...........................................

[C.Ann]

 

[FroggyinArk]

C.Ann, no need to appologize we are all thinking of you and yours. As for the oxycodone, the drs sent me home with those after one of my surgeries, they were totally,, ineffective. i was not able to sleep at all while on them, and they really didnt help the pain much either.

The "morbid" I honestly think it would be a good idea, as long as the kids are willing to go along for moral support at the least.

 

[Regina]

All of the drugs that you mentioned were used during my Mom's Hospice care.

I hope that Hospice will be taking over. Their goal is to keep the patient comfortable and pain free. My Mom's dosage changed frequently depending on her symptoms.

My Mom had preplanned her funeral several years before she passed. It made that part of the process easier, but do what you're comfortable with. It sounds like you'd rather spend this time by his side, and that's fine.

I'm very sorry that you're going through this.

 

[CookieGVB]

You shouldn't have to put yourself through any more running around right now. I wouldn't worry about funeral arrangements just now. Take some time for YOURSELF, and that time will come when it comes. No need to rush.

Hopefully, one of the many nurses we have on the DIS will be able to answer your question about medication...or maybe you can do a google search?

You are SO strong - I can't even imagine holding it together, and going through what you are experiencing. God bless.

 

[aprilgail2]

I only have experience with one of the questions so I will answer that one.....when Matthew was dying in the hospital I contacted a funeral home on a Saturday afternoon and made an appointment for us to go set things up with them on a Monday, well Matt died on Sunday night so we had to go down there and do it after he died and I think it was tougher to do it that way. The good thing that did come out of contacting the funeral home in advance was (even though we didn't get to arrange the whole funeral) was that we arranged with them for immediate pick up so Matt would not have to go into the hospital morgue-my friend works in the hospital and said no way in heck would she want Matt to be put in there so as soon as he died the funeral home was contacted and they came right to the room where he died and took him from there, even though it was like 2am.
To sum up my rantings.....go if you think you are up to it in advance, at least you will have piece of mind that all that is taken care of.

 

[mudnuri]

I can't offer much...other than the oxycodone they thought would help my dad was turned into morphine injections within 6 hours....He was home with hospice- at the time, but the oxycodone didnt touch his pain...The morphine injections did. We started the injections 32 hours before my dad passed away. I was the one that gave him the injections- and the orders from the doc were "as needed"...when he complained of pain- I gave him another injection....at the point he was at, there was no worry of an overdose...


Also- my dad had his funeral all planned out- had he not, I would probably have taken the advice you were given...if I could ....You might be able to go while your DH is in the hospital- as i know when he gets home your his 24/7 caregiver, harder to get out...

C.Ann- please know- I am so sorry to hear what is happening with your DH and I wish you and your family the strength to get through it...I tell ya- i dont have the patience you have- I'd have laid someone out by now!

Brandy

 

[grinningghost]

I'm not glad you're having to make such tough decisions, but I am glad to hear from you - there's no hour that's too late to be on the DIS.

I also hope that hospice will take over and help with the medications. The last thing you need right now is to worry about dosage schedules and side effects - you have more than enough on your plate.

I don't think talking with a funeral director is morbid. If you're going to have to do it anyway, doing it in the least painful way is in your best interests. Do make sure to bring along a support person though.

I wish you well Ann. You are one courageous lady.

 

[C.Ann]

C.Ann, no need to appologize we are all thinking of you and yours. As for the oxycodone, the drs sent me home with those after one of my surgeries, they were totally,, ineffective. i was not able to sleep at all while on them, and they really didnt help the pain much either.

-------------------------------

 

[Growin'upDisney]

C.Ann - I am not sure about the medicines.

As for the funeral home question. Are you mentally prepared for his passing? Do you think you will break down and not be able to function and make the decisions after? Isn't your daughter going to be with you?

If you are superstitious - then don't do it now. You may never forgive yourself. Even though he is already slipping away from this awful disease - you don't want any added issues weighing on your mind.

Go with your heart. It's the best anyone can tell you. This is not easy. I would think making the decisions before he's "gone" wouldn't help. You'll still grieve after and making the final decision may help that process.

I hope you feel how much the DIS is thinking about you and your family.

 

[SplshMtn99]

I think pre-planning is a good idea. You are less apt to be talked into an expense before hand....rather than when you are too emotional to be able to make a good decision.

My grandfather had pre-planned...and my mother was so glad. It made it so much easier for her to handle when the time came.

Good luck with everything. I've been thinking of you.

 

[Beth76]

My eldest stepddaughter has suggested that I go talk to the people at the funeral home now - rather than when I am very emotional right after the death of my DH - be that very soon or not.. I have to admit, I'm a little superstitious about that kind of thing.. I have a feeling that if I go and do it, then within a couple of hours he will be gone..I know that sounds crazy - because that's just what I'm fighting for - for him to be "allowed" to go but.... Well, maybe some of you can figure out what I'm talking about..
I need to discuss cremation and it just makes me physically ill to think about it.. Should I go now - or wait?
(

C.Ann, I'm so sorry for what you and your husband have been going through. I'm not even sure what to say about. But, I will say, if you are not comfortable going to the funeral home now, then you shouldn't. I've been reading your posts and updates and I wonder if you will be better emotionally, "afterward" (I'm sorry, I'm not sure what the proper wording should be). Perhaps you will be more at peace then you are right now. I don't think I would be capable of making "arrangements" while the person is still alive. But, that is a completely personal choice. I hope everything turns out for the best very soon.

 

[ckret01]

I won't be able to get solid information on oxycodone until tomorrow because my brother in law is away on a business trip. My brother in law does drug research for a big pharacuetical company and knows these drugs inside and out. I remeber when my father was in the hospital with a brain abcsess and bacterial meningitis they wanted to give him oxycodone but my brother in law did not want him too soley on the reason that it is known to be a very addictive drug. As far as the comparrison between the two I will find out and get back to you or hopefully someone here will be along to answer that. Sorry I couldn't help more.
My heart goes out to you!

 

[Immelman]

as far as I am aware, there is nothing as strong of a narcotic pain reliever as liquid morphine. oxycodone and hydrocodone are weaker derivitives of morphine. I wish you all the best, I don't even know what else to say.

 

[Pooh67_68]

 

[lsyorke]

Oxycodone is a good drug, but liquid morphine will be needed for breakthrough pain. The liquid morphine is a VERY effective pain management drug!! It's used by most Hospice's that I know. Morphine is also available in suppository form if needed. Stopping the Ativan is not a good idea!! Anxiety/breathing problems go hand in hand and to think that he can just stop the Ativan is absolutely absurd! Ann, are you taking him home on hospice? Hospice nurses are sooo much better than hospital based nurses for pain management. I hope that you can get hospice involved and take him home.

 

[Margie J]

The advice I can give you regarding the funeral - At the very least get some paperwork and biographical info in order. That includes SS#, birth date and City, employment, Military and education history, family relations, etc. Funeral homes need this for obits and certificates. It may be easier for you &/or a family member to do this now instead of when the time comes.

It's tough but I wish you the best as you get through this time.

 

[bsnyder]

My prayers continue to be with you, C. Ann.

-------------------------------

This is exactly what I was afraid of because they are SO adamant about not wanting to treat his pain in a "humane" way..

The really frustrating part is that the Hospice people have told us that they will have to get their medication "orders" from the primary doctor my DH sees at the VA and we all know what that means, right?

What am I going to do??

I always thought Hospice provided medications for the patient. Is there perhaps more than one, that you would have access to where you live? If so, I'd check and see if you can find one that works differently.

 

[lsyorke]

-------------------------------

This is exactly what I was afraid of because they are SO adamant about not wanting to treat his pain in a "humane" way..

The really frustrating part is that the Hospice people have told us that they will have to get their medication "orders" from the primary doctor my DH sees at the VA and we all know what that means, right?

What am I going to do??

Ann, Hospice nurses are MUCH more persuasive than a family member!! Doctors respond completely different regarding medications once a patient is home on Hospice.

 

[Sparx]

Q1. No earthly idea...

Q2. If you are emotionally ready NOW to accept that he isn't gonna make it... It is your choice. You are one of the lucky ones, you get to say goodbye...

 

[SeaSpray]

Regarding the medication: There may/will come a point where your DH will be unable to swallow pills. My mother was already at that point by the time hospice was involved, so we were given morphere DROPS that we simply put into her mouth. Maybe under her tongue, I don't exactly remember right now. (You'd think I'd remember, I was the one who was giving her the drops).

I agree with others who say that oxycodone isn't really all that strong, in comparison with morphene.

Like someone else said, Hospice should be giving you a kit, a box, that will contain all kinds of medication for your DH. They give you this kit to take home and use at home, and you administer the medication yourself. Again, like someone else said, at this point, there's no fear of an overdose. (edited to add, I think the kit was delivered shortly after we got my mother home from the hospital).

Now regarding the funeral arrangements. Please don't feel supersticious. Nothing you do, regarding talking to a funeral parlor, will cause your DH any discomfort or to pass away any sooner than he would've anyway. Maybe just give them a call, let them know you may need their services at some point in the future. They are usually EXTREMELY sensitive and easy to talk to. They will probably ask you for basic info, and you can take it from there, depending on your comfort level. I think by at least contacting the funeral parlor and just having a talk with them, you'll have one less thing in the back of your mind.

SO many of us here are here for you, in as much as we possibly can. I am awake, if you want to talk. I know we don't "know" each other, but I just went through this with my mother a little over a year ago. *hugs* to all of you.