Abortion vs Adoption

[SandraM]

Being adopted myself I have thought about this topic a lot.
I feel quite strongly that a woman should have the right to choose.
That said, I think abortion will be a popular option until it becomes acceptable to be pregnant whether married or not. Sadly, this seems to be a long way away.
I have two teenagers that I adore, neither were planned, in fact both resulted from failed contraception. I was luckily in a position that my husband and I could afford them (I've been horrified to read that the cost of having a baby in the US would actually decide a woman to have an abortion instead).
One thing I have to say is, I have NEVER heard a woman say she should have not given birth to her baby in the first place.

To the person mentioned by the OP, I wish you the best with your difficult decision.

 

[Mom2Em]

My 2 cents...

I so respect the women that are strong enough to make the decision to give their children a better future than they could possibly give... I thank God everyday that one was strong enough to grant me my best friend... she was adopted as a newborn and I can't imagine life without her...

 

[ca859093]

Originally posted by SandraM
That said, I think abortion will be a popular option until it becomes acceptable to be pregnant whether married or not. Sadly, this seems to be a long way away.

That really says alot, and is so true. There is just to much put on women when they do become pregnant.

 

[ginna74]

A sad situation for sure, but a personal choice that no one else can - or should - attempt to make for her..

ITA and this comming from a birth mom myself..

 

[emmagata]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The NRA: The most valuable asset American
gun manufacturers could hope to have.
Because, contrary to popular belief, it isn't
an organization that defends freedom...
It's an organization that gets as many guns sold as possible.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WTH????

How the heck did this get thrown into a discussion about abortion and adoption????


(deliberate attempt to drift OT)

That has got to be the most illogical description of the NRA I've ever heard.

To get the most guns sold as possible. Ha!

What, do they sell them door to door or hang out next to the Girl Scouts outside Walmart?

What a load of horse poopy.

 

[emmagata]

I'm adopted and I can tell you that (I guess I wouldn't know otherwise) I"m glad my birth mother put me up for adoption. I don't know (nor have I wondered) why she did. But I ended up with two loving parents, two brothers and a sister as a result of her decision.

To answer the OP, my feelings that if you get pregnant and the life of the baby or mother is not threatened in anyway (or in cases of rape or incest) abortion is not the answer. Keeping the baby or adoption is. So, I guess my stance I don't support a womans right to choose except for very limited circumstances.

 

[Lachesis00]

This is how I feel. No one should be "pressured". My mom and my sister do not feel this way...
I will say when it came time for me to choose, I choose to keep him... it was my choice. he is 13 now.

With that said my husband is adopted as are 2 of his 4 siblings.

Originally posted by Crankyshank
That's the wonderful thing about having a choice!!

You need to do what is right for you. If you find yourself with an unwanted pregnancy - keep the baby, put it up for adoption, or have an abortion -it's your decision, not mine.
I support your right to choose and decide what you feel is the best course of action

 

[aesalsa]

Originally posted by AZKathy
The woman who go through the pregnancy and places the baby with a couple is the most giving unselfish individual there is. I don't understand the mindset that "I would rather kill this 'thing' inside me rather than placing it with a loving family". I never will.........jeez.

I completely agree .

Originally posted by Mom2Em

My 2 cents...

I so respect the women that are strong enough to make the decision to give their children a better future than they could possibly give... I thank God everyday that one was strong enough to grant me my best friend... she was adopted as a newborn and I can't imagine life without her...

I could have written this myself. . . about my wonderful husband!

To the OP, I will keep your friend in my prayers no matter what she chooses.

No matter how small, a person's a person.

 

[poohandwendy]

I, personally, am pro life.

But, I would like to add that I think it is really important for anyone who knows someone who is facing an unexpected pregnancy to be supportive, discuss all of the options....and then step back and allow that person to make their own choice, without judgement, even if it is not what you think they should do. Even if you think it is a big mistake.

No matter what your personal opinion is, that person has to decide for themselves and they have to live with the results of their choice. There is nothing more scary than facing this situation without emotional support, even when you are sure of your decision.

I am just mentioning this because I have dealt with many, many (countless) women who have had received nothing but 'advice' when they really, really, really needed someone to listen without judgement.

Just my 2 cents

 

[EltonJohn]

Why would a person go against their beliefs?

I would strongly encourage that she choose adoption. Thousands of couples in the US alone are eager to adopt a baby why not give them the greatest gift that a person can offer them?

 

[trishy]

100% pro-choice; however, I would adopt that baby. A teacher at my dd's school had an unfortunate situation where they cannot have children - they've been trying fertility treatments for 2 yrs. Almost a month ago now, she received the fantastic news - they are the proud parents of an adopted baby girl. I really hope she chooses to give this baby life and a wonderful couple a chance at completing their family. However, it is and should be her choice. I imagine it's tough for her right now, but I hope she thinks about all of her options prior to her decision.

 

[Disney-Kim]

I think that for a young woman, abortion may not seem as real as giving birth and giving up a baby. the pregnant mother will still have dr bills, health issues, etc. thru a pregnancy and that may be overwhelming too.
There is also a stigma to being a young unwed mother.

I am wholeheartedly pro-choice and pro-adoption.

 

[MHopkins2]

Originally posted by Son of the Morning
For the record, you'd be hard pressed to find a more militantly pro-choice male around than me.

One of your many fine qualities.


ETA that for the record, dog forbid I should ever find myself pregnant, I would drive to the clinic so fast, my head would spin. The very idea of pregnancy skeeves me out like no other, and I would end it as soon as possible. If that makes me selfish, so be it.

 

[kylara]

I firmly believe in a woman's right to choose. However, in response to the OP's post, I think you really need to be there for your friend and be supportive. Listen to what she has to say about her options. If she is pro-life and is thinking of abortion, she obviously has some real concerns or fears since she is going against her own values. Let her know that she needn't rush into a decision and possibly help her with researching information.

I can't wonder if she has the old concept of adoption and thinks once she hands her child over to adoptive parents she will never hear about or see that child again. As others have stated, adoptions are much more open these days.

I would also honestly question her about the possible psychological fall out she will have going against her beliefs. Many feel that abortion is an easy option...for some it is and for some it isn't. I have one friend who has never doubted her decision to abort (either time she did) and have another who doubts it often even though it was years ago.

At this point, being honest and supportive is the most important thing...but sometimes being supportive means asking some tough questions so that the options are thoroughly explored and understood.

 

[Tiffany]

I believe that every situation is different and going through a full term and giving birth is not an easy thing to do without support.

I believe in a woman's right to choose and none of us know all of the things that a woman considers when making this decison. For each of us the things to consider would be different.

If your friend has stong beliefs then I do not understand her conflict unless she was "raised to have certain beliefs" but does not deep down inside of herself believe those things.

Whatever decison your friend makes all you can do as a true friend is be supportive and there for her.

 

[PatriciaH]

I hope for the best for your friend. What a hard decision. I am pro-choice but I could never get an abortion myself.

Originally posted by SandraM
One thing I have to say is, I have NEVER heard a woman say she should have not given birth to her baby in the first place.

I have had several parents tell me they that if they could do it over they would never have had children...

 

[damo]

I think your friend should meet with some infertile couples who are desperately seeking a baby and then make the decision as to what would be best for the baby, not best for herself.

 

[MHopkins2]

Originally posted by PatriciaH
I have had several parents tell me they that if they could do it over they would never have had children...

Ditto - and not in a joking way, either.

 

[mep319]

I find this position rather odd (not yours, just the premise you cite). Someone can't give up their child, but they can kill it? How does that make sense? I think the reality is that people see a fetus as a child, or they see it as a clump of cells. If you see it as a child, you won't abort; if you see it as a clump of cells, you might abort.

I agree I think a lot depends on how you view that "clump of cells." A child? Or a clump of cells?

Of course the OP does not mention how old her friend is or what her current situation is. To me that makes a difference on what to do. If she is brave enough to carry a child to term and give it up for adoption god bless. If she chooses to have an abortion b/c of how she feels emotionally...I support that decision too. It is her decision to make! I'm glad I don't have to make it!