A question for the men out there... ***UPDATE POST #34!!!***

[momof2inPA]

If he gave you his address, then drop by with some homemade brownies or cookies for the kids and him. If he's on your mind that much, then do something about it. Life's too short to worry about looking desperate. Just go for it.

Then you won't appear desperate, you'll seem like a stalker. If he liked you, he would have called. Move on to some other guy.

 

[MinnieM21]

If he wants to call, he'll call. Even if I'm incredibly busy, I can take 1 minute out of my day to call someone.

 

[DMickey28]

First I wouldn't take it personally at all. I had to be a little more aggressive with my husband... but now he's my husband. He was just shy and didn't know where I stood, though to me it was plain as day!!

It sounds like his divorce might have been fairly recent as he is just moving up to the 2 bedroom to accomadate the kids. He could still be dealing with all of that, getting the apartment ready etc.

Do you know what apartment he is actually in? Have you seen his kids before, like when you would chat with him? Or have they never seen you before, even as your neighbor? Depending on how well I knew him, I would bake him something, cookies brownies or get a book, plant, something for the apartment and bring it over when he is home, either with the kids on the weekend or without them, depending on how comfortable you would think it would be for them to see you.

Either that or I would call again, maybe at the beginning of the long weekend, just to say Hi see how things are going. It is realistic to think someone would miss the message, have it erased or anything.

Good Luck...

 

[FreshTressa]

Do you really want to be with a guy that is 'hard to get a hold of' and doesn't call all the time and pursue you?

I love being pursued and would only date a guy that repeatedly and obviously showed me lots of attention...even when he was busy.

I would not date a guy that didn't call regularly, even if he was interested or how much I liked him otherwise.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

First I wouldn't take it personally at all. I had to be a little more aggressive with my husband... but now he's my husband. He was just shy and didn't know where I stood, though to me it was plain as day!!

It sounds like his divorce might have been fairly recent as he is just moving up to the 2 bedroom to accomadate the kids. He could still be dealing with all of that, getting the apartment ready etc.

Do you know what apartment he is actually in? Have you seen his kids before, like when you would chat with him? Or have they never seen you before, even as your neighbor? Depending on how well I knew him, I would bake him something, cookies brownies or get a book, plant, something for the apartment and bring it over when he is home, either with the kids on the weekend or without them, depending on how comfortable you would think it would be for them to see you.

Either that or I would call again, maybe at the beginning of the long weekend, just to say Hi see how things are going. It is realistic to think someone would miss the message, have it erased or anything.

Good Luck...

Okay, well...he said he's been divorced for 2 years, but he only moved out of the house a year ago. He said they attempted to live together for the kids' sake, but he needed his life back. And then he said, "But it scares me to have to find someone else and start my life all over again at age 35."

I do know which apartment...when we talked, he blurted out, "Oh, I'm moving to number 58; I got my 2-bedroom apartment. You know what...I should grab your number." I gave it to him, then he said, "Let me give you mine." And I've seen the kids a few times, said hello to them. There were times when I'd leave in the morning, they'd come and stand at the door, and I'd wave to them.

One time, I came home at the same time that the mother dropped them off, and I heard one of the girls say, "Mommy, that's the lady that Daddy..." and then I couldn't understand what she said. But the mother seemed to get very embarrassed; when she said hello to me, she was blushing.

I don't know...my brain says forget it, my heart and intuition say to give him some more time.

 

[Hercules10]

Oh lawd...I thought ya meant he moved out of town or something.

OK, OK...He's got the kids. And ya'll are fairly close to each other. Much clearer now.

Screw social etiquette and just go talk to the man. I mean for gosh sakes it's not like you're running up to him buck nekkid with "DO ME" in red ink on your forehead.

You're just being friendly and from the sounds of it that's just what he needs now. No harm in that.

 

[Mariposa]

I'm with Hercules, just go talk to him. You were friends before, be friendly now. If you're that worried about his reaction then make an excuse- you need to borrow something, you broke something he may know how to fix- whatever. I mean, if he didn't call back he may think it's too late to do so now. Although, be prepared for the "just friends" thing, because it may very well happen- every guy I dated before DFiance was on my phone practically before I made it home from wherever I gave him my number.

(Seriously, though, there are exceptions, and if you like him he's at least worth having as a friend.)

 

[poohandwendy]

Okay, well...he said he's been divorced for 2 years, but he only moved out of the house a year ago. He said they attempted to live together for the kids' sake, but he needed his life back. And then he said, "But it scares me to have to find someone else and start my life all over again at age 35."

I do know which apartment...when we talked, he blurted out, "Oh, I'm moving to number 58; I got my 2-bedroom apartment. You know what...I should grab your number." I gave it to him, then he said, "Let me give you mine." And I've seen the kids a few times, said hello to them. There were times when I'd leave in the morning, they'd come and stand at the door, and I'd wave to them.

One time, I came home at the same time that the mother dropped them off, and I heard one of the girls say, "Mommy, that's the lady that Daddy..." and then I couldn't understand what she said. But the mother seemed to get very embarrassed; when she said hello to me, she was blushing.

I don't know...my brain says forget it, my heart and intuition say to give him some more time.

Try not to over analyze the situation. It can make you crazy and it really won't give you any answers, LOL. Do what other people have suggested and just drop in to give him a housewarming gift or something. If he seems warm to your visit, great...then leave the next move up to him. If he seems uncomfortable, then move on.

Good luck with it!

 

[ilovepcot]

I'd run the other way. With children that stay a few nights a week, ex-wife close by and in the picture, not owning a home at age 35...not for me. I'd be looking for someone who didn't have "entanglements" and in a better financial position.

 

[Cantw8]

you know, way too many great opportunities are lost because of hesitation CALL HIM...there may be a very good reason why he hasn't called. Don't assume this and that, find out from the horse's mouth

 

[dental wiz]

I would wait a day or so, and then make the call. good luck!

 

[horseshowmom]

Okay, here's what I think.

Normally , I would tell you that if a guy wants to talk to you, he'll find a way. I'm a firm believer that guys prefer a girl that they have to win over (over the years I've heard that from lots of male friends/cousins/my husband/etc.).

However, in this case I'm making an exception to my rule. You know the guy works all the time and has his kids a lot (which I think speaks well for him - the kids part). I'd make him a casserole (you can stick it in the freezer until you know he's home) and carry it over to him to help him settle into his new apt.

Keep in mind that this guy has a lot on his plate, and if nothing comes of it, it probably has nothing to do with you.

Good luck!

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

I mean for gosh sakes it's not like you're running up to him buck nekkid with "DO ME" in red ink on your forehead.

Although...that one's guaranteed to work!!

 

[apirateslifeforme]

I really want to thank EVERYONE for their thoughts on this. Honestly, I truly appreciate it!

And now, for the good news. I came home today...there was a message on my machine! He called me at 10:15 this morning! Of course, now I need to call him back...I hope this doesn't turn into phone tag.

Thank you, everyone, for your input! This is probably so stupid, but I'm all giddy and excited and I feel like a teenager again!

 

[azgal81]

Thanks for the update! I'm glad he called so you can stop stressing over it!