A personal question about DH......

[Disney Doll]

My DH usually calls me Hon. If he's mad, or distracted and needs me, he'll bellow "Patty" which drives me crazy.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

OH MY!!! This is my son too! Drives me crazy. I swear he says, "Hey, mom...before every single sentence. That is generall followed by "y'know what?" EVery other sentence at least. Very annoying!

LOL

My son also waits for me to answer before he tells me whatever he is going to tell me. So it's, "Mom"..........."yes, Ben"........then whatever long, convoluted story he has that particular time. And then a minute later.... I know, I sound mean, but that kid tells me everything. To the point that I'll wonder why in the world he's telling his mother that. And then my 12yo rarely tells me anything.

 

[nativetxn]

Wilgus calls me "Goofus" most often. He always has. When he is another room and wants me to wait on him or something, he will holler "Katholyn".

Almost 34 years of marriage and it still works

Katholyn

 

[Antonia]

Ny DH calls me "CB" - those are my initials. He has called me this for years . We have been married 23 years.

 

[icebrat001]

My SO rarely says my name, it's always, Hun, honey, babe, baby...

 

[YangYang]

I'm so glad that you posted this. I have a guy that I have recently gotten quite close to (in a completely non romantic way). Anyway, when we first met, he called me Miss ____. Then as we spent more time together, he just quit calling me by name. I mentioned several times that he could call me by my first name, after all I did have one! I got totally excited the other day because he called me by my name! And even more excited when he said "Bye girl" on the phone one night. I honestly think that he does it to keep a distance between the two of us. Now, I see that it is not a rare occurrence so that makes me feel better.

 

[WIcruizer]

We rarely call each other by name, and I admit it does sound weird when we DO say it. Not only that...we almost never say the words "I Love You" <gasp> Every relationship is different. We never have been a real "mushy, lovey-dovey" type couple. We never hold hands, cuddle, etc. But that doesn't mean we don't love and care about each other. It's just that everyone shows their love in a different way.

To the OP, your husband may be like this. He may love you deeply, but it just isn't his personality to exhibit his love the way you would like. The name thing seems like a silly thing to make a stand on, but none of know your relationship. My contribution to amateur psychyology is to bring it up in a very non-threatening way, or he will get defensive. I would really like it if you would.... It makes me feel good when you.... Sprinkle it in enough, and I bet you see gradual change.

 

[illini]

I dated a guy one time that I really liked, I swear I never once heard him say my name. I lived alone so if he called me at home he just started talking and if he called me at work and I answered he would say, "is the mgr there?" and then laugh. I swear I wondered if he even knew my name. I guess he did because if someone else answered the phone at work they would come get me! MEN ARE WEIRD!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

If marriage were based on how often we said our names to each other--we'd be in serious trouble.

We use pet names--and that random talking thing.

And I'm not too particularly fond of my name--so I don't miss him saying it at all.


Now that I think of it--if we are in another room and need teh person right away--we will use first names.

 

[PixieDust32]

Well, my DH says my name sometimes, most of the times he says Honey, or any other silly name !

 

[Alaska Catdog]

It breaks my heart that you feel like a Zero in your relationship. I think the name thing is one thing that you can identify that makes you feel this way but it probably is not the only thing there. Do you have anyone to talk to about identifying the real source of the problem? If not, some employers have EAP (employee assistant programs) that offer such services. I feel for you and fear that this is the niggling type of problem that won't just go away. Please see a counselor if you can, just to figure out how serious this may be. Nobody should be made to feel like a zero. That's just not right.

 

[Dina]

My husband never calls me by my name either. I just realized that. He only uses my name when talking about me. He calls me doll. He started calling me that when I was in college, because I was so tired everytime I laid down on the couch when we were watching TV, I would fall asleep. He said as soon as I laid down my eyes closed like one of those old baby dolls that the eyes used to close if you would lay them down. Then when he realized I hated "doll" he started to do it alot more to tease me, and now 13 years later, that's what he calls me. Never by my name. I wouldn't worry about it.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

But she's saying that her DH doesn't call her anything . That's very different than not using her given name, but calling her love, doll, hon, sweetie, etc. No terms of endearment at all. I just don't understand how a person could not call their spouse something if they are in another room and, in this case, the wife is with the kids somewhere else. To just start talking without calling out a name or endearment seems so strange.

My DH hasn't called me anything since I first read this post. But we've either been in the same room together or he's been in his office and we've IMed each other. So no real time to use it yet.

 

[TnKrBeLlA012]

My husband does not say my name either. He will say to the kids go ask your mother or tell your mom to come here. If someone comes over he will yell,"someone is here". I don't really let it bother me. When I hear him say my name it sounds strange. We have been married twenty years. Maybe about twenty times he has addressed me by my name. Maybe it is some kind of guy thing???

 

[boomhauer]

My DH only says my name when he is unhappy with me so I dread hearing my name come from his lips!

Same with me and my wife. I usually just say "honey" or "babe".

 

[chrissyk]

My DH and I call each other "honey"! I cringe when he says my name, because he insists on using the long version instead of my nickname and for some reason it makes me cringe when anyone calls me that

 

[christinadei]

My husband never says my name- he usually says honey, in fact it is weird the few times that I have heard him say it.

Same here. It sounds weird if he actually calls me Christina. He says my name to other people when he's talking about me, but usually only calls me honey.

 

[mickeyboat]

DH rarely uses my name, either. It is usually "honey." But it does sound like there are other things going on. I hope you can get to the root of your problems soon.

Denae

 

[Buckalew11]

DH rarely says my name too. And yes, I have noticed it.

I think there are other issues that are making you feel like a zero in your marriage. I hope you all can get some help to make your marriage better. It sounds like he is a good father so that is a positive in my book. Good luck.

 

[minkydog]

My DH & I have a very lovey-dovey relationship(24yrs and counting!) but he rarely calls me by name unless one of the children is hurt or there is vomit in the hall I call him sweetie most often. He does refer to me as his "pretty girl" sometimes