A little advice to all the Yankees looking to move down south!

[oxfordcircus]

I've also run into an owner of a local lawnmower repair shop who asked me my last name before he'd fix our mower--you see, he won't do business with anyone named Sherman.

 

[bumbershoot]

I grew up in CA, then moved to WA for college (such a cliche, moving from CA to WA). Then I went to SC for chiropractic school (the school itself accidentally slapped Southerners in the face, b/c the northerners who fell in love with SC and moved to open the school named it after a legendary chiro, who, unfortunately, was named SHERMAN), and tried my best to fit in (as best as a Birkenstock wearing, no-makeup-wearing, no-hairstyle-doing, woman COULD fit in in the early 90s). Most of the students at that school were (and probably are still) from NJ, NY, and PA. The PA people, especially from the Pittsburgh area, fit in easily. Getting closer to NJ it got a bit harder. And I knew VERY few from NY and NJ who ended up fitting in seamlessly, even the ones who fell in love and married Southerners. Not even my dear, dear friend (who had a Disneymoon!).

The biggest was at supermarkets. My northern friends were enraged EVERY time they shopped, because the lines went so slow b/c the cashier would actually talk to you.

The accent was hard for both to figure out, but, in general from MY experience with my friends, those from SC tried to be polite while figuring out what was being said, while my friends would get louder and ruder, and tended to make judgements about the person not understanding them.

I'm a born mimic, and my family is made up of all states (dad born in Denver and each of his sibs has their own accent, mom from upstate NY with no accent until she said "Albany"), so I'm fairly good at unraveling accents. But it never fails to impress me just HOW many ways there are to say "oil".

I loved having doors opened for me, and I, in turn, LOVED plastering a HUGE smile on my face and holding doors open for men, and insisting they go through. With the HUGE smile I'd get a smile back, and it would usually go well...I just liked returning the favor (and wouldn't think to wait for someone else to get to the door, and didn't want to shut a door in someone's face). I love having a door held, and I like to return the favor for other people, even back in WA! I always thank a person for holding the door.

I did find that putting just the *slightest*, tiniest itty bitty extra drawn out vowel in "thank you" got me a bigger smile, even if it was b/c they thought I sounded silly. I coudln't help it though (see "born mimic" up above).

That's a pretty broad statement to make, especially since, when I am in the south, many a folks with a lovely southern drawl tell me "what a pretty face you have but it's too bad you are so heavy bless your heart".

Ah'm not thinkin' that callin' someone fat displays any really good manners, even with a drawl and a "bless your heart" at the end.

"Bless your heart" was the first thing I had to figure out in terms of speech. I thought it was nice at first. And then, I figured out that it just wasn't.

8. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All Y'all" is plural. "All Y'all's" is plural possessive. (Very important to know)

11. People walk and talk slower here. Get over it.

21. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees, rocks, and "where the ol' schoolhouse used to be," you're better off trying to find it yourself.

The "y'all" grammar is very important to learn. And very easy to pick up. Easier than my Pittsburg-area co-students' "y'uns" was.

The first behavioural change I had to do was to SLOW DOWN. I went there in summer for a pre-req class at a 2 year, live-in, school. I was sweating buckets, walking how I normally walk. The young women in FULL makeup, dressed to the nines, with hairSTYLES lasted the whole day fresh as daisies. I soon realized that they were walking slow, much slower than I was. I slowed down, and the heat was suddenly easier to deal with.

While looking to rent a house, and was told by the landlord "you take a right after the house that burned down 3 years ago" and understood where they meant, I knew it was either time to leave or time to stay forever.

And even now I give directions that way, as long as I know the other person knows the area.

Where I was raised, doors were opened and 'excuse me' and 'thank you' were the norm. Upon walking into a builing, the doors were almost always held open. Lilyana's comment definitely applies here. Once I moved south, I never had doors held open, but people would walk through every door I held without even uttering a "thank you".

I might be reading it wrong, but I think Lilyana is saying the opposite.

...when I go back to PA for a visit. For example, I'll hold a door open for a man (a stranger - I'm female) and they never fail to just walk right through/by me without even a glance or a thank-you. It makes me giggle. If I tried to hold a door open for a fella down here, almost any man would refuse to go through before me.

When she's up in PA, people will walk through without thanks. But when she's "down here", in the South, men will REFUSE to walk through.



Anyway, since my classmates were from NY and NJ, and my neighbors, landlords, and co-workers were Southern, while I was fairly neutral being from Washington state (I tried not to tell them my mom was from upstate NY, LOL, and tried to not focus on the "grew up in CA" thing), it was very interesting watching the interactions.

And yes, in general and in my experience, I did notice that the Northerners I knew were, well, perhaps most BLATANTLY rude in speech and mannerisms, while the Southerners I knew were generally more congenial, at least, until you figured out the "bless your heart" thing.

So maybe it's a wash.

 

[Muushka]

Gee, I was really nice and friendly in the South, and I was still told that no matter what, I'd always be a "damn Yankee" (bless your heart.)

It weren't so true, it would be funny!

 

[CookieGVB]

So what's the insulting countername to Yankees?

Hicks? Hillbillies? Rednecks? Wonder how a thread with that in the title would fare 'round here.

Bless your heart.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

Remind me to direct my mother to this thread. She wants to move to South Carolina or Georgia when my grandmother is gone. We're native Chicagoans, but have lived in CT for the past 31 years.

 

[Muushka]

Yeah, and that's another thing. I don't like being called a Yankee. I find it degrading.

 

[cardaway]

So what's the insulting countername to Yankees?

Hicks? Hillbillies? Rednecks? Wonder how a thread with that in the title would fare 'round here.

Bless your heart.

Great point.

 

[PghLybrt]

So what's the insulting countername to Yankees?

Hicks? Hillbillies? Rednecks? Wonder how a thread with that in the title would fare 'round here.

Bless your heart.

With that out of the way, I have no idea where in Pa all yinz are visiting but I can assure you that I have the door held for me daily. Not only that but by men who are customers of the place I work. Pittsburgh is voted time and time again as America's most livible city and one of the friendliest.

 

[oxfordcircus]

So what's the insulting countername to Yankees?

Hicks? Hillbillies? Rednecks? Wonder how a thread with that in the title would fare 'round here.

Bless your heart.

I didn't realize the term was insulting.

 

[MareQ]

Yeah, and that's another thing. I don't like being called a Yankee. I find it degrading.

Yup...

 

[MareQ]

I didn't realize the term was insulting.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yankee

In the American South, the term is sometimes used as a derisive term for Northerners, especially those who have migrated to the South. As some Southerners put it, "A Yankee is a Northerner, and a Damnyankee [written and pronounced as one word] is a Northerner who moves (or comes) South". Southerners, by and large, resent being labeled "yankee" when travelling abroad.

 

[oxfordcircus]

Well, if wikipedia says so...

I think I would fail a Southern test if I had to take one.

 

[MareQ]

Well, if wikipedia says so...

I think I would fail a Southern test if I had to take one.

Better get studying then - you might be mistaken for one of us.

 

[gina2000]

I guess I'll just stay up here in the rude neck of the woods.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Here's a conversation with my friend from NY.

Keith: "Where's Don?"

Me: "Do you mean Daaawwwn?" (think 3 syllables)

Keith: That's what I said, "Don!"

 

[eclectics]

This has got to be one of the more ridiculous statements I've ever seen on here.

That particular poster enjoys bashing anything having to do with the Northeast (and it's residents) in whatever thread he posts on. I, and many others here are well used to it...... It must be nice to be perfect.

 

[daisax]

As a Red Sox fan I resent being called a Yankee, but hold no residual Civil War angst over it.

I think one thing that people might be overlooking is that sociologically speaking, people in urban and congested areas cultivate distancing techniques. Because people are living their lives practically on top of each other, to get any sense of privacy at all, silent agreements are made to DECREASE interaction between strangers. You may have to stand in the subway with a total stranger's armpit in your face, but you don't have to interact with every person you pass, because it would be inefficient and overall too stressful. The less physical space there is in terms of living space, the more distant people tend to behave (in Western cultures, anyway). After generations, those behaviors are passed down as social norms.

On the flip side, in traditionally rural areas, the need to connect with other people when you can leads to more of a sense of congeniality with total strangers.

And of course everywhere has its same share of rude people, and the rudeness is expressed in different ways. Bless their hearts.

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

Well doncha just learn something every single day on the DIS?! I never knew "Yankee" was a derisive term. Living here in my little southern enclave all my life, I've always heard and used (ocassionally) the term as a value-neutral word for people from the NorthEast. I always figured because of -for example -the existence of the New York Yankees baseball team that the word was not insulting. In my mind, the term "Yankee" would be analogous to "Southerner".

Oh... another thing I learned on this thread. Someone posted that "y'all" is a singular term (as opposed to the plural "all y'all"). In the vernacular of piedmont NC, the word y'all is both singular and plural.


For the record, as a lifelong southerner it just does not bother me when people move here from other regions or from other countries. I can't recall a time when it aggravates me to hear someone talk about how things were up North, out West, or back in Afghanistan. I just chalk it up to a bit of homesickness. The bottom line is NC is a fabulous place to live, and I totally get why people are flocking here. I say ... and I won't even call people Yankees anymore if they are sensitive about that term.

 

[hentob]

Eh. I don't mind being called a Yank. I am a great fan of the Yankees, so maybe that is why

I take GREAT offense to the stereotype that Northerners "just can't cook"--Which is absolutely ridiculous. Holy cow! That is just sooooo wrong!

I feel like saying--Have you ever eaten Up North?

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

Eh. I don't mind being called a Yank. I am a great fan of the Yankees, so maybe that is why

I take GREAT offense to the stereotype that Northerners "just can't cook"--Which is absolutely ridiculous. Holy cow! That is just sooooo wrong!

I feel like saying--Have you ever eaten Up North?

OMG! I have had some fantastic meals in northern regions! Regional recipes may be different, but its all good IMO