Absolutely sick over a $150.00 flower girl dress

[disneymac]

Is your dd excited to be in the wedding? I was a flower girl when I was a little girl and I remember just being thrilled about it! I was always so happy when those pictures came out!

Does that help? Good luck.

 

[mking624]

My sister was my flower girl (she was 6 at the time) and her dress was a little over $100. We, personally, didn't find it to be a big deal. Not that we normally have that kind of money to spend on a dress, but it's not exactly unusual for dresses for a bridal party to be in that price range if not more. The way I've always looked at it is that if I'm going to agree to be in a wedding party, I have to expect that I'm going to be spending some $$ on the wedding attire. I wouldn't have been shocked at the price since that usually comes with the territory.

You can always talk to the bride privately and explain your dilemma and remind her that your DD was 2nd choice, so you didn't exactly have the time to save up as you woul dhave had she been asked in a decent amount of time.

 

[Mandy_in_NC]

My 2 daughters are going to flower girls in a wedding this Saturday and the bride found the most beautiful dresses on a web site called butterflyxc.com. We paid a total of $70.00 all together. They were around $30.00 a piece then shipping was $10.00. She went and looked at the high dollar bridal stores first then she looked at this site and found almost the same dresses. So my advice is to look on the net for dresses. Hope that helps.

 

[Gillian]

My 2 daughters are going to flower girls in a wedding this Saturday and the bride found the most beautiful dresses on a web site called butterflyxc.com. We paid a total of $70.00 all together. They were around $30.00 a piece then shipping was $10.00. She went and looked at the high dollar bridal stores first then she looked at this site and found almost the same dresses. So my advice is to look on the net for dresses. Hope that helps.

Those dresses are adorable! I don't know anyone getting married right now, but I'm going to bookmark it just in case.

To the OP, I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this. Family can be such a pain sometimes.

 

[ncbyrne]

Weddings, weddings, weddings....they bring out the best and the WORST in families. I am 60 years old and all 5 of our DKs have been married - I'm glad those days are over! Weddings are a wonderful, but very stressful time. Take a deep breath and think about the gorgeous photographs you will have of your daughter and the special day with your family. This time next year it will all be a memory - make those memories nice ones to look back on. Our attitude counts more than the $ - always.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I would just say, I'm sorry but there is NO way we can afford that. Literally. I do not have the money in the budget to pay for that. I wish I did! Then leave it at that. She will either offer to let you pick out a cheaper dress, or perhaps offer to pay for the super expensive wasteful probably somewhat tacky dress she has already selected. Clearly this woman is selfish, selfish, selfish. Anyone who orders a last minute CHILD bridal party member to purchase an expensive, utterly useless (outside the wedding) dress and throws a fit when the parents suggest something more reasonable could honestly bite me. And no, I would not care how much family strife it would cause, because I literally DO NOT HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY. Can't sqeeze water from a stone, ya know?

 

[barkley]

when we married i advised the bridesmaids (3) what colors i prefered (but i was open to other options if it looked terrible on one) and suggested they discuss among themselves how much they felt comfortable putting out on a dress. i had been in weddings that i never wore the dresses again and figured if they had some say in it they might select something they could use again. we went out together and selected a dress that suited the wedding, suited their budgets, and suited their tastes for future use. for the flower girl-i just gave her mom a swatch of the material and asked if she had/could find something that would look similar in color it would be fine. the ring bearer wore a dark suit he already owned. the photos looked no less special and the kids were much more comfortable in what they were wearing.

the only advantage to people buying overpriced children's bridal fashions is that people like me can go to goodwill and rebuy them for less than $10 (the racks are full of them-adult sizes too-great resource for cruise wear ).

some 20 years later i still give my best friend a bad time over the dresses she chose for us attendants to wear at her wedding-teal with black roses i tell her the only saving grace was that they were purchased at a department store with a very liberal return policy so i was able to take the dress back the next day for a store credit (when i was returning it the clerk asked 'what ever possessed you to buy this in the first place? this dress looks terrible on everyone! ).

if you have the type of family that will make life a living hell if dd does'nt participate you may have to suck it up and do it-but if the identical dress is available on ebay or elsewhere for less i'de be buying it there. unless the bride is paying for the dress she has no right/no control over where it is purchased (and if she goes ahead and orders it she can eat the cost).

feel sorry for the sucker whose wedding this 'gem'

 

[Hedy]

Coud you try to persuade her to use a cheaper dress? I know of "flower girls" who re-used their Easter/Communion dresses. That said, my concern would be a) if your DD has already been told about this, would she be dsappointed, and b) would she be hurt that her sisters got to be in weddings but she didn't.

 

[pyrxtc]

Just have one thing to post.....

http://www.etiquettehell.com/content/eh_main/gen/eh_index.shtml

Good Luck!

 

[ameraumi]

I thought I was the only one dealing with this!

DD is going to be the flower girl in my brother's wedding in Nov. The dress is $150 and looks like this:

While it is a beautiful dress, I had a hard time spending that kind of money for a dress she will wear a few hours. I am hoping I can recoup some of the cost on ebay when it is all said and done. I am still trying to find someone to alter it.

Plus, DH and DS will need tuxes at $100 a piece. This is also a 2 night affair out of town, so hotel rooms are needed. It is going to wind up being a very expensive weekend. But I'm looking at it this way: he finally found someone to put up with him so I should be happy.

 

[imsayin]

My niece was just in a wedding. The dress at the bridal shop ws $150, my sister ordered it from houseof brides.com for $90 & didn't get any alterations. I have pictures of my mom as a flower girl 70 years ago - they are priceless.

 

[disneynutt1225]

It sounds like it's more the fact that your daughter was an afterthought versus the price of the dress that's bothering you. If you really don't want your daughter to be in the wedding, politely decline. I don't really think the bride is being a bridezilla, and really I think that name gets tossed around ridiculously for some of the silliest reasons. Unless there are other things going on than her picking out a dress she wants your daughter to wear (which isn't unreasonably priced for a dress) she's really not being any different than most other brides out there.

I was just married a little over a week ago. My flower girl dress cost a little over $100 and my MOH (the flower girl's mother) didn't gripe about it at all. In fact, it was less than the cost of the dress she bought her daughter for her (the MOH's) wedding last year. My girls never complained about the costs of the bridesmaids dresses (under $200), even though most of them will probably never wear them again. They all paid for their own dresses and shoes; I picked up the tab for the hair and nails and I bought them all necklaces to wear that they all absolutely loved. Not only that, but the whole bridal party gave us gifts for my bridal shower and very generous unexpected gifts for the wedding.

Being in a wedding is NOT inexpensive, any way you toss the coin. I've been in 5 weddings in my life not including my own, and I'm frightened to add up the total cost of all 5. It's a large committment, financially and emotionally. If you really feel strongly about not getting the dress, please do yourself and the bride and groom a favor and decline your daughter being a part of their day. It will just make all parties miserable if you agree and complain about it. That's just my $.02.

 

[Boncho]

I would just say, I'm sorry but there is NO way we can afford that. Literally. I do not have the money in the budget to pay for that. I wish I did! Then leave it at that. She will either offer to let you pick out a cheaper dress, or perhaps offer to pay for the super expensive wasteful probably somewhat tacky dress she has already selected. Clearly this woman is selfish, selfish, selfish. Anyone who orders a last minute CHILD bridal party member to purchase an expensive, utterly useless (outside the wedding) dress and throws a fit when the parents suggest something more reasonable could honestly bite me. And no, I would not care how much family strife it would cause, because I literally DO NOT HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY. Can't sqeeze water from a stone, ya know?

 

[LauraAnn630]

Being in a wedding is not inexpensive. I dont think $150.00 is that bad. Anyone in the bridal party is going to pay at least that. I have excepted offers to be a bridesmate. I have also been bummed out about paying for the dress, shoes, earrings, nylons, hair accesoiries...ect! Then when your hubby is asked to be a groomsman....then you got the tux, shoe rental....bachlores party...showers, decorating the limo....ITS VERY EXPENSIVE! Oh yea...then theres the gifts! It never stops!
Then they take off and goto the Bahamas and you gotta go back to work!! lol

 

[marthachick]

My 2 daughters are going to flower girls in a wedding this Saturday and the bride found the most beautiful dresses on a web site called butterflyxc.com. We paid a total of $70.00 all together. They were around $30.00 a piece then shipping was $10.00. She went and looked at the high dollar bridal stores first then she looked at this site and found almost the same dresses. So my advice is to look on the net for dresses. Hope that helps.

Mandy,
My DN is getting married and is looking for a flower girl dress. How long did it take to get the dresses & were they good quality? I emailed her mom a link to the site. She's very interested. Thanks for the heads up!
Lisa (also in NC)

 

[ilovejack02]

I thought I was the only one dealing with this!

DD is going to be the flower girl in my brother's wedding in Nov. The dress is $150 and looks like this:

While it is a beautiful dress, I had a hard time spending that kind of money for a dress she will wear a few hours. I am hoping I can recoup some of the cost on ebay when it is all said and done. I am still trying to find someone to alter it.

Plus, DH and DS will need tuxes at $100 a piece. This is also a 2 night affair out of town, so hotel rooms are needed. It is going to wind up being a very expensive weekend. But I'm looking at it this way: he finally found someone to put up with him so I should be happy.

That is a GORGEOUS dress!!!

 

[java]

Wow those butterflyxc dresses are beautiful for that price! I wish I saw that before last years Holy Communion disasters. I bookmarked that one too for the future! I guess the only really out there one was a wedding for my best friend- it was holiday time and she picked only 2 bridesmaids- So she picked out a dress for us to wear that was $650!!! Oh and it was a one time only kind of a dress. But she is my best friend so I sucked it up and did it. (man that was 16 years ago and I still can quote the price... I guess it was a sticker shocker for me) My dd has been in 3 weddings- we only bought the dress once(brides bought in the other instances)

 

[mnosky]

8 years ago the chepaest flower girl dresses I could find were $100 (I needed a line that came in little girl and big girl sizes so that limited me some) so maybe my family wasn't happy - they were great and didn't complain or anything (at least to me). Honestly 150 isn't too bad compared to what a lot of the flower girl dresses are but if it's too much just say so and bow out - if the bride really wants her to be in it she'll contribute or find a lower priced dress.
Anyway, if you have time - you may want to do an internet search for the best price on the dress - I would bet you can save at least 20% or more from the bridal store price doing this. (my gown was almost 30% less) Bridal stores hide the brand and style # though sometimes to kepe you form doing this- I figure if thier prices weren't so inflated and/or had good service, they wouldn't have to worry! Discount Bridal Service has an 800 # and local reps that can also order a dress for you.
Good luck.
Michelle

Edited to add - wow - check put those dresses on butterflyxc - those are great prices!

 

[mjbaby]

It sounds like it's more the fact that your daughter was an afterthought versus the price of the dress that's bothering you. If you really don't want your daughter to be in the wedding, politely decline. I don't really think the bride is being a bridezilla, and really I think that name gets tossed around ridiculously for some of the silliest reasons. Unless there are other things going on than her picking out a dress she wants your daughter to wear (which isn't unreasonably priced for a dress) she's really not being any different than most other brides out there.

I agree. The dress doesn't sound out of line to me for a flower girl - about what I'd expect to pay if my daughter were in a wedding. Maybe it's a regional thing in terms of expectations? If I had agreed that my daughter would be a flower girl, I wouldn't think that it's an overly high price. Now, I'm not saying it's a cost I could shoulder easily, just that it seems in line with what these things tend to cost.

I agree it seems more like the "afterthought" aspect that might be the true issue here as well as some issues with regards to how the OP feels about the bride's upbringing. The dress may be a handy reason to let out years of frustration with regards to the bride herself.

 

[shelly3girls]

I know how you feel. My DD has been in two weddings in the last 1 1/2 years. One of the marriages is all ready divorced!

And I realize that your sis-in-law won't shop anywhere else but a bridal shop. but I bought my dresses at boutique4kids.com they have a lot of dresses that are reasonably priced.

What I did was go to their website and pick out a bunch of dresses I liked both the style and the price of. Then i printed them out and showed them to her. Plus if you go to the bridal shop with the pictures of the dresses you may be able to show her they are the same exact dresses. Just quite a bit less expensive. And the alterations were easy to make. I just did a tack at the shoulders to pull the dress up a little and make the armholes smaller.

I did a lot of searches on different search engines and just kept putting in flower girl dresses, bridesmaid dresses etc. There are tons of places. And the quality of the dresses we got were fine. Not cheap dresses just lower cost!

HTH and good luck

I wish I knew about this site 2 months ago. UsAngels is the designer that the boutiques around here carry and I coul have saved $40 off DD's dress! They are beautiful dresses and outstanding quality. They are the flower girl dresses many bridal shops carry so I would definitely comparison shop.