Advice please

[bellebud]

I'm going to repeat what everyone else has said - let them give!

I don't see any kids in your sig, so don't know if you have any. If you do, think about it hard, and you'll understand. If you don't, take our words for it please, if the parents want to help and you don't let them, you'll be hurting them.

I love the idea of a compromise if you and dh feel you must... have dh talk to them and say "ok, we'll accept this gift if you let me come and do *this* work at your house", or make you a special dinner at our house, etc, etc. There are so many ways you can reciprocate that they'll appreciate (you and dh know best what they'd like). My mil LOVES when people come to her house and do work for her - she can't do most of it herself, and won't spend the money on hiring someone to do it, or sometimes it's just something little you wouldn't hire someone to do, but she can't do it herself. She then enjoys making that person a nice dinner as 'payment'. And she's a good cook, so it's a good deal!! Whatever... think hard, and you'll think of something they'd enjoy.

 

[kinntj]

Accept the help now, knowing that you will be in a better position someday and be able to give back or pay it forward.

Charity and giving goes both ways.....there are those who want to give and y'all need to be gracious recievers.

God Bless you and your family.
May the New Year be a great year for y'all.

Agree!

 

[StephMK]

If their help does not put them in a bind financially, then allow them to help. I agree that it's very hard to accept it sometimes, but if they are in the position to help & you need help, then let them. MIL/FIL have helped us at certain times and when I protested to DH, they sent a very nice note explaining that they remember working to pay the bills, raise the kids, etc. Now they are in the position to not have to worry and they want to be able to help when we need it.

We are extremely grateful and thank them by visiting when we can, having the kids make them gifts, and bringing gifts like their favorite candy, etc. We don't try to reciprocate in gift cost because they can buy whatever it is they need & don't need much. The favorite gift is a calendar of the kids & I make that each year. We have already agreed that if a parent ever needs to live with us we have open doors & hope to be in a position to help our kids when the time comes.