After having a genuine "Magical Moment"...the Campbellscot's were ready to head to China!!
We had rested, eaten exotic foods...replenished our souls. Let the world traveling commence!!!
The kids climbed into the kid transporter and we were off!
It was a lovely walk from Norway to China...I could feel a breeze...sort of. Jay was pushing the kid transporter and I was strolling beside him...all was well with the world.
The tranquility was shattered when rather suddenly, a small foghorn went off from the confines of the kid transporter.
Then there was a shriek co-mingled with the sound of very satisfied giggling.
I had a flashback to the day before...
Sally jumped out of the kid transporter without waiting for it stop. The child had MURDER in her eyes. I took a step back. Sally had her rage on!
Miss.Cammie.Teddy.Just.BURPED.In.My.FACE!!!! ON. PURPOSE!!!
oh well...happy Disney bubble of family togetherness at least lasted a few feet...
Teddy's very impish and just too cute face peeked around the side of the kid transporter. The child's eyes were twinkling...seriously...I heard that little sparkle special effect...y'all know what I mean...not kidding!
Sally pointed an accusing finger and fumed,
"THERE HE IS! PUNISH HIM!!!"
I automatically said without thinking "Sally don't point!" I don't like pointing...it's just beyond rude...but it probably wasn't the moment to remind Sally of this, such was her wrath.
I took Sally's hand and we walked a little bit away from where the boys were. Sally's face was contorted in an impossible looking knot. It's so hard not to laugh when she is so totally offended.
But I put my "concerned and interested" social worker face on.
"MISSCAMMIE, He DID! He BURPED IN MY FACE and HE IS the MOST GROSSEST LITTLE BROTHER ON THIS EARTH!!!"
"Sal, you're at a 10, we need to take it down to a five."
"BUT MISSCAMIE.."
"Sally, my ears only work on a five...maybe a seven if there is a fire...which there is not...so lets lower the volume..."
Sally fixed me with a look. A look that said that I didn't understand. I was not comprehending the level of her rage and offended-ness...I was not meeting the expectation.
So I fixed her with an eyebrow that said "Look kiddo...I know your little brother grosses you out, but you just rewarded him with the EXACT response he was fishing for...so lower the voice or we are going to be in a fight"
I said all that with my eyes.
I won.
Rage Sally went away and extremely annoyed Sally appeared in her place.
"MissCammie, I am very angry at Teddy for being disgusting."
"I can hear that Sally. I know you must be really frustrated with him right now."
"I am. Very. VERY. frustrated."
"You are doing a great job using your words!"
"Umm...MissCammie, when does he get his consequence?"
"Sal, we've sort of gone over this a couple of times. Teddy is five...so he is going to do things that gross you out. But when you screech and flail around, you are just giving him reason to do it again. It's not okay for him to have bad manners, but let's put this into perspective. Burps happen. Yes they are gross, but they are what they are...so lets let it go with the attention it deserves...which is pretty much none.
"But MissCammie. He didn't say EXCUSE ME!"
she had me there.
I looked over to where Jay was supposed to be impressing upon Teddy the error of his ways...instead he was trying to teach Teddy how to snap his fingers...
great...this is undoubtedly something Teddy will love to practice in the car on long car rides.
I put out my hand to Sally and we walked back to the boys.
"Are we ready here gentlemen?" I stressed the last word...so that my husband would know that he was supposed to be teaching his young son to have better manners, NOT adding to his list of annoying noises to make with his body!
Teddy looked up and said "YEP!"
I slapped him around a little with an eyebrow.
He gave his most angelic smile and said:
"Sorry Sally for being rude. Excuse my burp please..."
Jay gave me a smug "SEE...you thought I was shirking my responsibilities and you were WRONG!!" look.
I gave him a "STOP teaching the children to make irritating noises before I have to do something MEAN to you" look.
Yep, we were right back on track!
Teddy climbed back into the kid transporter. Jay asked Sally if she was going to climb in too...she answered with,
"No thank you Daddy. I'll walk till my FEET fall off..."
She very firmly took hold of my hand.
That was that.
We arrived in China two steps later!
I like China. It's got a slow down and browse sort of vibe. Which we did. We wandered in and out of the shops. Ooohd and Ahhhed over...stuff. Sally had her little eagle eyes on...she was looking for the kidcot station! She finally spotted it as we entered a very large "look and browse" area. She bounced in her
crocs asking if she could "run over to it!!" I told her of COURSE she could...but she had to go with Teddy...AND keep an eye on him...
She thought on that for a moment.
"Okay. I will...C'mon Teddy. And DON'T be gross...or embarrassing. And don't BREAK anything..."
Teddy is so good natured. He was just happy to collect his China tag and have his mask signed. Sally rattled on about what he wasn't supposed to do and he ignored her and chattered about seeing Panda bears everywhere!
Everyone was happy!
Just a little beyond the Kidcot station I saw Mulan AND Mushu!!! And since I am a major Disney DORK, I happen to know that Mushu isn't all that common a character to find out and about!! Now I was the one bouncing around in my flip flops. The line wasn't very long...yet...but people were starting to descend!
I gave Jay a smack on the arm.
"HONEY LOOK!!! It's MUSHU!!!"
"who?"
"MUSHU...from Mulan...y'know...MUSHU!!"
"you can say it ten more times and I'm STILL going to think you are talking about a food stand..."
isn't my husband SO funny...
I gave his toe a little stomp...to get his attention only of course...
*ahem*
"Honey...it's the dragon...Eddie Murphy did the voice...from the movie Mulan..."
Jay gave me a very patient and condescending look...
"Cam, that movie is called Shrek...and it's a Donkey...not a Dragon..."
QUACK!
"HUSBAND, get your children OVER HERE so that they can have their pictures taken with Mulan and Mushu. They will NEVER forgive you EVER for missing this opportunity. And they will talk about you in therapy for YEARS as the reason for their lackluster lives all because their father felt it was MORE important to TEASE his wife than to give them this wonderful Disney moment!"
Jay applauded and pretended to hand me an Oscar for Best Dramatic performance...
ha. ha...haha...ha.
The kids came scampering over on their own. Teddy was thrilled to have "CHINA WRITING" on his mask.
I grandly pointed out Mulan and Mushu and waited for their excited squeals.
Teddy gave me a blank look and said,
"Who's Mushu?"
FINE...nobody recognize how thrilling this is...see if I even CARE...because I don't. At all.
Sally patted my arm and said "Is Mushu a bug MissCammie?"
*sigh*
I actually have to remember that the kids were really young and/or not born when Mulan came out. I know they've seen it, but if I recall Sally found it "scary"...and that was when she was three.
even SO...being the Disney Dork signature seeking weirdo that I am...I was excited...SO THERE!
The kids got in line and waited for their pictures and signatures.
Here it is...a moment of a LIFETIME!!
Sally later dubbed this "the picture with the China doll and the Red Bug"...
*sigh*
After that we all decided to by pass the China movie. I pointed out to the children that it WAS in 360 format...and after explaining what that meant, Sally politely said "Ummm...no thank you..."
I was with her. I remember watching a "Circle Vision" movie in
Disneyland once years ago. We were all tired and our feet hurt...and we had to STAND to see the movie...and we were too short...so basically we were standing in a crush of people...being tired and hot and having hurt feet...
not so much something I need to repeat...or subject the munchkins to...
so we waved good-bye to China.
Germany here we come!!!
I am happy to report that there we no major incidents on the way to Germany. We stopped at the outpost for some water and diet coke breaks.
Feeling refreshed and revved once again, we headed into Germany.
This was pretty much more "looking"...Teddy really liked the model railroad. Sally wasn't over impressed. Even after our water stop at the outpost, she was still really feeling the heat and looked beat. So I wiped her down with a baby wipe, spritzed her with our cool mist pumper thingie and slipped her some fruit snacks. (Mott's all natural, no artificial coloring or flavoring!)
The thing with Sally is that you have to catch her on the early side of her grumps. And it helps immensely to show quite a bit of sympathy to whatever it is she is grumpy about. Lately she'd been pretty emotional in general. Since she wasn't complaining, just truly looking worn out, I had no problem fussing over her a bit. She just needed some tending. As do we all from time to time.
The results were amazing! She felt much revived and validated. She even smiled! I was jazzed that I had caught her early before she went down the slippery side of the slope that included fits of tears and sulking. MissCammie does NOT like sulking. It annoys her. A LOT.
So yay me for saving us all from MissCammie being annoyed!
The kids went in search of the Kidcot station yet again. I looked around the shop while we waited. I was rather thrilled to find a rather large volume of The Brother's Grimm Fairy Tales!!
When I was young my best friend Meghan had a very similar book. We delighted in finding the most gruesome stories and reading them aloud to one another. My personal favorite was Fitcher's Bird and The Juniper Tree. Sure enough, both stories were in this particular book as well!!
I called a "happy dance party"...which was funny b/c both kids came running over to shake a tail feather with me...then ran back to the Kidcot station.
I have to wonder how much I'm warping these poor children's minds!
Jay pretended not to know us.
I batted my eyelashes at Jay and showed him the beautiful bit of literature that I felt would be vastly important to the continuing expansion of the children's minds...
*ahem*
and I wanted it...
even it was a little bit on the pricier side...for a book...that I was pretty sure I could get at any used book store in New Jersey...for half the price...but this one was pretty and NEW...and from Germany...in Epcot...at DISNEY...
*ahem*
I'm VERY happy to report that the Complete Tales of the Brother's Grimm looks FABULOUS on the shelf next to Stuart Little and The Trumpet of the Swan...
After that it was time to move on.
As we passed through Germany, Sally wanted to know what the "Biergarten" was.
I explained in a very grave tone that it was a very bad place in which people were forced to sit at tables with people they do not know...
Sally gave me a horrified look and said,
"But MissCammie, what if they have bad manners?"
EXACTLY!
This is why I love Sally so.
She gets it.
She has been well programmed.
Which is how I like it.
Jay gave a snort from behind us.
I threw him my most superior look, took Sally's hand and we prissed our way OUT of Germany and headed toward Italy.
Italy...the MOTHERLAND...well for the kids...in part.
At this point, I needed me a rest! I was plum worn out.
So Jay and I found a seat and let the kids run hither and yon...also known as "straight to King Neptune's Fountain".
These kids are CRAZY about throwing money into fountains. I think it's b/c of all the malls we have in New Jersey. They can't pass a fountain without a request for coin-age! I told Teddy once that it was for "sick kids"...which was the case at one particular fountain. He took that very seriously, so now every time he throws the money in he'll say "Get Better Sick Kids!!!"
It's very darling.
So when they came running over on the hunt for coins, Jay fished out some pennies and nickels and let them have at it.
Jay and I sat and remembered some more about our honeymoon. We chitty chatted about how tan the kids were getting no matter how much sunscreen we slathered on them...if it was going to rain...y'know...important stuff.
then my cell rang.
normally I wouldn't have answered it, but it was my granddad. And he panics if he calls and I don't answer. So I did.
Sally happened to hear me say "Hi Granddad".
She came running over with Teddy in tow shouting "QUICK!! MissCammie is talking Texas!!!"
My accent deepens considerably when I talk to my Granddad...mostly it's a natural thing...but it's also in part b/c Granddad has been known to accuse me of "talking like a Yankee!"
The kids sat cross legged in front of me and giggled and copied me every time I said "y'all..."
they mock b/c they love me.
After I hung up I gave them both very "serious" looks and said,
"If y'all don't QUIT makin fun of your step mama, I'm am just gonna wear y'all out! Do y'all hear me? Now GIT"
Teddy howled with laughter and said
"MissCammie where are you gonna WEAR US?! To a party?!"
lord he is his father's son.
I threatened him with a trip to Fist City...which is what he was waiting for...rewarded me with full on baby belly laugh...and then ran back to the fountain.
my my it had been a full day and we hadn't even had lunch yet!
up next: Looking for America Food!
(photobucket was frozen up all dang night, so pictures will come next chapter, PROMISE!!! Mean IT!!!)
A place called The Manor. It's very swanky...which is SO not me, but I'm gonna pretend...so I'm getting my nails done, my hair blown out and my Sunday best on!
. Hope Jay feels better.
