Affairs/Adultery...

[agotta]

Honestly, it looks like the affair can sometimes be a symptom of a bad marriage and not just that the cheater is truly awful or bound to be a serial cheater.

I agree. I think sometimes people judge "cheaters" to harshly. Not all of them are disgusting men who are just looking for a younger, pretty poa.

 

[puffkin]

It worked out for my MIL.

She was married and had an affair and ended up getting pregnant with my DH. She eventually told her first husband soon after the baby was born and they got divorced. The father of the baby (my FIL) lived with her and they eventually got married and had another child together. The are still together and happy 28 years later, so I guess it all worked out for the best though I don't condone having an affair at all!

 

[azgal81]

My great aunt was married but had an affair with another guy who I knew as my great uncle. They never got married but they lived together and stuff for a long time. I never knew that she was married before and they were having a affair. She died a long time ago and my parents told me and I shocked and they said they didn't like to tell alot of people. They seemed happy together so I guess it could work out it's just like all other relationships sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. I think people cheat because they aren't happy it doesn't mean they are a horrible person or will do it again. All situations are different I don't think the once a cheater always a a cheater applies.

 

[SC Minnie]

Most of the time no but there is one instance that I do know it worked out.

My Mom's friend suspected her husband of cheating and subsequently found out who the other woman was. She told the husband of the other woman who was also suspecting something. These 2 conspired against the cheaters to gather proof. Well, they divorces the cheaters and stayed friendly and ended up getting married and are still together 20 years later. The cheaters ended up married too and are still together. Both couples live in the same town.

 

[Mad4Mickey]

well kinda . Let me try to explain this one in a short version .


My Ex Husband was cheating on me with a girl ( lets call her LISA since that was her name ) and when I divorced him I warned her that if he did it to me he would do it again . We had been maried 13 yrs and had 2 kids . They had been cheating behind my back for 3 years and pretty much only had cheating in common LOL . Well guess who came to me and asked if I knew that he had a girlfriend behind her back ? Yup I knew and I didnt tell her , he had a 2nd girlfriend while he was married to me ( nice guy eh?) only the secret/secret girlfriend knew about all of us . He is still with the other girl and they have been living together for about 7 yrs now . So Lisa didnt get him and I didnt want him but the other girl wanted him and got him ! The girl he lives with is upset because he wont marry her guess why?? He claims he still loves me bawhwhaaaa NOW THAT IS FUNNY NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE!

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

Eh, apparently that would be my ex-husband.

He cheated on me and I asked for the divorce. He married her three months after our divorce was final. They're fixing to celebrate their fifth wedding anniversary and are trying to adopt a baby.

I'm happy with my new husband, and I've let go the ill feelings for my ex. I hope things work out for them. They deserve each other. (ooopppsss... some animosity snuck back in... I hate it when that happens in public.)

 

[AMcaptured]

Amazingly, I know lots of people who have all sorts of combinations of the stories others have mentioned previously. Old school mates who reunite at a reunion, carry on for years until the kids are grown, eventually divorce and get married. A doctor carrying on with a patient for years and then divorces and get married. Coworkers who just can't keep their hands off each other and eventually divorce and get married. And those are just some of the ones I know about. I imagine there are even more but since its still not socially acceptable, its not mentioned.

I hate to say it but it is probably very common. If half of all marriages end in divorce, I would guess half are from one partner finding someone else and moving on with their life.

 

[kellydizfan]

My Husbands Father was married to my mother-in-law for 23 years, cheated on her with my step-mother-in-law and they ended up married and have been married 33 years. So I guess maybe they are the exception as I don't know how my SMIL deals with him. He drives me crazy after a couple of hours in the same room. Thank god they live across the country so we don't see them that often. Its a shame in a way as I wish my kids could see them more often as my MIL has been deceased since 2000.

 

[mrsheppo]

My ex-husband for one. He cheated on me for over 3 years with the woman he is married to now. He even had a child with her during our marriage.

When our divorce announcement appeared in the newspaper, in the next column was marriage licenses and his name appeared that same day. He remarried 2 weeks after the divorce was final. They have been married for almost 13 years. I don't know if they are happy but that is their business.

It paved the way for me to meet and marry my DH and my life has been extremely happy. (no we did not have an affair - met several years after each of our divorces)

 

[horseshowmom]

Well, my DH's first wife cheated on him and then married the guy after they divorced. After she married the new husband, she told everybody that she was happier than she had ever been in her life.

Of course, I probably need to add that my DH was her first husband. The next guy was her second husband. And, to make a very long story short, she's now married to her 7th husband (but each time she's happier than she's ever been - and yes, she cheated with most of them!).

 

[Poohgirl]

Yup count me in! After ten years and two kids, I found out my ex was cheating on me with two women from work, then while we were trying to "work things out" decided it was a good time to make it a third and start cheating with my best friend. Ya, that went over great when I found out. I had enough, kicked him out, and he moved in with her a week later. That was 5 years ago and she hasn't kicked him out yet..... Although both were "cheaters" in prior relationships and I have heard rumors over the last 5 years, they seem to be doing fine. To each there own...

 

[NMAmy]

I agree. I think sometimes people judge "cheaters" to harshly. Not all of them are disgusting men who are just looking for a younger, pretty poa.

Seriously? I find it pretty disgusting that anyone would be dating while they were married to someone else. If you're unhappy with your marriage (not you, agotta, just a general you), then get divorced or at least separated before hooking up with someone new. The betrayal is the disgusting part and can't be judged too harshly, IMO.

 

[eyeoreismyhero]

I agree. I think sometimes people judge "cheaters" to harshly. Not all of them are disgusting men who are just looking for a younger, pretty poa.

Women cheat too if you can believe it!

 

[Brier Rose]

Yes, my father and stepmother.
They have been married for 15 years, and are perfect for each other.

He cheated on my mother with her for YEARS.

My sister and I didn't know anything about it, and my mother kept it that way.
We both like our stepmother very much, and she didn't want us to feel guilty about it, so she made sure all his dirty little secrets remained that way.

Now that I'm grown and know everything, I feel so sorry for my mother. She really suffered a lot for the sake of my and my sister's happiness.
I respect her so much.

I love my father and stepmother very much, and did deal with some resentment issues after everything was out in the open. We have worked it out, but I will NEVER respect either one of them.

Thankfully she remarried and is happier than she ever was. So I guess in this case it worked out for the best.

 

[suzannen]

I certainly (unfortunately) don't know them personally, but isn't that how Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward got started? They've been happily married some 40 years.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Feralpeg, Where did you get that Mickey gift basket?

 

[novajeanjellybean]

she's now married to her 7th husband

WOW thats alot

 

[JVL1018]

My friend's father cheated on her mother when my friend was about 6 years old, the parents divorced when she was 8 years old (he was still seeing this woman).
They dated/lived together for 8 years, and got married when my friend was 16.
Friend is now 35 and Dad and new wife are still together and happy. So it does happen.

 

[jx3smom]

Well, my ex was having an affair (25 years ago) while I was pregnant and had a 1 year old. I went into premature labor (9.5 weeks) and while I was in the hospital having an emergency c-section she moved into the house where we lived. I had found out about the affair about 2 weeks prior to this. I went home with my 2 babies and he lived with her. They later married and it lasted about 4-5 years total. He later married someone else and it is both of their 3rd marriages. We haven't spoken in years so I think they're still together. My boys were raised by my DH and have 0 to do with their dad.

 

[vettechick99]

I certainly (unfortunately) don't know them personally, but isn't that how Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward got started? They've been happily married some 40 years.

Same with Faith Hill and Tim McGraw. If memory serves, she was engaged to someone else when she met Tim and they toured together.