For all of you scuba divers out there, I just got this in an email:
> This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a
> bad day at work, think of this guy. Bob is a commercial saturation
> diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs
> on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.
> She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne,
> Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless
> to say, she won.
>
> Hi Sue,
>
>
> Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had
> a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at
> work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you
> realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what
> happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my
> job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a
> suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is
> quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel
> powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks
> the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It
> then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped
> to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used
> it several times with no complaints.
>
>
> What I do,when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the
> hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole
> suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was
> going well until all of a sudden, my rear-end started to itch. So, of
> course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few
> seconds my rear-end started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my
> back,but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
> The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
> wet suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
> couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my rear-end was not as
> fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
> grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my rear-end.
>
> I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
> His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
> other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I
> aborted the dive.
>
> I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
> totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin
> my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was
> wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water,
> the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a
> tube of cream and told me to rub it on my rear-end as soon as I got in
> the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't go to the
> bathroom [#2] for two days because my rear-end was swollen shut.
>
> So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
> worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
> Now repeat to yourself: "I love my job, I love my job, I love my
> job."