Advice needed for never before, don't want to now cruiser!

[graygables]

My nearly 8yo DD has her heart set on a Disney cruise in 2 years (10th b-day) I can combine it with another DD's 18th b-day and graduation, so I ought to be able to justify the cost per celebration ratio.

The problem is, I am terrified of the ocean. Not from the beach point of view, but the being *on* it with very large animals the human eye has never seen beneath it point of view! I know it sounds silly, but I've been afraid since being surrounded by jellyfish in Hawaii at 3 years old. I also have a little issue (read: HUGE) of motion sickness.

DH absolutely, over his dead body, will *NOT* go on a cruise, so it will be me and 3 DDs when/if we do it. We hardly ever vacation (just had our 1st in 9 years!) so DH doesn't "get" it. I will absolutely do a land/sea b/c I cannot go to the World without going to the World and I've been toying with a 4 day cruise, since I've heard 3 days are too short.

Soooo, what would the DCL experts tell a phobia-filled person like me? How do I break it to DH that we're going without him? Should I stick with a 3 day just in case it's horrible for me or can I tough it out the 4th day for DDs' sake?

Thanks for any advice/tips/encouragement/dramamine coupons!!!

Dawn, Mom24Belles

 

[jwann]

I HATE (notice the capital letters) boats. I don't mind swimming but I HATE boats AND I get motion sickness AND I had major reservations about going on a cruise. BUT................I LOVED IT!!!!!! I used the motion sickness patch and didn't have a problem AND the boat is SOOOO big and it doesn't feel like a boat. In fact, I was always surprised when I walked past a window to see moving water. "Oh, I forgot I'm on a boat," I'd think to myself. We've been on TWO Disney cruises since last May and we have a 7 day booked for Dec. So my advice is - GO.

 

[wide awake]

I think phobias should not be allowed to interfere with your life. In other words, if you're afraid of snakes, or tarantulas, and you don't encounter them in your life than go ahead and keep the phobia. If your fear is interfering with something reasonable that your child wants then it needs to be dealt with...I would conquer this fear (and that means using whatever help you might need), and go on the cruise. You'll feel a great sense of accomplishment and freedom. Good luck !!!!!

 

[two-foxes]

I had some reservations about cruising, as well. Like I was going to be on a floating hunk of metal in the middle of the ocean...can we say Titanic? But I LOVED cruising beyond belief. So fun, so not on a ship feeling....it was great. I did start with a 4 day, just in case! Now honestly, if you wish to get over your fears/phobia, try a therapy called EMDR. I did it for flying and it worked very well. If you think your fear is hindering you, I would give it a shot!

 

[inkkognito]

Before I went on my first cruise, I wondered how the people on Titanic could have believe that the ship would never sink. I thought, "They had to be nuts! Why didn't they run for those lifeboats?!"
Once I sailed on the Magic, I understood their point of view. It's nearly impossible to believe that something so large could sink. If I didn't know better, I would swear I was at a giant resort. Hopefully the largeness and security of the ship would help you not worry about the sea creatures below you. You might want to stick with an inside stateroom. If you really want a verandah, get a navigators verandah or one of the aft verandah rooms with a solid metal railing.
I live a paradoxical life, as I adore water and the ocean, but I am also a timid swimmer with a terror of drowning/not being able to breath (my mother used to punish me by covering my nose and mouth with her hand when I was really young, so I can understand how you developed your jelly fish phobia). But I refuse to let my fear keep me away from the water. Hopefully you'll be able to work through yours too.
Good luck!
Barb
Visit the Platinum Castaway Club at: www.castawayclub.com

 

[BibbidyBobbidyBoo]

I hear ya.... I have always had an extreme phobia when it comes to oceans (read: saw too many Jaws movies and now even the thought of large NICE water creatures like whales without sharp teeth still freaks me out... anything bigger than something I could fit in a 10 gallon tank freaks me out- yes, even at the lake the thought of huge catfish down there keeps me kinda scared when in the boat and keeps me feet touching when swimming... hoping those big fish won't come where we're all swimming LOL) and/or any waters that could have fish that BITE or hurt (ie: eels, well known for water snakes, all the way to piranha- my phobia has no prejudice LOL) Whenever we fly- my only fear is when over the ocean... because I know if we crashed and survived... not I. I'd die immediately of a heart attack once I realized I survived and now I'm in the OCEAN..... WITH SHARKS and really really big fish...
LOL
totally irrational fear ofcourse- I should be worried about crashing (on land or water) instead. But tell that to my brain....
I am a very good swimmer- I'm just afraid of fish that can either harm me (no matter how remote the chance of that happening) or just is simply bigger than me. Even dolphins seem so great on tv- or touching at Sea world.. but the thought of me IN the open waters with a dolphin even freaks me out. I feel weird about that- but that doesn't change it..

I'm planning on overcoming this fear with the cruise. I figure if I can occasionally get on our boat at local lakes every year... I can get on the huge DCL ship. LOL

. Hopefully the largeness and security of the ship would help you not worry about the sea creatures below you. You might want to stick with an inside stateroom. If you really want a verandah, get a navigators verandah or one of the aft verandah rooms with a solid metal railing.

This is what I'm counting on. I think just the thought of the cruise is already helping- I'm already wishing to see a whale on our cruise without hyperventilating at the thought. I don't wanna see sharks though.... LOL
We do have porthole rooms but I had wanted to get a nav verandah.... couldn't get that and don't think regular verandah is a good choice for us. And we can cover the porthole if it becomes an "issue" with me- right?

Wishing you luck Dawn... I'm right there with ya!

(ps. I started working on overcoming this fear by snorkeling in the "shark" snorkeling place at Typhoon Lagoon at WDW. I almost panicked at first...not breathing correctly because scared- but I overcame it quickly. It's not the same as in open waters though... the only snorkeling excursions I have plans on possibly attemping on our cruise is snorkeling at CC)

 

[markmyboy]

I myself have plenty of irrational fears; birds, most fish & sealife, even a little bit of paranoia. When we booked our first cruise it was a kind of spur of the moment thing & as I began researching I got a little nervous (I had also never flown yet!!) I had been on boats before, but they were smaller & for some reason I felt I had some sort of control (I was also not in the middle of an ocean!!).

Once I saw the boat I had the thought "how could this thing possible float!?!" Then I thought & still do sometimes "how does this thing even stay vertical?" But I have never heard of a cruise ship tipping over & they do indeed float quite well. Once on the boat, it feels wonderful, I don't feel the motion, though there are so many remedies out there for motion sickness, I would talk to your doctor & find out which one might work best for you!

Believe it or not, snorkeling has helped me a lot with my fear of sea creatures!! I live in NJ & since my teens I have been afraid to go in the ocean because I cannot see the fish, jellyfish & whatever else might be in there. I snorkeled at Castaway Cay for the first time & was breathing all wrong, almost like hyperventilating & when a fish came near me forget it....I flipped out & started thrashing around in the water & what does my husband do?? he started hysterically laughing. I was ready to kill him...here I was thinking this little fish was going to tear me to bits & eat me & he's cracking up laughing. I can laugh about it now, seeing as how we were in about 3 or 4 feet of water & I am sure there were plenty of people up on the beach laughing at me as well, but once my husband stopped laughing & managed to calm me down I was alright. I never saw a large fish at Castaway Cay, but did manage to snorkel with the Sting Rays on our last cruise!! Now snorkeling (at Castaway Cay) is one of the highlights for me, it is very relaxing now.

I say just tell your husband that you are taking the girls on the cruise they want & if he doesn't want to come, then he is not coming!! I am sure that will go over well!!

I think if you are willing to go try the cruise despite all of your fears than you should go for the 4 day, I have a feeling you will end up enjoying it (i hope!) The kids will probably enjoy it more as well with the extra day.

 

[jerry112]

I, too, suffer from motion sickness which can and has struck at the wierdest times. In cars & busses, on trains & ferries even once as I drove through the beautiful display of Xmas lights at a large stadium. I have gone months without any problems and all of a sudden it strikes. Boy, do I have some gross stories! (I'll spare you those.) Needless to say, I was very apprehensive about our first cruise in Nov. 2003. I usually will take Bonine chewable tablets if I think I could get sick (long car trips, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad etc.) For our cruise, however, I wanted the best, so I had my doctor order me "the patch." It was great! Aside from a little blurred vision about mid-week, I never felt anything. Talk to your doctor about side affects. We have our next cruise planned for Nov.2004

As far as your husband, I agree with markmyboy. Just tell him your plans, invite him along, but stick to your guns that you are going with or without him. (of course, you would prefer with him??) I wish you and your DD's all the best. Have a wonderful time and book NOW, for the cheapest rates! And I would definately book the 4 day cruise with a day at sea after CC.

Karen (jerry112)

 

[iluvtink]

graygables,

I can sympathize... I cannot swim and I get sick crossing a long bridge over water! When we took a honeymoon cruise many years ago on NCL, I can still remember the sick feeling I had when I looked around me the first time and I couldn't see ANY land. I survived, and I never got "seasick" just "missing land sick."

It was more than a decade before my DH talked me into a 4 night trip on the Wonder. I was VERY nervous but you know what? Everyone's right. It is SOOOO big and you can actually forget you are on the water. I never felt one wave, swell, or roll, and we had a storm one night. Through the window it was like watching a movie instead of being in a real storm. Also, my DD has Sensory Integration Dysfunction, which means she is hyper-sensitive to motion, smells, sounds ... and she never felt a thing either!

Go for it, but take motion sickness medicine or a patch if you think it will give you a more secure feeling. Is DH refusing to go because he is phobic, too? Maybe if he would start reading the Cruise Line Forum here, he might see what he would be missing!

Good luck! Kim the water weenie

 

[CRB#33]

That's a lot of money to spend for something you may not enjoy.

I know we want to give our children all we can, but I'm going to risk flaming and being in the minority and suggest that you do something else.

There are wonderful, beautiful places you can take your children to for their special occasions.

There are many all-inclusive family resorts on the Caribbean islands.

California is beautiful and there is so much to do for all ages.

This way all of you could be included in the celebration of your children's events.

Now that being said, you can find much to do on the ship without ever looking out over the ocean.

 

[jrabbit]

On the Oregon coast several years ago there was a cargo ship that ran aground. They blew it up, they cut it in half, towed part of it way out to sea and the coast guard (or navy) filled if full of holes (used it for target practice to sink it). It didn't sink. Convinced me that modern cruise ships gotta be safe.

On the eastern cruise at noon every day the captain comes on and gives you the location (lat/long) speed and direction and how far the floor of the ocean is. I don't remember exactly how many thousands of feet of water you are on but I think that it is miles and miles of ocean underneath you. Sorry, just freaked you out again

 

[crisi]

I'm kind of with CBR#33 - it is an awful lot of money to spend if you aren't going to enjoy it. Why does your DD want to cruise? What does she believe she is going to get? 10 is a pretty young age to enjoy cruising for cruising's sake (too young to sit in a pool chair drinking Bahama Mama's - probably too young to enjoy two hours of four course meals). Is there something else you could do that your daughter will enjoy?

And we went with relatively calm oceans and I don't get motion sickness - but I DID know a few times I was on a boat.

On the other hand, if you think sitting by the pool with a rum drink in hand (or sitting on the beach in the same position) sounds like enough fun to overcome your fear - go for it. I didn't know if I would enjoy cruising or not - I'm not a beach person, have never liked sea air and traditionally have taken more active vacations - but we loved it.

 

[Nick@ VB+OKW]

Originally posted by CRB#33
I know we want to give our children all we can, but I'm going to risk flaming and being in the minority and suggest that you do something else.

 

[goofyguy1958]

The only advise I can give you is that if you do not try it you will never know what you are missing. Let me explain, for our honeymoon, my wife had her heart set on doing a cruise. I had absolutely no desire to be stuck on a boat for a week and thought I would bve bored to death. Boy was I wrong, the cruise (NCL) was 14 years ago and I still say that it was the best week of my life. My second adventure with not wanting to do something was when I was 35-years-old and DW was trying to convince me to go to WDW for the first time - she had been there 5 times before. I didn't want to go because I believed it was purely for kids. Again, BOY WAS I WRONG. WDW is my favorite place in the world!!!!!!! WDW is my favorite place in the world!!!!!!![/COLOR] So, I was wrong both times and if I wasn't so lucky to have a smarter than I DW I would never have experienced the best week of my life or any of the Disney magic. Go for it. And tell DH he is really missing out on the wonders of life!!!

 

[jfis1020]

If my DH didn't want to go on a cruise I would go w/o him, but given the fact that you have daughters.................If our DD wanted to do something so badly, all she would have to do is bat her little eyelashes at her daddy and well........................

I too would hate to see you miss something that you may end up enjoying! There again you have to decide who this is for and are you willing to sacrifice your fears for them? Don't let fears interfear with your happiness and most importantly fond memories of your time with your girls. Remember, they are just yours to "borrow" for a few years..................enjoy them.

 

[CRB#33]

Heeeyyy, You flamin' me???

 

[graygables]

Thank you all so far for your words of advice and encouragement (and for freaking me out even more! JK...LOL!)

DD has been wanting to go on a cruise since she was 4, I really don't know what her fascination is with it. It doesn't help that DCL has really neat commercials for her to watch! For some reason, 10 is the magical number for her.

My oldest-at-home will be turning 18 that year and graduating high school, so I thought we could just incorporate all of the celebrations together which makes me feel better about the $$$ spent.

I had no idea about Bonine, I was always a Dramamine/Phenergan knock-me-out kind of kid (my childhood moment that my family loves to tease me about is throwing up at the foot of Mount Vesuvius...the Amalfi drive in Italy is killer on motion sickness!) I'll definitely have to give it a try!

As far as DH goes, he grew up with an alcoholic father and a mother from West Virginia (literally a McCoy) who never finished 8th grade, so they never did anything that a "normal" family does. He really has no clue about the concept (or importance) of vacations and doesn't see the "need" for any of us to go on one and certainly not him. Our first family vacation in 9 years was in December and the only reason he went was because we won a trip to WDW in a contest!

We are very much a "mid-century" kind of family, but I feel that experiences for children are important. He is of the mindset that "not every kid gets to go on a cruise, so ours don't need to", but I just think it would be such a special and one of a kind experience for them before my DD2 moves on with her life. I also think that if I'm willing to overcome phobias and motion sickness for my children (and for me) that he should either go or not complain that we're going and "leaving him" (a common complaint when we go visit family)

Again, thank you for all of your responses and giving me a lot to consider and think about. I am seriously leaning towards a 4 day in January of 2006!

Dawn, Mom24Belles

 

[iluvtink]

Dawn,

You go for it girl! Keep an eye out for as soon as they release the 2006 dates, so you can get it as cheap as possible!

Or, you can book for Dec. 29, 2005 now! Oh, but to get the $200 cruise rebate from Dreams Unlimited, you'd have to complete your trip by 12/31/2005. So you'd have to go on Dec. 22nd and be on board for Christmas! How cool ... would DH go then?

I just can't bash DH for not understanding how wonderful family vacations can be. We're all products of how we were raised. I'm just gonna add him to my prayers to get an couple of extra rations of pixie dust before then!

Good luck!
Kim

 

[mketting]

I can honestly say that it was hard to believe we were on a ship in the ocean!! You will love it. My cousin has many problems with motion sickness and even though the first night was rocky she never got sick. She just took dramamine throughout just in case.