...........................................

[Microcell]

Ann, Hospice nurses are MUCH more persuasive than a family member!! Doctors respond completely different regarding medications once a patient is home on Hospice.

I was thinking that too! I worked with aggressive nurses who went with me and the people we served to the psychiatrist and medical docs and one in particular would say "Here are the symptoms, here is what we have been doing and here is what we are going to do... Now I need you to write a prescription for this drug ..." She was cool!!! They always did it too.

Humane is just another word for least intrusive, and people have their noses out of joint about it so much that they error on the side of stupidity!

 

[twinmomplus2new]

I am not sure of the equivalancy of Oxy VS a morphine injection. I do know that when my Aunt was at end stage of bladder cancer, she was initially on oxys then when hospice was in charge she was on liquid morphine. Given by mouth.
Same thing lady next store she started with pills, and then moved to hospice administering morphine. ( By mouth)

My grandfather had what they call a cluster of strokes he was in house at the time. He was administerd morhine injections actually a morphine drip. and they gradually increased the dose until he simply went to sleep. I hesitated posting this because somtimes people have issues with this. I admit when it was disscussed within the family I was not happy myself. Bottem line was it was what he wanted, He had no hope or even expectation of quality of life. It was a very humane way to ease his suffering which is supposed to be what it is about at that stage. If you are successful in getting him the morphine it will be very drying. Make sure you have some type of like peppermint candy to soothe his mouth and vaseline for his lips. It may sound silly. But, at the end when his lips were so dry, he would smile when we helped out the dryness in his mouth. Even though they are asleep. They still know. As long as you are all there with him helping him along, he will be at peace and so will you. feel free to PM me if you have any more specific questions. Hugs to you Keep fighting. You are his best advocate.

 

[disneysteve]

Hi C.Ann. My thoughts are with you.

Regarding the Oxycontin, it is a perfectly good pain med as long as it is dosed generously. The good thing about Oxy as opposed to something like Percocet is that Oxy has no maximum dose. While the average person who has pain might be prescribed 20mg twice a day, someone with terminal disease could be on 160mg or 320mg or more twice a day. So I'd have no problem using that as the baseline pain med.

I would also agree that liquid morphine is great for breakthrough pain. Also, if the situation arises that your DH is unable to take a pill or capsule, you will need either injectable or suppository forms of pain meds.

Regarding funeral plans, I think, if you are okay doing it, that planning in advance is a great idea for all the reasons others have already mentioned.

Finally, I'd like to suggest something that I know many of you will feel is quite morbid but such is life. Funeral homes charge an outrageous markup on caskets. This is a huge profit maker for them. FTC laws require all funeral homes to accept caskets you purchase elsewhere with no added fees. There are numerous companies that sell caskets online at phenomenally lower prices than your local funeral home, sometimes 50-70% lower. A few points and clicks and you can quickly save a thousand dollars at a time when I'm sure money is a concern.

Some sights to visit:
http://www.abettercasket.com/index.htm
http://www.funeraldepot.com/index.htm
http://www.tributedirect.com/
http://www.costco.com/Common/CategoryMain.aspx?cat=20595 - yes, Costco sells caskets

Best wishes C.Ann.

 

[C.Ann]

Finally, I'd like to suggest something that I know many of you will feel is quite morbid but such is life. Funeral homes charge an outrageous markup on caskets. This is a huge profit maker for them. FTC laws require all funeral homes to accept caskets you purchase elsewhere with no added fees. There are numerous companies that sell caskets online at phenomenally lower prices than your local funeral home, sometimes 50-70% lower. A few points and clicks and you can quickly save a thousand dollars at a time when I'm sure money is a concern.

Some sights to visit:
http://www.abettercasket.com/index.htm
http://www.funeraldepot.com/index.htm
http://www.tributedirect.com/
http://www.costco.com/Common/CategoryMain.aspx?cat=20595 - yes, Costco sells caskets

Best wishes C.Ann.

---------------------------------------

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

My sister passed away last weekend using Hospice care. She had ativan tablets for anxiety that could dissolve in mouth and liquid morphine for air hunger (end of life breathing) plus other meds injected. Besides Hospice she had a best friend nurse who was familiar with end of life care.

As for the funeral arrangements, she was a member of Seattle Friends Memorial that arrranges for discount cremation services. So it was $600 instead of $2000. The list of fees was 125- pickup of body,175- services of funeral director, 40-plastic urn etc.
Cremation allows for services and interment when family can gather together.
Seattle Peoples Memorial is one of a bunch of "Funeral Planning Societies" that were formed in response to large funeral costs. The website for the Funeral Consumers Alliance is www.funerals.org. Some people may still want a large $10,00 funeral with embalming and viewing while others want low key, low cost. What does your husband want? And can it be afforded?

Good Luck and hugs,

 

[peacefulgirl]

Ann,

I dont know if I can help, but my MIL is a RN and deals with this a lot. I dont know what state your in, we are in MA, if you have any ? you want me to ask her for you, she will be here in a bit and I can try and help.

Also, maybe if you cant get yourself to go to the funeral home now, maybe if you write down now, what you want for plans, maybe that'll help. At least you'll have some idea of what you want. just a thought....

 

[DoeWDW]

for you, dear C. Ann.

You are one of the bravest, strongest women I have ever encountered. I hope that today is a good day, as free of stresses & hassles as it can be at this time.

Keeping you and your DH in my prayers.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Can anyone tell me if oxycodone (1 tablet every 12 hours) would be equivalent to the original morphine that my DH was getting every 2 hours the night before last?

Oxycodone every 12 hours won't help, it's usually given every 4 hours. If you mean oxycontin, that is longer acting and usually given every 12 hours. You may need to adjust the dosage or supplement with something else too to get pain relief. And now is not the time to discontinue his ativan, he should have it if he's been taking it all along. Hospice will guide you.

I don't work in hospice but please know if there's anything I can help you with I'd be happy to try. It's tragic this has gone so horridly for you, it shouldn't have to be like this. I hope this next step will bring you some peace.

 

[C.Ann]

My sister passed away last weekend using Hospice care. She had ativan tablets for anxiety that could dissolve in mouth and liquid morphine for air hunger (end of life breathing) plus other meds injected. Besides Hospice she had a best friend nurse who was familiar with end of life care.

As for the funeral arrangements, she was a member of Seattle Friends Memorial that arrranges for discount cremation services. So it was $600 instead of $2000. The list of fees was 125- pickup of body,175- services of funeral director, 40-plastic urn etc.
Cremation allows for services and interment when family can gather together.
Seattle Peoples Memorial is one of a bunch of "Funeral Planning Societies" that were formed in response to large funeral costs. The website for the Funeral Consumers Alliance is www.funerals.org. Some people may still want a large $10,00 funeral with embalming and viewing while others want low key, low cost. What does your husband want? And can it be afforded?

Good Luck and hugs,

-----------------------------------------

 

[TLinden16]

Hope your hanging in there, C.Ann.

Lots of folks go to the funeral home to make plans when they know the end is near. My family called the funeral home to start making arrangements for my mom when the doctors told us she would be gone within 24 hours.

Karen

 

[Pamlur]

C. Ann, you can continue to get his SS check as survivor. They have told you this, right?

I've been following your trials, and I think of you a lot.

 

[Blondy876]

C. Ann your strength amazes me. I can hear in your posts how much you love your dh and I am so sorry that he is not being allowed to pass peacefully. I have no advice, just a shoulder to lean on. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

 

[C.Ann]

C. Ann, you can continue to get his SS check as survivor. They have told you this, right?

--------------------------------------------

No, I cannot continue to get his SS checks as a surviving widow - until I'm 60.. My DH is 15 years older than I am, so at 55 I don't qualify..

 

[Serena]

I'm sorry C.Ann. I sure wish there were something we could do to make all this easier.

 

[denisenh]

C. Ann I have read through this whole thread to see if there is any info that I can offer you in addition to what has been left. Lots of hearts and brains at work for you!!!!
In my experience, pain control is generally something that is taken very seriously by medical people. Letting someone be in pain and not tending to it is inhumane to say the least. That goes for anxiety as well. I think that most of us want to be pain free and off the ceiling.
Your husband does not have to be at deaths door in order for his pain issues to be addressed. Chronic pain is a source of depression and people need to realize that help is available. This goes for people that will live many more years, btw.
It sounds like that is being addressed finally, so that is great. There seems to be conflicting posts on which drug, the dose and frequency, etc., but there are so many forms of drugs and types of drugs, not to mention that each person responds differently to drugs, sometimes pain control is achieved by trial and error.
(Keep in mind that your DH may need to increase fiber and liquid intake in order to keep from becoming constipated, another source of discomfort, if he is on narcotic medications. At least be aware that he is "going" or not.)
Someone mentioned a dry mouth. There are interventions to keep that from being a big problem. They vary depending on the individuals level of alertness, but there is no need for someone suffering from that, in the majority of cases.
I do not know a lot of the details of your husbands illness but these are a few guidelines anyway.
It sounds like you are doing just about everything exactly the way that most people do.
Hang in there and keep informed. I don't know you but after reading some of your posts, I care, as do so many others here!

 

[T16GEM]

C.Ann don't apoligise. We are all here for you and are just sorry that you are having to all go through such a terrible time.

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

As people have already said oxycodone SUCKS!!! I got it after my gallbladder surgery and basically didn't take it because it did nothing.

I just wanted to post lots and lots of hugs and prayers for you and your family.

 

[DMRick]

One thing I wanted to mention, since several have told C.Ann to call Hospice and they will get a start with her. She has called them and although I know they have done weekend admissions in our area, they are not going to be able to help her until after the long weekend. I don't know if it's because her hubby is hospitalized, if they are short staffed, if they are waiting for something from the doctor, or what, but believe me, she has been constant in her quest for help, and has left no stone unturned.

 

[Jcricket Fan]

CAnn,
I'm doing some research for you right now....here is a web site to look at that helps Veterans with funeral expenses.

http://veteranssociety.com/

They list a phone # and it looks like they provide services nationwide.
I will let you know when I come up with some other sites.

Peace to you,
Colleen

 

[disney4us2002]

I lost my mother to ovarian cancer. By the end she was pretty much comatose and never really 'woke up' but she would moan in pain. Her doctor prescribed morphine patches and they helped a lot. Hospice was involved and they would change the patches. I'm guessing they are on the list of watched drugs because my father was only able to get three or four at a time which was a pain to keep running to the drugstore.

My mother was a type A personality and she actually planned most of her funeral. It was a big help to my dad who was a mess and in denial about her impending death. I would definitely advise planning the visit beforehand if you can.