8/17/08 Captain Jack's Repossession Repo Cruise to PC thru TPC Part 13

[allshookup]

Happy Birthday Amy / DW jonesing!!!

 

[darthrugby]

MR,
I need to talk to you about your pirate flag. Black background, Silhouette of blender in white, large initials MR next to blender. Do you want a skull on it? Tell me what you think.

Pete

 

[darthrugby]

MR,
I forgot the shamrock, I also know how to do Celtic Knotwork. Let me design your flag for you. I'm thinking simple, not too busy but to the pint I mean point. ( I actually typed pint)

 

[darthrugby]

Hey Tom how do you do that??? I really like that!


Peter can you make this type of freak flag complete with blender and skeleton??? (Just kidding of course)

The thing is MR, I'm serious, you need your own flag!

 

[captaincrash]

I'm back (briefly)...

... I have the little one again (same every friday) and she wants to go swimming and the park. Not sure which we'll do - or if we'll do both. Plus I have turkey Joes simmerring. Tomorrow (or tonight) I'll be doing the red ciopinno and white clam sauce.... probably. OK... now my little one wants to th=ake our critter to the dog park. Looks like a busy afternoon once I finish my TJ lunch.

 

[Lil' Grumpy]

goodness graces!, no wonder your poor mr. V., she "gives" you
all kind of good reasons to spend your money...


mary rose, [that's a prefect name for you], and all the wenches,
come up with the cutest insights...that any "prince charming" would
wish for.....here iam, in the swabbies' class..senior range~
on top of that, & you still have me....



hooray for me!...i finally figured out how to order those wdw maps
for our dec. trip.....however, there's a terrible down side,
what can i come up now, for getting "lost" @ ARIEL'S getto?...

, did i ever mentioned my lil'miss has a suspicous nature...
maybe it's hormonal? is the a treatment for that? * my primary guess
behind the reason for most real s having only one eye.


was it just me?...seeing oneself @ the bottom of the pile, i never
knew sports could be so enjoyable...

well, i can dream, can't I?

 

[eeyorelvr10]

Might be fun to watch.....

How many PO'ed cabin mates does it take to hog-tie JR?

My wife will be there, so that shouldn't be a problem...

I guess they don't trust y'all to figure out which end of the handle goes into the car? Or are they too afraid you might light a cigarette and have blowtorch fights in the parking lot?

And with comments like that we'll have to jump in front of his wife JUST to get the OPPORTUNITY to hog-tie him before she does it. Course, we could all take turns in distracting her and appoint those with stronger ambitions to do the honors????? (OK - y'all - take turns lining up for the OPPORTUNITY - no fighting in line - we are all civilized adults! )

 

[jonesing]

Afternoon s!!

Happy Birthday to my DW Gabbie

Sweetie, I know you'd like to have Duff make your cake
(except that crappy Canon, of course)

but he wouldn't play ball and fly out here to do it, nor would he ship the cake
for me. Big meanie! So instead, you'll just have to trust me

​

Say folks, keep yer fingers and toes crossed! Every year, regardless of where she is, DW has had rain on her birthday--even if only for 20 minutes. So far there hasn't been a drop so maybe this is the year that breaks the record!!!

Oh yeah, Happy Hurricane Season everybody!

hmmmmmm DW's birthday is the same as the official opening of hurricane season...coincidence?

 

[yargrnhoj]

And with comments like that we'll have to jump in front of his wife JUST to get the OPPORTUNITY to hog-tie him before she does it. Course, we could all take turns in distracting her and appoint those with stronger ambitions to do the honors????? (OK - y'all - take turns lining up for the OPPORTUNITY - no fighting in line - we are all civilized adults! )

Ooh, boy, a line of lovely ladies (and um, err, Tom) waiting in line to tie me up....

 

[captaincrash]

At the risk of being permanently banned, and knowing there are some Harry Potter (or Star Wars by another name - according to JR) fans here...

Check this out

Well...

... I have a few passes for Universal Studios Orlando which we never use when we're there! Wonder why, eh? But now we will have an excuse for visiting thier park!

 

[yargrnhoj]

I don’t recall anyone referring to you as “genius”
NIWTLIVE is more like it!

I didn't say I was known around HERE as an evil genius. Just that I am KNOWN as one.

"What are we doing tonight?" "Same thing we do every night. Try to take over the world"

 

[yargrnhoj]

Well...

... I have a few passes for Universal Studios Orlando which we never use when we're there! Wonder why, eh? But now we will have an excuse for visiting thier park!

My ST vetoed us doing a quick trip to Orlando this year b/c he said if we went to FLA, we had to do Universal and that wasn't in the budget (mainly b/c we didn't want to rent a car). We need to get that boy back in the Disney spirit so I won't be telling him about this.

 

[eeyorelvr10]

Ooh, boy, a line of lovely ladies (and um, err, Tom) waiting in line to tie me up....

But who ever said it was ladies??? Just kidding -

 

[captaincrash]

So... my spouse just called me to say she just heard on the radio about how the FEDs shut down the California program which gives back unclaimed property to folks. IE, if you had a bank account or something which was deemed abondoned - and the holder could not find you - then they gave it to the state to manage. Well... Califonria has been running a program like many other states where you could search for your property and if you apply properly then you could recover it.

Well... the Feds apparently are threatening to (or have already) shut it down on account of California doing something inappropriate in how they manage the program.

As luck would have it - just YESTERDAY I sent my forms off to claim and collect some "property" of mine they were holding. Oh well... at least I know where it is - and when I figure out what they've done wrong manybe I'll be able to follow it to see when I might see to recovering my "property".

Anyone else hear about this? I searched google and the news radio home page (where my spouse heard the news break) and there was nothing on the web as yet. Hard to imagine, eh? More likely I am not running the right key words in the searches.

 

[captaincrash]

My ST vetoed us doing a quick trip to Orlando this year b/c he said if we went to FLA, we had to do Universal and that wasn't in the budget (mainly b/c we didn't want to rent a car). We need to get that boy back in the Disney spirit so I won't be telling him about this.

OK....​

 

[got2travel]

Afternoon s!!

​

Happy Birthday to my DW Gabbie​

​

​

Ok, I thought I was losing it, everyone kept posting a HB to Amy/DW jonesing, but I had remembered her introducing herself as Gabbie...thought I was going a little senial there for a minute


​

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GABBIE​

 

[captaincrash]

I didn't say I was known around HERE as an evil genius. Just that I am KNOWN as one.

"What are we doing tonight?" "Same thing we do every night. Try to take over the world"

If ya need any help in dominating the world ...

... let me know! I am happy to help.

I just want Austraila for myself...

just like Lex Luthor!​

 

[captaincrash]

Gabby....

Here's a little something fer your special day!

​

 

[captaincrash]

Well there be nothing wrong with being a Captain , nor a pirate the way I see it ...

Yo Ho ......and really bad eggs

Bad Eggs eh?​

 

[yargrnhoj]

I didn't say I was known around HERE as an evil genius. Just that I am KNOWN as one.

"What are we doing tonight?" "Same thing we do every night. Try to take over the world"

And for those wanting help in becoming an evil genius, here are some tips:

• Your ventilation ducts should be too small to crawl through.
  [*]Your noble half-brother whose throne you usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of your dungeon.
  [*]Shooting is not too good for your enemies.
  [*]The artifact which is the source of your power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in your safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is your one weakness.
  [*]Do not gloat over your enemies' predicament before killing them.
  [*]When you've captured your adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought, shoot him then say "No."
  [*]After you kidnap the beautiful princess, you should be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of your plan will be carried out.
  [*]Do not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it should not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" should instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch should not clearly be labelled as such.
  [*]Do not interrogate enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside your borders will work just as well.
  [*]Be secure in your superiority. Feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
  [*]One of your advisors should be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in your plan that she is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
  [*]All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
  [*]The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
  [*]Never employ any device with a digital countdown. If you find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
  [*]Never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
  [*]When you employ people as advisors, occasionally listen to their advice.
  [*]Do not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
  [*]Do not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
  [*]Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, do not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
  [*]Hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for your Legion of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and you want your troops to have a more positive mind-set.
  [*]No matter how tempted you are with the prospect of unlimited power, do not consume any energy field bigger than your head.
  [*]Keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train your troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize your power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- your troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
  [*]Maintain a realistic assessment of your strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least you will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
  [*]No matter how well it would perform, never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
  [*]No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill you. Therefore, think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to your bedchamber.
  [*]Never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
  [*]Your pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which you could not accidentally stumble.
  [*]Dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw your enemies into confusion.
  [*]All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. Your foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
  [*]All naive, busty tavern wenches in your realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
  [*]Do not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings you bad news just to illustrate how evil you really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
  [*]Don't require high-ranking female members of your organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
  [*]Do not turn into a snake. It never helps.
  [*]Do not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
  [*]Do not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, keep the only key to the cell door on your person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
  [*]If your trusted lieutenant tells you your Legion of Terror is losing a battle, believe him. After all, he's your trusted lieutenant.
  [*]If an enemy you have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards you in your old age.
  [*]If you absolutely must ride into battle, do not ride at the forefront of your Legion of Terror, nor should you seek out your opposite number among his army.
  [*]Be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If you have an unstoppable superweapon, use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
  [*]Once your power is secure, destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
  [*]When you capture the hero, make sure you also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
  [*]Maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when you capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to your power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if you just let her in on my plans.
  [*]Employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
  [*]Make sure you have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in your organization. For example, if your general screws up, do not draw your weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
  [*]If an advisor says "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", you should reply "This." and kill the advisor.
  [*]If you learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy you, slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
  [*]Treat any beast which you control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after you for revenge.
  [*]If you learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy you, do not send all your troops out to seize it. Instead send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
  [*]Your main computers should have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard PC and Macintosh notebooks.
  [*]If one of your dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
  [*]Hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine your castle and inform you of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that you might not know about.
  [*]If the beautiful princess that you capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", say "Oh well" and kill her.
  [*]Do not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because you feel like being contrary.
  [*]The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in your Legion of Terror. However before you send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
  [*]Your Legion of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Anyone who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
  [*]Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, carefully read the owner's manual.
  [*]If it becomes necessary to escape, never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
  [*]Never build a sentient computer smarter than you are.
  [*]Your five-year-old child advisor should also be asked to decipher any code you are thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
  [*]If your advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", do not proceed until you have a response that satisfies them.
  [*]Design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
  [*]Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
  [*]You should see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
  [*]If you must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of your complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.
  [*]Your security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.
  [*]No matter how many shorts you have in the system, your guards should be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
  [*]You should spare someone who saved your life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want you to spare them again, they'd better save your life again.
  [*]All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.
  [*]When your guards split up to search for intruders, they should always travel in groups of at least two. They should be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
  [*]If you decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.
  [*]If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt you, pull out a conventional weapon instead of using your unstoppable superweapon on them.
  [*]Do not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though your advisors assure you it is impossible for them to win.
  [*]If you create a multimedia presentation of your plan designed so that your five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, do not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of your desk.
  [*]Instruct your Legion of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.
  [*]If the hero runs up to your roof, do not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. Do not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
  [*]If you have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as your trusted lieutentant, retain enough sanity to wait until your current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.
  [*]Do not tell your Legion of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
  [*]If your doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.
  [*]If your weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, send out your best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to your fortress.
  [*]If you are fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind you and drops flat, you too should drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
  [*]Do not shoot at any of your enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
  [*]If you are eating dinner with the hero and put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, order new drinks for both of you instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
  [*]Do not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
  [*]Do not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."
  [*]Make sure your doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.
  [*]Your vats of hazardous chemicals should be covered when not in use. Also, do not construct walkways above them.
  [*]If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, do not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.
  [*]After you capture the hero's superweapon, do not immediately disband your Legion and relax your guard because you believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and you took it from him.
  [*]Do not design your Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
  [*]Do not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until your personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.
  [*]If you ever talk to the hero on the phone, do not taunt him. Instead say this his dogged perseverance has given you new insight on the futility of your evil ways and that if he leaves you alone for a few months of quiet contemplation you will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)
  [*]If you decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed you, execute the hero first.
  [*]When arresting prisoners, your guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.
  [*]Your dungeon should have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.
  [*]Your door mechanisms should be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.
  [*]Your dungeon cells should not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.
  [*]If an attractive young couple enters your realm, carefully monitor their activities. If you find they are happy and affectionate, ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, immediately order their execution.