About 7 Months and Counting...

[BeyondNeverland]

I lost my dad to stage 4 Lymphoma back in June of this year.
I feel that I am doing pretty good for the Most part. I just really hate how unpredictable grieving is. I’ve been losing it since Thanksgiving when it comes to my dad. Christmas Eve was his holiday and knowing that we have to go through it without him... it’s really getting to me. I also have a birthday coming up this month and knowing that i won’t get that special phone call from him.... it’s honestly... I just wish he was here. For once I want him here telling me what to do.

They say the first year is the hardest. I can truly say it is... any tips or advice would be nice right now.

 

[theluckyrabbit]

I'm so sorry. You're right about grief being unpredictable -- and that is part of what makes grieving hard and so tiring. The pain is real and you're not wrong to feel it or to acknowledge it. So many people here on the DIS know what you are going through -- so don't ever think that you're alone in this! Would talking about it help you? Is there someone you can talk with to share holiday and birthday memories of your dad? Being able to laugh and cry together with someone else can be really helpful. Hanging on to the good memories is so important -- they can be some of the most special gifts you'll have from your dad. And as the pain and grief become less sharp (and they will -- it's just different for each person -- they may never disappear, but they won't stay this overwhelming forever), you'll find yourself really cherishing those memories. Big hug to you! Please remember that people here do care.

 

[BeyondNeverland]

I'm so sorry. You're right about grief being unpredictable -- and that is part of what makes grieving hard and so tiring. The pain is real and you're not wrong to feel it or to acknowledge it. So many people here on the DIS know what you are going through -- so don't ever think that you're alone in this! Would talking about it help you? Is there someone you can talk with to share holiday and birthday memories of your dad? Being able to laugh and cry together with someone else can be really helpful. Hanging on to the good memories is so important -- they can be some of the most special gifts you'll have from your dad. And as the pain and grief become less sharp (and they will -- it's just different for each person -- they may never disappear, but they won't stay this overwhelming forever), you'll find yourself really cherishing those memories. Big hug to you! Please remember that people here do care.

Thank you for your advice. My friends have been a really big comfort source for me and my mom is too. Day of the dead was o think the easiest day. I didn't cry at all. I listened to my dad's favorite music, ate his foods, did his favorite things , and me and my family just talked about him.... I didn't cry. I was too happy remembering him. I really wonder if I can recreate that day but also apply it to Christmas haha. Thank you very much for your advice. ❤

 

[ncc1701]

First off I am so sorry for the lost of your Dad. They are right the 1st year is the hardest. This is now the 5th Christmas without my Dad & while I may shed a tear or 2, smiles & happy memories are now what comes first.
As the PP said the grief will change with time and there will be more smiles & laughs with your memories than tears.

 

[BeyondNeverland]

I’m sorry for your loss as well. I got sad today because it is Christmas Eve and I visited my dads house to drop off gifts for my step family.... i got sad because I did want to stay and be with them but im trying to keep everyone and myself safe by avoiding large gatherings. I was also sad because Every time I do visit, my dads presence is so strong there... just made me miss him. Surprisingly I didn’t cry. But I know I wI’ll soon. Happy memories help. I have a few based on Christmas Eve alone... but thank you .