$500 for a class ring????

[disykat]

Wow, whilst I don't see the point of spending that kind of money on these things at all, I wouldn't expect a parent to stop their son/daughter spending their own hard-earned money on it? I bought stuff that was way more stupid than a class ring with my money when I was 16/17/18 but I earnt the money so I could do what I wanted with it?

I'm another parent who will be stopping their child from spending large amounts of their own money. A few bucks - they can make their own decisions. But large amounts, I'll be involved until they are financially independent. I would highly discourage spending $400 on a ring. Spring break trips won't be happening. Cars, sorry Charlie. If they can convince me they are being smart (like going to Walmart and getting a less expensive ring) - maybe. But to me, it's not just up to them just because it's their own money - because it's my job to help them manage their money.

It makes no sense to me for them to waste all their own money only for me to give them more money. I expect them to be saving money towards college expenses, etc. At 12 and 14, they're saving for that already.

My parents were involved in my finances until I was financially independent. I'll do the same.

 

[Kath2003]

Wow, my parents expected me to be responsible, but they also trusted me. They knew I was meeting my ends, saving for college, working hard, so they let me spend whatever was left on whatever I wanted. So yes, I did have $300 shoes, go on vacations etc. and they didn't interfere in the slightest. If I'd not been able to pay for the car insurance or my cell phone bill or save a certain amount each month towards college they'd have stepped in, but I was doing everything they asked so I could spend the extra on whatever I wanted.

I'm 22 now and I've never been that financially free since. It was a good period of time and I'm glad I had the chance to be a bit frivolous and enjoy it. I worked all the way through my bachelors, so much so that I was able to blow a substantial sun on a month-long trip around the USA. That was worth every single penny I earnt in the most god-awful jobs!

 

[bimshire]

Wow, my parents expected me to be responsible, but they also trusted me. They knew I was meeting my ends, saving for college, working hard, so they let me spend whatever was left on whatever I wanted. So yes, I did have $300 shoes, go on vacations etc. and they didn't interfere in the slightest. If I'd not been able to pay for the car insurance or my cell phone bill or save a certain amount each month towards college they'd have stepped in, but I was doing everything they asked so I could spend the extra on whatever I wanted.

I'm 22 now and I've never been that financially free since. It was a good period of time and I'm glad I had the chance to be a bit frivolous and enjoy it. I worked all the way through my bachelors, so much so that I was able to blow a substantial sun on a month-long trip around the USA. That was worth every single penny I earnt in the most god-awful jobs!

In your case, hands off parenting turned out successful but certainly won't work for the typical teen and parents who are doing their job.

 

[Kath2003]

Perhaps, yet my friends were all in a similar situation and we all turned out fine If you don't let your kids handle their own finances, how are they going to cope when they're at college and suddenly have a whole bunch of money do handle?

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

I did not read the whole thread but I would go with the Wal Mart 99.00 job! Who wears a class ring for more than the time that they are in HS??

When I was in HS years ago I told my mother that I would rather take a gold charm bracelet than a HS ring. They cost the same price. I STILL wear the charm bracelet 30 years later and I always think how HAPPY I am to have made that choice. I just had it on yesterday as a matter of fact. Maybe a nice piece of timeless jewlery such as a birthstone OR how about a ring with a stone the color of the HS ring that could take the place of it for many kids. It is something that they will wear and use for years to come. Does anyone wear a HS ring in college???? College rings are different. Many people wear them throughout their adult lives (esp if the college is Ivy League, LOL). You can get one NICE ring with a semi precious stone for 400 to 500.00!

I think 500.00 is outrageous for a High School Ring. Just like everything else that is associated with rites of passage (weddings,funerals, and graduations) inflated prices make people feel guilty if they do not participate.

 

[MareQ]

In your case, hands off parenting turned out successful but certainly won't work for the typical teen and parents who are doing their job.

A bit harsh don't you think? Just because a parent allows their child to spend their money and learn in a different way doesn't mean their parenting is "hands off" and CERTAINLY doesn't mean they're not doing their jobs.

I was raised the same way. My parents believe that when it comes to money we had earned ourselves, they were there to offer advise but not to prevent us from doing what we wanted to do ultimately.

There's more than one way to successfully raise children to be financially responsible people.

 

[Sthronds]

My parents bought me my high school class ring but I don't think it was more than $200. It was important for me to get one because I was the 3rd generation graduate from my high school. My grandmother had given me her class ring, and I will get my mom's eventually. I thought it would be great to have the three together someday.

For my college class ring, I bought my own for about $250but it doesn't look like a class ring at all and I wear it all the time. It has the name of my college, my degree, the year and my name but you'd have to look close to figure out it was a class ring.

 

[Kath2003]

A bit harsh don't you think? Just because a parent allows their child to spend their money and learn in a different way doesn't mean their parenting is "hands off" and CERTAINLY doesn't mean they're not doing their jobs.

I agree. I hardly think ensuring that my car insurance, cell phone bill and college savings were paid every month can be classed as "hands off" parenting (I had WAY more restrictions on my money than most people I know). I knew what I HAD to pay, and the rest was mine to do as I wished (and if I blew it on something stupid, that was MY problem).

In fact, that's pretty much the same deal as now when my parents give me NO financial support: I HAVE to pay my rent, my bills, my cell phone, my car insurance, my groceries and the rest is mine to do as I wish.

 

[disykat]

Perhaps, yet my friends were all in a similar situation and we all turned out fine If you don't let your kids handle their own finances, how are they going to cope when they're at college and suddenly have a whole bunch of money do handle?

It sounds like you are in a different socio-economic class than me. My kids will do just fine handling money because I am teaching them well. Your parents also expected you to save money for college and taught you well. The difference is that $300 shoes (the example you gave) just don't work into our financial situation. My kids understand that and wouldn't expect me to give them money after they spent their own money on things that I don't consider affordable.

I'm not expecting the kids to live on hot dogs while I eat Caviar. I'm expecting them to live like our finances dictate. If they want to live a caviar lifestyle on their own money while I'm living on hotdogs - it would be silly for me to keep giving them money.

 

[Kath2003]

It sounds like you are in a different socio-economic class than me. My kids will do just fine handling money because I am teaching them well. Your parents also expected you to save money for college and taught you well. The difference is that $300 shoes (the example you gave) just don't work into our financial situation. My kids understand that and wouldn't expect me to give them money after they spent their own money on things that I don't consider affordable.

I wouldn't expect my parents to have given me money at that age, loan or gift, whether I bought expensive items or not?

If it's my money, and my $300 shoes, why wouldn't it work?

I think you're confused: I was talking about my money, from which I had to take savings, car insurance etc. and then the rest was mine to do what I wanted with. My parents didn't give me money at that age, although they did help me through college (with a certain amount of work and savings contributed from me in return).

 

[Ciao Mickey]

Wow, whilst I don't see the point of spending that kind of money on these things at all, I wouldn't expect a parent to stop their son/daughter spending their own hard-earned money on it? I bought stuff that was way more stupid than a class ring with my money when I was 16/17/18 but I earnt the money so I could do what I wanted with it?

I don't mind my kids making their own decisions, but when that decision will result in them wasting a lot of money, then I feel it's my job to present all sides of the argument.

Class rings are totally overpriced. Who wears class rings once they're out of high school? Not anyone I know. Are you really going to wear this ring once you get to college? Doesn't it make more sense to buy something that you'll wear for the rest of your life? Put the money towards a trip, or in a CD, or something you really really want. If you decide you want the class ring next year, then you can buy it.

And that's the argument I presented to my kids. My kids are pretty level headed and listen to reason most of the time.

 

[darrose]

Mine was around $300, but it's not a typical class ring. It's got a marquise stone in the middle in aquarium. It looks more like an engagement ring in some sorts but it has my school initials on one side and the year I graduated on the other, 2005. Then there are there three fake small diamonds either below or above the engravings. It also has my signature in the band and yes I still wear it everyday.

Oh and the rings are nothing to graduation costs. I think going in order my yearbook then my ring were the cheapest of all my stuff for my senior year.

This sounds like the type my daughter has as her class ring. Its very beautiful,
looks like a fashion ring, so it in a way is doing double duty. A class ring that looks like a fashion ring. She wears it a lot.

 

[disykat]

I wouldn't expect my parents to have given me money at that age, loan or gift, whether I bought expensive items or not?

If it's my money, and my $300 shoes, why wouldn't it work?

I think you're confused: I was talking about my money, from which I had to take savings, car insurance etc. and then the rest was mine to do what I wanted with. My parents didn't give me money at that age, although they did help me through college (with a certain amount of work and savings contributed from me in return).

I don't think I'm confused. As long as I am paying money for my children's living expenses or education expenses I am "giving them money." If they have money to afford items I can't afford myself, they probably won't be needing my financial help any more.

I'm trying to point out that I'm guessing you came from a financial situation where you were free to make those kinds of decisions. My kids aren't in that same situation, because, to us, spending that kind of money isn't an option. When the child reaches the point where they can outspend their parents, why would they still be financially dependent on them? When my kids are financially independent, they'll be able to make any choices they want without my involvement. Until then, not so.

 

[Kath2003]

I don't think I'm confused. As long as I am paying money for my children's living expenses or education expenses I am "giving them money." If they have money to afford items I can't afford myself, they probably won't be needing my financial help any more.

I'm trying to point out that I'm guessing you came from a financial situation where you were free to make those kinds of decisions. My kids aren't in that same situation, because, to us, spending that kind of money isn't an option. When the child reaches the point where they can outspend their parents, why would they still be financially dependent on them? When my kids are financially independent, they'll be able to make any choices they want without my involvement. Until then, not so.

So, would you be happy for your child to spend $300 over a period of say 3 months on CDs, clothes, going out etc. or is it just that they saved up and spend their money on one big thing that's not allowed?

I had a finite source of money. I saved up for 3 months to get my $300 shoes. If I'd spent $100 a month in Starbucks, trips to the cinema, cheaper clothes, and a couple of CDs, how is that any different?

 

[Master Mason]

First on the Class ring, I bought one for my older son when he was a junior, cost about $400, I just ordered my younger son's as a sophmore, right around $500. I have mine that I wore all though college and up until I got married infact. I also have my fathers, which he practically wore out. Everyone is different in what they wear and why. But it was important for me to get them for my son's just as it was important for my dad to get me one.

As to the kids and spending their own money, I offer advice, on where and how to spend their money, but ulitmately it is their money, they worked to earn it, if they choose to blow it, then they also know they won't be getting it replaced by me if they find out they need or want something down the line. Now is the time to be teaching them to be responsible. Dictating is not teaching.

 

[disykat]

So, would you be happy for your child to spend $300 over a period of say 3 months on CDs, clothes, going out etc. or is it just that they saved up and spend their money on one big thing that's not allowed?

I had a finite source of money. I saved up for 3 months to get my $300 shoes. If I'd spent $100 a month in Starbucks, trips to the cinema, cheaper clothes, and a couple of CDs, how is that any different?

Ack. You're not getting it. We are in a different ecomomic position than you. We do not have that kind of discretionary income. I quoted the shoe thing from you as an example. In general, I went through college with very little discretionary income because I knew my parents were sacrificing financially at the time giving me tuition money. I expect we will be in a similar situation while our kids were in college - and no, I will not be happy if their entertainment budget etc. is more than mine while I am still giving them money.

My whole point was that your parents taught you good money management skills within your economic means. My parents, and many other parents do the same thing by discouraging large less practical expenses - because for them, class rings etc. are an extravagance that is simply not reasonable.

 

[EthansMom]

My parents bought mine as my Christmas gift for my freshman year of HS. I think it cost ~$300. I wore it through HS, but not much after that. I've been thinking of selling it for the value of it's gold to help pay for spending money on an upcoming vacation.

When it comes time for my kids to be considering class rings, I'll probably point them in the direction of Walmart.

 

[Mary Anne]

First on the Class ring, I bought one for my older son when he was a junior, cost about $400, I just ordered my younger son's as a sophmore, right around $500. I have mine that I wore all though college and up until I got married infact. I also have my fathers, which he practically wore out. Everyone is different in what they wear and why. But it was important for me to get them for my son's just as it was important for my dad to get me one.

You are not alone. That was the reason I bought my son one and the reason I bought a good jewlery one. It has given him a lot of enjoyment and as a 2nd year college student he till wears it all the time. Not because it ties him to his high school but because he knows what it represents in our family and the fact that it is a beautiful piece of jewrey.

What is a wated $500 to one person is something well worth it to another. Now those senior pictures, those I refusted to pay for, that to me was a waste of money. We have no one to give them to and they would have just sat in a drawer.

 

[Camicar]

If it's my money, and my $300 shoes, why wouldn't it work?

This is why it wouldn't work: I am trying to teach my kid our family values. Our family values do not include spending large amounts of money on crap, which is what I consider a class ring to be. So, just as I wouldn't allow her to spend money on porn or A&F clothes, I wouldn't allow her to buy a class ring.

If she doesn't like living according to our family values, she can move out and find out that spending $450 on a class ring is a really bad idea when you have to buy food and pay rent and pay for college on your own. It's that simple.

And for every kid that was allowed to spend their money without restrictions and thru some miracle grew up to be fiscally-responsible, I can point to another young adult in serious financial difficulty bec they still haven't learned any money management. My coworker had that attitude with her kids. Even though she and her dh are good money managers, all of their kids are in serious financial trouble. All of them continally overdraft on their checking accounts, have no savings, and think nothing of buying $500 I-phones, and one of them never does laundry -- she just buys new clothes. They now deeply regret not being more 'controlling' of their kids' money -- bec they feel that they never TAUGHT them how to manage it. How can you learn how to manage money if you are never taught the value of it?

 

[mattsdragon]

The high school ring is kind of important. It is definitely a social thing.

On the other side. . .get the cheap one. Mine cost less than $100 (granted it was in '89). I never had any problem not getting a gold one. You can't tell by looking or picking it up that it isn't gold. I believe mine was made from melted beer cans. I still have it, in fact, I'm not sure where my actual gold (and unbelievably expensive) college ring is (because I never wear it) but I know exactly where my high school one is.

Convince you son that he doesn't need the expensive one, explain that the cheap one still serves it's purpose, save up for the college ring.