5th grade "dates"

[AustinTink]

I am well aware, and perfectly comfortable with DD having crushes. I will not encourage a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and I won't support her in dating at this age (meaning taking her and said boyfriend to the movies, etc.) That can happen in a couple of years when I feel that she is mature enough to handle certain situations.

Same here.

 

[Ember]

I am well aware, and perfectly comfortable with DD having crushes. I will not encourage a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and I won't support her in dating at this age (meaning taking her and said boyfriend to the movies, etc.) That can happen in a couple of years when I feel that she is mature enough to handle certain situations.

Of course, I realize that she may sneak

I guess my point is that I would want to know. I would want to be able to talk to my child at that point to openly discuss what they were doing, how they were feeling, and what I was and wasn't comfortable with. Then if they had a kiss and didn't like it or were confused as to what it meant or if a boy touched her in a way she didn't like, it would be me they came to talk to and not their friends. I just don't see how creating a situation where they sneak around is what I would want.

 

[SydSim]

I guess my point is that I would want to know. I would want to be able to talk to my child at that point to openly discuss what they were doing, how they were feeling, and what I was and wasn't comfortable with. Then if they had a kiss and didn't like it or were confused as to what it meant or if a boy touched her in a way she didn't like, it would be me they came to talk to and not their friends. I just don't see how creating a situation where they sneak around is what I would want.

I totally agree - I want us to have those same conversations - when she is around 15 or 16

 

[Gabes_mommy]

You know, I read things like this and always think that if your child wants to "date" they're going to do it anyway. I can't tell you the number of conversations I've overheard 5th and 6th graders have about meeting a boy somewhere (almost always with some friends in tow) without their parents finding out. Heck, when I was that age I remember my friends doing it. If you create a situation where your child can't tell you the truth, they will lie to you. So I think the parents that are dropping their kids off at the theater and picking them up right after aren't doing a bad thing at all. The kids probably held hands or maybe snuck in a kiss. Oooo! (Yes, I've heard this end of the gossip as well. Dating drama in elementary school is pretty mild. It mostly consists of passing notes and holding hands at lunch.)

The situation I posted about earlier included more than kissing or holding hands - a lot more.

I do believe that the type of child is a huge consideration. The OP said that the boys in question were advanced boys. I am a former middle school teacher and trust me - I could tell the difference between sweet kids who would only try things like holding hands, and the more advanced kids who had been exposed to more that they should have been.

The boys I mentioned earlier had older siblings and were not well supervised. It seems that seeing R rated movies and even some pornography was definitely normal to them. I had a 12 year old student who used to talk about watching Wedding Crashers every night. If you have ever seen Wedding Crashers you will know that it involves a lot of nudity and graphic scenes. Kids who are exposed to this kind of thing so young will definitely want to try more things.

 

[krcit]

I think going out on a 'date' in 5th grade is ridiculous. My nephew asked a girl out in 5th grade and my SIL took them to the restaurant and sat at a different table. So silly. On the other hand, I am 40 years old and I was a boy crazy little girl. I had 'boyfriends' in 5th and 6th grade, was kissing but we never went on 'dates'. It was really innocent stuff until about 7th grade and then I went to a Catholic school and if I told you went went on between some of the boys and girls, you would die. I kept out of all that for the most part but was aware enought to be sooooo thankful that my 11 and 14 yo dd's have zero interest in boys so far I hear what goes on with the middle schoolers and high schoolers though and it is scary!

 

[AustinTink]

I went to a Catholic school and if I told you went went on between some of the boys and girls, you would die.

LOL. My son is in Catholic school. Maybe that's the problem.

 

[kafitty]

my first kiss/boyfriend was during the summer between 6th and 7th grade, and he was going into 6th grade...it was my brother's best friend at the time so we had always hung out by ourselves, but even when things got all romantical we never did anything more than kiss.

8th grade and on is when i really started "dating" though...mostly school stuff, and we used to go ice skating nearly every Friday night. We used to hang out at each other's houses, too. In my house, there was always an adult present paying very close attention, but not so for a lot of my other friends.

this was all between 1998-2000 or so.

but, yeah, 5th grade? Sheesh...definitely would not have happened in my house!!