A few Halloween jokes

[Truth]

Yes it's old but AAARRRRRRR matey it's got a pirate.

A little boy dressed as a pirate knocks on
yet another door to trick or treat.
The woman opening the door is stunned to see
the elaborate pirate costume, resplendent with
stuffed parrot, cutlass and eye patch.
"What a great little pirate!" she exclaimed,
"But where are your buccaneers?"
The boy looked puzzled for a moment
and then replied....
"Oh ! Under my buckin' hat!"

 

[LisaGoeke]

Late one dark and rainy night a man was walking home alone when he hears
a.......


BUMP...



BUMP...



BUMP... behind him.



Walking faster he looks back, and makes out the image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle



of the street


towards him



BUMP...



BUMP...



BUMP...



Terrified, the man begins to run towards his home, the coffin bouncing quickly behind him ...

faster...



faster...



BUMP...



BUMP....



BUMP.



He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the coffin crashes through his door, with the lid of the coffin clapping ...


clappity-BUMP...



clappity-BUMP...



clappity-BUMP...



clappity-BUMP...



on the heels of the terrified man.....
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. .



With a loud CRASH the coffin starts breaking down the door. Bumping and clapping towards him.
The man screams and reaches for something heavy, anything ...

his hand comes to rest on a large bottle of


ROBITUSSIN .


Desperate, he throws the Robitussin as hard as he can at the apparition,



and...


the coffin stops

 

[Truth]

Two trick or treaters dressed as a Ghost & a Witch have been out all evening & hardly have a handful of candy between them. As they walk along they meet three more trick or treaters dressed as Sebastian the crab the muppet's King Prawn and Pinchers the beanie baby lobster. They are lugging huge sacks of candy & buckets full of treats. After the heavy laden trio pass, the two hapless ghouls are stunned, the ghost asks the witch "do you think they would share with us if
we asked them real nicely?
" The witch replies, "nah....they're all shellfish."

 

[tink29]

What do goblins drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?

Ghoul-Aid!!




Who is the best dancer at a Halloween party??

The Boogie Man!!



What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack_o'_lantern by its diameter?

Pumpkin "PI"!!!

 

[Dan Murphy]

Originally posted by tink29
.......Who is the best dancer at a Halloween party??.....

I was thinking the penguins.

http://www.angelfire.com/pe/penguindance/