A lady was mean to my 4 year old today..

[smkiya]

Me and DS went shopping today and went to McD's for lunch. We sit down and an old lady sits next to us. We're eating and I notice he gave the lady's handbag a flick with his finger. I told him how its rude to touch people's things. I know he's expecting this old lady to smile at him or something.HE then taps on the bench next to his leg. The lady says to him rather meanly can you stop that it's annoying. Now my DS asks her what her name is. She tells him it's none of your business. Poor DS looked so shocked. I was thinking not so nice things but didn't say anything. After he finished I took him to the pet store where the poor barking puppies took his mind off the rudeness.

I will preface this with the fact that I have a 5 year old and a 5 month old. This is just my opinion, but...

Maybe she had no problem sitting next to the 4 year old. But if my daughter "flicked" someone's purse, I would have said what you said, AND I would have made her apologize. I think many people in the older generation are disgusted with the lack of please, thank you, and sorry lately. She was probably not annoyed with him, but more that she was annoyed with you for not teaching proper manners.

 

[Missy1961]

I have yet to have a day in my life where I was unwilling to interact with any child, even a stranger. Maybe I just have more patience with little kids, and 4 is still little. If a kids smiles at me I smile back. If one asks me a question I answer it. I don't have kids yet I am not annoyed by them. As long as the parent is doing what they can and not letting them run amuck I have no problems with them. Tapping on a chair isn't ramming a cart into them. Asking a name isn't shinning a spotlight on them and interrogating them.

I have found life is much more pleasant when you are pleasant yourself. Sometimes you can't control the situations life puts you in but you can always control how you react to them once you are an adult.

I love kids, I really do. But I'm sorry, there are times I don't want to engage in conversations with them. There is a very annoying 4 yr old who goes to my churrch, and talks all thru the service. Mom, grandma & grandpa tell her to shush, but she keeps on going. And she likes to poke the people in front of her. (I know because she's done it to me.) I would choose not to sit near her, but I get to Mass early & they come in late, so I don't have a choice. So when she wants to talk to me during the Sign of Peace, sorry, I'm mean to her. I'm the grumpy old witch in church that made that 4 yr old unhappy.

 

[FireDancer]

I agree. I don't think it is ever polite for a child to ask a random stranger their name. I don't really think it's appropriate for the child to try to strike up a conversation, but I don't think it's that bad. Asking their name is very intrusive and rude, though.

This is a bit OT but I think more people need to strike up conversations with people in public. We are too insular as it is, adults included. If we interacted with those around us more I think the world would be a better place. I always talk to the person in front or behind me in line. I talk to the person next to me at the deli counter when I am waiting my turn. Once I leave the walls of my home I expect to interact with the world. I expect curiosity from children and civility from adults. I don't go out expecting to be in a bubble. There are too many grumpy "leave me alone" people in the world.

Just my opinion, I'm sure others will disagree.

 

[si-am]

This is a bit OT but I think more people need to strike up conversations with people in public. We are too insular as it is, adults included. If we interacted with those around us more I think the world would be a better place. I always talk to the person in front or behind me in line. I talk to the person next to me at the deli counter when I am waiting my turn. Once I leave the walls of my home I expect to interact with the world. I expect curiosity from children and civility from adults. I don't go out expecting to be in a bubble. There are too many grumpy "leave me alone" people in the world.

Just my opinion, I'm sure others will disagree.

I disagree. I hate it when people try to talk to me. Please don't!

 

[Gabes_mommy]

On Sunday I was shopping and I was at the register paying and my almost 3 year old DS was talking to my mom. He was being pretty well behaved by my standards. He must have bumped into a lady standing at the other register because I spotted her giving him a terrible look. Stink eye x5.

Honestly I didn't care at all. I just figured she doesn't like kids.

Op - really don't take it personally. Lots of people don't like kids, or are having a bad day.

 

[Scurvy]

This is a bit OT but I think more people need to strike up conversations with people in public. We are too insular as it is, adults included. If we interacted with those around us more I think the world would be a better place. I always talk to the person in front or behind me in line. I talk to the person next to me at the deli counter when I am waiting my turn. Once I leave the walls of my home I expect to interact with the world. I expect curiosity from children and civility from adults. I don't go out expecting to be in a bubble. There are too many grumpy "leave me alone" people in the world.

Just my opinion, I'm sure others will disagree.

I don't entirely disagree. However, I really think it's better to see if a person appears open to conversation before jumping right in. It's usually easy for an adult to tell from nonverbal clues whether someone would prefer to be left alone. If they appear to be open to conversation, you can try small talk and see if they are receptive. Adults can usually tell if someone doesn't want to talk and is just being polite, so as an adult you can tell when to back off. Kids aren't usually good with those kinds of cues, so I think it's better to teach them not to approach an adult to strike up conversation unless the adult engages them first. (Of course then you have to decide where your line is with the whole "don't talk to strangers" thing.) But I think most adults aren't going to mind a kid who waves their toy and says "I have a car!" even if they don't want to engage in conversation with the child, especially if the parent then distracts the child. They can always choose to respond if they want to, and they can ignore the comment if they don't want to respond. It's different when the child starts asking the adult direct questions and expecting a response. I think it's always rude to just ask someone's name. If you choose to offer yours and then they introduce themselves, that's fine, but I would find it very rude if someone just came up and asked my name.

 

[momrek06]

Me and DS went shopping today and went to McD's for lunch. We sit down and an old lady sits next to us. We're eating and I notice he gave the lady's handbag a flick with his finger. I told him how its rude to touch people's things. I know he's expecting this old lady to smile at him or something.HE then taps on the bench next to his leg. The lady says to him rather meanly can you stop that it's annoying. Now my DS asks her what her name is. She tells him it's none of your business. Poor DS looked so shocked. I was thinking not so nice things but didn't say anything. After he finished I took him to the pet store where the poor barking puppies took his mind off the rudeness.

OP, move on. Don't try and figure out why people do the things they do. Don't let it ruin your whole day. Just move on.

 

[momrek06]

There are too many grumpy "leave me alone" people in the world.

And thats obviously who the OP ran into. I say just move on.

 

[MIGrandma]

This is a bit OT but I think more people need to strike up conversations with people in public. We are too insular as it is, adults included. If we interacted with those around us more I think the world would be a better place. I always talk to the person in front or behind me in line. I talk to the person next to me at the deli counter when I am waiting my turn. Once I leave the walls of my home I expect to interact with the world. I expect curiosity from children and civility from adults. I don't go out expecting to be in a bubble. There are too many grumpy "leave me alone" people in the world.

Just my opinion, I'm sure others will disagree.

I'll disagree with you. I hate it when strangers try to strike up a conversation with me in stores. It sounds like you are a talker and enjoy people in general. That's fine. For you. But not for everyone. We are all different. Just because I may not want to chat with you while I'm in line does not make me a "grumpy" person. I'm not a talker. I'm a very quiet person. I tend to enjoy my own company before the company of others. That's not wrong. That's just the way I am. Just as you are the way you are. You think the world would be a better place if everyone interracted with each other more. I think the world would be a better place if talkers would respect that quiet people might not want to talk.

I hate sitting in the doctor's office, or on a plane, or at a theater waiting for the movie to start and someone near me starts talking to me. A comment or two I will be polite and answer, but if they don't be quiet I pull out a book or magazine. Doesn't make me "grumpy". I just don't enjoy chatting with strangers, never have and probably never will.

 

[ICF]

for fun only....this could be the other side of the story......lest you want to judge the old lady based on the facts presented.

Annoying Kids vent

Just got home and had to vent......on my way home from the Dr.'s office already in a bad mood due to some disturbing test results and ran into McDonalds to pickup a quick meal before heading over to visit my sister in the nursing home. I fear she may not make it until the end of the year, but that is another story for another day. Anyway, I sit down in the 1st empty table I find. It was a mother and child, but I wasn't really noticing them when I sat down...I just wanted a clean and empty table to eat. Not 2 mins into my meal the child starts tapping on my purse.....more than once. I give the mom a look and she tells little "Johnny" to not touch my other people's things. Then "Johnny" starts in on the bench....banging away like he's playing the drums or something. The mom of course just smiles and says nothing to him, so I ask him sternly to stop that he is annoying people with his thumping. The kids then tried to start a conversation with me and asks my name. Really? Don't parents these days teach their kids to not talk to strangers any more? Now, I realize this was a McDonalds and not a five star restaurant, but is it too much to expect that I can have 10 mins to sit down and eat food without this type of interuption??!?!

In hindsight, I should have kept my mouth shut and not snapped at "Johnny", but what is it with parents and kids these days?!?! It wasn't like this when I was a parent, we had discipline....kids could get spanked in school without lawsuits and knew their place in the world. 1st my poor sister, who's confined to a motorized scooter, had to deal with a screeching kid in walmart a couple of weeks ago and now this little monster can't keep his hands to himself and not annoy others.....parents these days!!

 

[pearlieq]

I have yet to have a day in my life where I was unwilling to interact with any child, even a stranger.

I would count yourself lucky instead of patting yourself on the back.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

Annoying Kids vent

Just got home and had to vent......on my way home from the Dr.'s office already in a bad mood due to some disturbing test results and ran into McDonalds to pickup a quick meal before heading over to visit my sister in the nursing home. I fear she may not make it until the end of the year, but that is another story for another day. Anyway, I sit down in the 1st empty table I find. It was a mother and child, but I wasn't really noticing them when I sat down...I just wanted a clean and empty table to eat. Not 2 mins into my meal the child starts tapping on my purse.....more than once. I give the mom a look and she tells little "Johnny" to not touch my other people's things. Then "Johnny" starts in on the bench....banging away like he's playing the drums or something. The mom of course just smiles and says nothing to him, so I ask him sternly to stop that he is annoying people with his thumping. The kids then tried to start a conversation with me and asks my name. Really? Don't parents these days teach their kids to not talk to strangers any more? Now, I realize this was a McDonalds and not a five star restaurant, but is it too much to expect that I can have 10 mins to sit down and eat food without this type of interuption??!?!

In hindsight, I should have kept my mouth shut and not snapped at "Johnny", but what is it with parents and kids these days?!?! It wasn't like this when I was a parent, we had discipline....kids could get spanked in school without lawsuits and knew their place in the world. 1st my poor sister, who's confined to a motorized scooter, had to deal with a screeching kid in walmart a couple of weeks ago and now this little monster can't keep his hands to himself and not annoy others.....parents these days!!

I love the fact that you brought the Wal-Mart thread into this. I spend too much time on the Dis.

 

[MIGrandma]

for fun only....this could be the other side of the story......lest you want to judge the old lady based on the facts presented.

Annoying Kids vent

Just got home and had to vent......on my way home from the Dr.'s office already in a bad mood due to some disturbing test results and ran into McDonalds to pickup a quick meal before heading over to visit my sister in the nursing home. I fear she may not make it until the end of the year, but that is another story for another day. Anyway, I sit down in the 1st empty table I find. It was a mother and child, but I wasn't really noticing them when I sat down...I just wanted a clean and empty table to eat. Not 2 mins into my meal the child starts tapping on my purse.....more than once. I give the mom a look and she tells little "Johnny" to not touch my other people's things. Then "Johnny" starts in on the bench....banging away like he's playing the drums or something. The mom of course just smiles and says nothing to him, so I ask him sternly to stop that he is annoying people with his thumping. The kids then tried to start a conversation with me and asks my name. Really? Don't parents these days teach their kids to not talk to strangers any more? Now, I realize this was a McDonalds and not a five star restaurant, but is it too much to expect that I can have 10 mins to sit down and eat food without this type of interuption??!?!

In hindsight, I should have kept my mouth shut and not snapped at "Johnny", but what is it with parents and kids these days?!?! It wasn't like this when I was a parent, we had discipline....kids could get spanked in school without lawsuits and knew their place in the world. 1st my poor sister, who's confined to a motorized scooter, had to deal with a screeching kid in walmart a couple of weeks ago and now this little monster can't keep his hands to himself and not annoy others.....parents these days!!

I love that!! There are always 3 sides to every story. In this case 1) the Mom's side, 2) the elderly lady's side and, 3) the truth.

 

[crashbb]

I love that!! There are always 3 sides to every story. In this case 1) the Mom's side, 2) the elderly lady's side and, 3) the truth.

Doesn't the kid get his own side?

More discrimination against children...

 

[luvmy3]

If the child in the OP said "stop doing that its annoying" and if she asked his name and he said "none of your business", would his behavior towards her be excused and not thought of as being rude? Even if, maybe his favorite blanky was ripped to shreds in the dryer that morning and all he wanted to do was sit home alone and cry but his mom took him to McD's to cheer him up?

I say it jokingly but if a child ever said those things to an adult we would have a thread on here about how the youth of today is just so disrespectful, rude and suffering from the entitlement mentality.

 

[MichelleVW]

for fun only....this could be the other side of the story......lest you want to judge the old lady based on the facts presented.

Annoying Kids vent

Just got home and had to vent......on my way home from the Dr.'s office already in a bad mood due to some disturbing test results and ran into McDonalds to pickup a quick meal before heading over to visit my sister in the nursing home. I fear she may not make it until the end of the year, but that is another story for another day. Anyway, I sit down in the 1st empty table I find. It was a mother and child, but I wasn't really noticing them when I sat down...I just wanted a clean and empty table to eat. Not 2 mins into my meal the child starts tapping on my purse.....more than once. I give the mom a look and she tells little "Johnny" to not touch my other people's things. Then "Johnny" starts in on the bench....banging away like he's playing the drums or something. The mom of course just smiles and says nothing to him, so I ask him sternly to stop that he is annoying people with his thumping. The kids then tried to start a conversation with me and asks my name. Really? Don't parents these days teach their kids to not talk to strangers any more? Now, I realize this was a McDonalds and not a five star restaurant, but is it too much to expect that I can have 10 mins to sit down and eat food without this type of interuption??!?!

In hindsight, I should have kept my mouth shut and not snapped at "Johnny", but what is it with parents and kids these days?!?! It wasn't like this when I was a parent, we had discipline....kids could get spanked in school without lawsuits and knew their place in the world. 1st my poor sister, who's confined to a motorized scooter, had to deal with a screeching kid in walmart a couple of weeks ago and now this little monster can't keep his hands to himself and not annoy others.....parents these days!!

I love it!

 

[FireDancer]

I don't entirely disagree. However, I really think it's better to see if a person appears open to conversation before jumping right in. It's usually easy for an adult to tell from nonverbal clues whether someone would prefer to be left alone. If they appear to be open to conversation, you can try small talk and see if they are receptive. Adults can usually tell if someone doesn't want to talk and is just being polite, so as an adult you can tell when to back off. Kids aren't usually good with those kinds of cues, so I think it's better to teach them not to approach an adult to strike up conversation unless the adult engages them first. (Of course then you have to decide where your line is with the whole "don't talk to strangers" thing.) But I think most adults aren't going to mind a kid who waves their toy and says "I have a car!" even if they don't want to engage in conversation with the child, especially if the parent then distracts the child. They can always choose to respond if they want to, and they can ignore the comment if they don't want to respond. It's different when the child starts asking the adult direct questions and expecting a response. I think it's always rude to just ask someone's name. If you choose to offer yours and then they introduce themselves, that's fine, but I would find it very rude if someone just came up and asked my name.

Yeah, conversation is definitely an art form and I know how to use non verbal queues to know when to end a conversation, but you won't know if someone is open until you engage them. If they aren't open I don't just continue to talk to them. Like most things though to be good at it you have to do it.

Kids definitely don't know how to use queues but just like eating and walking and using the toilet they have to learn by doing.

I am definitely and extrovert so that makes it easy for me but I look at it like this: We are all stuck sharing this planet and at times we are spent sharing a very small place on it. If we engage with each other like civilized people (or not yet civilized completely like a child will be) that time will be more pleasant and we just might make a few more friends. Just offering my perspective.

I would count yourself lucky instead of patting yourself on the back.

I wasn't patting anyone anywhere, this is a thread about children so most patting would be inappropriate I was just putting a perspective and opinion out there, nothing more. I was also unaware that being outgoing was something to be lucky about.

 

[LoraJ]

for fun only....this could be the other side of the story......lest you want to judge the old lady based on the facts presented.

Annoying Kids vent

Just got home and had to vent......on my way home from the Dr.'s office already in a bad mood due to some disturbing test results and ran into McDonalds to pickup a quick meal before heading over to visit my sister in the nursing home. I fear she may not make it until the end of the year, but that is another story for another day. Anyway, I sit down in the 1st empty table I find. It was a mother and child, but I wasn't really noticing them when I sat down...I just wanted a clean and empty table to eat. Not 2 mins into my meal the child starts tapping on my purse.....more than once. I give the mom a look and she tells little "Johnny" to not touch my other people's things. Then "Johnny" starts in on the bench....banging away like he's playing the drums or something. The mom of course just smiles and says nothing to him, so I ask him sternly to stop that he is annoying people with his thumping. The kids then tried to start a conversation with me and asks my name. Really? Don't parents these days teach their kids to not talk to strangers any more? Now, I realize this was a McDonalds and not a five star restaurant, but is it too much to expect that I can have 10 mins to sit down and eat food without this type of interuption??!?!

In hindsight, I should have kept my mouth shut and not snapped at "Johnny", but what is it with parents and kids these days?!?! It wasn't like this when I was a parent, we had discipline....kids could get spanked in school without lawsuits and knew their place in the world. 1st my poor sister, who's confined to a motorized scooter, had to deal with a screeching kid in walmart a couple of weeks ago and now this little monster can't keep his hands to himself and not annoy others.....parents these days!!

Love it!!!

 

[Ciao Mickey]

Me and DS went shopping today and went to McD's for lunch. We sit down and an old lady sits next to us. We're eating and I notice he gave the lady's handbag a flick with his finger. I told him how its rude to touch people's things. I know he's expecting this old lady to smile at him or something.HE then taps on the bench next to his leg. The lady says to him rather meanly can you stop that it's annoying. Now my DS asks her what her name is. She tells him it's none of your business. Poor DS looked so shocked. I was thinking not so nice things but didn't say anything. After he finished I took him to the pet store where the poor barking puppies took his mind off the rudeness.

To be fair, shouldn't this thread be renamed "A lady was mean to my 4 year old today because he was obviously annoying her?"

Sounds like you didn't pick up her cue that she wanted to be left alone and didn't want to be bothered by you or your son.

 

[pearlieq]

I was also unaware that being outgoing was something to be lucky about.

No, what's lucky is that you've apparently never had anything befall you that left you unequipped to engage with other people, even temporarily.

That's fortunate, not evidence of a better character or an indication that you have "more patience" which is how your original post came across.