose the walk. Around here this is pretty normal, lots of elementary kids get themselves to or from school. My brothers kids have been on their own since they were in 2nd, 4th and 5th before and after school and have been for doing fine for years - they have at times forgotten homework but they've never missed the bus. I guess it depends a lot on your child and the area that you live.

 

[tzolkin]

I'm not sure exactly what the cutoff is here (maybe 6th grade) but kids in our school district under a certain age are not allowed to be home alone.

In the OP's scenario I suppose no one would know, but our kids are picked up an dropped off at the front door-- yes the bus will stop at 5 individual houses in a row. If there is no one home (driver has to see you), they will take the kids back to school and call you to pick them up or they wait at school and try dropping them off again on the late bus. I am fairly certain the driver would report if they believed no one was home in the morning either.

 

[Jedana]

I was in 4th grade, and had to get myself up and ready for school, and come home from school to an empty house. We lived about 4 blocks from the school, so I walked.



DS is in 4th, and we have let him come home to an empty house for 3 days, when I was away at camp school. DH would leave about 7:30, DS about 7:45. DS would get home at 2:50 and DH would be home by 4.


It really depends on the child.

 

[Poohforyou]

To answer questions:

If I start early in AM , I will be home for DD after school, so its either one or the other.

DS hopefully will make the high school basketball team (he's played since 4th grade) so just looking ahead. If he makes it, he will have practice everyday after school.
After school though isn't as much as an issue. DD knows the garage code and has let herself in for short periods alone already.

My immediate neighbors all have older kids ( my sons age) so they aren't at the bus stop. The neighbor 3 houses up have kids DD's age and if I asked her I know she would look after DD walking up to the bus.
I could call DD from work.

We would get everything ready the night before , plus only cereal for breakfast, no electricity or stove allowed. That rule is enforced now if DH or myself isn't home.
She pretty much gets up on her own now, gets dressed and comes downstairs. I get her breakfast but I'm here.

There is no formal program, they all begin too late.

I would leave about 6 as well as DH. DS leaves at 6:30, so she would be here for about 2 hours.

If you have the choice to do a late vs. early shift I'd pick the later one without giving it a 2nd thought. There are just too many things that could happen in the morning. I just wouldn't be comfortable leaving a child still sleeping in an empty house. Too many things could happen.

 

[Erin1700]

What if she wakes up and doesn't feel well? What if school is delayed due to weather, would she know?
I think she is still too young.

 

[clh2]

My DD came home alone starting in 4th grade. No issues...no worries...she was responsible to handle that.

Now - THERE IS NO WAY I would think that she would be able to get herself up on time, and get ready and get the house locked up and get on the bus on time.

(I wouldn't have a problem with her "walking to the bus stop" at that age - no worries at all.) The key would be "getting up on time".

My DD didn't start getting up "by herself" until she was in high school. It was about the same time as she wanted to set her own bedtime.

Good Luck with this...sometimes figuring out the logistics just SUCKS!

 

[FlightlessDuck]

4th grade or so to get oneself home. 6th grade to get oneself out the door in the morning on time.