A different kind of weight loss journal...

[DisTeach1]

Well, this New Year (and for the past 4 months) I have really resolved to get healthy and fight my battles. I don't have a lot to lose, but over the last 5 years, the scale has slowly crept up. But...I'm not overweight, just a little out of shape, yet I realize I am cheating my health, vitality, and energy slowly. I am 5'7" and currently weigh 147. Not overweight, but I used to weigh 135. Many clothes are not comfortable and my body has definitely changed. What has brought this about? Drinking too much. Now, I hope I don't get kicked off the board for admitting this, but as I sit here watching Dr. Phil today on people trying to lose weight, I realize I don't have a food control issue, but have been turning to drinking to control my emotions and deal with stress. Many days, I wake up a little queasy and headachy.
Am I an alcoholic? No, I don't think so. I don't get drunk, but my tolerance for what I can drink and not show it, has gone up. I never used to drink at home on a regular day, but over the last 5 years, I started having a glass of wine before dinner. That grew to two or three glasses of wine. Over time, I've noticed how that habit has been difficult to give up, and I crave a drink if I don't have one. In addition, like last night, I often have a quick shot or two of tequila. It's a lot, I know, and definitely accounts for my weight gain. When I drink, I get sleepy (two glasses of wine and I'm asleep), so I don't exercise or have the energy to interact with my family. My husband doesn't know about the tequila, and can't really tell, because as I've said, I just get sleepy. He thinks I'm tired a lot, because I never have energy. I would like to have the strength to meet my resolution of not drinking during the week, and keeping the drinking to social occasions. It's funny, when I'm in social occasions, I actually drink less. It's when I'm home, and having to deal with the day to day life, that I want to escape. Being with friends, dinner out, vacations are an escape, so I don't crave the alcohol. But most of all, I would like to not feel like I "need" a drink to get through the day. So, I am trying to commit to healthier eating and more consistent exercise, but most of all, to not drinking during the week, and not doing shots. It will be a struggle, just like food is to many people. So, I hope I can keep my journal here, because it is a weight loss and health journal. Just with a different twist. So, this journal will mainly be a place for my thoughts and reflections, but please feel free to comment, and hopefully not flame.

 

[jennz]

Of course you can keep your journal here! Everyone struggles with something different. I'm impressed with your honesty, that's very brave.

If I can make a suggestion...a week is a l-o-n-g time for a first goal! How about going a day without a drink? I totally have a problem with snacking and sometimes I break it down even smaller..."I can go until noon without chips." I know I'm not comparing apples to apples here but for me it works and makes it more do-able, plus I get small victories throughout the day. A week - forget it I'm done after a few days. A few days, great - now I can go another day. For what it's worth...

Congratulations on posting and taking the first steps!!

 

[DisTeach1]

Wow, this is tougher than I thought...Journaling. I thought doing it online would be easier but it's not. I give credit to all of you who faithfully journal-whether it is a food/exercise diary or whatever. I understand what the other poster said about setting small manageable goals. I'm trying to do that, but sometimes life takes over, and before I know it, my day or week is gone and I've not even paid attention to what my "one" goal is. The goals I've set previously are 1) Always have a piece of fruit with breakfast. Then at least my day has gotten off to a good start. Sometimes I forget. 2)Write my daily exercise down, so I can look back and see what I've done for the week 3)And most importantly, reduce the drinking because that is really causing my caloric intake to rise. No wonder my belly is "mushy". Last night, I had a glass of wine-That's it, not bad. But I haven't lost any weight since January, so I'm failing in the exercise challenge.

How do you know the difference between a bad habit and an addiction? What ever that habit is? Those of you with food issues, how do you know when the line between habit to addiction is crossed?

My small change I'm trying to start is having either a cup of green tea or a latte when I come home from school/work instead of a glass of wine. It's cold outside, and I love a latte. Starting off with wine gets me off to a bad start and makes me tired. We'll see how I do with THAT change this coming week.

I think it's important to focus on my small goals, rather than the weight loss right now.

 

[kimwim8]

Hi DisTeach1!

Welcome to the WISH journals. I'm proud of you for joining!! I have received so much support this way, and you will to, no matter what our goals.

I do have alcoholism in my family, and I'd say that by you so aware of how much you drink and what effects it has on you, that you're doing ok with it. I think that your goal is totally attainable, and that it's not gonna be easy. But be strong, and you'll do it!

Take care!!!

 

[SunFloridaDisney]

How do you know the difference between a bad habit and an addiction? What ever that habit is? Those of you with food issues, how do you know when the line between habit to addiction is crossed?

I think that is something you just have to "know" in your heart. Personally, I don't think it should matter so much what you call it or name it, I think what's important is how it is affecting your day to day life.

About 10 years ago I was in a really bad place, I had 4 very young kids, working, I was in the midst of depression and didn't realize it, I was simply overwhelmed with life. I also started drinking, small amounts and then more, until it was getting to be very problematic.

I finally started going to AA meetings, and at first I kept trying to prove to myself that I wasn't really an alcoholic. Now after all these years, I realize that what matters is that I know for me to be healthy (emotionally, physically, a number of ways) I need to not drink. That's all. And that's just me. Your situation may be very different.

If you've realized this is a problem area, and you can cut back a lot and do well, that's great. I think you just need to see what works well for you. Same with overeating or anything else.

Good luck.

 

[Jane E.]

Welcome to the WishBoards. We're here for you. Just take it a day at a time.

 

[DisTeach1]

I realize how much I let the little things in life sidetrack me. I've been stressed about work. And, so I haven't worked out as much. The funny thing is, I still get up early (It's 4:20 in CA), but I just hang out. Then, later, I get mad. Also, it's cold!! It's so hard to start exercising-Those first 5 minutes or so are freezing. So, I've started sleeping in sweats, then I change once I start exercising.

I really do have to find a way to handle stress. With some, I know, it's food, with me, it's the drinking, which sucks. I always think, "When this situation is over, I will focus on not drinking". I need to handle the drinking, no matter what the situation. Right?

Also, I read something in Women's Health. (This is a new magazine, but it's great-I recommend it.) Nine secrects to weight loss-Don't underestimate food, don't overestimate exercise. I do that! I think because I am a pretty good exerciser that I don't have to watch what I eat. I really need to bump up the fruit/vegetable intake. No weight loss yet!

 

[kimwim8]

You are so aware of what you're doing, that I know you're going to be successful. Like another poster said, take it one day at a time. Make mini goals for yourself. Like...today I'm gonna eat 3 pieces of fruit. Something like that. You'll get there....keep on trying!!

 

[DisTeach1]

Well, this weekend was okay. On Saturday, I ran/walked for 45 minutes. One of my focuses is to increase my running time and really break from this walking routine I have. So, out of the 45 minutes, I probably spent 30 of it going at a light jog. It felt really good, like I was accomplishing a goal. Then I did pushups and ab work. As far as drinking, I had a glass of wine with my Mom around 5 o'clock, then my husband and I went to a crab feed. This sounds bad, but it's really not. I had 3 glasses of wine and my husband had 3 beers. But, we laughed about it, because the glasses were SO SMALL. We had to purchase tickets to buy them, and each glass cost two tickets ($2). They were sort of like wine tasting size, so I guess 3 glasses was probably the equivalent of 1 regular restaurant glass. And, that's it.

Yesterday, we went to Chili's and I had a beer. So no shots this weekend, and only drinking when I went out. Pretty good for a weekend. But, it's really the stress of a work week that gets to me.

This week, I'm focusing on remembering what I really enjoy-Hot lattes and green tea, and making that instead of having a drink when I get home from work.

I notice many of you on these journals really track what you eat. I've decided not to do that for now, and track what I drink and how much I work out. I woke up with a bad cold yesterday. Now, I know some people work out with a cold, but I just can never do that. I'm a veg when I have a cold. So, maybe tomorrow or Wednesday, I'll get back on it.

 

[DisTeach1]

Well, I had a cold last week and I was so tired. I just felt like I wanted to sleep all week. So, all my good intentions went out the window. I also didn't lose any weight the way I usually do when I'm sick-Oh Well. Today, I woke up and didn't feel that exhaustion, so I worked out. Just not to what I had planned. This is what I did:
40 minutes on the Treadmill
7 minutes to Bodymax Step Tape(I'm teaching myself how to do this).

So far thats it. I was supposed to do 45 on the treadmill and 10 on Bodymax, also 8 minutes in the morning, and 10 minutes of ABs. I will try and finish in the afternoon. I can see it's a lot after being sick.

Yesterday, was Super Bowl day. I had a beer and a shot with my husband, and then a second beer later on. Not bad I guess. Also, I've discovered wine spritzers, which I compare to a diet drink. It's just a splash of red or white wine mixed with sparkling water. I love bubbles, so I love the taste of this, plus it's very low cal this way. Great tip. Although, I had to laugh when my husband saw my glass. He said, "Woah, that is a lot of wine in that wine glass.(It was a big goblet). I explained that it was mostly water, but his initial reaction was funny.

I saw a CNN special last night, and I realized how hard it is to lose and keep off weight. Very few people have done it. So, I give credit to those who have done it.

 

[DisTeach1]

Well, yesterday wasn't so great...I slipped into old habits. I had two glasses of wine and just laid on the couch from about 6 o'clock on. Bad! I also didn't work out yesterday morning...I was soooo tired. And, of course, my good intentions to work out yesterday afternoon went down the hatch with my wine.

But, today, I did work out this morning, despite having what I've come to recognize as a dehydration headache. Now, I have to be very careful with water. I teach school, and don't drink water at all during the day because I would have to go to the bathroom too much. Sooo...this is something that I just have to deal with. I do have a bottle of water when I work out, but I stop drinking at 6:00 a.m., so I get it all out of my system. Then, I don't drink again until evening. I've never been very thirsty, so I don't notice the dehydration.

More later...I have to go to work.

 

[DisTeach1]

Bleh...Yesterday was just yucky. And, I've been doing so good with working out last week. I did 5 whole days last week which was my goal. Well, yesterday, on my day off, I woke up with a 24 hour stomache bug. We had our Valentine's dinner on Sunday, so I thought maybe it didn't agree with me, but I was also running a slight fever all day. So, I spent the day on the couch with nausea and chills. My son, who also had a holiday, declared the day as "the most boring day off ever". "Don't you want to go bowling, Mom?" Anyways, needless to say, drinking wasn't an issue yesterday and neither was eating!

I have discovered the art of watering down my wine. In addition, when we went to Outback, I ordered a vodka tonic with extra tonic and less vodka...just as satisying.

Now, I'm starting to set other goals...increase my running time. Right now I do 10 minutes of running, then a 3 minute cool down, then repeat for about 4 more times. I seem to need that walking break. I also ordered some bowflex tapes, so I've been working out on the Bowflex more. When it comes to weight, I seem to need to follow someone in order to push myself.

Today, on the menu, oatmeal. And, I'm going to eat light today, and make sure my stomache bug doesn't come back. It's an easy day at school, because my kids get to watch a movie and listen to "book on tape" of our core novel.

 

[AmyBeth68]

Sounds like you are doing great! I sure hope you feel better soon! (((HUGS))).

Stay positive, I read your whole journal from beginning to end and it sounds like you're really making HUGE steps toward your goals. You're working out and cutting back on wine/alcohol! Way to go .

Also...I can appreciate your struggle with wine b/c I love it soooo much! I love the taste, I love to sit and enjoy a glass. But my goal has been to not drink during the weeknights. I sometimes have 1 or 2 glasses with dinner during the week. The problem is, even though that doesn't cause me to get tipsy or anything, I am positive it impacts my next day at my workouts. With training for the marathon, I can't afford to have a lot off days. Especially running or cardio-kickboxing. So I try to limit my wine to the weekend....and definitely keep it to a 2 glass max. I'm with you in this journey .

 

[DisTeach1]

Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying...The one or two glasses doesn't sound like a lot, but it makes me tired, which makes me lay around, and sometimes the next morning, I don't work out, so I know it's partially responsible for the 10 lbvs. Anyways, the stomache bug is gone, so it's back to working out. I can't quite get the nerve up to run outside at 4:00 a.m., so I'll stick with the treadmill. I know I can still increase my running and get a good workout that way.

 

[AmyBeth68]

Glad you're feeling better! Hey....doing anything at 4:00 am is amazing in my book....and running is doubly amazing.

I did have a glass of wine last night...for Valentine's Day....my DH didn't get to eat together due to running the kids around. So we had a little wine. Keeping it to one glass was fine...my class went well this am and I didn't feel sluggish.

 

[DisTeach1]

One thing I'm learning is that I don't have any stress management techniques. I had a really bad day at work yesterday. I teach middle-school and one of the parents has complained-petty stuff, really. I know this is a common occurence and veteran teachers let it slide off them, but it hasn't happened to me, so it really, really bothers me. When I experience stress, I shut down. I find it really hard to work out, I like to just stew on what's bothering me. Unhealthy, I know. I really need to find a way to deal with it, because obviously parents complaining is part of the deal when you teach. So, as my usual mode, I had a couple of beers, while sitting on the couch watching the Olympics. Two beers. Not horrible, but still. We'll see how today goes.

Also, it's cold here. Well, cold for California, but I'm a wimp. It's in the low 30's and it's so hard to get out of the pajamas and work out. But, those 10 lbs aren't budging. I'm 5'7" and used to weigh 135, and now weigh between 147 and 148. Not horrible, but something I want to get rid of. But, I'm starting to realize that it's not going to fall off like I thought it would.

 

[DisTeach1]

Well, I did it! After posting, I got up, changed, (brrrr), and got on the treadmill. I ran/walked for 4 miles today and then did shoulder work. I've been getting a lot of catalogs with summer clothes and noticing how great some of the model's shoulders look, so I've been working on my shoulders and chest muscles more than usual. Tomorrow, will be arms and back with the bowflex. My husband and I have been working on our core together, so this afternoon we will either do a Pilates tape or a Core Secrets Ab Assault tape.

 

[DisTeach1]

Well, here it is Tuesday and back to work. One thing hanging over my head right now, is I really hate my job, so I'm kindof in a funk this morning. I teach school. While I like teaching, and used to sub, this is my first year working full-time and in middle school to boot, I'm finding it too much. Next year, I want to go back to subbing or find a job share. I also came up with a "2 lb plan". This 10 pounds is just not budging. So, I am aiming to lose 2 lbs a month until November 18, when we leave on vacation. That will be a grand total of 18 lbs and would put me down to 130 lbs. We'll see...I haven't seen 130 since I was 30 years old...8 years ago. Granted my workouts haven't been as consistent, but I need to at least start tracking my eating. Today, I started out with a Cathe video-Bootcamp, but only did 5 of the 8 rotations. I might finish the other 3 today when I get home. I get distracted when I'm discouraged and I'm very discouraged about my job right now. Maybe I will also try a run this afternoon.

 

[DisTeach1]

Well, I got up today. You know how they say, if you're tired, try it for just 10 minutes, and likely you'll feel better and continue? Well, it didn't work today. I'm so tired. And cold, I'm sick of winter, and I only live in California. So, I ran/walked for 20 minutes and I still felt like my eyes could close at any moment and I could just drift off to sleep, so I QUIT! BAAAHHH! Anyways, here I am, sitting with my laptop, looking for motivation.

I have decided to not focus so much on the drinking, but also the eating because the SCALE IS NOT BUDGING! Yesterday, I had a salad for lunch, instead of the heavy duty spaghetti lunch the cafeteria was offering. And, for dinner, I had...What? I can't remember, but I did have one, and only one glass of wine. Oh yeah, I had jambalaya and french bread...Delicious, but I had way too much bread. My grocery store makes this great jamalaya on select days, so they had it when I went grocery shopping. It's impossible to eat without fresh sourdough and a glass of chilled wine...But, that was it for the whole night. I never snack at night, which is great.

 

[DisTeach1]

I am soooo discouraged today. I have a pulled muscle, so didn't work out this morning. Notice a pattern yet...I give myself any out that I can find and I'm a wimp. But, I am going to work on consistency. I am going to start Oprah/Bob Greene's plan, which builds from week to week. I am going to start 1/2 way between intermediate and beginner, and focus on improving my running. So, Monday I will do 20 minute workouts, with one day a week doubling to 40 minutes. The following week, it will be 22 minute runs, with one day doubling to 44, and so on. I will also continue with my Bowflex and abs. I think I need to really, really focus on consistently hitting 5-6 days week, so even though 20 minutes isn't a lot to start, if I do it 6 days a week, it's actually more than I'm doing now. Also, I will really, really try to run more than I walk...But it's so hard to run-It's really exhausting, and I find myself walking.

I got on the scale today after trying on 3 pairs of jeans and not being happy...Yuck. 149.5. I haven't lost a pound. Like I said, I am so discouraged.