7yr old still wets bed....HELP!

[happytexasmom]

My 7yr old still wets the bed not every night, sometimes he goes months without doing so. but thats not the worst part, he hides it from us by putting his wet clothes in a drawer. I recently found out that this was happening again because I was looking for his and my yougest sons(20months) swim trunks.
I dont what to do. We have tried to be very nice and tell him to please just let us know, we need to wash the sheets and his clothes so that the house will not smell. We have also tried being tough, grounding him for hiding the fact. We buy him pull ups, but he never wears them (and we often forget to ask him if he is wearing them)
Any advice please.....is this normal? what should I do about it?
Also, he is a super heavy sleeper. When we try to wake him at night to use the potty he is incoherent and can barely stand on his own even though he is in bed by 8:30pm on school nights

 

[ImTheMama]

My son was six when he stopped wearing pull ups to bed. He still sometimes will have an accident in the middle of the night but will not even wake up most times. I find it in the morning. The best thing that we have found is to limit what he drinks after 6pm or 7pm. Then always make sure that he goes to the bathroom before bed. Even if he says he does not have to we make him try anyway and most times he will go. He never has hid the fact that he has ahd an accident from us so I am not sure what to do about that. Maybe he is just embarrassed to tell you so maybe try having a special hamper that he can put his wet clothes in and then you can just check it. That way it is not smelling up the dresser and other clothes.

 

[mtemm]

my DS just turned 7 a few weeks ago and still wets the bed most nights. he does wear a nighttime pullup because honestly, I got tired of washing the sheets every single day a year or so ago and told him when it is dry the next day, he can stop wearing them. he wasn't happy about it at first, but grew to accept it. for several months we tried getting him up at around 10pm to pee to see if that helped, but it didn't make a difference.

anyway, we had his well child visit yesterday and his dr said it is not out of range for kids his age to still wet, that age/maturity should take care of the problem. he said we could try the alarm thing that others have recommended, that it can help train him out so we likely will give it a shot in the next few weeks. he did say there was a medication that he can give out for sleepovers/etc (not as a regular thing), but right now he's only ever comfortable with sleepovers at his grandmother's or his best friends house, both of whom know about his 'special undies' that help keep things dry so I'm not interested in going that route.

I don't know what I would do if he was hiding it. I suspect I would start checking in with him each and every morning to see if he wet/what state his clothes/sheets are in.

good luck and I hope it all works out for you soon!!!!

 

[NikitaZee]

Don't punish him. Make sure he is wearing his pull-up every night. We had this same issue with one of our kids, and our pediatrician told us that most times bedwetting resolves by age 10. There is medication available but we didn't have to go that route. Three things worked for us : no drinks before bedtime, bathroom right before bed, wake up once during night for bathroom. Most importantly - time. At 7 he may still need more time. Take it upon yourself to remind about the pull-ups, every night, and don't make him feel bad about having an accident. Good luck, hang in there!

 

[Hannathy]

Can't really help you with the wetting but IMO I would stop punishing the wet clothes. Even if you think you are punishing the lieing HE is still associating the punishment with the wetting the bed and making himself feel worse! He is only hiding them because HE is embarrassed and thinks he is disappointing you.

I like the idea of getting a hamper and telling him to put ALL things that need washed in there and you will wash them no questions asked and then do it. don't question the wet stuff.

Just because we know something isn't our fault doesn't mean we aren't embarrassed by it and really don't want to have to go shout it out to even our Mom which little kids do if they want clean clothes. Think about it if you have an accident or do something embarrassing can't you just wash it and be done or do you have to tell your DH or boss, etc. He is just in his 8 yr old mind trying to find some dignity. Poor thing. They don't think past the right now she won't know and then they put it out of their minds and truly forget about it, till you find it.

 

[happytexasmom]

You guys are so right. I do take some responsibility as far as not reminding him about his pull ups on a nightly basis.........but he does go so long between accidents that sometimes its hard to remember. But I am going to make more of an effort to remind him about it.


Thank you all so much, your post make me feel so much better to know that I am not alone.

 

[dyna]

I agree with PP. He is embaressed.

I was a bedwetter for years limiting drinks did not help I was not allowed anything to drink after supper an only small glass at supper an STILL would soak the bed. Waking me every 2 hrs druing night did not help etc.

My own oldest DD was a bedwetter many years now past 30 still occassionally wets the bed... What I did with her was about age 4 I started having her strip the bed an bring the wet things to the washer I washed dryed an helped her remake her bed. Each year after I helped a little less till she could also remake the bed herself.

Sounds like you need to make sure son is wearingpull up to bed an sneak in his room daily make sure there are no wet spots in the bed an if there uis check his room for wet clothing.

 

[Yankeemouse]

Like others have said, give it time. My daughter did the same until she was 8, and after the doctor checked her out and didn't find any problems, he told us the same thing...patience and no guilt. I think hearing it from the dr. helped her too, that she wasn't a weird kid, etc. It stopped not too long after that.

 

[tigger813]

Our DD6 still wets during the night. She wears pull-ups every night to be safe. She has always been a HEAVY sleeper! She is dry some nights and wet the other nights. We have tried everything. She can go 2 weeks of being dry and then is wet 3 nights in a row. I was told that if she doesn't stop by 8 we may need some other intervention. A friend of ours also had a daughter who wet until she was 7.

Definitely don't punish the child and help the child not be embarrassed by it.

We've tried getting her up to go when we go to bed but sometimes she wets within 2 hours of going to bed. And it doesn't matter when she stops drinking anything!

Good luck!

 

[almburr]

Our DS10 still has this problem He to was hiding the clothes. he was wearing Goodnight and completely soaked through those. He thought I would be mad. so here is my DS sleeping in wet bedding everynight. I felt so bad. He and I sat down and talked about it. I told him I was not mad that he wet the bed that is something that he cannot control. I was upset that he was sleeping in the wet bedding. So now he strips his bed when it happens, and his room nolonger smells. I looked at som web sites about the problem. I really doesnt matter if you cut off thier liquids at a certain time, it doesnt work that way. the bladded has not caught up growing with them. (I was an ocasional wetter as was my Dh) I read that he should do some certain excercises to help strenghten the bladder. It was been working for him. Yes there are still many nights that he wets but it is no longer a tidal wave.

The excersice is to 1 or 2 times a day while he is going to the bathroom he is to stop and start the urine stream. and another one was to push is out as hard as he could. It strengthens the bladder muscles. It has helped us. He uses the bathroom before bed also.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I don't see why waking him up to use the bathroom is a issue, I did it and my kids were fine. SO what he's groggy, most kids will fall back asleep immediately. Yes, seven is a bit old but he's not 16 either so I guess some room can be made where it's still in the realm of normal for now. I wouldn't stress over the fact it happens, I would stress that he's feeling ashamed though.

If this were my child I would present it during a private conversation that some people's bodies simply develop at different times so it's nothing to feel bad about but it's just not good for your skin to have an accident, and it's not sanitary for it to dry in your bed either so this is what we'll do about it until your body catches up with the big boy you are inside. Have a big drink at dinner but no big drinks within an hour of bedtime except for a few sips. Use the bathroom at bedtime no matter what. I will get you up to use the bathroom an hour or 2 after you fall asleep. We'll do this for a few months and then we'll try to stop and see what happens.

In general I think a parent-child team attitude for problems goes a whole lot further than anything else. I know every family is different and this is just my style but it didn't seem to hurt anyone so I'm sharing.

 

[NikitaZee]

We've tried getting her up to go when we go to bed but sometimes she wets within 2 hours of going to bed. And it doesn't matter when she stops drinking anything!

Good luck!

We found this to be the case with our child. The bedwetting (really pull-up wetting) almost always happened within 2 hours of going to bed. We usually had a dry night (but not always) if we made sure for a bathroom break before 11 pm. The real trick was just waiting it out - time was what it took in our case.

 

[grafxgirl]

My son is 4 years old and still has the occasional accident. He was having them nearly every night at one point, so we discovered a few things that worked. Make sure we limit how much he drinks after dinner, make sure he uses the bathroom at bedtime even if he doesn't feel like he has to because he usually does anyway, and I would wake him up a few hours later when I was ready to go to bed so he could go again. After waking him up around the same time every night for a few weeks, he started automatically doing it himself.

He used to toss his wet clothes in the dirty clothes basket in his closet and not tell me, then I would notice the smell and discover them. I explained to him that everybody has accidents every now and then and that he should let me know so I could wash his clothes. Now he lets me know on the occasions where he does wet the bed.

The other thing I did was instead of me having to wake up in the middle of the night or early in the morning to remove the wet sheets/blankets while he watched me do it, I insisted that he help me change the wet sheets/blankets (which is something he doesn't like to do).

 

[Pigeon]

My dd was 6 and wetting the bed almost every single night. She was getting bothered by it because she wanted to do sleepovers, but was too embarrassed.

We bought a Malem alarm, which cured the problem in a remarkably short time for a kid who almost never had a dry night before. Within two weeks, she was dry every night.

She wanted to know why we'd waited so long before buying the alarm.

 

[becauseisaid]

I would ditto the limiting drinks before bed, bathroom trip immediately before bed, and a bathroom break when YOU go to bed.

A tip that I used when my daughter was a toddler, was to "stack" the bed. I bought cheap tableclothes (the kind with felt on one side and vinyl on the other) at the Dollar store and cut them to size. I then made her bed with a tablecloth, fitted sheet, and then top sheet. I usually did 3 layers like this. That way, if there was an accident, all I had to do was whisk away the top layer of sheets and tablecloth and the bed was already made.

That convenience was worth its weight in gold at 4am.

 

[NikitaZee]

We also used a hospital pad, hardly ever had to change sheets. Just whisk it away and wash in the morning (we actually had 2). Big help.

 

[mefordis]

Some GREAT advice on this thread!

 

[Bonnie151]

We used the alarm as well when DS was 7 and it worked for us as well.

His doctor told us to limit drinks in the evening but to make sure he drank lots and lots during the day.

I'm going to disagree with some of the others who have suggested not punishing for hiding the wet clothes. DS would bury his wet pjs at the bottom of the family washbasket, making the whole thing stink to high heaven and it was a nightmare trying to get rid of the smell. We did punish him for doing that (no DS that weekend). At 7 he was old enough to understand that he was being punished for hiding the clothes, *not* for bedwetting. We didn't punish him the first couple of times that he did it, but the third (which came with punishment) was the last time it happened!

ETA: We were also told one we started using the alarm to stop using pull ups.

 

[rainy~daze]

when my sister was younger she had a huge problem with bedwetting....her pediatrician told my mom to give her a glass of cranberry juice everday. It helps flush things better so her bladder was emptying fully.
After a few days of cranberry juice, no more problems.

 

[NAB]

My son was 11 when he stopped wearing the good nights. You need to go up a size if they start wetting though those.

The Ped. said this is normal and no waking them up to go when you go to bed is going to help. His bladder is just not matured as fast. Heck he said there is 1% that will always have this problem. Glad we were not that 1 %.

I did find that at 11 I found his Goodnight to be warm in the morining so I know he was going then and too lazy to get up or was just used to having the back up. That was a learning curve for him, it was like training him all over again I think it took a week before we didn't have a wet bed with out a pull up on him.

Pull ups are not Goodnight diapers either so don't be confused. They won't hold as much.