The boat ride back to Wilderness Lodge was STEAMY let me tell y'all...hot hot HOT...add a little body heater called Teddy to your lap and good LORD I was fixin to PASS OUT.
But we made it back to the dock and I managed to stay conscious...Sally was a GROUCHY bear at being woken up. She was further disgruntled by the fact that Teddy did NOT get woken up. Being a big sister is just fraught with unfair situations!
It was all I could do to keep Teddy in my arms. That child has legs so long they nearly touch the ground...so either I'm really short or Teddy is going to be massively tall! Luckily he weighs about 42-ish pounds, so I was doing okay. Jay had all the bags...which means I had the lighter end of the stick!
Sally asked me why it is that BROTHERS always get everything and sisters have to walk...
So I put it back to her..."Sally, why do you think that I am carrying Teddy and you are walking?"
She thought for half a second and said
"Because Teddy is a big klutz and probably would walk right into the Disney water because he NEVER pays attention and then he would get all sorts of prizes for being brave and not drowning and I'd get a time out just for STANDING HERE!"
wow...that's a telling *KA-BOOM* sort of statement...
I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that one. She was yelling at a closely held frustration that lives in her heart.
So I added:
"And you are a big girl Sally. You can walk with your own strong legs and help me and Daddy when we need it. We can't trust Teddy to help out that way b/c he's too little and he doesn't pay attention as well as you do. I'm really glad you are here. Thanks for carrying your bag. THAT is a huge help...and hey, who is that CUTIE on the front?"
Like most girls her age, Sally is just starting to notice boys that are "handsome". And like most girls her age, she is REALLY into High School Musical and Zac Efron....who happens to be on the front of her bag.
So she started chattering away about Zac and forgot about being mad. Normally I do not like to foster the coming "boy crazy" stage...but it sure worked like a charm!
putting out fires AND carrying five year olds is exhausting...
We got to take a short cut and hit the side door to our right. Our room was RIGHT THERE!! Thank GOODNESS!!! Once we got into our blessedly air conditioned room we wasted no time getting everyone pottied, teeth brushed, jammied and in bed. Teddy never woke up once. Ahh to be young!
I fiddled around getting ready for bed and tried to avoid looking at my eye. It actually didn't *look* that bad...really. It felt bad though. VERY bad. So I popped some aleve and hopped into bed. YAY SLEEP!!!
And I laid there...awake...I was SO tired that I couldn't sleep. Y'all know what i mean? I could FEEL the fatigue running through my veins. I tried to turn off my brain. But I kept listening to things...Teddy grinding his teeth, Jay breathing...Sally rolling over...the asinine television show in the background...what WAS that anyhow?! (Jay has to sleep with the TV on. Has to. He can't sleep without background noise. So I let him. Because I am trying to be a nice wife.
) I looked at the clock...it was about 1:45. We had an ADR at Crystal Palace at 8:20...
Finally...about 3:45...I SWEAR...I crashed.
"MissCammie..."
Oh...I must be dreaming. There is NO WAY I just heard my name. I'm dreaming...
"MissCAMMIE"
okay. I just heard my name. I know I did. I should probably open my eyes and see if I am actually hearing something or if I am hallucinating. If I am hallucinating then I need to revisit that medication issue...
*ahem*
"MISSCAMMIE" *taptaptaptap*
no denying that one...or I am in serious need of a snuggy jacket and a padded room...which is neither here nor there at the mo...
*hiccupsob* Great the hallucination is crying. I better check it out...
I sneaked an eye open. And there stood Teddy. *WHEW* I'm NOT as nutty as I thought!
"Yes Teddy"
the sniffle sobs got louder
"MissCammie...I...I..."
oh noooo...
"I...I..." *hiccupsob*
don't SAY IT!
"MissCammie...I...w-w-w-*hiccupsob*
oh MAN, he's gonna say it
"I...WET MY BED"....*sobsobhiccupsob*
Oh lord...we have a wet bed situation at Disneyworld...
or do we?
For a split second I forgot my gift of foresight!
When getting Teddy into his jammies...a few hours ago...I was well aware that he might have an accident. He was exhausted and probably couldn't wake up in time. He'd had a teeny accident on departure day...which was...at the time...YESTERDAY! So I slapped a pair of pull ups on over his boxers before I tucked him into bed...even though Jay gave me a look. I slapped him with a look right back! Jay sees pull ups as punitive. I see them as preventative. We've had some recent behavioral issues with Teddy wetting in bed ON PURPOSE...as well as on accident. I did NOT want to deal with a wet bed in a hotel. I was NOT going to allow attention seeking "I WET MY BED" drama to go on at Disneyworld. I was merely nipping that issue in the bud. You want to wee in your bed on purpose...fine...do it in a glorified diaper pal! (wicked...don't judge). And since I am the one that gets woken up to deal with it...even though I purposely slept furthest away from the bunk beds...little stinkers ALWAYS find me...I decided to fix the problem before there was one! That's called THINKING AHEAD!!!
Anyhow...at the moment I did not think that Teddy had wet on purpose. Neither did he, which is why we were having fairly sincere tears.
"Teddy...you have a pull up on buddy...you didn't wet your bed...you only wet the pull up...so take a breath. It's okay. Accidents happen."
He looked a little confused. He was still half asleep. He could tell he had wet undies on...but hadn't yet computed the pull up.
"Am I in timeout?"
"Was this an accident or an on purpose?"
"You can even look at my face MissCammie. It was an ACCIDENTAL!" He said this with such conviction. Teddy may be a stinker, but I can always tell when he's fibbing. I told him once that I could tell if he was fibbing or not, just by looking at his face. So he started turning away from me or covering his face when he was trying to get away with something.
Good LORD I felt too tired to move.
I felt like accidentally on purpose giving my husband a kick and waking him up and making him take care of things. I looked at the clock. It was nearly 5am. I'd had about an hour of sleep. yay.
But if I woke up my husband he would just take forever to get on track with what the situation was and he'd probably take ten times longer to do what I, SUPER StepMOM, could do in about 5 minutes.
So with a sigh and a yawn I got painfully to my feet. I got Teddy into a bath and let him play for a while. Then I washed his hair and got him into the "Magic Kingdom" outfit! Sally was bound and determined to get picked to be in a parade and she figured if we all dressed alike we'd get picked! So I picked up some really inexpensive tees from the
Disney store. Of course Teddy's was so huge it fit me...loosely...even though it was a child's size small. But the kids were thrilled to have matching shirts. So I put Teddy into his Disney dress and tucked it into his shorts and he was good to go.
I was in desperate need of some Diet Coke...yet the queasy feeling was rolling around in my tummy and I couldn't decide if I needed something bubbly or if that would make it worse. Oh the dilemmas of life! The pounding headache won out and I cracked a Diet Coke. It was still early and I was itchy to move. If people are sleeping around me and I'm not sleeping I am overcome by an overwhelming desire to start singing "Oh What a BEAUTIFUL MORNIN"...loudly...and since I'm trying to be a nice wife...during vacation...*ahem*... I decided that Teddy and I would go for an "explore" around the Wilderness Lodge.
This place is a amazing. Truly. If you've never been to the Wilderness Lodge, I suggest planning a trip over! It is abundant with darling little details. You'll find fireplaces in unexpected places and outdoor overlooks. There are places to sit and write a letter if you feel called to do so...cozy log cabin details everywhere you look. Teddy was quiet as he held my hand and looked upward toward the ceiling. It was still early, even for Teddy. His natural exuberance hadn't quite kicked in yet. We stopped at the big fireplace and had a seat in one of the rocking chairs. Teddy hopped into my lap and we rocked a while. It was quiet all around us. There was no shouting from Whispering Canyon Cafe, no over tired children wailing their way through the lobby, no slap pat slap pat from the hundreds of flip flops that pass through the lodge each day. It was just quiet. The fire was cozy and it was heaven.
We sat there for a good 20 minutes. Exhaustion still had a grip on us and within five minutes of rocking, Teddy was fast asleep. I may have fallen asleep...well...more resting my eyes...heavily...even though it's not like me to fall asleep in public places...although I've heard tell that the Wilderness Lodge has that effect on people! What "woke" me was a little flash of light. When I opened my eyes there was a woman standing there TAKING A PICTURE of Teddy and me. I must have been staring rather stupidly b/c she said "You just look so DARLING together". I half smiled at her and couldn't decide if it was totally weird that a stranger had taken a picture of us sleeping...or if it was my fault for falling asleep there in the first place.
Anyhow, she was pleasant enough...wished us a nice day and headed off.
Teddy opened his little eyes shortly after that. He looked at me and said "MissCammie...isn't this SO relaxing?"
I smiled at him and said "Excuse me little boy...do I know you? Did you crawl into my lap when I wasn't looking? Did you escape from the monkey exhibit at Animal Kingdom?"
Teddy gave me his most exasperated look and said
"MissCammie, I'm your SON!"
and how! (for those of you who may be aghast that I would allow Teddy to say that without correcting him...he's five. He doesn't quite have the complexities of the "step family" down. He knows who is mother is. He knows who I am...so relax.
)
Our little nap over we walked around a bit more. We found an outdoor patio and went to look "over the edge"...which means we got about a foot from the rail and "looked far with our EYES, NOT our bodies"...while I held on tightly to both his arms...That jumping thing was a little too fresh in my mind to let him get any closer.
As 7am drew ever closer, we headed back to our room. Both Daddy and Sally were still sound asleep. Not moving...dead to the world.
Teddy asked me very sweetly if I perhaps wanted him to "wake up daddy". Which meant he wanted very much to jump on the bed.
"Sure buddy...just don't jump ON daddy".
He flung his little five year old self onto the bed and started to sing "Yellow Submarine" as loud as he could. (The kids love The Beatles. And Queen. Rock music in general...very cool kids Sally and Teddy!)
The singing and the jumping had very little effect. Both Daddy and Sally were out...
Then the phone rang. I TOTALLY forgot about Mickey waking us up. So I hit the speaker button. Then I heard my friend Mickey and his sweet mouse voice...who was then interrupted by Stitch. "GET MOVING!!! NO SLEEPING!!!"
Teddy found this uproariously funny.
"MissCammie, did you HEAR Stitch?! What a riot!!"
WHERE DOES HE GET THESE PHRASES?! He's FIVE!
Sally was NOT amused. A very GROUCHY sounding grumble came from the top bunk...
"TEDDY...STOP SHOUTING...you are so annoying..."
I hated to eyebrow her this early in the morning but that wasn't very kind...no matter how true she believes it to be!
"Excuse me Miss MerrySunshine, can we try that one again?"
*SIGH* "Teddy...please use your indoor voice. Because you give me a giant headache when you SHOUT and it makes me feel MAD at you."
MUCH BETTER!
"Nice job using your feeling words Sal!!"
I SWEAR I heard her say under her breath "He is STILL annoying".
After that we got into the Disney groove. I felt pretty good considering. The caffeine had kicked in and the queasy had stopped for now. Jay seemed to be in good shape. Sally reminded us that we all had to look "like a family and smile" so we would get PICKED to be in a parade.
We packed up our bags and headed out into the steamy Disney morning!
Magic Kingdom HERE WE COME!!!
When we got to the dock, the Magic Kingdom boat was just taking off. DRAT! BUT the Contemporary boat had just pulled up! SCORE!! I reasoned that we could take the boat to the Contemporary and then walk to the Magic Kingdom. Which is exactly what we did!
I tried to take some pics but the whole "air conditioned camera lense + steamy outside air= fogged camera lense" thing was going on. But I tried!
I did not know that one had to cross a busy-ish Disney highway thingie to get to the Magic Kingdom from the Contemporary. I noted to myself that next time we'll just take the monorail.
But the kids enjoyed running through the early morning sprinklers in the "fat grass". Super Sensitive Nose Sally commented on the "yucky smelling" plants that were causing MissCammie to gag. Doesn't take much!
It was a fun walk. Jason hoisted Teddy up on to his shoulders for part of the walk and then Sally got a turn. Sally is a solid little girl. By solid I mean HEAVY. Skinny...but heavy. Sort of like Stitch! So the ride on Daddy's shoulders didn't last long. Poor daddy was one tuckered cowboy!
But we made it to Magic Kingdom.
Sally was just as impressed with Cindy's Castle by day as she had been by evening light. She wanted to know if Cindy and Charming got to have breakfast in bed...probably since they were the bosses of their ownselves...and did they eat waffles or eggs? We decided that Cindy was probably a waffles with whip cream girl...just like Sally was! I snapped a pic as we waited for Daddy and the Kid Transporter. Sally wondered if Daddy was taking so long b/c he was waiting for the KT to go through the special super cleaning wash...
*ahem*
probably...
here's the Castle!
The park wasn't totally empty, but it's still a good picture.
Jay arrived with the meticulously clean kid transporter.
Teddy clambered in with no hesitation. Sally however, gave it a critical look and decided she'd walk. She's most fussy about "germs" in the morning. We walked down Main Street, breathing in that Disney air and feeling good.
"MissCammie are we going to eat breakfast now?!"
"We sure are Teddy. In two shakes of a lamb's tail!"
"MissCammie I'm going to eat PAMCAKES!!!"
I laughed. I love it that Teddy says PAMcakes. We've tried to explain that it's PANcakes, and he'll nod and say "Pamcakes...that's what I said..."
It's one of those darling things that is so purely Teddy. I have video taped him talking about how much he LOVES Pamcakes, just so I will have a record of it...so I can watch it when he's grown too big to say things the "wrong" way...and I can torture him with it by showing it to girlfriends on Prom night!
We arrived to a throng of people waiting outside. Sally gave a big sigh and said "Are we AFTER all these people MissCammie?"
Oh no...dear child...I have PLANNED this trip down to the last second. I have made my ADR's like a good Dis'er. As opposed to the very disgruntled woman in front of us at the check in window saying,
"Well I thought since my SISTER had a reservation for her family that you people could SQUEEZE us in with her. There are only five of us. Can't you push a table together?! Where is the customer SERVICE for crying OUT LOUD?!"
Obviously this woman does not Dis. At all. And she isn't very polite. And since when does "only" apply to a group of five?! That is a lot of people lady!
She FINALLY stomped away in a very unfriendly manner, loudly yelling to her sister that "The @#&?! place can't seat us. This is RIDICULOUS! Let's just LEAVE!"
Yes...please do.
I gave the still smiling, if slightly harrassed looking CM at the window our name...well my name...which I will change to Jay's name...eventually...
*ahem*
She handed me a pager and we settled down to wait. Not for long thankfully!
Our pager buzzed and we were led to our table. We gave our drink orders to a very friendly woman called Patty.
Which brought about the first pouty face of the day.
Teddy announced that he wanted Chocolate Milk.
Not an unusual request in most cases. But Teddy is lactose intolerant. Drinking milk results in a 30 minute bathroom trip...in which he goes the WHOLE TIME. *sorry, gross..but I am making a point* And what is a trip report without a poo story here and there? The point being that Teddy does not weigh enough to lose a ton of fluid at breakfast and then head out into the steamy, dehydrating Florida atmosphere where he will sweat out any remaining fluid...no matter how quickly we try to pump it back in. He is just too prone to dehydration and hospital visits are required to RE-hydrate. And THAT would break a rule...no getting sick at Disney.
Anyhow...when Jay and I said "nope" together, Teddy brought out the pouty lip. Eyes grew to the size of quarters...rapid blinking began.
"Mommy lets me drink chocolate milk" *sniffle*
Jay doesn't take too kindly to this sort of defense. Both kids know better than to play the "mommy" card. It further annoys Jay that his son is allowed to drink milk when his body obviously does NOT respond well to it and doctors have said that Teddy should avoid milk...based on the fact that he's had to go to the hospital TWICE after a milk induced bout of dehydration...but since he "wants it", it makes sense that he should get it...regardless of how sick it makes him...
Anyhow, Jay brought out the "Serious Father" voice. He basically told Teddy to suck it up, put the lip away and dry the tears or he would be taken back to the room and put back to bed.
Because Daddy doesn't play either.
And then Sally had to add:
"And there is NO crying at Disney Teddy".
SO THERE!
The great thing about Teddy is that he doesn't pout for very long. Once he realizes there is no option to argue, he gives up and moves on. Smart boy our Teddy!
Who wants PAMCAKES?!
Well they were more Poohbear Waffles...but they worked!
Breakfast was good. I made a plate for Sally with eggs and breakfast pizza and Fried french Toat. YUM. She ate some eggs...and a bit of the Poohbear waffle...
Teddy attempted to eat his weight in honeydew melon and watermelon. He loves melon. It doesn't upset his tummy either. Which is good!
But the fun really started when Eyeore arrived!!!
see how HUGE that t-shirt is on Teddy?! HUGE!!
The kids aren't nearly as in to Pooh Bear as I am...I love me some PoohBear and Piglet. That Pooh stories kill me every time. There are just so many touching lines...
like Piglet taking Pooh's paw, just b/c he wanted to be sure of him...
Kills me.
Sally felt it her duty to tell Pooh and Piglet how much I loved them when they arrived at our table. She was enormously pleased when both responded by "kissing" my nose!!
For some reason Tigger never made it to our table. He was almost to us when the "parade" around the restaurant started. Sally was not terribly impressed. She joined in, but announced that it was sort of "babyish" when she got back to the table. Teddy just liked marching around with his flag. But after the parade Tigger went to "powder his nose" and he never came back...perhaps he is lactose intolerant too!
We were all ready to shake a tail feather after the parade. The kids had gotten their signatures...except Tigger...and didn't seem too worried about it either way. So we headed out.
I snapped this on the way...just b/c it's not Crystal Palace without Tigger...in one form or another!!!
Next up: Grouchy when wet Part II
Kids are VERY honest little creatures. We just have to teach the nuances of social appropriateness and keeping judgments about others to ourselves...which proves to be VERY tricky!
So I HAD to read it. And now I'm going to bed even later. Oh well. My DH is driving anyway.
