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[Rajah]

I think it's a lovely idea, and agree with TB's recommendations.

Good luck!

 

[shortbun]

It's a great letter! I'd certainly start saving now if I got the
idea from you. I was a travel agent for 29 years and sent
loads of people to Hawaii. Your estimate regarding cost might
be a little low. I used to tell people they should expect at least
$3600 for 10 days plus food and shopping. That was for a
middle of the road trip with rooms that had a partial ocean
view. I did push people who were making this a once in a
lifetime to upgrade things just a bit so they could relax on
their balconies and not overlook a parking lot - know what I
mean?
I really hope this works out!!! I'd go to Hawaii every year if
it were not so far away!
mimi

 

[Amy]

I think it's a wonderful idea, and I commend you for planning in advance. I also like the tone of your letter - you're asking them for their suggestions and you're not telling them how much to give. The way I read it is that each family can give as much as their situations allow; by giving your parents the gifts in separate envelopes, none of the siblings will know how much any of the others gave. Only your parents will know, and they probably have a good idea of the financial situations of all of you anyway.

My DH is one of 5 kids, and I remember one Christmas he got a phone call from his sister who said "WE decided to get Mom a microwave for Christmas; your share is $xxx." Hellooooo! No one asked us what we thought of giving a microwave as a gift in the first place, and then to tell us that we owed them so much money............it just really ticked us off. And since DH is an electrical engineer, he got spend Christmas Day running a new wire from the basement to his mom's kitchen so she could use the thing!

 

[calypso*a*go-go]

Instead of sending the letter first, I would mention that your parents 50th anniversary is coming up and you really want to do something special like send them on a vacation or something. Ask your siblings if they have any suggestions. It could be that they have already thought about it and might have some ideas of their own. If not, start dropping hints about Hawaii. Maybe ask them to do some reseach as far as which island, hotels, etc. It could be that they will be more open to the idea if they think they had a part in the decision instead of you deciding what they are going to do and how to do it. Also, if they are concerned about the cost, maybe a 7-day trip is more reasonable. Lastly, I think it would be tacky to put the money in separate envelopes. You are giving the trip as a combined gift so it should be place in one envelope.

However it turns out, it is a lovely gesture on your part and I'm sure your parents are going to be thrilled.

 

[Traveliz]

My only comment (and not knowing your mom and dad or their situation is where this comes from) is if you get the money together in separate envelopes (which I am not sure is such a great idea) and it falls way short of what they would need...then what?

Since you aren't suggesting a dollar amount that could happen.

I also like the idea of if there are different income levels (or levels of comfort in giving gifts) that one family could do airfare or hotel or food or etc... And its an awesome idea to start this far out so if there is someone with FF miles to donate it can be worked out.

Liz

 

[JESW]

I hope that everything works out for you and your parents! It is such an achievement to make it through 50 years married these days.

I went through the same thing as you when it was my parents 50th and I am also the youngest (of 4). I met up with so much grief from the others that DH & I just agreed to do it on our own. This was before we had kids and both of us were working so it wasn't as bad. We sent my parents on a Carribean cruise and they stayed a couple of days in Miami. It was the first (and only) time they ever did something like that. To this day they still talk about it and last year they celebrated 61 (!!) years of marriage.

We worked with a great travel agent and she had different things set up for them on the ship. The only regret I had was that I couldn't see the look on their faces when they were there.

I hope that your parents also get to have their happy time!

Jill

 

[Pembo]

.

 

[clutter]

Ummm, a letter? My sisters and I don't chat on the phone much, but I'd be pretty ticked off if I got a letter instead of a phone call. At least for the sibs I got along with.

In addition to TB's comments, I'd change your letter to say that you'd like ideas about how to celebrate your parents' 50th, then offer your idea and suggestion for how to make it work. And as wonderful as it would be to surprise them, you may want to check with them that they still would like to go on a trip, and that Hawaii is the first choice. Perhaps there is somewhere closer that they'd still like to go to, and would feel more comfortable with. (My parents travel better on bus tours rather than having to drive in unfamiliar places, for instance.)

Just speaking from the experience of trying to do something great for my parents for their 50th. (ended up doing something ordinary.....)

 

[Tinkerbelle739]

Excellent letter!! I love the fact that everyone would individually give an amount in an envelope. That way no one feels like they have to "keep up" with the rest. Even if your parents dont get the $3000, maybe they will get an amount that is enough for a smaller trip.

Good luck!!

Wishing everyone a "magical" day!