I really think this is funny, I nicked this from the DIS UK Community board.
(For the men only) Why women should never take men shopping
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Here's what can happen when you insist on taking your husband/boyfriend with you when you go shopping. So boys remind your other half of the dangers
Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that he go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets bored with all the shopping, and does things that, having read the list, I now HAVE TO DO next time I'm in one of these places.
He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse.
Here's a letter sent to her from the store.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.
Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares. and watched what happened.
5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.
11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the"Mission Impossible" theme .
12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
And last, but not least
15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
. Bailey's almost 2-1/2 and from a breeder in Cleveland. Her sibs get shown all over. I wasn't really excited about the dog thing going in and never had heard of Bearded Collies prior, but we did some serious research on choosing a dog (for dummies) and the breed seemed a perfect match. It's been so enjoyable that we adopted Morgan who is 2 years old. My wife's favorite quote "Beardies are like peanuts, you can't have just one."
