Adult Trip....so we thought

[DisneyDink]

We're supposed to be bringing our friends down with us in late October for an adults only weekend (using our new membership at the Grand Floridian villas) . He has kids from his first marriage which he has every other weekend. They're great kids but we have no children and this is supposed to be an adults only trip. Well, all of a sudden his ex-wife needs to switch weekends and he doesn't think it's a big deal to just bring them along. For us however it totally changes everything about the trip. The plan has always been to lay by the pool during the day, eat out at the signature restaurants, and enjoy the fun Disney nightlife, not babysit during the day and stay in the room at night. Any thoughts on how to suggest we eighty-six this trip and do it (either a trip planned for kids or an adult trip) another time?

 

[North of Mouse]

We're supposed to be bringing our friends down with us in late October for an adults only weekend (using our new membership at the Grand Floridian villas) . He has kids from his first marriage which he has every other weekend. They're great kids but we have no children and this is supposed to be an adults only trip. Well, all of a sudden his ex-wife needs to switch weekends and he doesn't think it's a big deal to just bring them along. For us however it totally changes everything about the trip. The plan has always been to lay by the pool during the day, eat out at the signature restaurants, and enjoy the fun Disney nightlife, not babysit during the day and stay in the room at night. Any thoughts on how to suggest we eighty-six this trip and do it (either a trip planned for kids or an adult trip) another time?

Yes, just be open and honest! We're sorry you won't be available on that week end so we'll just plan to go at another time - or words to that effect.

Anyone that doesn't understand, and seems to be clueless about 'adults only' just needs a straight forward response to their change in plans. There is no way I would go along with his 'change'. It would be just as you said - 'a long week end baby sitting'

 

[DisneyDink]

Thanks, that's what we were thinking. We're just still suffering the consequences of having an adults only wedding so we're not looking forward to dealing with this. We truly love kids but jeeze, it seems as if some parents think as soon as they procreate the world should fall in line to accommodate their little ones at all times! Since it's our treat it seems, well, just plain rude but we're sure they won't be seeing it that way.

 

[Wild4Walt]

It sucks that you're running into this issue. I understand completely. I have a friend who always feels that when we do things I want to spend every moment with her daughter. The kids cute and some time is great, but I hate when people make you the 'babysitter' like that.

I agree, be honest and upfront as possible with sensitivity. How much space do you have? Is the room big enough to fit everyone? That could be an issue too.

 

[DisneyDink]

We have a 2 bedroom so the space isn't the issue, it's just more that we're using our vacation time and our points for what we thought would be an adult long weekend.

I'm sure from his perspective he'll be taking care of his kids, so it's not a big deal. And while he is a really good father sometimes it's exhausting just watching him parent. We just want to be able to relax and maybe even curse on our vacation! (In the privacy of our own room that is, we wouldn't be dropping f bombs in the magic kingdom)

 

[LaurenT]

I have a kid, and we include her in a lot of things that many parents don't....
But even I would not presume to "tell" you that we've decided to bring her on the vacation you invited us on!
I'm going all by myself in November (50th birthday present from DH) specifically so that I can do all the things you can't do when there's a kid along.
Let him know that you think his kids are adorable, but that this is an adults only trip and perhaps grandma can watch them .... If not then you look forward to trying again with them in the future.

 

[APiratesLifeForMe2]

WOW! I really can't believe it was assumed it would be ok just to bring the kids. Definitely have a talk with him and let him know you want to keep it adults only. I am sure as a parent he understands the differences between time with your kids and time without. I'm going to throw your friend a bone and think that he was put in a difficult position of not wanting to be the friend that has to bail on the trip so he is offering just to bring his kids so it doesn't put you out?

In either case, talk it over with him and try and reschedule or see if kids can stay with someone else (grandparents etc).

Good luck

 

[DisneyDink]

WOW! I really can't believe it was assumed it would be ok just to bring the kids. Definitely have a talk with him and let him know you want to keep it adults only. I am sure as a parent he understands the differences between time with your kids and time without. I'm going to throw your friend a bone and think that he was put in a difficult position of not wanting to be the friend that has to bail on the trip so he is offering just to bring his kids so it doesn't put you out?

In either case, talk it over with him and try and reschedule or see if kids can stay with someone else (grandparents etc).

Good luck

Yea, it seems logical that parents would understand that there's a difference between adult time and kids time. However we had people flat out refuse to come to our black tie wedding because their kids were not invited (despite the fact we got sitters for their kids). Needless to say it's been our experience that people can be super prickly and illogical when it comes to their children being "excluded"! We're going out with him and his new wife tomorrow night so we'll see what happens!

 

[tmg4612]

I can only say that I am outraged. The ex-wife's "change of plans" must be incredible to trump your friend's vacation plans. But people who pray at the altar of their children will never understand your honesty - I think you need to make up an excuse to cancel or blame Disney for "overbooking" your 2 bedroom and subbing a 1 bedroom. Sorry also for any rude guest that dared scoff at an adult only wedding!

 

[LaurenT]

Wow! I got flack from a couple of people for being upset that my daughter wasn't invited to a wedding....
BUT, she was a first cousin and her older brothers were invited .... And they know she's a well behaved kid (was 9 at the time) and they did have other kids there (ring bearer and flower girl) and my DD is adopted from China and I felt like she was beig singled out. AND I never said anything to the bride and groom because it's their wedding not mine. We still went. I can't imagine refusing to go over something like that....

 

[APiratesLifeForMe2]

Yea, it seems logical that parents would understand that there's a difference between adult time and kids time. However we had people flat out refuse to come to our black tie wedding because their kids were not invited (despite the fact we got sitters for their kids). Needless to say it's been our experience that people can be super prickly and illogical when it comes to their children being "excluded"! We're going out with him and his new wife tomorrow night so we'll see what happens!

Well if people refused to come to your wedding simply because they couldn't bring their kids, then maybe they're not such great friends after all. We had people add their kids to their invite but we just let it go since other kids were there. Our rule was it'd they were family, kids were included, but anyone else, just adults. Only two families did this so it wasn't too big of a deal. Hopefully your conversation tonight goes well!!! Keep us updated.

 

[mevelandry]

Honesty is the best. A trip with adults is not the same as a trip with children. Just suggest to switch the dates... And pray that your friend did NOT already tell his children that they are going to Disney.