Orlandodreaming
Earning My Ears
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2017
- Messages
- 18
Hello,
Thank you in advance for any advice/suggestions/opinions. First, I should say I use to have a username on the boards but it's been a long time and I cannot find my old account information. However, I don't want anyone to think I'm trolling.
I have a 6 year old son who was recently diagnosed with ADHD/ODD and SPD (awaiting confirmation from the neurologist, but he "checks off most of the boxes" so to speak). As part of that SPD, he's always had bathroom issues. He didn't potty train until he was 2 months past his 5th birthday, and I use the term loosely, because he still struggles with pooping, has never once been dry at night, and usually doesn't feel that he has to go until the need is extremely urgent, and he literally has seconds to rush to the bathroom. If he gets hyper-focused on something, he will just go in his pants. He's had multiple accidents in school this year, and the bathroom is literally in his classroom probably 20 feet from his desk. His pediatrician also thinks he has an immature bladder, since drinking the smallest amount of anything will have him going 2 or 3 times in an hour.
Obviously, this has made theme park touring a little different. Before we had the diagnosis, my wife and I have been putting him in pull-ups so that he could at least tell us when he needs to go. But no matter how often we stop to use the bathroom, the pull-up was always used, or he'd tell us he needed to go when it was impossible to take him (e.g., like when we were already on a ride), or we'd take him before getting in line only to have him need to go 20 minutes later and by the time we could get out of the line and get to the bathroom, it was too late. Not knowing this was a sensory thing, we were getting pretty mad and frustrated at him. I realize now though that when he says he can't feel it or didn't know he had to go, he was being honest, and I feel bad for getting mad at him.
So now, here we are with a trip coming up next month and I really don't know what do to. We've tried the bathroom breaks before every ride and going often and using underwear, or even underwear with a pull-up over it, but again, he can't feel it before he has to go, and doesn't always seem to notice he's even wet or soiled.
I don't want to embarrass him by having to change him like his 2.5 year old brother, although he's never once seemed bothered by it, and maybe it's just me thinking that everyone in the bathroom is watching and judging me changing an older child and that's in my head, and even if they are judging, they don't know what his needs are. And I really don't want to embarrass him by leaving him in underwear and risking an accident on a ride or on line to meet a character or someplace where people might laugh.
Part of me thinks though that since he's not going to use the bathroom anyway, I should just use a regular toddler diaper (he's tall but skinny and easily fits a size 6) and thus avoid having to fully have to remove full pants and shoes in bathrooms that I'm sure while nicer than most places, can't be that clean, especially since pull-ups don't hold enough. And the other part of me says he's 6 and I should leave him in underwear and stop every 20 minutes and before every attraction and show, plan on becoming familiar with every bathroom, and pack lots of changes of clothes. And still another part of me says yea, he's 6, but 6 with special needs, so why make it harder on us and uncomfortable for him?
Any other parents deal with this or something similar? What would you do?
Thank you in advance for any advice/suggestions/opinions. First, I should say I use to have a username on the boards but it's been a long time and I cannot find my old account information. However, I don't want anyone to think I'm trolling.
I have a 6 year old son who was recently diagnosed with ADHD/ODD and SPD (awaiting confirmation from the neurologist, but he "checks off most of the boxes" so to speak). As part of that SPD, he's always had bathroom issues. He didn't potty train until he was 2 months past his 5th birthday, and I use the term loosely, because he still struggles with pooping, has never once been dry at night, and usually doesn't feel that he has to go until the need is extremely urgent, and he literally has seconds to rush to the bathroom. If he gets hyper-focused on something, he will just go in his pants. He's had multiple accidents in school this year, and the bathroom is literally in his classroom probably 20 feet from his desk. His pediatrician also thinks he has an immature bladder, since drinking the smallest amount of anything will have him going 2 or 3 times in an hour.
Obviously, this has made theme park touring a little different. Before we had the diagnosis, my wife and I have been putting him in pull-ups so that he could at least tell us when he needs to go. But no matter how often we stop to use the bathroom, the pull-up was always used, or he'd tell us he needed to go when it was impossible to take him (e.g., like when we were already on a ride), or we'd take him before getting in line only to have him need to go 20 minutes later and by the time we could get out of the line and get to the bathroom, it was too late. Not knowing this was a sensory thing, we were getting pretty mad and frustrated at him. I realize now though that when he says he can't feel it or didn't know he had to go, he was being honest, and I feel bad for getting mad at him.
So now, here we are with a trip coming up next month and I really don't know what do to. We've tried the bathroom breaks before every ride and going often and using underwear, or even underwear with a pull-up over it, but again, he can't feel it before he has to go, and doesn't always seem to notice he's even wet or soiled.
I don't want to embarrass him by having to change him like his 2.5 year old brother, although he's never once seemed bothered by it, and maybe it's just me thinking that everyone in the bathroom is watching and judging me changing an older child and that's in my head, and even if they are judging, they don't know what his needs are. And I really don't want to embarrass him by leaving him in underwear and risking an accident on a ride or on line to meet a character or someplace where people might laugh.
Part of me thinks though that since he's not going to use the bathroom anyway, I should just use a regular toddler diaper (he's tall but skinny and easily fits a size 6) and thus avoid having to fully have to remove full pants and shoes in bathrooms that I'm sure while nicer than most places, can't be that clean, especially since pull-ups don't hold enough. And the other part of me says he's 6 and I should leave him in underwear and stop every 20 minutes and before every attraction and show, plan on becoming familiar with every bathroom, and pack lots of changes of clothes. And still another part of me says yea, he's 6, but 6 with special needs, so why make it harder on us and uncomfortable for him?
Any other parents deal with this or something similar? What would you do?