A little MIL/Disney advice please.

[Rylee]

Thank you guys for the great suggestions. I just checked and for the two of them to join us at Epcot one day would be $127 which I think we can handle. I think I may turn this into a surprise for them too. I'm going to buy the tickets and mail them with a card that says they have to keep it a secret. (I'll come up with some cheesy rhyme. ) Luckily, they are FL residents so their tickets are heavily discounted. Thanks again everyone! You just helped me get a huge amount of stress off of my shoulders!

First -
Are you able to purchase the tickets at a discounted price since you are not the FL resident?

Secondly -
If you were worried about her telling the children about the surprise, why would she react any differently simply by mailing her tickets to join you for a day?

Could you wait until you are in FL, to call them, and act like you wanted to surprise them, and offer to meet them at the gates and pay for the tickets, at that time?

 

[Rylee]

And what's with your SN? Do you own a Doodle?

I'm asking because we have a Labradoodle. He'll be 2 on April Fool's Day... that should have been my first clue... he's the size of a small horse and the goofiest, most foolish, dramadog, I've ever known.

 

[doodlesmommy]

That is really too bad. My DH is actually estranged from his Mom and I think she is not as hurt by it as I would be if my relationship was stressful with my kids. I am sorry if I hurt you, I did not know.



Perfect solution. I could live with this and I am a very needy MIL

First let me say, you did not hurt my feelings. You (as a needy MIL) was the exact person that I would hope could help me see both sides to this situation. Secondly, this is exactly why I'm doing it this way. I can't imagine being estranged from any member of my family as we are so tight. My DH is the only child and his parents are the only people left in his family so we are their primary focus. She is terribly snobby and jealous of my closeness with my family. The only thing she doesn't understand is that the more she does this the further away she pushes us. She can do her best to drive me away but at the end of the day my children need their grandparents just as much as she needs them. It's sad that my amazing FIL has to suffer because of her selfishness. Thanks for listening to all of my drama. I usually leave that up to reality tv but wanted to be smart about this one so I needed to reach out to others (not in my family or friends) who think like I do. You never get different results if you keep doing the same things. KWIM?

 

[doodlesmommy]

First -
Are you able to purchase the tickets at a discounted price since you are not the FL resident?

Secondly -
If you were worried about her telling the children about the surprise, why would she react any differently simply by mailing her tickets to join you for a day?

Could you wait until you are in FL, to call them, and act like you wanted to surprise them, and offer to meet them at the gates and pay for the tickets, at that time?

Yes, I was able to get their discount. They just need to p/u the tickets at the window and show their id. As far as your second question, the reason I did this is simple psychology based on my 18 years knowing this woman. She is extremely selfish and when something is done with the focus on her you always get a positive response. (Hence the surprise built in for them.) They wanted to take the kids to Disney last year and we put our foot down because we wanted to experience their first trip with them, and no one else. She knew this but thought she'd get away with it until we caught her mid-plan. UUUGGH! She took our DS to Nickelodeon & Sea World instead. They are extremly busy with tennis, dance, etc. so if I don't give them the information ahead of time there is no way they would drive up to meet us. She is a pure pleasure to be around when my FIL is around so I'm sure we'll have a great time. My DH calls him her talk glass of shut up. LOL!! I'm going to mail the certificate as an Easter gift. I'll certainly do a trip report when we get back so you guys can find out how that day at Epcot turns out. You guys have been so helpfull!

 

[doodlesmommy]

And what's with your SN? Do you own a Doodle?

I'm asking because we have a Labradoodle. He'll be 2 on April Fool's Day... that should have been my first clue... he's the size of a small horse and the goofiest, most foolish, dramadog, I've ever known.

Oh yeah and doodlesmommy stands for the nickname I have for my two kids. I call them my doodlebugs. I absolutely love Labradoodles though. They have the sweetest looking faces; so adorable! We have a huge black lab but I call her my roo, not doodle. She can jump as high as my face level (and I'm 5'4); I swear she must be part kangaroo. I call her MaggieRoo.

 

[Nancyg56]

First let me say, you did not hurt my feelings. You (as a needy MIL) was the exact person that I would hope could help me see both sides to this situation. Secondly, this is exactly why I'm doing it this way. I can't imagine being estranged from any member of my family as we are so tight. My DH is the only child and his parents are the only people left in his family so we are their primary focus. She is terribly snobby and jealous of my closeness with my family. The only thing she doesn't understand is that the more she does this the further away she pushes us. She can do her best to drive me away but at the end of the day my children need their grandparents just as much as she needs them. It's sad that my amazing FIL has to suffer because of her selfishness. Thanks for listening to all of my drama. I usually leave that up to reality tv but wanted to be smart about this one so I needed to reach out to others (not in my family or friends) who think like I do. You never get different results if you keep doing the same things. KWIM?

Well I admire you. It is very hard to put your husband and your children over your own feelings and I commend you for that. Good luck and enjoy your vacation!

 

[jessica52877]

I think your idea is great. I was going to suggest inviting them for a day so they wouldn't feel left out, but your idea and you purchasing the tickets is even better! So thoughtful.

I also think it is great that you keep mother in law and father in law in the mix, like you said it is great for the kids. My mom can drive me up a wall, but she loves her grandson and I love that he has someone like that. DH's side of the family is hardly involved in our lives.

Hope all goes well, sure it will!

 

[dallasdisneymommy]

Doodlesmommy, I feel your pain! After 2 really miserable trips to WDW with my husband's family (parents, SIL and family), we are now planning our annual trip without his parents. My MIL just sucked all the joy out of everything by interfering, undermining, and sulking her way through two trips, and it just had to stop.

Of course now that we're planning the new trip, I feel guilty that they are not involved (SIL and family are still coming along), but know that it has to be this way. Should it be this way? No. And God knows I've tried. But sometimes there's only so much you can do before you just have to wash your hands of it.

I know how hard it must be for you to continually extend the olive branch without any reciprocation or acknowledgement. I'm with you sister!