Abortion vs Adoption

[Princess_Aurora]

I don't MEAN to turn this into a debate, but I know it probably will because it is such a sensitive subject.

I have a friend who has just found out she is pregnant. She's not stable in her life at all and her and her fiance are barely stable enough to support themselves...in fact, I wouldn't call them stable at all. One of them always seems to be out of work.

So she's crying about how she never believed in abortion and how she thought it was wrong but that she doesn't see any other way now. They can't afford to have a baby at all. She would love to be a mother one day she says but she says there is no way at all they can do it now. I ask her why not consider adoption at least. With the way she feels about abortion, at least with adoption she won't have to go against her beliefs and she will be making some couple out there very happy. She said she couldn't imagine carring a child and then giving him or her up to let someone else raise.

I think I could live a lot better knowing that I gave my child to a good couple for him or her to have a good life than going through with an abortion and thinking of what might have been. My sister had an abortion over ten years ago and every now and then you'll hear her mention something about if she would have had the baby how old he/she would be. You can tell it still makes her sad to this day.

I got pregnant at the age of 16 so I know what it's like to be in that situation where you just don't know what to do. You're very emotional and things just don't make sense. I chose to have my baby though and I chose to keep her. She's a very precious, happy six year old now. She put me on the right track in life. I know my situation is rare because I also had a lot of support from my parents and I know that some young girls don't have that.

I know people have their reasons and all...I was just wondering why abortion seems to be more popular? Especially with all the couples that are out there that try so hard to have a baby of their own and can't...I can only imagine how heartbroken they feel knowing how many women get abortions that could have put the baby up for adoption.

Anyway, I was just wondering where others stood on this topic.

 

[snoopy]

I completely support a woman's right to choose.

 

[Microcell]

Adoption is a wonderful and selfless act on the birthmother's part, so it would be good if she can think of that. I have to say that if they are getting married they can look at ways of affording kids. The first year or two they really don't cost much. She may not have thought things would go this way but maybe she needs a third party perspective on what to do. She could surprise herself and figure out a way. People have kids with very little money- let me tell you!

 

[luvdisney81]

I am very open minded first of all. I will say I do not believe abortion should be used as a birth control because it is not fair to the child, they have done nothing wrong. Your friend should look into Open or Semi-Open adoption if she has a problem just handing her child over. That is more like a closed adoption where once the papers are signed thats it. Open adoption, depending on the agreement, allows the birth mother letters and pictures throughout the year. Many couples even allow a visit or two. Depending on the relationship in time she may be allowed to have unsupervised visits but she CAN be a part of the childs life. A semi-open is more just a letter and picture per year, maybe a card or so. I'm not an expert but I've had a friend in this situation. I've also known a couple friends to have abortions and it is like what you said, they think about it for the rest of their lives. Even when they have other children they still think back and feel some remorse. If she goes to a center now then many couples will pay for all her medical expenses and she can spend the next 9 months getting to know them and trust them.

I hope she makes the best decision for her. Your in my prayers.

 

[tiggersmom2]

I was pregnant when I was 17, everyone wanted me to get an abortion but I could not. Shane, my 10 year old is my world, along with my 20 month old. Now don't get me wrong, if someone wants an abortion that is their choice it just wasn't the right choice for me. So I am definitely Pro-Choice but personally I would never get one - does that make sense?

 

[cynsaun]

I support a woman's right to choose, but I also believe in adoption. Especially now. We have been trying to have a baby for over 4 years, and at this point we are looking at adoption.

Good luck to your friend!

P.S. I'll adopt the baby!

 

[Crankyshank]

That's the wonderful thing about having a choice!!

You need to do what is right for you. If you find yourself with an unwanted pregnancy - keep the baby, put it up for adoption, or have an abortion -it's your decision, not mine.
I support your right to choose and decide what you feel is the best course of action

 

[Paradise]

I believe in CHOICE and the RightWingers should let a woman make her choices.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The NRA: The most valuable asset American
gun manufacturers could hope to have.
Because, contrary to popular belief, it isn't
an organization that defends freedom...
It's an organization that gets as many guns sold as possible.

 

[pumba]

difficult.....thing about some of the young mothers that decide at first to have the child and give it to another couple......say that this is what they want to do but end up keeping it cause of the emotional issues that are very present at the time of birth......touch decision whichever way they go

 

[Princess_Aurora]

See, now I feel like I just totally came off all anti-abortion. I TOTALLY believe in a woman's right to chose. I was just wondering why abortion is the choice most women automatically go to when they have an unwanted pregnancy.

 

[flaps]

She said she couldn't imagine carring a child and then giving him or her up to let someone else raise.

I couldn't imagine my wife and I divorced, so I killed her.

That was apparently the thinking of my spouse's coworker's son-in-law.

I don't see a whole lot of difference, frankly.

 

[janette]

I think abortion is easier, most of the time no one needs to know. Caring a child and giving it up would bring more questions. If a person doesn't believe in life at conception they would probably be okay with an early term abortion. Many probably happen before the mom even feels pregnant.

Carrying a child for 9mths and giving it up would be very hard, I think this is what makes me admire the ones who are willing to do it even more.

 

[pumba]

I think some of the reasons ...is emotions.......can you carry a baby 9 months and then give it away when a womans hormones are at the top of the scale.......either a young woman would keep the child or opt for an abortion......and I am an older woman here speaking of the rights of all.......

 

[EsmeraldaX]

My brother and I were preemies born at 7 months along in our mothers pregnancy. For this reason I am against last trimester abortions. I do not think a viable fetus should be killed when it could (and many do) survive outside the womb at that stage. It infuriates me.

I also know people who are waiting for babies to become available for adoption. These people desperately want a baby, and can't have one of their own.

To me it is a no brainer. I would choose adoption.

I can also not afford a baby. I wish I could but I'm 27 and will not be financially secure for many years, and even then I won't be making much or married (my choice). I know I would not be a good mothers. So I am glad I have the right to choose. I CHOOSE birth control.

Were my bc to somehow fail me, I'd carry my baby to full term and give him/her up to a loving family for adoption.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by Paradise
I believe in CHOICE and the RightWingers should let a woman make her choices.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The NRA: The most valuable asset American
gun manufacturers could hope to have.
Because, contrary to popular belief, it isn't
an organization that defends freedom...
It's an organization that gets as many guns sold as possible.

I'm not a rightwinger.

But I was born at 7 months into my moms pregnancy. Should she have had the right to kill me when I was a 7 mo fetus, even though, I was born at that stage and did just fine?

I don't think so.

If women have the abortion early one, before the baby could survive outside the womb, fine.

I could not do it personally, but I support a womans right to choose before the fetus becomes viable.

I think young women choose abortion because it's easier to hide.

 

[Crankyshank]

I think a lot of people choose abortion over adoption because they don't think they'd be able to give up their child once they give birth to it.
I don't think I would be able to, especially now being married and almost 30. I wouldn't want my child to have a lousy quality of life because I am not at a stage where I would be able to give my child a good life or be a decent mother.
note: I'm not saying that I would have an abortion. just what would most likely run through my head if I found out I were pregnant. That's why I faithfully use birth control, but accidents happen

Abortion is by no means an easy decision, but I think the fact that a lot of people feel that the fetus isn't a baby yet helps sway them over adoption.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by Crankyshank
I think a lot of people choose abortion over adoption because they don't think they'd be able to give up their child once they give birth to it.
I don't think I would be able to, especially now being married and almost 30. I wouldn't want my child to have a lousy quality of life because I am not at a stage where I would be able to give my child a good life or be a decent mother.
note: I'm not saying that I would have an abortion. just what would most likely run through my head if I found out I were pregnant. That's why I faithfully use birth control, but accidents happen

Abortion is by no means an easy decision, but I think the fact that a lot of people feel that the fetus isn't a baby yet helps sway them over adoption.

I think it's also a lot more common that women do it in the first few months. That helps ease the emotional pain as well, knowing that you are terminating a pregnancy where the child would not be able to survive outside the womb at that stage.

 

[preshi]

As some who chose adoption over abortion, I can't imagine doing it any other way. I am all for a womans right to choose BUT me personally, esp. after being through the heartbreak of miscarriages and giving a child up for adoption, I'd much rather go through the emotional pain of giving a living child to a loving family than to terminate one.

 

[Pop Daddy]

not a women, but I think it would be hard for a women to know she oked the abortion of her own baby , for years after she had done it

 

[newholiday]

I thank God I have never had to make that decision
but
Im also sorry I was never able to get pregnant more than once in my lifetime