Advice for little girl with REALLY long, tangly hair

[FreshTressa]

I think part of the problem might be what one of the early poster's said and it is too much product.

Her hair does seem kind of "sticky"

 

[Roxanne]

Along with a good conditioner, I use a technique I learned in beauty school many moons ago, that I use on my daughter all the time. She has really fine hair that tangles easy. After her bath, when her hair is wet, I do the following.

Use a wide toothed comb. Gather all her hair up in a clip but leave a little section out at the nape. This is the important part: Start combing at the bottom of her hair-at the ends-don't start by the scalp. Gradually work your way up the hair shafts. When you get that section smooth, unclip a little more and do that same. This works great for my daughter and her comb outs are basically pain free. At the end, I use a fine toothed comb and make sure every tangle is out.

I can't tell you how many times I've had my hair done (which is long also) and to comb it out, the cosmetologist starts yanking through it at the scalp. This really causes the hair to tangle even more-and it's painful. Apparently, they aren't teaching the above method in beauty school anymore because it happens to me all the time. I've actually borrowed their comb and shown them how to comb long hair out so it doesn't hurt.

So my advice is to start at the ends and work your way up. And of course, get it trimmed regularly and use conditioners and all the other products people have mentioned. Good luck.

ETA: I should add that I only comb my daugther's hair every other day when she takes a bath. I don't comb it during the day unless it looks ratty. Her tangles come out so much more easily when I do the Ends First method, there's no need to constantly comb her hair.

This is exactly what I was going to say. Always work from the bottom up when you brush or comb long hair, then brush from the scalp to the ends once. Brush it before you go into the shower and comb it with the conditioner in it while you are still in the shower, then rinse. I have used Finesse extra moisturizing formula shampoo and conditioner for almost 20 years on my long hair - nothing else will do. I don't care what else is on sale! Also, when you shampoo - only scrub the scalp to be squeeky clean. Just work those suds through the rest of the length and then rinse, then put the conditioner on the ends only. If you use a hairdryer, keep brushing gently as you dry, but NEVER use a dryer until the hair is totally dry - you will just fry it. Even if I only use the dryer for a few minutes, for some reason it keeps my hair softer. All you need to do is towel it dry, then use the dryer to style a little and let it air dry the rest of the way. Brush it after it is totally dry, then brush it several times a day - at lunch, after work/school and before bed (or for kids, at bath time, and then again in the morning). You need to brush it through to bring the oil from your scalp to the ends, to keep the ends soft. If you shower in the morning, brushing before bed is essential. Except for right before you shower, this is when your scalp has the most oil on it and it has all night to sink into the hair shaft.

The other rule is - NO HAIRSPRAY! It makes your hair sticky and dries it out, and keeps you from brushing regularly. Sometimes I use a leave in conditioner but then I get build up on my scalp - yuck! Leave in conditioner can be OK as long as you use it sparingly, and not every day. You should wash out chlorine as soon as possible after leaving the pool.

The key is to keep the hair soft and pliable by keeping it conditioned. This way it will be less brittle and break less. If your hair is dry and brittle, it will be hard to brush and will break easier when forced. I don't care what those Pantene commercials say, once you break a hair, the only way to fix a split end is to cut above it, so regular trims are also a must. They say you should get a trim every 6 weeks but as long as the hair is healthy and you baby it, every 6 months should be OK. Good luck!

 

[ReneeA]

My DD who is only 2 had long, stringy, tangly hair reaching to her butt. My DH LOVES long hair, and really didn't want it cut. I had it one night after bath trying to comb and detangle with her howling that it hurt. Not to mention, it ALWAYS looked messy.

I chopped it off into a bob just below her chin, and MAN, is it cute. Even DH loves it and reminds me about every other month to trim it up since her hair grows like a weed.

That's the only solution I've came up with.

 

[mamacatnv]

My DD also has straight, fine hair to her bottom. I keep the ends trimmed and also use the Garnier Fructis conditioner for long hair, I was using the shampoo also but found her hair to be sticky and oily looking, so I switched her back to my shampoo, Biolage "Normalizing" and I use the Garnier long hair conditioner. I use very little of the conditioner in the scalp area and concentrate on the length and the ends. Another product that I like for de-tangling but not conditioning is the Biolage "Detangler".

Loose braid at night a must. I pull the sides and secure with a bow daily for school, it is cute and keeps it out of her face but she still has her long hair down her back. She also has bangs.

I know this sounds weird but I have a crimper and when her hair is crimped it tends to tangle less.

My DD loves her hair and loves being the "long haired bow girl".

MamaCatNV

 

[minkydog]

The only advice I have is CUT IT! My dd HAD long hair, about 1/2 way down her back. She gave me such a hard time about combing it and keeping it neat I had it cut to just around her shoulders. It is still considered long, but not ridiculously so. She uses conditioner, and then I comb it and braid it when it's wet. She will wear it braided for one day, and then loose the second day when it is all kinky from the braids.

There is a girl in her class with hair to her knees. but it is always braided or put up so I really wonder why they keep it that long. I mean really, what's the point? Sadly, that child's whole personality is wrapped up in the long hair. That has become WHO she is, "oh, the one with the long hair".

I'm with you. If you're only going to let her wear it in a braid or a tail, then what's the point. I learned a long time ago to let my DD handle her own hair. As long as she could style it and keep it tangle free I don't care how she wears it. Oh, we used to have all the crying & screeching & hair-pulling sessions--until I told her she'd either have to bear with it or cut the hair. She opted to cut it(at age 4, broke her daddy's heart!) She has been taking care of her hair totally since that time. For many years she kept it short. Now that she's in middle school, she likes to wear it long & loose. She has thick, wavy "Greek hair." Absolutely beautiful, very exotic-looking. the only time I'm called in to work on it is when she wants it ironed

 

[ChibiJones]

My hair tangles like mad too. I was about that age when my mom got tired of fighting with it every morning and had it cut. It was cut to about shoulder-length. The pony tail is still around somewhere at my parents house. Leading up to it, I was probably upset, but I quickly came around afterwards when it didn't hurt to brush my hair.

My hair is really long now, down to the small of my back. Lately, I've had good luck using Frederick Tekkai products (they are at some Bath & Body Works). They are expensive, but I've found myself using a fraction of the shampoo and conditioner that I use with other products. I have a sample of their glossing gel that has really been helped keep my hair fairly tangle-free throughout the day.

A week from today, I'm chopping my hair again. It is just too much of a pain for me to deal with. Plus, I'm tired of it always being in a pony tail. This time, the hair is getting donated to Locks of Love. Maybe your DD would be interested in donating her hair to help another child.

 

[ahutton]

Lots of great suggestions here for the long term. My girls both have hair that is a little longer than shoulder length, they are 3 and 6. Both wear their hair down, or mostly down every day as they will not leave hair braids, bows and such in place. Because their skin is so dry we only do baths every few days, and then on the other mornings to get them brushed for school I use a couple pumps of "Maya Papaya" leave in conditioner I get at Bath and Body works, or a similar leave in conditioner in a little pump from Aussie. That and some No More Tangles spray in tough spots done with a wide tooth comb helps me get them ready for school in a few minutes with little complaint.

 

[CathrynRose]

My daughter, 7, has hair that reaches her mid booty.

She does not want it cut, and I'm having trouble finding a product that gets rid of all the tangles...and brushing her hair every day has become a NIGHTMARE.

Any advice?

Any silicone product (Biosilk makes one, matrix, beadhead)

Put it in when wet, and it will keep her from tangling up, when dry.

OR they also sell aerosol spray ones - but I like the liquid.

And Matrix "Sleek Look" (orange bottle) will make her hair like butter, all the time.

 

[FreshTressa]

Thanks guys..

I'm making her trim it to waist length tonight...that is long enough. I don't remember it being this bad last year, so maybe it needs a trim.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

In answer to the question, "Why have long hair, then?", I'll tell you the answer, at least for my DD10: When she was 4, she decided she wanted to grow her hair to her knees and then donate. She was inspired by the fact that she has gorgeous thick, blonde hair that total strangers would constantly comment on. She wanted to share her "gift". How could I argue? Fast forward 6 years, her hair is "there", but now she doesn't want to cut it yet. I keep thinking she will when puberty hits and we have to wash it more often. Frankly, she has so much hair, it overwhelms her pretty face. Also, as a mom, I worry about too much of her identity being "the girl with the hair", when she has many other fine qualities. But, it's her hair, I don't want to force her to cut it, she never complains about my fixing it for her. So, here we are.

I hope that explaination makes sense to you--I know you weren't trying to make trouble, I thought you might like to hear the logic behind it (in our house, anyway).

 

[wilderness01]

I get my daughter's hair trimmed every 4 weeks and that has helped alot. It also helps if you do the end to scalp combing (wide tooth comb only) and do not use a brush. I let her use my balm conditioner and she uses insta-cure leave in conditioner after every shower. Her hair is in perfect condition and is not the nightmare it used to be. Good luck.

 

[FayeW]

In answer to the question, "Why have long hair, then?", I'll tell you the answer, at least for my DD10: When she was 4, she decided she wanted to grow her hair to her knees and then donate. She was inspired by the fact that she has gorgeous thick, blonde hair that total strangers would constantly comment on. She wanted to share her "gift". How could I argue? Fast forward 6 years, her hair is "there", but now she doesn't want to cut it yet. I keep thinking she will when puberty hits and we have to wash it more often. Frankly, she has so much hair, it overwhelms her pretty face. Also, as a mom, I worry about too much of her identity being "the girl with the hair", when she has many other fine qualities. But, it's her hair, I don't want to force her to cut it, she never complains about my fixing it for her. So, here we are.

I hope that explaination makes sense to you--I know you weren't trying to make trouble, I thought you might like to hear the logic behind it (in our house, anyway).

Thanks, that actually does make sense. I'm too much of a drill sergeant I guess. The child I mentioned (or her mother) seems to look for attention. Last Christmas the class participated in a concert. The note came home instructing the children to wear "white or light coloured blouse/shirt, and navy or black skirt/pants" Pretty clear, right? This child showed up in a bright red, sparkly, floor length ensemble. I thought that she must be doing a solo or something, but no, her mother just chose to ignore the request. Sure, she looked pretty (and her hair was down that day, only time I'd ever seen it), but she did take away from the other kids who dressed appropriately.

 

[disneygals]

http://www.baysidebrushco.com/altesse hair brushes page2.html

I have hair past my waist and swear by these brushes by Altesse. They have nylon bristles, but no balls on the end. I have used these for 25 years.
I have straight thick fine hair and my dd has thick curly hair. She brushes hers in the shower with conditioner on it. (after years of trauma) If she doesn't want to shower I spray a mix of any conditioner and water before I brush it out. For my hair I never brush it wet, wait for it to dry, start brushing at the ends as described in a previous post and use spray on the rat's nests parts.

 

[giddygirl]

I've got hair down to my mid-back. Not really long by any stretch of the imagination. But since it's very fine and there's enough of it, it will tangle easily.
I will comb my hair before I wash it in the shower when it is still dry. That was there are no tangles when it gets wet. I had a stylist inform me one time that when you try to detangle when it's still wet, the tangles will get even worse. Also, when you are washing it, don't rub the hair together, like they do in the movies! Instead work the shampoo / conditioner down the hair starting at the scalp.
I definitely agree with other posters about brushing and wearing it in a pony tail before bed time.
And for the product buildup, I wash my hair with a scoop of baking soda then follow up with my regular shampoo. That gets rid of any buildup and doesn't dry my hair out like some clarifying shampoos do.

HTH!

 

[mamacatnv]

GiddyGirl:
Baking Soda, I'm gonna have to try that on DD. Do you do this every time you wash or just occassionally? Do you have colored/weaved hair? If yes, does this effect the color?

MamaCatNV

 

[giddygirl]

I definitely don't do it every time, but just when I noticed that my hair had a lot of buildup. I have highlited hair, and it doesn't effect it since I am not leaving it on for long, nor am I using it very often.
Laura